Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

Check out that platypus, man. Dude just looks confused as hell. He has a duck’s bill and feet, a beaver’s tail and an otter’s body and fur. In fact, when scientists first heard of this guy they thought he was a hoax. Other weird facts about platypuses are that they’re venomous, lay eggs, have 10 sex chromosomes, and they don’t have stomachs or teeth. Nature, man. It’s wild. Anywho, Playtypus.

Note: Bonus baby platypus pic below! Check it out!

Baby Platypus!

In an intense encounter recorded by surveillance cameras, a Florida man chased an alligator under water and rescued his 3-month-old puppy from the jaws of death.

Richard Wilbanks, 74, of Estero ran into his backyard pond, wrestled the gator above surface, and pried its jaws open to free Gunner, his Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

Wilbanks told CNN “We were just out walking by the pond and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick.”

He said adrenaline or instinct kicked in, and “I just automatically jumped into the water.”

Holding the alligator wasn’t so tough, but prying open the jaws was “extremely hard,” he said.

Wilbanks said his hands were “chewed up,” and he went to a doctor for a tetanus shot. Gunner had one puncture wound in his belly and did fine after a trip to the veterinarian’s office.

Because hell yes Richard Wilbanks did. Hey, you see your dog being dragged to the depths of hell by a modern day dinosaur that’s what you do – you jump down there and bring it home. Then you make a quick trip to the doc for a tetanus shot followed by a stop at the vet and you get on with your life.

You don’t mess with a man’s dog, folks. Even if you are an alligator.

PS- Sparky hasn’t tangled with a gator yet but I promise it wouldn’t get the drop on him. The Spark is vigilant.

Scientists managed to double the size of monkeys’ brains by injecting fetuses with human genes.

Our future overlords.

The study was carried out by researchers at the Max Planck Institute of Molecular Cell Biology and Genetics in Dresden, Germany, with colleagues at Japan’s Central Institute for Experimental Animals in Kawasaki and the Keio University in Tokyo.

The gene has been used in the past on mice and ferrets, with results showing that it causes an expanded neocortex in the animals, but its relevance for primate evolution was unclear until now.

A release about the study published by EurekAlert explains that the expansion of the human brain during evolution – specifically the neocortex – is linked to our cognitive abilities such as reasoning and language.

The findings, published in the journal Science, showed that the modified brains had nearly doubled in size approximately 100 days into gestation.

Oh for the love of God. WHY? Like Ian Malcomb said in Jurassic Park, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” I mean, we all know the endgame here, right? We’ve all seen Planet of the Apes. Sweet Jesus. As far as I’m concerned the researchers at the Max Planck Institute of Molecular Cell Biology and Genetics in Dresden, Germany and trheir buddies at Japan’s Central Institute for Experimental Animals in Kawasaki and the Keio University in Tokyo can go straight to hell.

Note: Seriously, messing with nature never ends well. Click here to read all about it. I’ve been to this place and recommend it highly.

I know, Elon Musk can be a bit of a tool. However, you have to admit the guy has an impressive resume. I mean, he founded PayPal, invented the Tesla, sent the first civilian manned mission to space, plans to microchip human brains with something called a Neuralink, read every single page of the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica at the age of 9, taught himself how to write computer code at the age of 10, and while at the University of Pennsylvania he double majored in Business and Physics. There’s a lot more but I’m leaking self-esteem by the second.

That said, perhaps Elon Musk’s greatest accomplishment took place a couple days ago when he posted the answer to the age on question on Twitter. Ladies and gentlemen, behold:

Makes perfect sense. Eggs were a thing back in dinosaur times. Dinosaur descendants eventually evolved into birds (as we all learned in Jurassic Park) thus, eggs came before chickens. Finally, we know. Thanks Elon Musk.

Holy Mother of God look at that gigantic gator that’s on the loose in Naples, Florida. Dude’s the size of a Toyota Prius. Prehistoric like you read about, man. Apparently he got flushed out of his home due to Hurricane Ita and is looking to devour a family of seven. Anywho, there he is. Chilling.

Yep, just random photos. Click and scroll for the randomness.

I saw a photo of this huge wolf the other day and was intrigued. I mean this guy looks like he weighs 200-pounds. Check him out, man.


Anyway, this led to my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied doing some research on how big wolves can grow to be, which led to the comparison of wolves and dogs. Here’s what we found . . .


Like many other wild animals, wolves give birth during a well-defined time of year – typically the Spring. This is important because it is much tougher for wolves to find enough food during the Winter than it is during the Spring, Summer or Fall. So, by giving birth in the spring, wolf mothers have plenty of time to raise their young before winter arrives. Cool, right?

On the other hand, dogs live alongside humans. This means they don’t have to catch their own food. Most dogs simply eat from a bowl on the kitchen floor. This means that dogs may breed at any time of year, as their puppies will have just as much food in the Winter as they will in the Spring, Summer or Fall.


Wolves and most other predators employ a consistent set of behaviors when trying to catch prey. Scientists call these behaviors the predatory sequence.

The predatory sequence for wolves begins when they start sneaking up on their prey. This is called Eye Stalking, which we’ve all seen taking place at local hangouts. The difference is when wolves get close enough they’ll start chasing the animal and try to grab it with their teeth, using something called a Catch Bite.

Once a wolf captures its prey, it will employ a crushing bite to subdue the animal. This is called a Kill Bite. Finally, once their prey is dead, they’ll begin using a Dissecting Bite to access edible portions of the carcass, sort of like me attacking a Cozy Burger.

However, humans have eliminated some of these steps in some dog breeds. Sometimes, humans have done this to make better pets, but they’ve also done so to make some dogs better at hunting, tracking or performing other tasks. Labrador Retrievers, for example, no longer have a Kill Bite. It’s been bred out of the breed. This helps ensure that when they retrieve a bird their owner has shot, they will carry it gently in their mouths.


Wolves are obviously wild animals who must fend for themselves. By contrast, dogs are domestic animals, who live alongside humans.

This means that when wolves are faced with a challenge, they must figure out a solution for themselves. But dogs find it easier to simply entice their human to help in these cases.

For example, if a wolf comes upon a locked door, he may paw and bite at the door to open it. If he’s unable to do so he’ll be out of luck. But if your dog encounters a locked door, he may paw at it for a moment but he’ll likely just try to get your attention, so you’ll open the door for him.

This means that wolves are more self-reliant than dogs but dogs probably live easier lives than wolves. I know my dog Sparky sure does.


Wolf puppies and dog puppies both have several similar traits. They both have floppy ears, big eyes and short snouts. These traits are thought to be an adaptation that encourages their parents to take care of them.

But wolves mature really quickly and their parents will stop caring for them as much. Accordingly, adult wolves lack these types of features. But dogs often retain these juvenile features into adulthood. That’s wild.

Scientists call this phenomenon Neoteny. This probably occurs in dogs because they continue to depend on humans (who are somewhat like their parents) for their entire lives. It may also be a reflection of human desires. Humans often think that floppy ears and big eyes are cute features, so breeders have tried to produce dogs with these traits.


Dogs come in a remarkable variety of sizes. Chihuahuas may only weigh 4 or 5-pounds, while Mastiffs and Great Danes may reach 150-pounds or more. But the average dog probably weighs about 30 to 50-pounds.

Wolves, on the other hand, are usually larger. Even the smallest Grey Wolves usually weigh about 50 to 75-pounds, and the largest examples may exceed 175-pounds in weight. like that bad boy up top. Wolves are also taller and longer than most dogs. Some wolves even measure more than 6-feet long from nose to tail.

The wolf’s long coat helps to make them look even larger than they are. This long coat not only helps to keep them warm, but it also helps them repel predators and threats too.

Note: I petted a wolf once and your hand literally disappears into its fur. Unbelievably thick.

Note 2: I actually had to look up the past tense of pet. I didn’t know if it was pet or petted. It’s petted.


Dogs and wolves both love meat, but they have vastly different diets. Wolves occasionally eat berries or other plant matter, but they primarily feed on large mammals. This includes deer, moose, elk and other large herbivores living alongside them. In fact, wolves living in areas without many large herbivores often struggle to find enough food.

But dogs have lived alongside humans for tens of thousands of years. During this time, they stopped hunting large animals and instead started eating human leftovers. This includes not only meat, but plenty of fruits, vegetables and grains too. Dogs certainly love meat, but most modern dog foods also contain plenty of plant-based foods too.

Scientists used to think that dogs were the direct descendants of Grey Wolves, but new research indicates that this thinking was wrong. Instead, wolves and dogs share a common ancestor, which makes them evolutionary cousins, rather than parent and child species. Who knew? Not I.

Still, even though they aren’t as closely related as we thought they are, they still share a lot of important similarities which makes the differences they have all the more interesting, at least to me.

So, there you go. Six differences between wolves and dogs. I hope you learned something.

Check out that Indian Flapshell Turtle, man. Dude looks like he fell into one of those cheese fountains at really tacky wedding receptions (sorry Heather and Chad). This guy is actually an extremely rare Albino Flapshell Turtle which has been spotted in the wild only once before. This type of turtle can also be found in other South Asian countries like Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh, and Myanmar. Seriously though, that turtle looks like it’s made of cheese. Anywho, Indian Flapshell Turtle.

NYTOn Saturday just past noon, Leonard Shoulders strolled up to a bus stop in the Belmont neighborhood of the Bronx. A handful of people stood around, waiting for their rides or looking down at their phones — an unremarkable scene.

But then a hole suddenly opened up on the sidewalk and Mr. Shoulders, 33, plunged into it. Stunned bystanders who rushed to the edge of the chasm faced a ghastly sight: Mr. Shoulders had dropped 12 to 15 feet into an underground vault teeming with rats.

“Rats crawling on him, he can’t move,” his brother, Greg White, told CBS New York. “He didn’t want to yell because he was afraid there were going to be rats inside his mouth.”

For about 30-minutes, Mr. Shoulders remained in the vault as firefighters tried to pull him out of the hole. Videos of the scene show him eventually being wheeled away on a stretcher by emergency workers. He suffered injuries to his head and arm, Mr. White said.

Cindy White, Mr. Shoulders’s mother, told NBC New York: “He’s traumatized. He said he went straight down, and he was falling, falling, but the debris was falling and hitting him in the head.”

Imagine this – you’re standing there on a crisp fall day, minding your own business, maybe checking your phone for messages or chatting up a homeless dude on the sidewalk, when suddenly you’re plunging straight down into the Depths of Hell. As you float downward into the darkness you have zero idea how far you’re going to fall, so you brace for the impact. Suddenly you land, but it’s a shockingly soft landing. You survived! But then, that soft, thick furry blanket under you begins to move. You’ve fallen onto a mass of teeming New York City sewer rats. Good God almighty that had to be horrifying. And how about Cindy White? She says her son is “traumatized.” Man, is she insightful or what?

Anyway, next time time you’re having a bad day remember that it could be worse – at least you’re not Leonard Shoulders.

Note: This has lawsuit written all over it, so here’s my question – Would you fall 12 to 15 feet into an underground vault teeming with rats and lay there for 30-minutes unti you were rescued for a couple million bucks?

Check out that Dwarf Kingfisher, man. Just adorable like you read about. Tiny and colorful, this little dude’s got it all. He resides in lowland forests, typically near streams or ponds, where he feeds upon insects, spiders, worms, crabs, fish, frogs, and lizards. Sadly, this beautiful little bird’s biggest threat is human pollution. That sucks man. Anywho, Dwarf Kingfisher.

Note: For more cool animals, type “Cool Animal of the Day” into the search box on the left.

I really like random, odd videos that make no sense and I know not why. I just do. One of my favorites is that weird video from Russia where this happened:

See? Hilarity. I know you smiled. Anywho, check out my latest find:

Don’t like it. Love it.

So this monstrosity was spotted in Missouri recently and was spun by something called an Orb Weaver Spider, which is apparently trying to catch a wandering child for supper. Good God almighty I’d hate to stumble into that thing whilst out strolling through the forest.

Check out those Frogmouths, man. Cuteness overload like you read about. The Frogmouths are a group of nocturnal birds that are found from the Indian Subcontinent across Southeast Asia to Australia and no, they are not owls. They’re named for their large flattened hooked bill and huge frog-like gape which they use to capture insects. They’re not great fliers, so they have to rely on the Frogmouth brains to survive. Bottom line, I think we can all agree they’re adorable. Anywho, Frogmouth.

A British wildlife sanctuary has been forced to separate five parrots who wouldn’t stop swearing at visitors. Keepers say the birds encouraged each other to keep cursing, and had to be moved from the main outdoor aviary.  

Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie were removed from view this week, The Associated Press reports. They recently joined the Lincolnshire Wildlife Centre’s colony of 200 African gray parrots in August, were put in quarantine together and quickly overwhelmed the staff with their naughty language.  

“We are quite used to parrots swearing, but we’ve never had five at the same time,” the center’s chief executive, Steve Nichols, told AP. “Most parrots clam up outside, but for some reason these five relish it.” 

Nichols told BBC News that the parrots “swear to trigger reaction or a response,” so seeing people shocked or laughing only encourages the birds to curse more. 

“With the five, one would swear and another would laugh and that would carry on,” he said. 

“I’m hoping they learn different words within colonies,” Nichols added. “But if they teach the others bad language and I end up with 250 swearing birds, I don’t know what we’ll do.” 

How about these birds, huh? Just cursing like sailors at their animal sanctuary. Not like most parrots that clam up when they go outside, man. These guys relish in it. And they’re teaching each other, which makes it even cooler.

But listen, we all know what happened here, right? I read that the five birds were brought in by seperate owners and quarantined together for a couple weeks. One of them (I’m guessing Billy) knew some cuss words and taught the others. Then, when the group was put out in the zoo and started cussing at people those people started cussing back, inadvertantly teaching the parrots new curse words. It’s the age old cussing parrot problem.

Anyway, Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie, just ruffling feathers like you read about.

PS- Free the cursing parrots!

A former student of mine recently asked me if she should buy a dog. I counseled her about the responsibilties involved and wished her the best. That said, it got me to thinking. As most of you know, my dog Sparky means everything to me. He came along when I needed him most and is my best friend. He and I have been through a lot together, a lot of great times but also a lot of grief and unimaginable loss. Sparky has been right there through it all, and believe me when I say he can read my emotions better than anybody. He knows when I need him.

So, after some thought, here are my thoughts on buying a puppy.

If you can’t imagine being awakened by your dog in the middle of the night because he heard a noise and is trying to protect you, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine letting your dog stay in the house with you and never be chained outside, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine cleaning up after your dog when they’re sick, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine wiping their butt and cleaning their fur when your dog is having digestive problems, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine listening to what your dog is trying to tell you, I mean really listening, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine getting up at 3:00am and letting your dog out because he needs to go and waiting 20-minutes for him to find the right spot to do his business, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine getting under the covers and holding your older dog because he’s having a bad day and he’s shaking and scared, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine helping your older dog into your car or onto your bed because he doesn’t have the strength to jump like he used to, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine getting up in the middle of the night to take your older dog for a ride because it’s the only thing that will calm his nerves, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine learning how to make chicken in a crock pot because your older dog has to eat healthy food due to his bouts with Pancreatitus, don’t do it.

If you’re not ready to spend money to help your older dog live a longer and more healthy life, don’t do it.

If you can’t imagine loving a dog like I love mine, don’t do it.

The Spark was an energetic, full of life young dog just a few years ago. Now, though he’s still going strong, he’s become a little grumpier and his hair is turning gray. The famous little dynamo is slowing down.

If you can’t comprehend the decision I’ll have to make one day, a decision that will be best for Sparky, don’t do it.


Because, you know, this guy . . .

New York Post: A Thai teen lived out every man’s worst nightmare after a python sunk its fangs into his penis while he was on the john.

“I looked down and saw there was a snake hanging in the toilet,” Siraphop Masukarat, 18, told Viral Press. His near-serpent circumcision occurred Tuesday, approximately 12 miles north of Bangkok, after the reptile allegedly infiltrated the plumbing.

Masukarat recalls watching smartphone videos on the toilet when all of sudden he felt a searing pain in his nether region. The university student looked down to discover a nightmarish sight — a 4-foot python with its jaws clamped around the tip of his penis.

Good God Almighty that’s horrifying. Listen man, I’m not even going to try to make fun of this. Merely reading the story makes me wince. He’s lucky it wasn’t a King Cobra I guess?

PS- I was going to make a sucking the venom out joke but I couldn’t pull the trigger.



Can you tell what animal they belong to without looking at the caption? I believe you cannot. Well, maybe a couple. Click and scroll.

Everyone knows I love a good conspiracy theory. Hey, I went down a YouTube rabbit hole one night and came away convinced that the movie Back to the Future predicted the 9/11 attacks. Seriously, I know that 99.9% of this stuff is BS but it nevertheless fascinates me endlessly. That said, the latest conspiracy I came across takes the cake, man, and that is the theory that birds aren’t real.

I’m not kidding.

According to the Birds Aren’t Real official website, the CIA took out 12-billion birds because directors within the organization were annoyed that birds had been dropping fecal matter on their car windows. The targets were eradicated between 1959 and 1971 with specially altered B-52 bombers stocked with poison. They were then supplanted with avian-like robots that could be used to surveil Americans.

Sounds feasible, amirite?

Seriously, you need to click on that link. Wild stuff indeed. Here’s more from the Birds Aren’t Real movement:

In 1953 Allen Dulles was made the first civilian director of the Central Intelligence Agency and made it his mission to ramp up the surveillance program; hiding cameras in thousands of locations and ordering his staff to plant them in areas that would be impossible to detect. He knew that the possibilities for this camera program were endless, and on April 15, 1956 met with President Dwight D. Eisenhower and proposed a plan that would put cameras in the sky. Dulles knew that the sky was the future for his surveillance program, as you could truly track someone with a moving camera – much easier than having to switch between cameras on street corners and hidden in storm drains. One camera in the sky could do the work of hundreds on the ground. Eisenhower approved the initial idea and asked him to return when he had figured out how to make it possible. Dulles left the oval office and immediately flew to an undisclosed location, meeting with various members of his inner circle, to discuss the plan in more intricate detail. It is believed that the initial plan for killing all of the birds and replacing them with flying cameras was thought up one weekend in May of 1956. Dulles and his team hated birds with a passion, and were heard on many occasions calling them,” flying slugs” and,” the scum of the skies,” as they would often poop on their cars in the parking lot of the C.I.A. headquarters, and quite frankly all over the D.C. Metro area. I believe this was one of the driving forces that led Dulles to not only implement robots into the sky, but actually replace birds in the process. They did not need to kill all of the birds, and could have launched a quarter of the robot birds that they did, but the pigeons in D.C. at the time were absolutely ruthless. They were eating very well, as people were feeding them much more in public parks and on the street. This in turn created huge amounts of pigeon feces, that would inevitably find its way to the windshield of many men and women- all of whom grew to not only hate pigeons, but all birds. In a stolen transcript from an ex-CIA deputy, she says,” Yeah, the higher ups were so annoyed that birds had been dropping fecal matter on their car windows that they vowed to wipe out every single flying feathered creature in North America.”

In this meeting they sought to kill two birds with one stone and remove all birds from the United States (thus eliminating their fecal problem), but also replacing these birds with billions of sophisticated robot look a likes capable of mimicking real birds in every way. Dulles and his team wanted to create the greatest surveillance system ever imagined, with the capability of tracking someone on foot, in a vehicle, or even in their personal home.

Listen man, I may never watch those cute little finches I feed outside my living room window the same way again. Same for those sneaky little so-called hummingbirds. I had no freakin’ idea they were all spying on me all this time. And I must admit that although I’ve seen many a dead bird, I never actually cut one open to look for cameras and microphones and whatnot.

To conclude, next time you see a bird (which will probably be any second now because they’re everywhere), take a closer look and check to see if it’s looking j-u-u-u-s-t a little too closely at you.

PS- Listen, I’m not naive. I’m pretty sure these guys are having fun with this and that’s cool. However, if you don’t think I’m ordering a Birds Aren’t Real t-shirt you’re out of your gourd.

PPS- Sparky has always hated birds with a passion, much worse than cats, rabbits or anything else. Sparky knows.

PPPS- I need to call my friend with the pet parakeet post haste.

Check out that Giant Black Slug man. Dude is aptly named for it is indeed a big, black slug. The Black Slug is a large terrestrial gastropod mollusk in the family Arionidae, but I’m sure you knew that. These boys lack shells like other terrestrial mollusks (such as snails). Without such shells, slugs produce unappetizing mucus, that may also contain toxins to deter predators. That’s disgusting man. Anyhoo, Giant Black Slug.

Everybody chill. Most sharks are not dangerous to humans — people are not part of their natural diet. Despite their scary reputation, sharks rarely ever attack humans and would much rather feed on fish and marine mammals. Only about a dozen of the more than 300 species of sharks have been involved in attacks on humans. Hell, you’re more likely to get killed by a vending machine than a shark. True story. That said, here are the sharks that have been responsible for the most attacks on humans. Enjoy!

Three sharks are tied for 12th . . .

12. Shortfin Mako – 10 attacks on record.

12. Lemon – 10 attacks on record.

12. White Tip – 10 attacks on record.

11. Blacktip Reef – 11 attacks on record.

10. Blue – 13 attacks on record.

9. Bronze Whaler – 15 attacks on record.

8. Spinner – 16 attacks on record.

7. Hammerhead – 17 attacks on record.

6. Wobbegong – 28 attacks on record.

5. Sand Tiger – 29 attacks on record.

4. Blacktip – 30 attacks on record.

3. Bull – 100 attacks on record.

2. Striped Tiger – 111 attacks on record.

And in the #1 position we have . . .

Great White – 314 attacks on record.


Birds don’t live in their nests unless they are babies or if it’s a cold night and the adult parents cuddle up to the babies to keep them warm. Instead, around dusk they find a branch, grab it with their clawed feet and squat down. These ‘passerines’ have special flexor tendons in their legs that automatically tighten onto the branch. So long as their legs are bent they are physically locked onto the branch — and this action takes no muscular work at all.

Source – Safari park baboons were seen armed with knives, screwdrivers and a chainsaw amid fears pranksters gave them weapons to wreck cars.

The primates at Knowsley safari park, Merseyside, are long known to pounce on anyone pausing in the enclosure and ripping off a windscreen wiper or mirror.

Workers now fear they are being armed with the lethal weapons “for a laugh” by visitors to bolster their attacks and the apes have even been seen rummaging around toolboxes themselves.

One park worker told The Sunday Times: “We’re not sure if they are being given weapons by some of the guests who want to see them attack cars, or if they’re fishing them out of pick-up trucks and vans.

“They will literally go into people’s toolboxes and carry them around. One of the baboons was seen lugging around a chainsaw.”

Meh. No big deal. We’ve seen Covid-19, social injustice, rampant racism, climate crisis, wildlife conservation, world hunger, Australia burn to the ground, we found out aliens really exist and I haven’t seen live music since March 3rd so this is nothing. Monkeys with knives, screwdrivers and chainsaws? Bring it on, primates. It’s every man for himself now. I will gut you and let my dogs Sparky and Lilly feast on your remains. It’s a brave new world and I plan to be one of the survivors so you can go straight to hell.

PS- What sort of jackass thinks giving a baboon a chainsaw is funny? I wish he’d have been the first to get carved up by a crazy monkey. That would have been super.

Listen, everyone knows I root for the animal in videos like this. As far as I’m concerned if you’re hunting an animal and it gets you first I say good for the animal. Bullfighting? Nothing like a good old fashioned goring I say. As for this guy cruising through an alligator’s territory, I was sort of hoping to see that gator’s face appear onscreen when the kayaker went under water. Alas, it did not, but a guy can hope, right? Still, dude got the fear of gator put into him and that’s not bad.

PS- For your viewing pleasure I added some cool videos where the animals win. You’re welcome.

In this Oct. 1, 2018 photo, an alligator floats in the Caernarvon Canal in Caernarvon, La. With prices less than half the usual amount for alligator skins, the recent wild harvest in Louisiana was slow. Totals aren’t yet in, but the head of the state’s alligator program estimates that about 18,000 were taken from the wild. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Well, hell. We’re all doomed.

Albino Turtles, also known as Rhinoclemmys Pulcherrima or the Painted Wood Turtle, is rare and thrives in just a few areas around the world. It’s commonly found on the west coast of Mexico and Central America. They eat grass, wildflowers, fruits, insects, worms and fish. These little dudes can live up to 20-years, but sadly the number of living albino turtles has been decreasing over the years. They are often sold on the black market and when held in captivity their lifespan is only one year. Their coloring makes them an easy target for predators, but luckily they have a really hard shell which can usually protect them. Sadly, Albino Turtles have a problem mating because their peers consider them an outcast. That sucks. Anyhoo, Albino Turtle.