Posts Tagged ‘More proof that people are getting dumber.’

I swear to God people are getting dumber.

Oh good Lord.


So last Saturday evening I was at a local establishment having a burger and watching football with a couple of 1friends. The game we were watching was Northwestern vs. Michigan, and Northwestern was wearing those special uniforms that teams are so fond of these days. These particular uniforms were made by Under Armour and were created to promote the Wounded Warrior Project and honor our veterans. It’s important to know that the players’ last names on the back of each jersey were replaced with one of seven “core value” qualities: Duty, Honor, Courage, Commitment, Integrity, Country and Service. In addition, the jerseys were to be auctioned off after the game with the proceeds going to the Wounded Warrior Project.

Cool idea, right? But that’s not the point of this story.

So I’m sitting there at the table when a middle-aged couple walks in and sits at the table beside us. After a few minutes I hear the following conversation:

Man: “Oh look. Cool uniforms. Is that the Army team or something?”

Woman: “I don’t know. But I think it’s neat that they have a player named Courage on the team. That sort of fits with being a soldier, you know? Very nice.”

Then, a few minutes later . . .

Woman: “Look! They have another player named Duty! That fits too!  I wonder if they actually recruit these players because of their names?”

Oh Lord. At this point I’m dying to explain things to them but I couldn’t wait to see where this would lead. And then . . .

Woman: “Doug, look! LOOK! That guy’s name is Service! This can’t be a coincidence! They have to be recruiting kids with names that reflect the values of soldiers. They just have to be!”

All the while Doug is just sitting there, head cocked, knowing something’s amiss but it’s as if he simply couldn’t put his finger on it.

Now I’m just fighting the urge to scream, “STOP IT!” But I wait. And finally, to my amazement I hear this:

Woman: “Are you shitting me? That guy’s name is Commitment . . .”

But I couldn’t let her finish. I had to interrupt with a quick turn in my chair and a raise of the hand and no, I didn’t hit her. Instead I gently explained the situation as best I could as they listened attentively. Then came this response:

Man, slapping the table: “I KNEW something was wrong! I KNEW it!”

Woman: “Oh.”

I swear to God she was actually disappointed.