Bro gets backpack stolen, contents contained within are legendary.

Check out this police report. My comments follow.

Weird, man. That’s pretty much exactly what I keep in my backpack. You know, other than the $8000 in cash, $300 alligator skin passport holders, $700 notebooks, $4,000 worth of pens and a solid gold $7000 cigar cutter. Plus all that other stuff. On a related note, who leaves a backpack with $41,930.00 worth of stuff in it in their car and lets a valet drive away with it? Haven’t they seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? Hell, when I turn over my car to a valet I lock my $5.99 sunglasses in the glove box. You can’t trust people, man. Apparently this guy doesn’t give a damn about nuthin’. Anyway, best backpack contents ever.