Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

Awww.

PS- There are no ugly dogs. Period.

Of course, not all dogs can be perfect like some . . .

They call him The Spark.

Some headlines just write themselves, ya know?

Alabama investigators are currently searching for a man who allegedly kept an “attack squirrel” inside his apartment and fed the caged animal methamphetamine in order to maintain its aggressive behavior.

Since Mickey Paulk’s Athens apartment was searched on Monday morning, the caged squirrel has been released into the wild, Limestone County Sheriff’s Office’s Public Information Officer Stephen Young confirms to PEOPLE.

According to Young, officers responded to a report on Monday at approximately 8:30 a.m. that Paulk, 35, was allegedly keeping an “attack squirrel” caged inside his home and feeding it meth.

After obtaining a search warrant, Young says animal control and narcotics officers searched the home, located in the 21000 block of Piney Chapel Road, where they seized a number of illegal items, including the squirrel, meth, drug paraphernalia, ammunition and body armor.

First of all, I’m shocked that Mickey Paulk was in possession of illegal items. Dude looks like a model citizen. Secondly, owning an attack squirrel seems like an odd choice, amirite? Seems like a mountain goat, a saltwater crocodile, or a honey badger would be better choices. Maybe a komodo dragon. Anywho, glad the little tree rat is free to roam the forest terrorizing forest creatures and whatnot. Those meth hangovers are a bitch.

PS- When I was in college at Ohio State guy I know had an attack rat. He’d turn that rodent loose and it would come straight at you. Horrifying.

Not dead! NOT dead!

You’ve heard of the Walking Dead, but North Carolina officials are warning locals about the crawling undead. The state’s Department of Parks and Recreation has posted a photo on its Facebook page of a “zombie snake,” a reptile known for defending itself by lying on its back and pretending to be dead.

The Eastern Hognose, also known as a Puff Adder, is found as far south as Florida and Texas and as far north as Minnesota, according to ABC News.

Some have claimed the snake can shoot venom as far as 25-feet.

Department spokeswoman Katie Hall was quick to defend the snakes to USA Today. 

“We love hognose snakes,” she said. “They put on this really dramatic display, but it’s kind of adorable.”

Hey Katie Hall, I have some advice for you. Any possum playing dead serpent that can shoot venom 25-feet shouldn’t be compared to a Yorkshire Terrier puppy. Good God woman. Look at that thing, just pretending to be deceased only to pop up and shoot venom in your eyeball like a damned demon from hell. Kind of adorable my ass.

Chills, man.

Check out that Dik-Dik, man. Adorable. This little dude lives in the bushlands of eastern and southern Africa. They’re tiny and stand about 12–15 inches at the shoulder, are 19–27 inches long, weigh 6.6–13.2 pounds and can live for up to 10-years. They can also scurry at nearly 30 mph, which is pretty damn speedy. Dik-Diks are named for the alarm calls of the females. In addition to the females’ alarm call, both the male and female make a shrill, whistling sound. These calls alert other Dik-Diks to predators. Check out the videos below to see and hear some real honest-to-goodness Dik-Diks. Anywho, Dik-Dik.

Holy . . .

Raccoon Dogs are terrorizing a village in central England after escaping from their pen in Nottinghamshire, according to news reports.

Raccoon dogs, also called Tanukis, look like a combination of a dog and a raccoon, but are neither dog nor raccoon, however they are part of the canid family, which includes wolves and dogs.

Shortly after escaping their pen, one of the loose dogs was photographed and reportedly attacked a goat.

Police are warning residents to watch out for the animals and to stay away from them if spotted because they are “potentially dangerous if approached as they are not domesticated,” Nottinghamshire police officials said, according to CNN.

Nottinghamshire resident Mandy Marsh told the Independent that one of the escaped animals attacked her pet goat and pony.

“I heard such a terrifying noise like I had never heard before. It was screaming. We ran out and this animal – we now know it’s a raccoon dog – was trying to attack our goat, Marsh said.

“The raccoon dog was trying to kill it. It was absolutely crazy. It was hissing and screaming and snarling. It was going absolutely mad.”

Sweet Mother of God that’s a horrific looking beast. Raccoon Dog? Really? Hell, this opens up a whole new world. What’s next, Wolf Cows? Hummingbats? The mind reels. And you have to bring your A Game, goat. And any self-respecting billy would have head-butted the hell out of that Raccoon Dog. Embarrassing really.

PS- My parents had a couple miniature burrows named Pancho and Lefty that were not to be trifled with. A couple coyotes made the mistake of harassing Pancho and got kicked into oblivion.

PPS- Sparky would tear that Raccoon Dog to shreds.

 

Four tiger poachers were killed in a mangrove forest in Bangladesh on Wednesday during a shootout with police, officials said. The alleged poachers opened fire at Rapid Action Battalion, the anti-terrorism unit of the Bangladesh Police, in the Sundarbans, the world’s biggest mangrove forest, after they were questioned, AFP reported.

The four men, who were found dead along with guns and ammunition on the boat, were identified as members of a gang that allegedly poaches Bengal tigers and Irrawaddy dolphins, officials said.

“These gangs have become a major threat to wildlife conservation,” Tajul Islam Islam, a spokesperson for the Rapid Action Battalion, said.

Let this be a warning to all Bengal Tiger poachers in Bangladesh – try and poach a Bengal Tiger, Irrawaddy Dolphin or any other endangered species in Bangladesh and you will be hunted down by the Rapid Action Battalion and you will be murdered. Why? Because the Rapid Action Battalion gives no damns.

PS- I had to find out what the Rapid Action Battalion looked like. I was not disappointed.

In the wild there have been no fatal attacks on humans by Orcas (Killer Whales) and only one reported bite. In captivity there have been several non-fatal and fatal attacks on humans since the 1970s.

 

Source – Alabama Public Television has refused to show the premiere of the 22nd season of Arthur because it features a gay wedding.

Entitled “Mr Ratburn and the Special Someone,” the episode features the same-sex marriage of Arthur’s third-grade teacher, Mr Ratburn.

“It would be a violation of trust to broadcast the episode,” the director of programming at APT, Mike McKenzie, told NBC NewsMcKenzie said that in April, PBS alerted APT and other stations about “possible viewer concerns about the content of the program.” After watching the episode, McKenzie and others at APT made the decision not to broadcast it.

We can always depend on Alabama to bring the comedy, amirite? Only the folks in the Heart of Dixie would ban the viewing of a fictional cartoon rat wedding. Can’t let a TV episode of animated talking rodents turn our kids gay, now can we? Roll Tide! Seriously, it’s OK to show old episodes of Bugs Bunny blowing Daffy Duck’s head off with a shotgun but we can’t show a fake gay animal marriage on television. I mean, aren’t we past all this bullshit by now? Hell, didn’t Ellen come out in 1997 or something? Good Lord. You love who you love. Who cares?

PS- I wonder if they show The Muppets? I mean, we all know about Bert and Ernie, right?

PPS- The video below is for all Alabamians who were denied viewing a couple gay rats getting hitched. You’re welcome.

PPPS- Check out the photo under the video to see what a real live homophobic, prejudiced, discriminatory person looks like. Hint: He looks just like you’d expect him to look.

Mike McKenzie.

AOL- Footage of a dutiful beluga whale returning an expensive gadget to its rightful human owner is making waves online.

Strangely enough, iPhone owner Ina Mansika and her friends were actually searching for the specific whale, known as Angel — which attained celebrity status weeks ago as a suspected Russian navy spy when it turned up in open waters around Hammerfest, Norway, wearing a harness — when the encounter occurred.

Angel hasn’t been behaving like a typical Beluga as she’s been letting people scratch her nose and chin and generally behaving like she’s having s great time.

Mansika told AOL that she and her pals laid down on a dock for a better chance to see the infamous Beluga and “hopefully get the chance to pat it” when her phone slipped out of her jacket pocket and into the ocean.

Seconds later, the considerate sea creature dove down and appeared at the surface of the water with the gadget in its mouth, to the shock of onlookers.

Check out Angel. First she defects from the damn communists and now she’s returning her fan’s cellphones, all the while with a smile on her face. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times – in 100-years we’ll know stuff about the intelligence of animals that would astonish us if we knew it today. Amazing. Animals, man.

Check out that Meat-Eating Harp Sponge, man. Dude looks more like a candelabra to me but whatevs. This guy will snare and slowly digest a passing crustacean before they know it. This bizarre creature had never been observed by human eyes before 2000, when a team from the Monterey Bay Research  Aquarium Institute in California took a remotely operated submersible into 2-mile deep waters off the central California coast (video below). Wild looking creature, man. Anywho, Meat-Eating Harp Sponge.

[type “Cool Animal of the Day” into the search box to find more cool animals]

Image result for harp sponge

Nothing to see here. I’m just a harmless plant. Move along.

May 8 (UPI) — A Chinese doctor shared video of the unusual cause of a patient’s ear discomfort — a spider building a nest inside his head.

The video filmed at a hospital in Yangzhou, Jiangsu province, shows the inside of an ear belonging to a patient identified by the surname Li.

Li came into the hospital complaining of discomfort in his ear and the doctor looked inside to discover a small spider was building a nest inside the man’s ear canal.

The doctor said the spider was too small and fast to be grabbed using tools, but hospital staff were able to use water to flush the arachnid out of the patient’s ear.

Not much to see here, just a freakin’ spider building a nest inside a man’s head. Next time you feel a little tingle in your old earhole don’t worry about it. It’s probably just a spider setting up shop in there. No biggie. Now excuse me while I go spray some Industrial Maximum Strength Raid in my ears.

PS- What the hell, man? Don’t they have Q-Tips in China?

Check out that Hellbender, man. That’s the most glorious name these ears have heard. It got its name from settlers who “thought it was a creature from hell where it’s bent on returning.” That’s awesome, man. It’s also called the Spotted Water Gecko but that name sucks. This guy lives in the eastern part of North America, including southern Ohio, and has been known to live to 50 in captivity. Hellbenders have been known to eat crawdads, fish and the occasional kid at the old swimmin’ hole.

PS- A relative called the River Dragon was found in Japan and was, incredibly, over 200-years old.

PPS- I used to go with my Grandpa to check his trot lines when I was a kid and he’d occasionally hook a Mud Puppy, which was sort of a smaller version of this beast. Anyway, seeing that slimy eel with legs would freak the bejesus out of me every time. Grandpa would just laugh and dangle the thing in front of me to taunt me. Good times.

May 3 (UPI) — A tourist at a cabin in Tennessee captured photos of an unusual fellow visitor — a black bear relaxing in the rental’s hot tub. Hannah Elizabeth Strickland captured photos Friday morning of three bears wandering around the rental property in Gatlinburg. The photos show one of the bears settling into the hot tub on the cabin’s back porch for a relaxing soak.

The three bears eventually wandered off on their own.

Check out my guy here. Dude just chillin’ like a villain and taking over the place like a boss. Your average bear would be acting like a savage and looting the place for food, but not my man here. He saw the hot tub and took advantage of it for some spa treatment. Bro probably got a medi pedi, practiced some restorative yoga and went back to his cave for some aromatherapy afterwards.

Bears, man. Gotta love ’em.

PS- Anytime I post a bear video I’m reminded of one of the greatest photo of all-time, the bear falling out of the tree. The look on the bear’s face is perfect.

Yep, that’s three alright.

New York Post- A bizarre snake with a third eye smack dab in the middle of its head was found this week by park rangers on a highway in Darwin.

Members of the Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife found the juvenile 15-inch-long belly-crawler on the Arnhem Highway near the town of Humpty Doo, the wildlife agency wrote in a Facebook post.

First off, of course the three-eyed snake was found in Australia, and of course it was found in Darwin. You can’t make this stuff up, kids. Secondly, a town named Humpty Doo is so Australia it hurts. Finally, and I probably should have mentioned this first, we’re all doomed. If a three-eyed snake isn’t a symbol of the end of times I don’t know what is. Have a good weekend everybody!

Check out this beauty. The little dude is a Magnificent Spider, otherwise known as a Ordgarius Magnificus, but I’m sure you knew that. According to the Australian Museum it isn’t dangerous to humans, so feel free to pick it up and play with it at your leisure. Magnificent Spiders are often found in New South Wales and Queensland and can grow up to 2.5 cm in length. Unlike most spiders they don’t spin a web, they just use a sticky silk orb to catch their prey. That’s diabolical, man. Anywho, Magnificent Spider.

The female Magnificent Spider has distinctive markings on its body. The body is white with two bright yellow blobs on its abdomen, and a red-coloured spots

A new species of crab that’s the size of a quarter with big, bug eyes has been discovered and it is freaky as all holy hell. Scientists are calling the crab “the strangest crab that’s ever lived” and that would be 100% accurate. This dude had a mismatch of body parts, like a Frakencrab or something. Scientists say it was no bigger than a quarter with bent claws, big eyes, an exposed tail and leg-like mouth parts. Wait. What? Anywho, Callichimaera Perplexa.

Dude’s just scrolling The Gram like a boss.

PS- Bonus video of smart animals below.

Paris, TX- A runaway cow led Texas police on a miles-long chase through city streets and was caught on video hurdling over a pedestrian.

The Paris Police Department said the young cow made a run for it while being loaded into a sale barn and police were called to help chase the runaway animal.

A police dashboard camera recorded the cow running at a high speed through the streets, and running directly into a pedestrian. The man was knocked to the ground, and the cow jumped over him. The man wasn’t seriously injured, police said.

Police said the cow managed to give officers the slip and was on the loose for more than 24-hours before it was hit by a car and killed.

Well, that article certainly took a dark turn at the end, didn’t it? It went from being a heartwarming story of a fearless young cow escaping slaughter to lead a life on the run, roaming the fields and plowing over unsuspecting pedestrians to a story about a cow’s grisly death at the hands of a family in a 2003 Subaru Outback. That’s way too sad, man. Anyway, I know that 24-hours was worth it. Sleep well, young cow. Sleep well.

PS- Watch the video. Dude gets absolutely trucked.

So these two rangers over in the Congo rescued a couple orphaned gorillas and now they’re all besties. The gorillas, both females, have taken to walking around like their heroes, which is sort of cute. I think.

Note: Why is an upright gorilla less intimidating than a gorilla on all fours? Those two look like a couple construction workers on break, man.

A Minnesota sheriff’s office encountered a couple of true road hogs earlier this week.

A driver who was pulled over for having trouble staying in his lane turned out to be operating the vehicle with a 250-pound pig on his lap, Sgt. Jason Foster told Minneapolis news station KMSP-TV.

In the post, the sheriff’s office noted that its officers have encountered plenty of drivers distracted by things like cellphones, food or changing the radio station, but catching someone driving with a lap pig “was a first.” 

The man’s erratic driving was apparently caused by the pig leaning against the steering wheel.

Foster told the TV station that the man had a pig on his lap because he was moving to another part of the state and didn’t want the pig to get cold on the journey. The sergeant let the driver off with a warning.

Listen, I have no beef with this driver. Just take a look at that guy hamming it up in the photo. Can’t blame him for hogging the front seat. He’s adorable. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep him warm. And kudos to the cops for letting the driver off with a warning. That was quite a twist in the tale, man. But really, who amongst us hasn’t driven with a pig on our lap?
PS- Try as I might I couldn’t come up with a “pig in a blanket” line even though this story involved keeping a pig warm. I’m off my game, man.

Gotta respect the commitment.

Not today, snake boy.

So some guy on the worldwide interweb posted a list of all the animals his grandfather has brought home over the years and it is AMAZING. I mean, I’ma n animal lover but this guy is next level stuff. Grandpa has to be a pretty cool cat in my book.

Beautiful.

Most of the time, geese and ducks sleep at night right on the water. Eagles and hawks aren’t a threat because they also sleep during the night, and any predator swimming after the birds would send vibrations through the water, waking them up. A few geese stay up as sentinels, watching for enemies.