Do You Know A Psychopath?

Sure, we use the word all the time:

My all-time favorite psycho, Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.

“Did you see Hank go nuts at the game last night? Dude’s a psycho, man.”

Or maybe . . .

“That chick won’t quit texting me. What a psycho.”

You get the picture. Still, there’s actually a difference between a psychopath and your regular everyday jerk like your Uncle Ernie.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has various characteristics of sociopaths, but one of the most crucial things you see is the “superego lacuna,” which is a term for a gap in the superego. This basically means that sociopathic people have no conscience. The moral codes that guide the rest of us don’t apply to them.

To put it simply, psychopaths legitimately give zero damns. But not just about stuff like stealing that awesome parking spot that you clearly saw first. Cheating? Stealing? Murder? A legit psychopath is capable of committing any of these things and legit move right on with their life without blinking an eye.

Psychopaths wreck their own lives as well. They take drugs, contract diseases, and just generally do not take care of their lives. They’re also usually burned out by 60 or in jail. There’s just a general disregard for their own health as well as that of other people.

But not all psychopaths are killers. Some are just con men of the highest order. They’ve learned how to mimic proper behavior even though they’re basically pretending. They feel no guilt. You know the type, they say the right things but you just know there’s nothing behind those soulless, dead eyes. Am I thinking of a former colleague of mine? I am.

And you’re picturing someone you know in your head right now too, aren’t you? Hell yes you are.

Note: It’s also important to know that psychopaths or sociopaths are very different from being psychotic. Psychotic means you’ve lost touch with reality. You’re hearing voices, you have bizarre beliefs, delusions and paranoia. You’re thoughts are disjointed and unorganized. On the other hand, psychopaths know exactly what they’re doing, they just feel no guilt. Like I said, zero damns, man.

Some cat named Dr. Robert Hare, who is Emeritus Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia, put together a checklist to see if someone is a psychopath. You rank the person 1-3 on each trait, with 3 being the highest. There are 20 traits, so a score of 60 means that particular person may be ready to go on a killing spree or something. Hey, I’m here for ya. Here’s Dr. Hare’s list:

• Glib and superficial charm: The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
• Grandiose self-worth: A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
• Need for stimulation or proneness to boredom: An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
• Pathological lying: Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
• Conning and manipulativeness: The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item four in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
• Lack of remorse or guilt: A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
• Shallow affect: Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
• Callousness and lack of empathy: A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
• Parasitic lifestyle: An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
• Poor behavioral controls: Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily
• Early behavior problems: A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

H-e-e-e-e-r-e’-s JOHNNY!!!

• Lack of realistic, long-term goals: An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
• Promiscuous sexual behavior: A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
• Impulsivity: The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
• Irresponsibility: Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
• Failure to accept responsibility for own actions: A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
• Many short-term marital relationships: A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
• Juvenile delinquency: Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
• Revocation of conditional release: A revocation of probation or other conditional releases due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
• Criminal versatility: A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

So there ya go. Rate each trait, add ’em up, and the higher the score the more likely you have a real, bona fide psychopath on your hands. On a related note, I graded myself and you do not want to know how it turned out. Just kidding.

Or am I?

PS- Like I said, American Psycho is one of my very favorite movies all-time. It just covers all the bases for me. The dark humor is killer. See what I just did there?

 

The Met Gala Fashion Review: Our 8 Favorite Ensembles

The annual Met Gala was held on Monday, and as always celebrities arrived decked out in their latest fashion statements. My crack staff here at Shoe: Untied chose their favorite looks and are heretofore ready for your perusal. Let us begin . . .

We’ll start with somebody named Billie Porter, whose getup apparently pays homage to the Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. Breathtaking, and it can just as easily be worn down to your local grocery or pub as the Met Gala!

 

Next up is Carly B (I’ve heard of her!), who has chosen a feathered shoulder giant boa train thingy. Fun fact: It took a team of 27 posse members/hangers on/people without a life to get her in and out of her limo.

Here we have Celine Dion sporting a rather conservative yet elegant dress, which was unfortunately forgotten when she stepped on a live electrical cable that sent her hair into a bizarre peacock spread that frightened bystanders.

Not gonna lie about Dwyane Wade here. I really liked his outfit. The black jacket with the cool designs on the sleeves, the simple black slacks . . . and then he had to add the damn hoodie that makes him look like a 6th grader coming in from recess.

Here we have a guy/gal wearing an elegant pin-stripe suit with 50’s style saddle shoes, topped off by long tails and WHAT THE HELL MAN MAN THAT PERSON HAS SEVEN EYES!!!

Next up is Hamish Bowles (again, nuthin), seen moments before he was completely eaten by the giant pet caterpillar he’d brought to the event as an emotional support companion.

Here’s Janelle Monet (nope, don’t know her either) who made the decision to wear eyeballs on her hand and boob, as well as at least four hats. I sort of like the earrings though.

You know, I don’t hate what Jared Leto is wearing, I really don’t. He sort of looks like the king of a faraway alien planet. But why is he carrying his own head?

So there you go. Seriously, where fashion is concerned I got nothin’ anymore.

Why Are So Many NBA Players So Miserable?

Why are so many NBA players so damn unhappy? Listen, I understand that money doesn’t buy happiness, but the average NBA salary is expected to hit the $10,000,000 by next season. TEN. MILLION. They’re getting paid to play a game they grew up loving, they’re adored by kids all over the world, beautiful women everywhere are pursuing them, and their families will taken care of financially for generations if they’re smart with their money (which they often are not).

Yet we see guys like Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving pout their way through press conferences, argue with random strangers on social media, and generally looking like they’re the most underappreciated, put-upon people on the face of the earth. And have you ever watched an NBA player walking into an arena? They’re normally walking with their heads down, eyes averted, headphones on, hood often up, appearing as if they’re walking into their own execution. I mean, how hard would it be to look people in the eye, smile, and nod a friendly hello?

The answer is not hard.

Even commissioner Adam Silver said of his league’s players, in a conversation with the Ringer’s Bill Simmons, that “A lot of these young men are generally unhappy.’’

Why?

Is it the isolation? The fear of trusting people? Not really knowing who your friends are? Reading what idiots are saying about you on Twitter?

Charles Barkley, for one, wasn’t buying Silver’s line about NBA players:

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard any commissioner say,” Charles said a few days later. “These guys are making twenty, thirty, forty million dollars a year. They work six, seven months a year. They travel in private jets. They stay in the best hotels in the world—they ain’t got no problems.”

I understand what Chuck is saying, but the fact is all those things don’t guarantee happiness. I read a study that said while happiness increases as people earn more money, it peaks at around $75,000 a year and doesn’t increase afterwards. I certainly get that.

Random thought: It seems like the bigger the star, the more unhappy the player. Think Durant, Irving, LeBron, and Anthony Davis.

It would be easy to make fun of these guys and point out that they’re just spoiled and lacking self-awareness, but the truth is depression and anxiety are not something to make fun of or shame. I know they’re real, believe me. I just wonder why it seems to be so prevalent among NBA players but doesn’t seem as prevalent among NFL, MLB or NHL players.

There has to be a reason, correct? So why are NBA players so unhappy?

Woman Texts Man 159,000 Times After One Date, Breaks Into His Home, Takes Bath

The eyes. You can always see it in the eyes.

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves, ya know? Anyway . . .

Jacqueline Ades, a woman accused of sending a man she went out on a date with once and then sending him more than 159,000 text messages and breaking into his home doesn’t understand why she’s in jail. She also wants to go to trial b,ecause she believes that a jury will not only find her not guilty, they will insist that she marry the man she stalked.

In a recent phone interview with The Arizona Republic, Ades expressed disbelief that she’s been incarcerated since May 2018 after authorities charged her with sending thousands of text messages, many of them very disturbing, over the course of 10-months, ending with her arrest in the man’s home as she was taking a bath.

Ades, who was deemed mentally incompetent at a Rule 11 hearing in March, amazingly, could have actually been released from jail several months ago, according to her attorney Matthew Leathers, if she had just accepted a plea deal which included time served, 10-years probation, and being barred from contacting the victim. However, Ades told The Republic she refused to take the deal because she didn’t believe it was real. She thought it might be the victim’s way of testing her resolve, she said.

Ades said she wants to go to trial, where she’s positive the jury will not only find her not guilty, but will order her and the man she’s accused of stalking to marry her.

Listen, I’ve seen a stalker or two in my day but this lady takes the cake. 159,000 text messages? I did the math and you’d have send 500 texts a day for 318 days to get to 159,000. That’s a whole other level of cray right there, man. And what’s the deal with people breaking into a house and taking a bath? I’ve read about this phenomenon several times. Seems odd. Then again, anyone who would text somebody 159,000 times after one date goes by their own set of rules I guess. And how about the poor schmuck who went out with her? Dude meets a woman on a dating site, takes her out for a nice dinner and the next thing you know he has a full blown screwball on his hands. Anywho, Jacqueline Ades? Batshit crazy.

PS- I listed some examples of the times I’ve been stalked, harassed, or otherwise threatened with bodily harm in this post. Such is the life of a world famous blogger.

My 25 Most Controversial Blogs

Good stuff.

A Cause for Celebration: Here’s Your 500th Asshat of the Day!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pride that I announce this . . . From Elyria, Ohio, here’s your 500th ASSHAT OF THE DAY! Milestone city! My Asshat Patrol’s tireless efforts have made a difference, as parkers all over the world are thinking twice before parking like an asshat! My tenacious patrol will continue to take the fight to enemy in parking lots, public streets and anywhere people park their vehicles.

Thanks to Asshat Patrol member Bob Sims for busting this historic asshat!