Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Listen, Trump gave his speech about Healthcare and I watched, basically because I wanted to make fun of him. However, I swear to God I didn’t hear a word he said. Why? Because the lady behind him had the most outrageous eyebrow game these eyes have seen. I mean, this chick looks just like one of my buddies that passed out at a party in college and somebody pulled the old sharpie prank on him. Sweet Mother of God, does she not own a mirror? How does her family let her leave the house like that? For the love of all that is holy, she knew she was going to on national television, right? I’m legit terrified of this woman. Forget healthcare, man, somebody fix this woman’s eyebrows!

The pay gap between male and female White House staffers has more than tripled in the first year of the Trump administration, according to an analysis by economist Mark Perry of the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank. The median female White House employee is drawing a salary of $72,650 in 2017, compared to the median male salary of $115,000. “The typical female staffer in Trump’s White House earns 63.2 cents per $1 earned by a typical male staffer,” Perry writes.

The 37% gender pay gap in President Trump’s White House is more than double the 17% gender pay gap nationally. According to the Pew Research center, the Trump White House gender gap is wider than the national gender pay gap stood in 1980. Trump’s gender pay gap is also up sharply from the 11% gender pay gap in the last year of the Obama White House.

No surprise here.

Here’s The Donald just committing the cardinal sin of cruising across a golf course green like a boss, which incidentally he is because he owns the course. Then he tops it off by cruising over to a couple bros and bragging about the security on his course because it’s blanketed by the secret service: “Best security in the history of golf.” That’s gold. But the best part is when he casually gives them a knuckle-bump and rolls away. I tell ya, on some level you gotta respect the man’s brashness. Dude doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks.

PS- You’d be amazed how many people get offended by posts like this. I’ll get all sorts of threats for this one. But I’m actually sort of admiring this move, right? Trumpians are way too thin-skinned, man.

PPS- Somebody said he’s just in front of the green. Damn, I hope not. That would ruin everything.

Man, it was difficult to narrow this list down. There were a thousand musicians who stepped up and made statements musically during the Civil Rights Movement. These just happen to be my favorite moments. Let us proceed. Oh, and click on the title to hear a song if it applies.

PETULA CLARK AND HARRY BELAFONTE TOUCH ON NATIONAL TV

Yes, I said “touched.” Petula Clark was one of the most popular recording artists of the 1960s. She sang songs like “Downtown”, “Don’t Sleep in the Subway”, and “I know a Place”, good tunes all.

In early 1968, Clark was given the chance to host her own special on NBC. She had, as a guest star on the program, the popular singer and noted civil rights activist, Harry Belafonte.

Incredible as it may seem now, the show made waves when, during the performance of an anti-war song written by Clark, “On the Path of Glory”, Clark locked arms with Belafonte.

The program was sponsored by Chrysler, and a vice-president of the company, Doyle Lott, was present at the taping in early March of 1968. He took issue with the “interracial touching,” and asked them to use a different take of the song (they had filmed a number of different takes). Clark and her husband (co-producer of the special), Claude Wolff, objected.

To make sure that they could not be overruled, Wolff told the producer of the special, Steve Binder, to actually destroy all other takes of the song. Binder checked with NBC, who said that they’d defer to whatever he decided to do. He agreed with Wolff. Binder later recalled telling the editor to erase the other takes and the editor actually made him sign a document attesting that Binder was taking full responsibility for the erasure of the other takes.

The whole situation made major public waves, and attracted a lot of publicity for the show. Bottom line, good for everyone who fought the good fight that day.

The show aired on April 8th, 1968.

CHUCK BERRY’S DUCKWALK INTEGRATES SOUTHERN DANCE HALLS

Rock n’ Roll played an immeasurable part in getting blacks and whites together in the 1950s. Rock music itself was the result of a blending of the blues and country, sounds that had been pretty seperate the previous couple of decades. The early face of this wild new genre was Chuck Berry, and his risqué lyrics and signature moves sent teenagers of all colors into a frenzy. A few years before Elvis’s pelvic thrusts would define a generation, Berry’s “Duckwalk” guitar solo created such demand from black and white audiences that clubs would hold integrated parties with velvet ropes running down the middle of the dance floor to keep the races separated. Soon, the velvet ropes would disappear. Rock can’t see color, kids.

JAMES BROWN SAVES BOSTON FROM RIOTS

The spring of 1968 was darkened by the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., and the subsequent rioting that took place in cities across the country. Boston, Massachusetts, wasn’t spared, and on the night the news broke, kids took to the streets in Roxbury, Dorchester and the South End to express their rage. James Brown was scheduled to perform there the next day, and the city decided to broadcast the show on local TV to keep folks in their homes and off the block. During the concert, attendees ran on stage and the police began to swarm, but Brown halted them and addressed the kids directly. “Now I ask the police to step back, because I think I can get some respect from my own people.” The crowd obliged, and the concert went on without incident. The next day, he walked through the hoods of the Bean and personally asked the people not to riot, promising, “there’s another way.”

BILLIE HOLIDAY RECORDS “STRANGE FRUIT”

“Strange Fruit” was first performed by Billie Holiday in 1939, and it paints a portrait familiar to southerners in the first half of the 21st century. The song describes “a strange and bitter crop” with “bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,” an illustration of a then all-too-common sight – a lynching. The song is weird because it sounds sort of romantic and sensual. Only when you really listen to the lyrics does the real, more sinister meaning of the song become clear. Just a chilling song, really.

RAY CHARLES REFUSES TO PLAY AUGUSTA

After Bell Auditorium announced that Ray Charles was going to do a show there in 1961, students told Charles the dance floor would be for whites only and the upper balcony would be sectioned off for blacks. Ray immediately took a stand and cancelled his appearance. The venue fined him for breach of contract, expecting him to back down. Instead, in one of civil rights history’s greatest boss moves, he paid the fine and didn’t play another show in Augusta, Georgia until it was desegregated. Ray, man.

MARVIN GAYE RELEASES “WHAT’S GOIN’ ON”

Marvin Gaye needs no introduction: his name has become synonymous with the rich legacy of Motown and the soulful R&B that came to define Black music for decades to come. It should come as no surprise that the man released his (arguably) best single eleven albums into his career. “What’s Going On” is all at once a gripping protest song, a syrupy love song and a giddy party starter. When the track dropped in 1971, Gaye was struggling through the sudden loss of his frequent collaborator and close friend Tammi Terrell, a brother that had been shipped off to war, and a country that was still mired in the dregs of violence and racism. Although inspired by an act of police brutality, “What’s Going On” led to some of Gaye’s most bright-eyed work on the landmark album of the same name, and gave the movement one of its defining anthems.

BOB DYLAN RELEASES “THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN'”

I’ve always thought of this classic song by Dylan as more anti-Vietnam than pro-Civil Rights, but the lyrics can apply to both. “This was definitely a song with a purpose,” Dylan would later say. “The civil rights movement and the folk music movement were pretty close for a while and allied together at that time.” That same year saw the arrival of the Civil Rights Act, putting an end to racial segregation in the US. Songs like this one were the soundtrack to the movement.

SAM COOKE RECORDS “A CHANGE IS GONNA COME”

After hearing Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind,” Cooke wanted to write a song about race that had the same impact. He’d encountered racial turbulence in the year prior when he and his tourmates tried to book a “whites only” hotel and were arrested for disturbing the peace. That incident was the inspiration for “Change,” and the song became a massive success in the black community after its release in 1963.

JOHN COLTRANE RECORDS “ALABAMA”

In the early morning hours of September 15, 1963, four members of the Ku Klux Klan planted a box of dynamite under the steps of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. The bomb was detonated a few hours later, murdering Addie Mae Collins, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson and Denise McNair, all under the age of 14. The incident became a lightning rod for the Civil Rights Movement, which was exactly what the KKK didn’t want. Another unintended consequence – it inspired jazz legend John Coltrane to write and record the stunning song “Alabama”. The song, without lyrics, is a mournful tribute and was patterned after Martin Luther King’s “Eulogy for the Martyred Children,” the speech he gave at the funeral for the four girls. That same year, Coltrane performed the song live on television’s Jazz Casual in front of a stunned, spellbound national audience.

PHIL OCHS RECORDS “HERE’S TO THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI”

Phil Ochs was never one to mince words, and this song was no exception. After visiting Mississippi and being outraged at what he saw, he wrote this blistering tune where he lays it all on the line. Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Here’s to the State of Mississippi,
For underneath her borders, the devil draws no lines,
If you drag her muddy rivers, nameless bodies you will find.
Oh the fat trees of the forest have hid a thousand crimes,
The calender is lyin’ when it reads the present time.
Whoa here’s to the land you’ve torn out the heart of,
Mississippi find yourself another country to be part of!

Yikes.

Like I said up top, I know there are many other songs and incidents that I could have listed, but these are the ones that stand out to me. If you have any suggestions feel free to comment.*

*See what I did there? Feel free? Civil Rights Movement? Never mind. 

 

 

Otto Warmbier.

NYP – Otto Warmbier, the University of Virginia student who was detained in North Korea for nearly a year and a half for stealing a propaganda poster, died Monday afternoon, days after he returned home in a coma, his parents announced.

Warmbier, 22, had been medically evacuated last week and was being treated at the University of Cincinnati Medical Center. His parents, Fred and Cindy Warmbier, did not specify the cause of death.

But they made clear in a written statement that they blamed North Korea for what happened. Their son was arrested in January 2016 at the end of a brief tourist visit to the isolated country.

Listen, I have to be honest here. First off, I hate to see anybody die so understand that. Still, it’s a little hard for me to agree with all these people calling for us to bomb North Korea for this horrendous act. Here’s my thinking. First off, if you want to visit a country with an unbalanced, clearly insane dictator like Kim Jong-un that’s your right. But you can’t expect to be treated like you’re treated in countries with stable leadership and democratic governments. I sort of relate this to those people who go hiking in India, accidentally wander into Pakistan, get arrested, and then start whining about human rights. What the hell did you expect, man? And when you go to North Korea and are dumb enough to steal a propaganda poster and get caught, well, I have trouble feeling sorry for you. Good God. Again, I feel badly for the guy’s family but he didn’t make the wisest move here. If you want to go overseas on vacation and make it home alive go to Switzerland or the Caribbean. Rant over.

PS- I’m not saying somebody shouldn’t take out Kim-Jong-un either, because that dude’s batshit crazy. 

You know, sometimes it’s hard for me to hate Donnie, it really is. Just when I start to work up a little healthy rage a photo like this one comes bursting onto the internet to lighten my mood. Here’s Rhode Island Teacher of the Year Nikos Giannopoulos proudly wearing his LGBTQ (Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Queer) pin and flashing a hand fan whilst The Donald looks on happily. Giannopoulos stated that he actually asked our president if he could hold the fan and was told, “Absolutely! Go for it! You look very stylish.” Damn, that’s several kinds of awesome. Can’t hate you for this one, Donnie.

PS: I bet the guy over on Polk Hollow with “TRUMP” spelled out in Christmas lights on his double wide trailer is as confused as hell right now. 

Well, this is terrifying.

Sweet Lord a’mighty, now I know why Donnie’s down on his knees for this guy. You don’t wanna mess with a bro who casually walks down the street with Gandalf saying “what’s up” to pigeons. Putin was like, “Hey Larry” and the pigeon was like “What’s up, P?” That’s next level stuff, man. If you have the animals on your side it’s game over. Now excuse me while I go look for this book:

PS- I know it’s not real, but I’ll still get messages from idiots that don’t scroll this far down.

Ever notice how our President’s age during their time in office? You can see it on President Trump already. Hair goes gray and they seem to age abnormally quickly. It’s the pressure, man. It’s more pressure than any human on earth faces. I mean, basically the fate of the entire world hinges on the decisions you make. That said, a few presidents have admitted their greatest presidential regrets. Read on to find out what they are . . .

George W. Bush – The War in Iraq

When asked in a 2008 interview about his biggest regret as president, George W. Bush surprisingly listed the Iraq War. While he did not regret everything that occurred in Iraq, the president seemed distraught over intelligence failures. He claimed this was the biggest regret of his presidency, stating, “I wish the intelligence had been different, and better, I guess.”

Bush denied accusations that his administration had intentionally misled Congress. He noted members of Congress read all the same reports his staff did and still decided to go forward with the invasion. He was disappointed things in Iraq did not go as planned, and that they didn’t find any “weapons of mass destruction.”

John Quincy Adams –  His Treatment Of Native Americans

When John Quincy Adams took office, the Indian Springs Treaty was waiting on his desk. The treaty forced the Creek Nation, living in what is now Georgia, to give up their land and move west. As Congress had already voted in favor of the treaty, Adams signed it as soon as he took office. It was an act he regretted almost immediately.

Leaders of the Creek Nation met with Adams, changing his views on the nation’s treatment of its Native American populations. Adams tried to annul the treaty, but his attempts were blocked by Congress and the state of Georgia threatened military action. While a new treaty was eventually drafted, the Creek Nation still had to cede two-thirds of their land to Georgia. A third treaty, passed a year later, forced the Creek Nation to give up all remaining land.

Adams both regretted the Indian Springs Treaty and the nation’s treatment of Native Americans overall. He would go on to write about this in his personal diary. “We have talked of benevolence and humanity, and preached them into civilization, but none of this benevolence is felt where the right of the Indian comes in collision with the interest of the white man.” Sadly, his time in the White House would forever be judged by his poor treatment of Native Americans.

George H.W. Bush – Not Taking Out Saddam Hussein

Had George H.W. Bush succeeded in getting Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein out of power, perhaps the Second Iraq War could have been avoided. Bush regretted not continuing with action in Iraq until Hussein surrendered. He believed, had the Gulf War gone on longer, Hussein could have been removed from power.

Apparently an FBI agent told Bush that he was certain Hussein would have eventually surrendered had military action continued. While Bush still considers the ending of the Gulf War a military success, he regrets it did not have a better, more final conclusion. He feels that had he forced Hussein into surrendering, the later troubles his son faced in Iraq could have been avoided.

Barack Obama – His Handling Of Libya
In 2011, Obama helped remove Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi from power. While he knew intervening was the right decision, he regrets his lack of a follow-up plan. Libya was thrown into turmoil after Gaddafi’s removal, and the country is still recovering today.

Obama said in an interview that his failure to plan for the day after the intervention was his worst mistake as president.

Bill Clinton – Not Bringing Peace To The Middle East

Nope, the Monica Lewinsky scandal and subsequent impeachment threat was not Bill Clinton’s biggest regret as president. Clinton was actually more concerned with his handling of conflict in the Middle East. When asked about his biggest regret as president, he said he wished he had done more to smooth over tensions between Israel and Palestine.

My number one regret is that I was not able to persuade Yasser Arafat to accept the peace plan I offered at the end of my presidency,” Clinton said. Clinton believes, had Arafat accepted the terms of the agreement, he could have spent the coming years making progress towards peace in Israel.

Dwight Eisenhower – His Own Supreme Court Pick

When Dwight D. Eisenhower originally appointed Earl Warren as a Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, he was confident in his decision. He stated Warren had the kind of political, economic, and social thinking the country needed. However, after Warren led the court in a series of liberal decisions, the conservative Eisenhower’s feelings towards him soured. Eisenhower would go on to call the appointment the “biggest damned-fool mistake I ever made.

Jimmy Carter – His Handling Of The Iran Hostage Crisis

No shocker here. Most historians feel that, had Carter handled the Iran Hostage Crisis in a more timely fashion, he would have been elected for a second term. Carter apparently agrees. In an interview in 2015, Carter admitted he wished he had sent more helicopters in sooner to remove the 52 American diplomats and citizens that were held hostage in Iran for 444 days starting in November of 1979.

Carter said, “I wish I had one more helicopter to get the hostages, and had we rescued them I’d have been re-elected.”

Richard Nixon – Delaying The Vietnam Bombings
Watergate seems like it would be the biggest regret for Richard Nixon, but he apparently felt the scandal that cost him the presidency was not his worst fumble. In a Meet The Press interview, Nixon claimed that delaying the bombing of North Vietnam was his biggest regret as president. Nixon hit Vietnam with bombs in 1972, but wishes he had taken action as early as 1969.

“I talked to Henry Kissinger about it,” Nixon says, “But we were stuck with the bombing halt that we had inherited from the Johnson administration.

Nixon believes had the bombings occurred sooner, the Vietnam War would have wrapped up in 1969 rather than 1972. When asked about the Watergate Scandal, Nixon felt the matter was small in comparison to his mishandling of Vietnam.

George Washington – Owning Slaves

George Washington became a slave owner at the age of 11 and remained that way throughout the course of his presidency. During his era, many felt slavery was simply a way of life. As Washington aged, however, his view of slavery changed. Late in his life, he claimed slavery was “the only avoidable subject of regret” during the course of his lifetime.

So there ya go. Presidential regrets. Bet ya never thought you’d know this information when you woke up this morning, huh? Shoe: Untied is here for ya, kids.

Fox NewsNorth Korean leader Kim Jong Un warned Tuesday of sending a bigger “gift package” to the United States after laughing and cheering as North Korea successfully launched its third missile test in recent weeks.

North Korea’s official KCNA news agency quoted the rogue leader, saying that Pyongyang would continue to develop its missile program in preparation for a possible attack, Reuters reported.

“He expressed the conviction that it would make a greater leap forward in this spirit to send a bigger ‘gift package’ to the Yankees,” KCNA added.

Kim Jong Un, man. Does the dude even know who our president is? Trump will drop a nuke on that dude so quickly it’ll make his head spin, except he won’t have one at that point. Who does he think he’s dealing with, JFK? Bro doesn’t know what compromise means. Believe me, once Trump quits focusing on “fake news”, his Twitter account and Hillary, he’s going to turn around, take notice of this little twit, and lay down the American hammer. Kim Jong Un, man. Better back off, little man.

So the internet is exploding over The Donald’s supposed “shove” of Prime Minister Milo Dukanovic of Montenegro. Hey, do you think the Trumpster’s gonna stand behind the leader of Montenegro?* Hell no. This is exactly what the people who voted for him want and expect him to do, man. Just knockin’ NATO leaders around like a boss. Seriously though, this just looked like a friendly slap to me. That dude’s lucky Big D didn’t chokeslam him and follow it up with an elbow drop. Montenegro? Get your ass to the end of the line. ‘Murica!

*Montenegro is a country in Europe and it’s beautiful, in case you didn’t know. It was formed in 1992 after the breakup of Yugoslavia. On a related note, I had no idea it existed until 3-minutes ago. 

That little jacket adjustment at the end just topped off the whole move, amirite? Trump, man.

Ever see something that makes you laugh and you don’t really know why? I swear I took one look at this photo and laughed out loud. There’s something about it that just cracks me up. The Pope is sort of turned away, looking miserable or maybe a little perplexed, and The Donald just grinning like a kid who just told on his little brother or conned the American people or something. It’s wild, man. Anywho, maybe it’s just me but I thought I’d share.

PS- Looks like the making of a great reality show, amirite? Watch The Pope & The Donald, just a wacky show about a couple bros and their crazy shenanigans. Wednesdays at 9:00 pm on A&E.

Seems about right.

[click to enlarge]

The Donald. Dude can’t get out of his own way. Just flat tells his Israeli audience he “Just got back from the Middle East.” I swear he doesn’t know Israel is in the Middle East. Geography 101, kids. And check out the Israeli ambassador. Bro looks like Hillary on election night, just flabbergasted like you read about. Trump, man. He keeps blogs like mine alive. God bless him.

On a related note, I never thought I’d miss this guy so much:

Washington Post: Commerce secretary Wilbur Ross offered two highlights from his trip to Saudi Arabia in an interview with CNBC on Monday morning. First, he enjoyed the two bushels of dates he was given by Saudi Arabian security guards and, second, he was pleased that he saw no protester with “a bad placard.”

Perhaps because an American-style protest is illegal in that country and can result in a death sentence.

Ross was using the lack of protesters as an example of how warmly the Trump administration was received in the country.

Hey, how great is Saudi Arabia, huh? No protesters at all! Sure, you can be beheaded if you do but still! No negativity at all, everything was puppies and unicorns. This damn freedom of speech bullshit we practice here in the United States leads to nothing but unnecessary hostility. Maybe President Trump will come back with some great ideas. Wait. Uh-oh . . .

He’s coming for you, Donald.

GQ- Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the highest paid movie star on the planet and a committed dad, told GQ that he’s thinking about running for president of the United States.

“I think that it’s a real possibility,” the “Baywatch” actor confessed. “A year ago, it started coming up more and more. There was a real sense of earnestness, which made me go home and think, ‘Let me really rethink my answer and make sure I am giving an answer that is truthful and also respectful.’”

You know, years ago I would have laughed at this notion. A professional fake wrestler running for leader of the free world? No way he could win, right? Nowadays though, well, things have changed a little haven’t they? I used to think that Arnold being elected Governor of California and Jesse “The Body” Ventura running the show in Minnesota were anomalies, but no more. Not after this whole Donald thing. And hey, The Rock is qualified. After all, he’s a movie star and committed dad. Anyway, I’m going to get in on the ground floor of this “Rock for President” thing, baby.

PS- Seriously, can you imagine Trump vs The Rock in 2020? That would be stellar.

Actually Will Ferrell. Hilarious.

Golf DigestDonald Trump’s Northern Virginia Trump National Golf Club features a plaque between the 14th and 15th holes honoring a Civil War battle at that precise spot. The inscription, signed by Trump, reads:

“Many great American soldiers, both of the North and South, died at this spot. The casualties were so great that the water would turn red and thus became known as ‘The River of Blood.’ It is my great honor to have preserved this important section of the Potomac River!”

Nice sentiment, small problem: there apparently was no such battle.

The NY Times checked with various historians in the area who had trouble tying the site of Trump’s course to any such event.

No. Uh-uh. No way. Nothing like that ever happened there,” Richard Gillespie, the executive director of the Mosby Heritage Area Association, told the Times.

Trump, questioned how historians could dispute the battle, said, How would they know? Were they there?”

Damn it. I only wish I would’ve thought of this logic back when I was a kid:

Mom: “Ralph David, why were you picking on little Howie Perkins at recess?”

Me: “How do you know it was me? Were you there?”

Diabolical.

And hey southerners, still a little defensive about the whole slavery thing? Here’s your answer:

“How can you be certain it happened? Were you there? 

I swear to God I lowkey love this move. It’s so outrageous I almost have to respect it. Just bold as hell. Reminds me of a kid who covers his eyes and believes you can’t see him.

Trump, man. Abe Lincoln he ain’t.

 

Listen, it’s no secret that I think Donald Trump is batshit crazy and the most unfit and unprepared human being to ever be elected leader of the free world. And while I voted for Hillary, I did so whilst looking sideways and holding my nose. Our choices in 2016 weren’t the greatest, man. That said, here’s where we are, with a former reality TV show host as President of the United States and the woman he defeated totally out of touch with reality.

Hillary is out and about again, presumably after 6-months of sitting in a corner and repeating, “I was beaten by an orange guy who grabs women by the pu$$y?”

Well, she was, she’s out, and she still doesn’t grasp what happened. At a Women for Women International conference she was quoted as saying, “I was on the way to winning until FBI Director James Comey’s letter on October 28th raised doubts in voters leaning toward me.” She also said that “Misogyny played a role as well.”

Uh, I hate to tell you this, Hill, but the doubts were already there. Had to be. Oh, I’m sure a few folks changed their minds after that letter, but no way did it swing the election. As far as her gender, of course there are nitwits who wouldn’t vote for a woman regardless, but we all knew that going in, right?

Bottom line, people didn’t trust Hillary Clinton and haven’t for years. She’d been caught in lies and she’s always had this sketchy, phony vibe about her. Say what you want about her husband (who I loved and still love), but he had a charisma that drew voters to him. He could be convincing when he wanted to be (insert Monica Lewinsky joke here), and Hillary has never been able to pull that off. Combine that with Trump telling a lot of people exactly what they wanted to hear and we ended up where we are.

Hillary should just come clean, tell everyone she blew the election, and move on with her life.

But blaming everyone except herself? Big mistake.

Honestly, this may have been the moment she lost the election.

So our esteemed president had a little run-in at the White House recently. Check out the hilarious video first:

See, here’s where Donnie gets in trouble. Twitter Trump and President Trump are two entirely different people. A few months ago The Donald woke up, heard something from someone he passed in the hallway, shot out a couple tweets about Obama illegally wiretapping, and he’s been hammered about it ever since. Here John Dickerson is grilling him in the Oval Office about his own words and things went downhill quickly. He clearly can’t take it and he hates being called on it. Last week he said that the presidency is harder than he thought, that it’s more work than his previous job. Gee, ya think? Being the leader of the free world is a bitch, man. You have to be, you know, held accountable and stuff. That’s not fair, man. Get the hell out of my office.

PS-  I love the “everybody’s talking about it” line. That’s so Trump it hurts.

 

Well, it’s about damn time The Donald is getting some good advice. Hey, his Healthcare bill failed, and even though he controls the House and Senate that fail was the pesky Democrat’s fault. Anywho, that’s all in the past because help has arrived. In a move I rank right up there with Jimmy Carter having Charlie Daniels into the White House, The Donald has brought the high-powered political triumvirate of Kid Rock, Sarah Palin and the Motor City Madman himself, Mr. Ted Nugent into his circle of power. Rest well, America. Our country is in good hands.

PS- Seriously, of the four people in that photo below I’d take Kid Rock as president in a heartbeat. At least Uncle Kracker would have his ear.

Check out the turnouts for the Patriot’s last two White House visits, man. And where the hell was Brady today? I thought he was a Trump guy. That’s sad, man. Listen, I don’t know what this says about our reality TV show star turned leader of the free world, but I do know that was an embarrassing effort by the Pats at the White House today. The Donald is our president, man. Show some respect.

PS- I hate the Patriots, but I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t go either. On a related note, it sorta reminds me of the inauguration crowd comparisons. That photo is below, too. SAD!

PPS- Honestly, I have no idea what this means but I find it hilarious because you know how much Trump hates it. He probably already has his boy Spicer ready to spin that it was the most well-attended Super Bowl Champ visit ever. 

*Not really, but I knew a lot of people wouldn’t click on a link about bananas, and this blog is about bananas. It’s a banana blog. However, since you’re here you might as well stick around, right? After all, Shoe:Untied prides itself on its eclecticism. It also prides itself in using words like eclecticism. Full Disclosure: I originally typed eclecticness but spell check kept telling me I was dumb. But seriously, stick around. On to the bananas…

Bananas, man. Did you know they’re consistently the #1 selling item at Walmart superstores? True story. Bananas have been around the USA forever, true?

False.

Americans were first introduced to bananas in 1873. Think about that, man. Abe Lincoln never had a banana. That’s wild.

Anywho, author Jules Verne introduced bananas to us in his novel Around the World in 80 Days, which was eventually turned into a movie starring Jose′ Greco but that’s neither here nor there. In the book, Verne described bananas as being “as healthy as bread and as succulent as cream.” Perhaps an overstatement but people were intrigued, man.

Fun Fact:  The scientific name for banana is musa sapientum, which means “fruit of the wise men.” Cool. Plus banana is way more fun to say.

Bananas were originally from Asia but were brought to Central America by the Spanish along with smallpox, measles, mumps, whooping cough, influenza, chicken pox, typhus, and oh yes, slavery. Good times.

Actually some people from our country had eaten bananas, but very, very few. Why, you ask? Because it took too long for them to get here and they would go bad. Of course that all changed later with steamships and airplanes and whatnot, and by then we could all enjoy the wonder that is the banana.

There was a downside, of course. The big banana companies used the governments of the countries where the bananas were grown for their own good, manipulating and bribing the politicians, organizing coups, and exploiting their workers. Basically, the companies stunted the country’s growth and cultivated a corrupt form of so-called capitalism. A lot of the problems in places like Colombia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, and Honduras still continue today. Sad really. On a related note, that’s where we got the term  “Banana Republic” which is defined as ” A small country, especially one in Central America or the West Indies, that is dependent on a single export commodity (traditionally bananas) and that has a corrupt, dictatorial government.”

Random thought: Are Banana Republic stores still a thing? I haven’t seen one in awhile.

Before you go, take a look at this awesome banana trivia:

  • Rubbing the inside of a banana peel on a mosquito bite or on poison ivy will help keep it from itching and getting inflamed.
  • Rubbing the inside of a banana peel on a scrape or burn will help the pain go away, keep the swelling down, and keep the wound from getting infected.
  • Bananas don’t actually grow on trees—they grow on plants that are officially classified as an herb. They’re in the same family as lilies, orchids, and palms, and are actually berries.
  • The band Bananarama had a #1 hit song with “Venus” in 1986. Thought I’d throw that in there.

So now you know more about bananas than you did 5-minutes ago. Your life has been enriched ways you never have imagined when you awakened from your slumber this morning. You’re welcome.

PS- On a personal note, is it odd that I like to eat a banana but I hate anything banana flavored or anything with bananas in it? The world is a vast, complex and confusing place, man.

PPS- Next up, my Beet blog. Stay tuned.

 

 

Yep. Five years today. Hard to believe, really. After months of meticulous and careful planning, conducting arduous interviews while assembling my crack staff, and clearing a myriad of government regulations, we launched Shoe: Untied on an unsuspecting world.

Since that warm, sparkling Spring Day back in 2012 I’ve posted over 5,300 times and have been viewed by citizens from all over the world. For reasons unbeknownst to me, our humble little site is very popular in Belgium and the Philippines. I know, that makes absolutely no sense to me either.

The site has had as many as 300,000 hits in a single day as we’ve covered sports, politics, education, history, kids, animals, music, entertainment, and God knows what else. We’ve posted original writing, weird, funny and outrageous videos, and we’re 87.3% sure Lebron James himself messaged us to defend himself once.

I’ve received death threats and angry messages from racists, nazis, clowns, midgets, Trump supporters, fans of Peter Cetera, the People of Facebook, and angry mothers of high school bowlers.

The other day somebody made the comment on Facebook (after I’d made fun of something or other) that we, “Shouldn’t judge.” My response? “If I can’t judge I should probably shut down my website.” Honestly, that’s true. A large percentage of my content is making fun of people. Not sure what that says about me, and I may not want to know.

I’ve also received some great response from stuff I’ve written that sort of came straight from the heart, blogs like Remembering Andy, Jigger, Jigger’s Tree, Sara’s Last Wish, Trusting Robbie, A Man called Pop, A Right Cross, With Love, “You Saved Me, You Know“, Losing Tim, and WE ARE PAINT VALLEY.

See, I might just have a heart after all.

Of course, a lot of my writing is an attempt at humor, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Some of my more popular humorous blogs include Regarding Beach MidgetsTop 40 Eternal Musical Questions Answered! Sort of.OSU vs. Michigan and the Road Trip to End All Road TripsDodgeball: A Microcosm of LifeAn Incident at the MallHow a Convict Killed My Relationship, But Probably Saved Me In the Long Run, The All-Time Cartoon Football Team, My Reviews of the VMA Awards, and many more.

Of course, a lot of my writing involves my best friend, a 25-pound bundle of smarts and energy called Sparky. Just type is name into the search box up there to read all about him. Fair warning though – you might be up all night. I’ve written about that pup a lot.

A few of my articles have been picked up by newspapers and national websites, so that’s always cool. One piece, Requiem for a Tradition: The Demise of High School Sports, was linked to on The Big Lead, nationally prominent sports website.

Of course, sprinkled throughout has been funny, interesting or just plain strange videos, new articles with my commentary, and various other weirdness. I’ve had regular features like Cool Animal of the Day, Map of the Day, Incredible Photo of the Day, music videos, and a bunch of other stuff. I read somewhere once that if people visit a website 3-4 times and nothing new has been added they don’t come back, hence the crazy filler stuff.

Honestly though, writing is therapeutic for me. It’s an outlet that, quite frankly, I need. Is there ego involved? Absolutely. I get a thrill out of getting good feedback when I write something that touches somebody enough to make them cry, laugh, or feel something. Hell, I even get a kick out of the people I piss off. You know, except that one insane lady. She actually scared me a little.

All in all, though, the whole thing has been a positive experience. I’ve made a bunch of new friends a few new enemies in the last 5-years, I think more of the former than the latter.

I think.

Will this site make it another 5-years? Who knows. But hey, I’ll give it a shot, and hopefully you’ll hang around with me.

Especially my good friends in Belgium and the Philippines.