Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

I have a few observations. First off, stellar camera work here. Beautiful foreshadowing with the closeup of the gator. Secondly, who ziplines over a gator pit? Thirdly, WHO ZIPLINES OVER A GATOR PIT WHILE HOLDING A 3-YEAR OLD KID? Fourthly, I guarantee this was a case of a spoiled kid who demanded to go ziplining over gators and mommy and daddy allowed it because the kid runs the house. Fifthly, people are dumb.

Note: Sixthly, I’m awesome at making up words.


Orlando Sentinel: While many people view South Florida’s invasive iguana population as an annoyance at best and a pandemic at worst, Ishmeal Asson sees something else: lunch.

The Fort Lauderdale resident and native Trinidadian considers eating iguanas to be a way of life. Growing up, Asson learned to roast the island critters at roadside and backyard gatherings. Iguana is a staple in the Caribbean, where the reptiles are a native species and are known as “pollo de los árboles,” or Chicken of the Trees. Their meat contains more protein than chicken, and members of some cultures believe it has medicinal properties.

Asson said he and his friends use a traditional method of preparing iguana. “First, we cut off the head, then roast [the body] on the fire. You have to roast it with the skin on because it’s easier to take the skin off once it’s roasted,” he said. “Then, we cut it up into pieces and season it with a lot of fresh produce like chives and onions. I love to season it with curry and hot pepper, too. We’re having a cookout this weekend.”

Not gonna lie. I don’t hate this idea. Iguana seasoned with chives, onions, curry and hot peppers sounds delish. Hey, I’m a big animal guy but I love gator, tree frogs and stuff like that. Anything that will eat me is fair game for dinner in my opinion. Plus I was harassed by an iguana the size of a German Shepherd in Montserrat once. Dead serious. Dude was relentless. Have you ever seen one of those things run? Sneaky fast, man. Bottom line, pass me a plate of that Chicken of the Trees, man.

PS- I’ve never been harassed by a tree frog. Sorry if I misled you there.


What moves. Totally impressed.

That gorilla looking at the sky really got to me.

Nature, man.

Here’s a pretty amazing video about Orcas. Check out these facts:

1. Orcas are not actually whales, but dolphins.

2. There are no recorded cases of Orcas killing humans in the wild, only in captivity.

3. Orcas take turns eating fish through a process called “Carousel Feeding.” Fascinating stuff.

4. Think you’re safe on land, Mr. Seal? Think again. You’ll see why in the video.

5. Orcas work in teams to create waves that knock seals off of ice flows. Diabolical, man.

6. Orcas commonly drown larger whales by blocking their blow holes and/or holding them underwater.

7. Great White Sharks have one natural predator – The Orca.

“Move over Rafi, let the kids help!”

JAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) — A 23-foot long python has swallowed a woman in central Indonesia, a village official said Saturday. The victim, 54-year-old Wa Tiba, went missing while checking her vegetable garden near her village on Muna island in Southeast Sulawesi province on Thursday evening, according to the village chief, Faris. On Friday, her family went to look for her at the garden but found only her belongings, including sandals and a flashlight, said Faris, who uses a single name. The family and villagers launched a search for the woman, and found the snake with a bloated belly about 35-yards from where her belongings were found. The villagers killed the snake and carried it to the village. “When they cut open the snake’s belly they found Tiba’s body still intact with all her clothes,” Faris said. “She was swallowed headfirst.”

First off, big thanks Faris for letting us know which end went in first. I guess that is better than the alternative though? Helluva way for Wa Tiba to go in any event, amirite? Getting eaten by a python while checking your garden on Muna Island in Southeast Sulawesi? Yikes. And to think you believe you’re having a bad day because little Bryce doesn’t want to go to Camp Happy Hopes for 2-weeks. Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is that when in Indonesia checking on your veggies, keep your head on a swivel.

PS- How in the hell does a 23-foot long python sneak up on somebody? Slithering quietly like a mofo I guess. Chills, man.

Just an insanely complex system. Nature, man.

Dogs can smell their owners from up to 11-miles away.


Seriously, I had no idea there were so many cool offshoots from the anteater family. Sweet beans, man. Check it out.

If you’re one of those blind, cynical bastards who can’t see that these elephants are saluting the humans that saved their baby you can go straight to hell. Clearly they’re giving thanks to the people who saved that little elephant. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times – years from now we’re going to finally understand the intelligence of animals and we’re going to shake our head at how we once treated them. Animals, man. God bless ’em.

So Russia is celebrating the start of the World Cup and everyone is all giddy and whatnot. As part of the festivities some Russian bros brought their bear along for the fun, and here he is playing a vuvuzela and giving the “up yours” forearm jerk sign to innocent passerby. On a related note, that bear is going to maul the living hell out of those dudes soon.

Note: Whilst researching the “up yours” sign, I found that it is indeed called the “forearm jerk” overseas. I also found out that there are about 20 innocent gestures we make here in the USA that have totally different meanings outside our country. Stay tuned for the upcoming riveting blog.

Note 2: When the mauling commences those assheads will totally deserve it.

Someone needs to check on that Corgi.


An adult gray whale in the summer eats approximately 2,400 pounds of food a day. It swallows at least 67-77 tons of food during a four to six month feast on the Arctic feeding grounds.


You know this whale is just messing around with these people, right? Probably just said to his whale buddies, “Watch this. I’m going to splash the hell out of these tourists. Hold my plankton.” Whales, man.

Note: One of the things whales eat is plankton. I looked it up. They also eat crabs and squids and stuff but plankton seemed funnier. 

A bison gored a woman in Yellowstone National Park on Wednesday, marking the third time in a week that park animals attacked humans, according to the Associated Press.

Officials said that the woman, 59-year-old Kim Hancock of Santa Rosa, California, was in a crowd of people that got within 15-feet of a bison while they were walking along a boardwalk, according to a National Park Service news release. Rangers advise staying at least 25-yards away from animals like bison and elk, the park said.

Ah, nothing like a good “goring of a moron” story to start the week, amirite? Hey, there’s an 1,800 pound animal with horns! Let’s get all up in its face and stuff! Good God. At least they didn’t put the animal down though, because Kim Hancock is the one who should be put down. Not sayin’ just sayin’.

PS- Third time in a week sounds like a really good average. Keep it up, bison.

Love this video. One minute this dude is showing off for the crowd, slapping the gator, stepping on its snout, acting all badass, the next minute the gator is head-butting him into oblivion. On a related note, I’m pretty sure that guy’s sunglasses landed in the next county over. Good stuff.

Yes, that is indeed a red, and also spiny, crab. Little dude has spines to protect it from the predators of the deep sea. They’re usually found in much deeper waters than the regular crabs, although occasionally some will pop up in regular crab traps. Anyhoo, Red Spiny Crab.

CCTV: A fearless dog has been caught on camera fighting off a leopard that tried to snatch its puppy from outside a building in India. The daring rescue was captured on CCTV from an Indian Forest Service office in the northern state of Himachal Pradesh. Footage shows the puppy sitting on a porch outside the office before the big cat pounces, trying to grab its prey and run. However, the mother reacts quickly to the situation, attacking the leopard and forcing it to retreat back into the forest.

Seriously, dogs are the best, right? That mother dog went after a killing machine 3-times her size and made of razor sharp claws and teeth without blinking an eye. Not today, leopard boy. Not today.

PS- Man, bad day for cats, huh? Leopard has to go back to the forest and tell his buddies a mother dog kicked his ass. That’s just embarrassing.

Sweet Jesus. Nice job crabs.

So here’s a zookeeper in the Ukraine breaking up a lion fight with a slipper, because of course he is. I will post information regarding the inevitable mauling of this zookeeper in a future blog. Stay tuned.

Future photo when magic slipper quits working.

What kind of videos never get old? Dog videos. Adorable.

So I read this article in the Canine Journal today, and I must say it is 100% correct on all counts. The article is in italics, with my comments included in regular type.

Jack Russell terriers are tough, tenacious, athletic, and super friendly. They have a never-say-die attitude.

Tough? Oh hell yes. More on that later. Tenacious? Dude doesn’t know the what quit means. Friendly? Well, yeah, as long as you don’t have feathers. Never say die? I can promise you Sparky would never, ever quit in a fight. He’d die first.

Did you know Jack Russell terriers can jump as high as five feet, or 5-times their own height?

I do know this. Sparky can pogo like you read about. He’s been known to jump up and ride with people on horses, no joke. He’s also jumped over the side of a pickup truck bed from a dead stop on the ground.

The Jack Russell Terrier is a dog who lives to work, and perhaps play as well, because being bred to hunt they are runners that enjoy a good run and in particular a good chase!

Der. Just ask the neighborhood cats. And rabbits. And kids on bikes. And anything with feathers.

An unfortunate instinct, however, is their barking and general noise level. A working Jack Russell would have to gain the attention of its master as well as frighten foxes and badgers from their holes and they did so by barking. Unfortunately for most, for owners today this is a characteristic that stuck with the breed and they are known for being noisy dogs that aren’t afraid to bark to get the attention of their owner or other companion animals.

Yep. All I have to do is pick up my car keys and all hell breaks loose. Someone asked me the other day why Sparky goes everywhere with me. My answer? “Because he insisted.

In addition to barking the Jack Russell Terrier is a particularly high energy dog that was bred to have good stamina when it came to the hunt. The Jack Russell Terrier can be deceiving for such a small dog. They have zero problem taking on a much bigger dog, or any kind of animal for that matter.

Gee, ya think? At 22-pounds, The Spark has taken on, among other things, a German Shepherd and a coyote. And oh by the way, he chased a pit bull out of our yard the other day. I kid you not.

The potential owner should always be aware of this stamina and need for exercise because the Jack Russell will always find a way to entertain itself if it is not provided with adequate exercise and stimulation.

True story. I gave Sparky a bath the other day and afterwards he wanted to be let out. He then proceeded to sprint around the house 5-consecutive times. Dead run. Not even kidding. Then he followed it up by nearly catching a dove before it took flight.

So yeah, pretty accurate description of my best friend. Sparky, man. Not sure what I’d do without him.


Well, this is sort of chilling. I guess it happens between two males during mating season. Anyhoo, check it out. Looks as if something’s about to go down.