Hilarity at the Doctor’s Office

Not the guy, but you get the picture.

So I’m at the doctor’s office this week, just sitting there in the waiting room after I checked in minding my own business. Nurses are occasionally stepping out of the door leading back to the docs, calling out names of people and taking them back to their appointments. I’d just taken a seat when a nurse stepped out and said this:

“Andre? Is there an Andre here?”

No big deal. Some dude named Andre was next. But then, to my right . . .

“ANDRE! ANDRE THE GIANT! WOOHOO! THE BIG MAN! AAAANNNDDRREEE!”

You see, there was a gentleman in the waiting area that was, shall we say, a little unbalanced. He’d heard the name Andre, associated it with Andre the Giant, and had rolled with it. When he yelled we all kind of jumped because it startled the hell out of us, but then we’d smiled, realizing what was up. But a few minutes later another nurse came out . . .

“George? George?”

Which brought the guy back into the mix.

“BOOOOOOOSH! George BOOOOOOOSH! W!  DUBYA! BOOOOOOOSH!”

Ah, so this was how it was going to be. This unhinged dude was going to hear a name, associate it with someone he knew with the same name, and go to town. At this point I was enjoying myself immensely, although some were appalled, even angry. What could be next?

“Charlie? Is Charlie here?”

I should have seen it coming, but damned if it still didn’t surprise me . . .

“CHARLIE! CHARLIE SHEEEEEEN! TIGER BLOOOOOOD! TWO AND A HALF MEN! WINNING!”

I swear to God at this point I was in tears. This dude, although a little disturbed, was dialed in like you would not dream. But then came the kicker . . .

“Dave? Is Dave here?”

Hey, it was me! But as I walked to meet the nurse . . .

“SHOOOOE! Coach SHOOOOE!”

Then, very calmly:

“Hey man, sorry about the coaching thing. That was a really bad deal.”

Well I’ll be damned. Maybe the guy wasn’t so crazy after all.