Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

I can’t tell you how fascinated I am by these photos I randomly came across on the worldwide interweb. These are real, folks. In one Abe’s hair is a complete mess, in the other he’s sporting a do that would be appropriate for 2019. Abraham Lincoln, man. Dude was ahead of his time.

Yep. Not photoshopped.

You all know about my man Teddy Roosevelt. After all, I wrote about him in the acclaimed and cleverly titled blog “11 Examples That Show Teddy Roosevelt Was Either A Badass Or Batshit Crazy“. Click on that link to read about all that was Teddy.

Finished? Good.

What follows are 7 of the most savage, vicious lines that our boy Teddy laid upon some poor folks that got in his way. Dude makes Trump’s put downs sound like they came from an 11-year old. Read on . . .

I shall start with a personal favorite. Teddy once said of William Jennings Bryan, then Secretary of State to Woodrow Wilson, “He’s a professional yodeler, a human trombone.”

Boom. Roasted.

Once a Supreme Court justice dared to cross our man. Teddy proceeded to call him a “an amiable old fuzzy-wuzzy with sweetbread brains.”

Ouch. That’s cold, man.

Here’s what he said about William Alfred Peffer, a senator from Kansas who was hairy, tall, and lean – “He’s a pin-headed, anarchistic crank, of hirsute and slab-sided aspect.

Uh, OK?

Novelist Henry James once called Roosevelt “dangerous.” Teddy responded by calling James “a little emasculated mass of inanity.”

Burn.

Teddy once said of some government official named Charlie Lyman, “he’s the most intolerably slow of all men who ever adored red tape.” 

He saved some of his best zingers for William Howard Taft, calling him things like a “puzzlewit” and a “fathead.” He also said he had “brains less than a guinea pig.”

No love lost between those two, man.

Even family members weren’t immune to his barbs. He said of his brother Elliott, “He is evidently a maniac, morally no less than mentally.”

So you see, the Mad Tweeter that currently sits in the White House isn’t the first president to lower himself to insults about his enemies. Sure, Teddy delivered his lines with considerably more intelligence, but that’s no shocker.

Anyway, Teddy Roosevelt? You didn’t want to get on his bad side.

 

 

 

You know what there is way too much of these days on both sides of the political spectrum? Folks who categorize different groups of people. As a liberal who has friends and a few family members who are conservatives I realize all is not black and white. There are many shades of gray in between. I understand that all Republicans aren’t right-wingers who support every single thing Donald Trump does. I also realize they don’t all fit the stereotype that many want to fit them into – as uptight, humorless, devoid of compassion, racist, homophobic people who hate protecting the environment. I also know that not all conservatives are tax cutting, gun collecting war lovers. To lump all conservatives into that group would be ridiculous, right? Of course it would.

Same with liberals.

With all that said, I thought I’d list a few things that I believe to me myths about the dreaded libtards liberals that Trumpanzees Trump supporters are always railing about.

Note 1: That last paragraph was me being facetious. Chillax and stop being so thin-skinned.

Note 2: Note 1 was also me being facetious.

But on to the myths. Let us begin . . .

  • I’m a liberal and I’m very patriotic. I love this country and I don’t have a problem with the constitution. Yes, I see the First Amendment being threatened sometimes by conservatives, as some have talked about banning peaceful protest and marches for example. I believe in the constitutional right to worship any way you want or don’t want to worship. The Constitution doesn’t support a national religion, as some, and I say some, conservatives would like. I also happen to believe in the Second Amendment and I support gun reform to reduce death caused by certain guns. I do not support the confiscation of all guns, and by the way neither did President Obama. I also support an individual’s right to sit or kneel during the National Anthem, and it has nothing to do with my support of our armed forces, who incidentally fight for the very right to be able to do what I’m talking about.
  • I’m a liberal and I don’t want to kill unborn children. I simply believe in pro-abortion rights, which means supporting a woman’s right to make a choice to have an abortion based on health or extremely extenuating reasons, such as rape, and not just because she doesn’t want a child. Again, all cases are not black and white. To me it’s a personal choice to be made by a woman.
  • I’m a liberal and I’m not thin-skinned nor easily offended. I’m a liberal yet I hate the “Wussification of America” (if you don’t believe me type those words into the search box up there). I think people have gone way overboard with getting their feelings hurt, to the point of absurdity. I believe people should suck it up and not let mere words bother them so much.
  • I’m a liberal and I don’t want to dole out welfare checks to able-bodied men or women who will not work. I’m also in favor of prosecuting welfare fraud. That said, as a liberal I believe in helping and assisting people with education, training and finding jobs that will help them maintain their dignity. The majority of food stamp recipients aren’t the lazy stereotype but are children, the elderly, the disabled and the working poor. Simple as that. Despite what you might think people on welfare aren’t lying back in a hammock enjoying a wine spritzer. I believe that most people are good and need the assistance and that those who are abusing the system should be prosecuted. And oh, by the way, anyone who hates government, taxes and socialism but receives free, taxpayer-subsidized Medicare or Medicaid is just begging to be called a hypocrite. Especially those that complain the free healthcare isn’t good enough.
  • I’m a liberal, and although I don’t attend church regularly I do believe strongly in following in the examples set forth in the Bible- by helping people if it’s in my power and not turning away anyone in need if I can possibly help it. Yes, liberals can be religious. I also believe there are examples set forth in religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam and others that we can all follow.

Not all conservatives are the enemy and it’s the same with liberals. And again, the political spectrum is a wide and diverse one.

So let’s stop with all the generalizing, labeling and stereotyping. I’ll try if you will. After all, ultimately we’re all on the same side here, right?

PS- And for the love of God everyone should fact-check before going on a rant about something, myself included. There’s way too much misinformation being put out from both sides. Yes, both sides. You know who broke the story regarding Hillary’s emails, right? The New York Times.

You cannot make this stuff up, kids.

This speech was given just 2-months after Ronald Reagan was shot on March 30th, 1981. Listen, I was never a big Reagan guy at all (although he looks pretty damn good in retrospect) but this is a stone cold move. After hearing a loud balloon pop he doesn’t flinch, just casually says “missed me” to the masses. Reagan, man.

PS- Again, this was just 2-months after he was shot. Hell, the Orange Tweeter couldn’t go out in the rain to honor our veterans.

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First, the tweet:


Listen, I have no idea what caused that tweet outburst but Goldberg is pissed, man. Listen Donnie, you can piss off the Democrats, the failing New York Times, the NFL, Obama, anyone on Obamacare, Mexicans, women, Snoop Dogg, the Boy Scouts, POWs, Crooked Hillary, disabled people, Muslims, immigrants, John McCain, African Americans, Catholics, Bernie Sanders, most of the US Allies, the Pope, Germany, the entire Bush family, Saturday Night Live, England, Hollywood, the United Nations, me, or anyone who isn’t a white heterosexual In North America, but damn it you’d better not piss off Goldberg. That’s just cray, man. I mean, have you seen this guy? Dude is a jacked up, steroid infused man-beast. You Big Orange Tweeter, what have you done now?

He’s coming for you, Donnie.

PS- Seriously, he’s pissed all those people off, and I narrowed down the list. People he hasn’t pissed off? Multi-Millionaires and White Hillbilly Racists.

PPS- Goldberg is now saying he was hacked. Disregard.

So the Dominican newspaper El Naciona published this article the other day, with one small error – the photo that’s supposed to be Donald Trump is actually Alec Baldwin’s character on Saturday Night Live.

And the hilarity continues.

So Major League Baseball had its big Home Run Derby the other night. You know, the one where they use “different” baseballs for “entertainment purposes”. Anyway, the derby was won by Bryce Harper of the hometown Nationals (insert MLB conspiracy theory here) and he was fawned over for his performance in a meaningless contest even though he’s hitting .215 and can’t lead his team to any success in the playoffs. He was also called a patriot, a nationalist, and dare I say an American hero for sporting Old Glory on his headband, arm sleeve, bat, and presumably his underwear.

HOWEVER . . . I hate to be a party pooping killjoy here, but Bryce Harper is showing blatant disregard for the official United States Flag Code. Weird, man. It seems like the biggest flag wavers are also the most blatant violators of the Flag Code. Let me pluck one of the rules for public presentation of the flag:

No part of the flag should ever be used on a costume or athletic uniform, the exception being a flag patch affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations.”

Uh-oh.

PS- I don’t really care if athletes wear images of the flag on their uniforms or helmets or anything. People get really self-righteous about the flag so I thought this was sort of funny in a hypocritical sort of way.

PPS- The Party Pooping Killjoys would be a great band name.

Oh. Also this:

Finally, we can all take a deep breath and relax. Our long national nightmare is over. The nuclear threat from North Korea has been neutralized thanks to the efforts of the Great Negotiator, the American Peacemaker, The National Voice of Reason. Yes ladies and gentlemen, God bless America and God bless Dennis Rodman. Now let’s all sit back and watch Trump try and take the credit.

PS- Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. Trump is the leader of the free world and Dennis “The Worm” Rodman is at the center of achieving peace with North Korea. America, man.

These folks can get along, yet I avoid a certain check-out lady at Kroger because of her politics. I really need to up my game.

Aaaand here’s a bonus photo I stumbled across. You’re welcome.

So 76-year old George Clinton of Parliament-Funkadelic was interviewed by Rolling Stone, and man did this dude bring some things into perspective. He was asked about Cultural Appropriation, that is, whites doing “black music” and stuff. The question seemed a little dated to me anyway, but George responded with a great take:

I’d bite off the Beatles, or anybody else. It’s all one world, one planet and one groove. You’re supposed to learn from each other, blend from each other, and it moves around like that. You see that rocket ship leave yesterday? We can maybe leave this planet. We gonna be dealing with aliens. You think black and white gonna be a problem? Wait till you start running into mother***kers with three or four d**cks! Bug-eyed mother***kers! They could be ready to party, or they could be ready to eat us. We don’t know, but we’ve got to get over this shit of not getting along with each other.”

BOOM! I do not believe I’ve ever heard it stated better.

You know, George would make a great president. Too bad he’s in his 70’s and half crazy, nobody would ever vote for a guy like that. Wait . . .

!!!!!!!!!!

 

So these dudes showed up at the Winter Olympics opening ceremonies and caused a little ruckus before they were hustled off by authorities. They actually look pretty authentic to me, other than the fact that the fake Trump has better hair than the real Trump. Nice job boys. Nice job indeed.

Listen, everyone knows I’m not a Trump guy. I think he’s an ignorant racist who’s running our country into the ground. That said, I gotta be honest. I respect this move. It’s so Trump it hurts. Dude doesn’t like the question from a reporter who was clearly trolling him so he just points to the door and says “Out.” That’s about as boss a move as you can pull. On a related note, what is the over/under on how many times Trump says to Pence every day? 5? Actually that may be low.

Note: Try and find another website that uses the word baddassiest. You can’t. 

Note 2: The Donald is looking unusually slim in this video. Maybe he really does weigh 285 239.

Fresh off the Twitter:

NEW this AM: Trump attorneys send cease-and-desist letter this morning to book publisher Henry Holt demanding they stop publication of Michael Wolff’s book “Fire & Fury: Inside Trump’s White House” and issue an apology to Trump for defamatory statements made thus far.

Oh, this must be good if The Donald is fighting so hard to ban it. Gotta be, right? It must have some really juicy and damning information contained within. After all, Trump doesn’t usually react to things like this, being so presidential and all. We all know how our Tweeter-in-Chief is known for his thick skin and uncanny ability to handle criticism. He usually takes the high road when folks dare disagree with him, everyone knows that.

Wait. Never mind.

PS- Still buying it.

UPDATE!

Breaking: Publisher of Michael Wolff’s Fire & Fury: Inside Trump’s White House, moves up the book’s release date by four days. It will be on store shelves tomorrow morning.

Yuge news! Yuuuuge! Anyone know when Barnes and Nobles opens?

PS- Now I’m starting to think Trump might be in on this whole thing, filing a cease and desist to ratchet up interest. Dude will do anything to make a buck. Damn it Trump!

So the Mad Tweeter, also known as the Leader of the Free World, has now taken credit for the lack of commercial airplane crashes since he was elected by a minority of Americans. What he didn’t mention was the fact that 2017 was the 8th year in a row with no commercial aviation deaths in the United States. Of course and as always, Twitter reacted accordingly. First, his tweet:

A-a-a-a-a-a-n-d then came the responses. Even the Breaking Bad dude chimed in. Click to enjoy the snarkiness.

I swear to God you can’t make this stuff up. Honestly, there’s a part of me that shall miss him when he’s impeached/thrown out/loses the next election/goes completely batshit cray-cray and is taken away in a paddywagon. It’s inevitable you know.

Go ahead, make your Clinton jokes. My title up there sets you up perfectly. I don’t care. Something about our 42nd president hiding between the statues of our 41st and 43rd presidents cracks me up. I mean, Bill looks like he’s guilty of someth . . . never mind. Anyway, great photo.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. Kayla more giving rock solid proof that she and Roy aren’t anti-Semitic because of their attorneys is a Jew. This reminds me of morons that say things like this:

“I’m not racist. One of my friends is black.”

or . . .

“I’m not biased against fast food. I ate at a White Castle once.”

Or perhaps . . .

“I don’t hate ugly people. One of my friends is so ugly she sat in a sandbox and the cats tried to bury her.”

You get my drift. It’s a dumb, pointless argument that has zero merit. Of course, Mrs. Moore also said this awhile back as well regarding the good old days:

“I think it was great at the time when families were united — even though we had slavery. They cared for one another. People were strong in the families. Our families were strong. Our country had a direction.”

Ah, the good old days when America was great, even though we had that little slavery thing. Don’t we all long for that simpler, more racist time?

Good God.

Anyway, enjoy the video. On a related note, could Roy look any creepier?

Note: I cannot wait for the threats I receive after this one. As always I’ll keep you posted.

 

 

So mega-rich former Hollywood producer, banker and current US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin posed with his trophy wife and a sheet of money, presumably because he’s excited to see his signature on a dollar bill, but hey, who wouldn’t be? Anyway, the worldwide interweb is having some fun with the photos. First, check out the pics:

Now, the comments:

“Picking out wallpaper for the cognac swirling room.”

“Only way this could be worse would be if Linton and Mnuchin were lighting cigars with flaming dollar bills.”

“You cannot parody these folks.”

“Why are they dressed like Bond villains?”

“Just a friendly reminder that the GOP wants to raise taxes on the middle class & take health insurance away from millions of Americans so people like Louise Linton and Steven Mnuchin can get a tax cut.”

“Me at Chipotle when the tell me the guac is extra.”

Good stuff. And it’s also comforting to know that some women are attracted to a man’s personality and not his bank account.

PS- Kidding. She’s totally attracted to his bank account.

wasn’t

The Hill — Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is reportedly recovering from five broken ribs after he was attacked while doing yard work on Friday. Doug Stafford, a top aide to Paul, told The Associated Press on Sunday that it is unclear when Paul plans to return to work as he deals with searing pain that prevents him from traveling and flying. Three of the five broken ribs are displaced fractures, which pose a risk for life-threatening problems, the aide told the news wire. His injuries could cause the senator lasting pain for months, according to the report. Rene’ Boucher, Paul’s 59-year old next-door neighbor, has been charged with misdemeanor fourth-degree assault.

First off, nothing screams “I’m a nerd” better than getting the shit kicked out of you by a guy named Rene’. Secondly, how the hell do you get beat up doing yard work? Wouldn’t you have a weapon with you? Maybe a rake? A sickle? Hell, a lawnmower? Make a charge at that bro with your 18 HP Cub Cadet XT1 Enduro Series LT 42″ Kohler Hydrostatic Gas Front-Engine Riding Mower  and watch that sucker go running back to his own freakin’ yard. Just a bad look all-around for Senator Rand Paul. Bad look indeed.

PS- You just know Trump is behind this. As if this public humiliation and evisceration wasn’t enough.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Listen, I’ve always been against the sale of AK-47s and whatnot. Now? I totally get it. Hey, you forget my chicken wings and I’m going to shoot you the hell up, man. Especially at Pirtle’s Chicken. At least we know those assault-style weapons are being sold to upstanding, law-abiding citizens. I get it!

Remember when I posted the photo of these guys a couple weeks ago and how I’d have loved to have been with them? Well, this video tops that photo. As Clinton is giving a serious speech about global unity or something, watch W lean over and whisper something to Barry, who then holds back laughter as W looks at him mischievously. Listen, I hated Bush as president but damn he looks great to me now. You know, considering. Anyway, what are the odds it’s a Clinton joke? I mean, I love Bill but God knows there’s a lot of material there. Bottom line, I’d take any of these three in a heartbeat over the 12-year old tweeter we have now. But damn, I don’t want to know what W says here. I need to know.

PS- Now that I watch it again I’m pretty sure W told a really juvenile joke about some woman in the front row or something.

PPS- Never thought I’d say this but I think I’d really like to hang out with George W. Bush.

We’ve all heard the arguments for and against the guys who are kneeling for the anthem – it’s unpatriotic, it’s not about the flag, it’s showing disrespect to our soldiers, it’s pointing out racial injustice, blah-blah-blah. Everyone knows where I stand on the issue (pun intended) because I posted a thread that got about 10-million freakin’ responses. Anywho, check out the jackass in the photo below with the “I Stand For The National Anthem” shirt and what he’s doing. This is blasphemy of the highest order, an ultimate sin and outrage to all true citizens of the United States of America. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that man is drinking beer through a straw.

 

Rough indeed.

Theodore Roosevelt was an American statesman, author, explorer, soldier, and naturalist, who served as the 26th President of the United States from 1901 to 1909. He was also either the most daring, toughest SOB who ever lived or he was crazy as a loon. You be the judge. What follows are 11 of the wildest things my man TR ever did.

HE GOT SHOT IN THE CHEST AND PROCEEDED TO GIVE A 90-MINUTE SPEECH

Yep. That’s the shirt.

In October of 1912, Roosevelt was on the campaign trail stumping for the Bull Moose Party. During a speech in Milwaukee, he was shot in the chest by some crank named John Flammang Schrank. Because our man Teddy deduced that he was not coughing up blood, he elected to continue his speech, because hell yes he did. We’re talking about a man very familiar with the effects of gunshot wounds. He’d already shot and killed pretty much every animal on the planet (more on that later) and had watched men bleed out on the battlefield during his military service. Then he had the would-be assassin brought to him and told him “It takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.” Jesus that’s badass. Then, before he spoke, Roosevelt declared, “I was going to make a long speech, and there is a bullet… the bullet is in me now, so that I cannot make a very long speech, but I will try my best.” When people in the crowd questioned this he simply opened his jacket to show his blood-soaked shirt. 90-minutes later the speech ended.

And oh, by the way, Roosevelt carried the bullet in his chest for the rest of his life.

HE OVERCAME CHILDHOOD ILLNESS THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL

When young Teddy Roosevelt would have asthma attacks, his father, Theodore Sr., would take him on carriage rides to force air into his lungs. And when young T.R.’s illnesses would prevent him from keeping up with other children his age, his father simply said to him: “You have the mind but you have not the body. You must make your body.” Young T.R.’s many health ailments would soon recede as he took up athletics, hiking, and hunting. Only Teddy R could fend off sickness without medicine and with only pure force of will. Teddy, man.

HE’S BASICALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MODERN FOOTBALL AS WE KNOW IT

Football was once a bloody, brutal, potentially deadly sport. In 1904, there were 18 football related deaths and 159 serious injuries. On a related note, today’s players are wussy-like pansies of the highest order. Anywho, in order for the sport to survive, modern rules needed to be put in place. T.R. invited the head coaches of the top collegiate football teams to the White House on several occasions, strongly urging them to reconsider the rules of the game. He wrote at the time that his goal was not to emasculate the game – but simply to make it less lethal. By 1906, radical rule changes to the game of football were implemented.  “I believe in rough games and in rough, manly sports. I do not feel any particular sympathy for the person who gets battered about a good deal so long as it is not fatal.” Seems logical enough, amirite?

TEDDY AND HIS SON KILLED 512 ANIMALS IN ONE SAFARI

Listen, everyone knows I’m a big animal guy. No excuse for this bullshit. And turning an elephant’s foot into a trash can takes a special kind of crazy. If you ever take a tour of The Summer White House, Roosevelt’s Long Island home at Sagamore Hill, you will notice that it is full of such disgusting and sometimes wondrous animal trophies. Numerous elephant foot trash receptacles. A rhino foot pen holder. Bear and mountain lion rugs. Bison, moose, and deer wall ornaments. An elk hat rack. The North Room, at his estate on Long Island, is truly a spectacle to behold. Visit it. You will be amazed.

DURING HIS HONEYMOON HE SNUCK OUT TO CLIMB THE FREAKING MATTERHORN

Seriously. During his honeymoon. Dead serious. While a student at Harvard, Dr. Dudley Sargent had warned Roosevelt, who had been a sickly child that, because of a weak heart failure to lead a sedentary life could have fatal consequences. TR would have none of it. “Doctor, I’m going to do all the things you tell me not to do. If I’ve got to live the sort of life you have described, I don’t care how short it is.” A year after graduation, Roosevelt took time from his European honeymoon with wife Alice to scale the 15,000-foot Matterhorn.

HE ONCE STAYED UP 40-STRAIGHT HOURS TO WATCH 3-OUTLAWS HE’D CAPTURED

After his wife and mother died – on the same damn day – T.R. grieved in his own unique way: by leaving the city behind for the wild of the American West to become a cowboy, because what the hell else would you expect from him? He operated a cattle ranch in Little Missouri in the Dakotas for a few years, learning to ride, rope, and hunt. He worked alongside men who made him tougher, stating that they “took the snob out of him.” During his years in the West, he wrote several books on the subject, before returning home and running for office. Anyway, while living in North Dakota T.R. became a deputy sheriff, which by now should be in no way surprising. During this time, he once pursued three boat thieves through a frozen river. After capturing them, he personally took them to the town of Dickinson for trial rather than allow them to be hanged by vigilantes. On the journey, he watched them for 40-hours straight without sleep. Of course, he read Tolstoy to keep himself occupied. “I kept guard over the three prisoners, who were huddled into a sullen group some twenty yards off, just the right distance for the buckshot in the double-barrel.”  Bad. Ass.

HE HAD A HUGE TATTOO OF THE ROOSEVELT FAMILY CREST ON HIS CHEST

Yes kids, Teddy Roosevelt was the only US president who was inked up. That is all.

HE WENT ON AN UNCHARTED JOURNEY DOWN AN ANACONDA AND PIRANHA-INFESTED RIVER IN SOUTH AMERICA

Listen to this one – Accompanied by his son Kermit and famed explorer Colonel Candido Rondon, they set off on a journey down a river in South America known as the River of Doubt. Things were not going great, and by not going great I mean things were going horrifically wrong. They lost 5 of 7 canoes. They were in close vicinity to cannibalistic tribes. One sailor died in the rapids. Another was murdered by a crew member gone mad. Then, incredibly, things got worse. T.R. badly cut his leg trying cross the river in order to free two jammed canoes. His injury led to an infection, which led to a fever. Near death, he pleaded with his son to leave him behind to die, but Kermit refused. In the end, T.R. of course finished the journey, albeit 60-pounds lighter.

HE WAS BLINDED IN ONE EYE DURING A BOXING MATCH

Roosevelt’s love of boxing can be traced back to his Harvard roots, where he competed as a light heavyweight with moderate success. His exploits at Harvard were legendary. He continued to box he was the New York City Police Commissioner, the Governor of NY, and the President of the United States, because who the hell was going to tell Teddy Roosevelt he couldn’t? His last boxing match came in 1908, when a young military aide who had been invited to spar at the White House landed a devastating punch that dislocated Roosevelt’s left retina, leaving him mostly blind in that eye for life. Didn’t slow him down for a second.

HE GAVE HIS 9-YEAR OLD SON A WILD BADGER AS A PET. OH, AND ALSO A WILD HYENA

Annnnnd, there it is.

Because what else would Teddy Roosevelt give his son? Yessir, Archie was just 9-years old when his father decided it would be appropriate to give him a wild badger as a pet. Josiah the badger was supposedly quick to anger but had a “good heart” according to T.R. According to young Archie: “He bites legs sometimes, but he never bites faces.” Good to know! Other Roosevelt family pets included Bill the Lizard, a quintet guinea pigs named Admiral Dewey, Dr. Johnson, Bishop Doane, Fighting Bob Evans, and Father O’Grady, Maude the Pig, a blue macaw named Eli Yale, a hen Baron Spreckle, an owl because why not, a rabbit named Peter, Algonquin the family pony, and of course they had this – an actual wild hyena.

AT 58-YEARS OLD HE VOLUNTEERED TO LEAD A REGIMENT INTO WORLD WAR I

At the outbreak of World War I, the 58-year-old ex-president was eager to return to the front lines. If this surprises you then you haven’t been paying attention. Roosevelt vehemently lobbied President Woodrow Wilson to send him to France at the head of a 200,000-man expeditionary force. Around the country, supporters of the hero of San Juan Hill staged rallies of support, but Roosevelt would not get called to fight in the war that eventually claimed his son Quentin, who was killed in action when his plane was shot down over France in 1918. It’s a damn shame he was turned down, because I’m pretty sure the war would have ended a lot sooner.

So there ya go. And hey, I never even mentioned his exploits as leader of the legendary Rough Riders. Anyway, early 1900s? That was when men were men and Teddy Roosevelt was either batshit crazy or a bona-fide American badass. I’m thinking he was a little of the former and a lot of the latter.

So some bro created a cloud lamp that reacts in real time to the tweets of Donald Trump, because of course he did. This connected lamp is capable of reacting in real time to messages posted on Twitter, creating a thunderstorm every time a hilarious, self-congratulatory, delusional Trump tweet is posted. It’s the perfect gift for those of us who’d like a warning before a Trump Tweet slaps us in the Twitter Face, or for those who enjoy and approve of The Donald’s wacky, childlike antics. As for me, I’m going to purchase one and have the Looney Tunes theme song play with every Trump Tweet.

Photos and video below.

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Pittsburgh Post-Gazette — A text message sent in January to U.S. Rep. Tim Murphy by a woman with whom he had an extra-marital relationship took him to task for an anti-abortion statement posted on Facebook from his office’s public account.

“And you have zero issue posting your pro-life stance all over the place when you had no issue asking me to abort our unborn child just last week when we thought that was one of the options,” Shannon Edwards, a forensic psychologist in Pittsburgh with whom the congressman admitted last month to having a relationship, wrote to Mr. Murphy on Jan. 25, in the midst of an unfounded pregnancy scare.

On Wednesday, Murphy released a statement in which he says he will not seek re-election.

A text from Mr. Murphy’s cell phone number that same day in response says, “I get what you say about my March for Life messages. I’ve never written them. Staff does them. I read them and winced. I told staff don’t write any more. I will.”

Man, bad look for Rep. Tim Murphy of Pennsylvania, amirite? You base a lot of your campaign on being anti-abortion only to have your mistress show the world you asked her to get an abortion. That’s a slap in the face of your voters if there ever was one. And I love how he threw his staff under the bus in a heartbeat. Politicians, man.

PS –  A politician being a hypocrite? Whodathunkit? Nothing like telling people how to live and what to do with their lives but refusing to hold yourself to that same standard. Crazy times, man. Next thing you know a billionaire real estate magnate game show host will convince the common folk he cares about them and they’ll elect him president.