Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

Take a look at that Bullet Ant, man. The Bullet Ant is badass. Why? Because the world’s most painful insect sting belongs to the Bullet Ant, that’s why. It is also the world’s largest ant, and that bite just happens to be venomous. Yowza. A worker ant can be over 1-inch long and looks like a wingless wasp. These little dudes have reddish-brown hair and are much hairier than other related ants. Bullet ants are most likely to be found in Central and South America. Finally, why is it called a Bullet Ant, you ask? From the shot of intense pain that it delivers, that’s why. Feels like a damn bullet. It’s sting can also produce agonizing effects in the recipient for up to 24-hours. According to the Schmidt Sting Pain Index (I included a chart below because that’s what high quality blogs do) the Bullet Ant is rated at a Level 4, the highest level of freakin’ pain. Sweet Mother. Anywho, Bullet Ant.


Not surprised.

From Florida, of course:

A man says he was letting his dog outside in Florida when a large black bear attacked him.

Andrew Meunier tells local news outlets that he let his dog out of his home about 11 p.m. Tuesday and spotted the 4-foot bear standing next to him when he stepped outside. He said he struggled to get away and managed to get back through his front door. A 911 call revealed that Meunier suffered a minor facial laceration from the bear attack. He sought treatment at a local hospital and received 41 stitches.

“I’m just happy to be alive,” Meunier said. “It could’ve been a totally different story.”

Please. A 4-foot bear is large? People in Canada, Alaska, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho are laughing their asses off right now. Also some people in Ohio and this guy for sure. Hell, an 11-year old is 4-feet tall. Give me a break. Also Andrew Meunier, where was your dog when this happened? Did he run off like his owner? Sparky would’ve taken a 4-foot bear down in mere seconds. Just ask that coyote he tangled with a couple years ago. Floridians, man.

PS- That dude looks like Ben Roethlisberger after yesterday’s game with the Jaguars.

Check out the Savannah Cat, man. Majestic like you read about. Savannah Cats are a cat breed that was started in the 1980’s. They were bred to give the impression of grandeur and dignity like a wild cat with a cheetah type appearance, and damned if it didn’t work. As you can see they have really expressive eyes, vibrant colors, huge ears and really long legs. They can live up to 20-years and can grow to nearly 20-inches tall. And get this – people have them as pets. Yes, they’re domesticated. In fact, they’re the world’s tallest domestic cat. That’s cool. Anywho, Savannah Cat.

Check out the Puss Caterpillar, man. Dude looks like somebody’s hairpiece or maybe Trump’s actual hair. Here’s the problem, though. Although he looks as cute as a button, this little bro is the most venomous caterpillar in the good old U.S. of A. It’s bite can cause throbbing pain, burning, rash, swelling, nausea, abdominal pain, headaches, and shock. Hey, I’m no doctor but that doesn’t sound good at all. But anyway, kids? Don’t pick one up. Fun Fact: The Puss Caterpillar is also known affectionately as the “Toxic Toupee.” That’s cool. Fun Fact #2: It got it’s name because somebody thought it looked like a housecat. Anywho, Puss Caterpillar.

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Well, they basically stick their snouts up through the water, let the water freeze around it, and stay there until it melts. I kid you not. Check it:

Baby Alpacas come directly from the Alpacas in the High Plains of Peru, and live at an altitude of more than 13,000-feet.  Baby Alpacas eat . . . ah, what the hell, nobody cares. I just wanted to post photos of adorable Baby Alpacas.

PS- If you don’t like Baby Alpacas you’re a bad, bad person.

Key Biscayne: In Central America, iguanas are a delicacy. They’re actually farmed for food. So, a gentleman in Key Biscayne, though originally from Central America, began picking up iguanas that appeared to be dead on the road that had fallen out of trees. They had turned gray and were not moving at all and were very cold to the touch. He put them into his vehicle. Unfortunately, the vehicle warmed up, and the iguanas started coming back to life. They started getting up and running around in the car, causing an accident on Route 913.

Tough day for this guy, huh? All the dude was thinking about was inviting his friends over for a big Iguana barbeque and the next thing you knows his 1973 Ford Pinto is being ravaged by Zombie Iguanas like you read about. That had to be just pure terror, man, sorta like when the deer came back to life in Tommy Boy. On a related note, Florida, man. Don’t get too close to the animals.


Dude. Shake it off.

(CNN) There’s an Iguanocalypse in Florida, or at least that’s what it looks like judging from the photos worried Floridians are posting all over social media. Because of the cold temperatures sweeping the nation, iguanas are dropping out of trees like overripe mangoes, littering the ground in an apparent state of rigor mortis.

One tiny detail, though: They’re probably not dead. They are, however, literally frozen.

Emily Maple, the reptile keeper at the Palm Beach County Zoo, told CNN affiliate WPEC the cold-blooded animals get “cold stunned” — that is, they basically freeze — if the temperature gets below 45º Fahrenheit.

“If it’s just for a day or two they’ll just get to where they’re completely frozen in time. They’re still able to breathe. They’re still able to do bodily functions just very slow,” said Maple.

Let me get this straight. When things start to go sideways, iguanas literally shut down their body and just wait it out in a state of suspended animation? That’s whack, man. And who knew iguanas were such wussies? 45°? Hell, up here in Ohio we have animals running around all over the place outside at -8° like it ain’t no thing. Get your shit together, Florida animals. You’re embarrassing yourself.

PS- An iguana falling on your head would be sort of traumatic, no? Head on a swivel, Floridians. 

PPS- Here’s how true badass animals handle the cold. 

The Hall & Oates of Muskippers?

Photographer Daniel Biber from Hilzingen, Germany was there when a bunch of Starlings began to swirl and twist, most likely the result of a predator such as a falcon or hawk being in the vicinity since they do this as a protective instinct. It was by coincidence they resemble a giant bird. We think.

Also, a large group of Starlings is called a Murmuration. That’s cool.

Check out that Hercules Beetle Larvae, man. Dude is butt-ugly like you read about, unless you’re another Hercules Beetle Larvae and then probably think he’s quite lovely. This bad boy ends up being a species of Rhinoceros Beetle native to the rainforests of Central America and South America. Check out the cool time-lapse video below to see what he looks like all growed up and whatnot. Oh, and not to alarm anybody or anything but monster can freaking fly. Anywho, Hercules Beetle Larvae.

Science Now: The origins of the Himalayan yeti myth have been revealed at last — thanks to science. Big furry animals, larger than humans and capable of walking on two legs do indeed roam the highest mountains on Earth, according to a study published Tuesday in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, a biological sciences journal.

But they’re not yetis. They’re bears.

After analyzing the DNA of nine purported yeti specimens, scientists found that five of the preserved “yetis” were in fact Tibetan brown bears, two were Himalayan brown bears, and one — a relic which looked like a fossilized hand — originally belonged to an Asian black bear.

The ninth specimen — part of a tooth belonging to a stuffed yeti in the collection at the Reinhold Messner Mountain Museum, turned out to be from a dog.

Man, this has got to be a historic letdown of epic proportions for the mythical folklore crowd, amirite? All those stories we’ve heard for years about hairy man-beasts roaming the Himalayas and terrorizing the countryside, only to find out they’re damn bears. And a dog. Bad day for ape-like entities I guess?

What’s next, we find out the Sasquatch is really a damn Irish Wolfhound? Good God.

PS- I’m not sure I’m buying it. This Proceedings of the Royal Society B sounds shady as hell.




A Cama is a hybrid between a male camel and a female llama and has been produced by artificial insemination at the Camel Reproduction Centre in Dubai. Yes kids, Dubai has a Camel Reproduction Centre. Why does a Cama have to be reproduced through artificial insemination, you ask? Because an adult camel can weigh up to 6-times as much as a llama and that could make things a little awkward for the llama if you get my drift. Anywho, Cama.

Shabani is a gorilla that lives in Japan. He’s a beast with the ladies, who love him for his brooding good looks and animal magnetism. Shabani spends his days flexing, staring thoughtfully into the distance, and enjoying bona fide celebrity status at the Higashiyama Zoo. He’s Dutch-born, Australian-bred, and now resides in lady gorilla’s dreams worldwide. Word on the street is that this dude is wild. Shabani, man. Check him out.

[click on a photo to scroll through Shabani’s awesomeness]

Name a better Christmas gift than a puppy. You can’t.

Love. It. Click photo and scroll, ya filthy animal.*

*Home Alone reference.

The Bearded Fireworm looks like a big, cute, hairy caterpillar on steroids. One of those big, cute, hairy caterpillars you shouldn’t touch because it’s horribly venomous and will sting the bejesus out of you. The Bearded Fireworm has hollow, toxic bristles which will puncture your skin. Bearded Fireworms come from rocky areas around the Caribbean and Mediterranean. Most of them scarcely reach 4-inches long, but some can get to over a foot in length. Anywho, Bearded Fireworm.

Sea Robins are a family of bottom-feeding fish, and they are the superheroes of the fish game. They get their name from their large pectoral fins, which, when swimming, open and close like a bird’s wings in flight. The large surface area of the fins also permits the fish to glide short distances above the water surface like a flying fish. Sea Robins have an unusually solid skull, and many species also possess armored plates on their bodies.  When caught, they make a croaking noise similar to a frog. That’s just freaky, man. Sea Robins also have six spiny “legs”, three on each side of their bodies. These legs are actually flexible spines that were once part of the pectoral fin, and they help the fish search for food on the ocean floor. Check out that video down below to watch a Sea Robin strolling around like an undersea boss. To reiterate, Sea Robins can swim, walk, and freaking fly. Anywho, Sea Robins.

Her name is Pierogi, and she is awesome.

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Ballooning is a means by which spiders can move through the air by releasing one or more threads to catch the wind and sail away like a boss. We’ve all seen Charlotte’s Web, right? Anyway, by these means they are wafted aloft and are at the mercy of the air currents. This procedure is mostly used by spiderlings to disperse, but adult spiders have been observed using it too. The spider climbs to a high point, stands on its toes and points its abdomen to the sky, releasing fine silk threads until lift-off occurs. Journeys achieved vary from a few yards to hundreds of miles. Even ships in mid-ocean have reported spider landings. That’s cool, man. Spiderling Paratroopers. True story: Once when I was teaching PE I had a group of 2nd Graders out on our softball field. Suddenly a kid pointed to the sky and yelled, “Flying spiders! FLYING SPIDERS!!!” And damned if he wasn’t right. Hundreds if not thousands of ballooning spiders were seemingly attacking us from the heavens, landing in hair, on clothes, everywhere. It was scary as hell for me the kids.  Anywho, Ballooning Spiders.

PS- If you don’t think I’m going to use the term “spiderling” in the future you’re out of your gourd.