Archive for the ‘Things I Love’ Category

Her name is Pierogi, and she is awesome.

[click and scroll]

Advertisements

Awww.

Sweet Mother of all that is holy, somebody make me this.

Go ahead, make your Clinton jokes. My title up there sets you up perfectly. I don’t care. Something about our 42nd president hiding between the statues of our 41st and 43rd presidents cracks me up. I mean, Bill looks like he’s guilty of someth . . . never mind. Anyway, great photo.

Ballooning is a means by which spiders can move through the air by releasing one or more threads to catch the wind and sail away like a boss. We’ve all seen Charlotte’s Web, right? Anyway, by these means they are wafted aloft and are at the mercy of the air currents. This procedure is mostly used by spiderlings to disperse, but adult spiders have been observed using it too. The spider climbs to a high point, stands on its toes and points its abdomen to the sky, releasing fine silk threads until lift-off occurs. Journeys achieved vary from a few yards to hundreds of miles. Even ships in mid-ocean have reported spider landings. That’s cool, man. Spiderling Paratroopers. True story: Once when I was teaching PE I had a group of 2nd Graders out on our softball field. Suddenly a kid pointed to the sky and yelled, “Flying spiders! FLYING SPIDERS!!!” And damned if he wasn’t right. Hundreds if not thousands of ballooning spiders were seemingly attacking us from the heavens, landing in hair, on clothes, everywhere. It was scary as hell for me the kids.  Anywho, Ballooning Spiders.

PS- If you don’t think I’m going to use the term “spiderling” in the future you’re out of your gourd.

You guys know how all these wild conspiracy theories interest me. JFK, the supposed death of Paul McCartney, hell, I even posted about cartoons and the movie Back to the Future predicting 9/11. And have I mentioned that Stevie Wonder may not be blind? Anywho, this stuff make compelling reading even if you’re 99% certain it isn’t true.

Still, there’s that 1%. That’s what makes it all fascinating.

Anyway, what you’re about to read and see may be the wildest, most outlandish theory of all – Elvis Presley was an extra in Home Alone.

Because of course he was.

There is a scene midway through the film, where Catherine O’Hara’s character is bartering with an airline employee over a ticket counter in a Scranton Airport. A bearded man in a sports coat and turtleneck hovers over her left shoulder, occasionally expressing his impatience with his body language. This man, many believe, is played by none other than The King himself. Let’s take a gander . . .

Huh. Well, Elvis grew a beard for the movie Charro back in the 60’s. Let us compare:

Damn, that is a close resemblance. But oh, there’s more.

Well, now I’m all shook up. Say no more. I’m convinced. I know suspicious minds won’t concur, but Elvis was in the movie Home Alone 13-years after his alleged “death.” Come on Elvis. Don’t be cruel. It’s now or never. It’s time for your big comeback.

Have a blue Christmas everybody!

PS- If you know that actor’s name please don’t tell me. Let me keep on believin’.

 

Just when I’d lost all hope, when hatred and heartlessness seemed to rule, a hero has emerged from the darkness. A hero that believes, like Hippocrates and myself, that “the soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different.” Seriously, dude ran into a raging wildfire to save a bunny. That’s cool.

Page Six: A dog ran amok at Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cats” this week. Sources at the Neil Simon Theatre tell us an audience member’s service dog named Zeus “got away from its owner and ran after Bombalurina during the opening number.” Luckily, a fast-moving usher intervened and returned the wayward canine to its mortified owner. 

Listen, if you’re dumb enough to dress like a cat you deserve to be chased by a dog. Dude was just doing what dogs do – protecting his owner. He saw a giant cat running around up there and decided danger was afoot. I’m just sad that Zeus didn’t catch Bombalurina and end the show in bloodshed right then and there.

PS- Only these idiots would have a show called “Cats” and none called “Dogs.” Broadway, man.

PPS- I’d never go see “Cats” because there’s a scene where they come in the audience and sit on your lap. I’m afraid I’d punch one of the cats right in the throat.

Eerie.

Oh hell yes.

Holy Jesus that Rainbow Wrasse is a purty fish. The Rainbow Wrasse is a colorful fish that can be found in the Mediterranean Sea and in the northeast Atlantic Ocean from Sweden to Senegal. It is widely thought to be ah what the hell who cares? It’s a gorgeous fish. Anywho, Rainbow Wrasse.

People can’t seem to understand that whatever faults social media may have, it will always expose the frauds of the world. Case in point, when somebody asked the Twitterverse to name a badder bitch than Taylor Swift, the People of Twitter did precisely that. There were literally hundreds of responses, but I shall only post my two favorites. Let’s begin with the original post, followed by the responses.

Ooh, tough one. Who could possibly be badder? Wait . . .

Boom. But there’s more . . .

Mmmm . . . K. Once again, the internet wins. Thank you and goodnight.

He has to be dead, right? Just a brutal shot to the neck. Or perhaps he was flopping. Hard to tell these days.

Amazing stuff. Be sure and watch both videos.

USA Today: New research finds dogs are far brainier than cats, with more than twice as many neurons in their cerebral cortexes. Dogs were also found to be more loyal, compassionate, loving and obedient.

OK, I added that second sentence myself. That doesn’t make it untrue though. Listen, anyone that this news surprises is an idiot. Of course dogs are smarter than cats. Ever see a cat lead a lost child out of the forest? Didn’t think so. When you come home a dog greets you at the door with his tail wagging. Cats? They stay upstairs planning on ways to murder you in your sleep. Dogs every day, every way.

I recently read an article in Nat Geo entitled Inside the Hidden World of Jaguars that was absolutely fascinating. I highly recommend it. Anyway, here are some of the facts contained within. Good stuff.

  • The Jaguar is the largest cat in the Americas, and the 3rd largest in the world behind lions and tigers.
  • The name jaguar comes from the Native American word yaguar, which means “he who kills with one leap.” Awesome.
  • Jaguars can live to be 12 to 15 years old in the wild.
  • Jaguars can grow to nearly 8-feet in length.
  • Jaguars are at home in rivers, on jungle ground, and in trees. They love to swim.
  • Jaguars eyes have night-vision retinas. That’s badass.
  • Jaguars have the most powerful bite, relative to their size, among the big cats.
  • Uniquely among the big cats, Jaguars bite the skulls rather than the throats of their prey, piercing the brain and causing instant death. Also badass.
  • The Jaguar population is declining rapidly.
  • Bi-national conservation efforts have been successful at protecting a small population of 80 to 120 Jaguars in the remote mountains of Sonora, Mexico bordering Arizona. This population is the largest of three known to remain in Sonora, and is the last hope for recovery in the United States.
  • The Jaguar once roamed from Argentina in South America all the way up to Arizona’s Grand Canyon. There have actually been sporadic sightings in Arizona in recent years.
  • Jaguars have one of the loudest roars in nature.
  • Jaguars are solitary animals. Males defend a range of up to 60-miles and only come together with females to mate.
  • The Jaguar has one predator – humans.

For your perusal, here’s a gallery of the awesome Jaguar. Enjoy.

[click photo for the awesomeness]

Good boy. Never a second thought, just went to help because it was the right thing to do.

Nice save, Impalas.

Finally, something to take down that damn flying wolf-dog I showed you the other day. Ladies and gentlemen, the Harpy Eagle is one badass giant flyin’ death machine. It is the largest and most powerful raptor found in the freakin’ rainforest. These bad boys have been known to grow to nearly 30-pounds, man! Their wingspan can reach 6-feet and they can be 3-feet tall. Yikes. Fun Fact: Adult Harpy Eagles give a penetrating, melancholy scream, with the males’ call described as “a whispy screaming or wailing“. That’s cool. Anywho, Harpy Eagle.

Holy mother do we need this guy after that flyin’ wolf I posted the other day. Dang he was horrifying. Check out the little Ili Pika down there though. Little dude is cute and cuddly like you read about. Looks like a Star Wars character or something. For more than 20 years, the Ili Pika had eluded scientists in the Tianshan Mountains of northwestern China. People have seen the furry critter only a handful of times since it was discovered by accident in 1983. In fact, people have spotted only 29-live individuals, and little is known about the animal’s ecology and behavior. Little guy is a mystery, man. Anywho, Ili Pika.

 

Oh sweet Jesus no. Nope. Oh HELL naw. Good Lord almighty that’s chilling to gander at. But yes kids, this nightmare fuel is a real, honest-to-God living creature. Speaking of God, he had to be just messing with is with this guy, huh? “Hey, I’m in a weird mood today. Think I’ll create a flying wolf.” Anyway, this dude lives in Africa and feeds mostly on fruit, toddlers and the occasional drunken native stumbling home from the local watering hole. Seriously, they say just fruit but color me skeptical. I mean, look at this guy. Anywho, African Buttikofer Epaulatted Fruit Bat.

The young bat, named Miss Alicia, was rescued in Queensland, Australia, after a scary encounter with a car left her in need of urgent care. She was taken into the loving arms of bat conservationist Denise Wade and is poised to make a full recovery with no major injuries sustained. She’s also adorable as hell if you haven’t noticed.

Check out the Tree-Kangaroo, man. So cute it hurts. Tree-kangaroos are a lot like regular kangaroos, except they’re twice as fluffy, and almost resemble small tree-dwelling bears. Found mostly in Australia and New Guinea, they are elusive as hell and little is known about their behavior. Though exact population numbers are currently unknown, Tree-Kangaroos face the constant threat of hunting and habitat destruction because, you know, humans are assholes. Anywho, Tree-Kangaroo.

Yikes.

God help these glorious animals.