This little piggie went to a party, the same little piggie didn’t make it home.

If you know me, you know this toe. Anyone?

That’s a horrible title. I’m sorry.

Globe: A woman’s toe was bitten off during a fight at a raucous New Year’s Eve party when a fight broke out around 3 a.m., said Nicole Grant, Boston police spokeswoman. 

The fight started after a victim approached a girl at the party and asked if she would like to “hook up,” the victim told police, according to Grant. The girl’s boyfriend was reportedly upset at the suggestion, grabbed the victim’s neck, and forcefully pulled her hair back. He eventually released her after she continuously yelled at him to let go. Shaken, the woman told the host what happened, she told police, but her friend did not believe the story and accused her of ruining the party. The victim told police that the host then assaulted her, punching her until other guests pulled them apart, Grant said.

The victim said she grabbed her belongings and fled the house, but the party host attacked her again outside. The two women fell to the ground, with the victim on top of her friend, according to her account. They fought until they were separated once more, at which point the host grabbed the victim’s left foot and bit off her left little toe. Another friend of the victim drove her to Boston Medical Center. There were scratches on both of the victim’s arms, her forehead, and over her neck and chest, Grant said. Detectives are investigating the incident, Grant said.

Whoa. Where do I begin? Let’s attempt a reiteration:

Girl #1 hits on Girl #2 at a party. Boyfriend of Girl #1 takes offense, grabs Girl #1 by the hair and drags her away. Girl #1 goes to her friend, Girl #3 (the host of the party), and tells her what happened. Girl #3 refuses to believe Girl #1 and accuses her of ruining her party. Girl #3 attacks Girl #1. Girl #1 grabs her stuff and runs for her life. Girl #3 catches her, wrestling in the yard ensues, and Girl #3 bites off Girl #1’s left little toe. Girl #4 then drives Girl #1 to the hospital.

Wow. Helluva way to begin 2014, huh? See a cute chick at a party, decide to make a move, and the next thing you know you’re in the emergency room with scratches on your arms, forehead, neck and chest. Oh, and minus a left little piggie. Tough New Year’s Eve for Girl #1. Tough New Year’s Eve indeed.

I wonder if alcohol was involved?

Note: I was dying to get in a “Happy Toe Year’s!” line in there somewhere but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Damn. Another golden life-chance missed.

Note #2: The Globe writer sure hit a home run with the description of the party in the story’s opening line. If this party was anything, it was “raucous.” Well done.

Note #3: No word on whether the severed toe was saved and reattached. If  not, some neighborhood cat had a nice New Year’s Day breakfast. I’ll search up the Goggle for some answers.