Ever Heard Of Pablo Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos?

Daily Beast – Up to 100 hippopotamuses, all descended from four animals illegally imported into Colombia by the cocaine smuggler Pablo Escobar in the late 1980s, are menacing Colombia’s marshlands and river systems.

Scientists told The Daily Telegraph that the country must now must cull the aggressive “cocaine hippos” that roam the Magdalena river basin, as they are breeding voraciously in the country’s wet and warm climate. In their natural African habitat, hippos have to contend with a long dry season.

Escobar, who was said to be worth a staggering $25-billion at his height, making him the seventh richest man in the world, was known for buying lavish gifts and boasted about literally burning money on occasion to keep his family warm. In 2020, a nephew found a plastic bag with $18-million hidden in the wall of one of his old houses. His zoo, complete with elephants and hippopotamuses, was just one more indulgence.

When he was shot dead in 1993 the Colombian government took control of his estate including the animals, most of which were either euthanized or sent to zoos and parks.

Four renegade hippos, however, living in a remote pond, escaped the cull. Now there are dozens of them living in the wild. The exact number is unknown but the Telegraph puts the number at between 80 and 100, which it says makes them the largest invasive species on the planet. Their numbers will swell to almost 1,500 by 2040 if they are not controlled.

Hippos are famously aggressive and kill more people annually than any other African mammal.

One mooted method of controlling the hippos, sterilization, has been unsuccessful—owing to the fact that male hippos have retractable testes.

OK, a few things here. First off, the term “renegade hippos” sounds sort of horrifying, right? Packs of hippos just storming the Colombian countryside and menacing the locals? Secondly, hippos have retractable testes? Guess that might come in handy when a line drive is heading your way or when you’re teaching your kid to swing a baseball bat. Finally, if I was worth 25-billion I don’t think my first thought would be to buy a bunch of hippos, but what do I know? Different strokes for different folks, that’s my credo. Anywho, I can’t blame Escobar’s Coacine Hippos for running roughshod over a third world. corruption filled, poverty and crime ridden country. Hippos gonna be hippos.

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