Dead Man Found In Supermarket Had Been There For 10-years. Allegedly.

Not Larry.

(CNN) Workers removing shelves and coolers from a No Frills Supermarket in Council Bluffs, Iowa, in January discovered a body behind one of them.

The remains were recently identified as those of Larry Ely Murillo-Moncada, a former employee who had been reported missing November 28, 2009.

Investigators used his parents’ DNA to confirm the identity, and the clothes matched the description of his attire at the time he was reported missing, according to Council Bluffs Police Capt. Todd Weddum.

Investigators now believe that Murillo-Moncada went to the supermarket and climbed on top of the coolers. The space was used as storage for merchandise, Weddum said, and employees would sometimes go there to hide when they wanted to take an unofficial break. He is thought to have fallen into the 18-inch gap between the back of the cooler and a wall, where he became trapped. Noise from the coolers’ compressors may have concealed any attempts to call for help, according to Weddum.

Man, talk about burying the lead. Sure, I can see a dead guy being overlooked behind a freezer. Not exactly an everyday occurrence but I guess it could happen. And I can sort of buy the theory that he couldn’t be heard over the noise of the compressors. Sort of. What I can’t buy is the fact that a guy lay rotting behind a cooler for 10-years and nobody smelled anything. Hey, I’ve smelled dead bodies before. It’s a pretty distinctive aroma, lemme tell ya. Hard to miss to put it mildly. And they said store employees were up there all the time? Doesn’t add up. Something smells fishy, dude.

PS- I tried to come up with a line about the store’s name but I couldn’t pull it off. No Frills + Dead Guy. There has to be a joke in there somewhere. 

PPS- “Frill” is one of those words we always use with “no.” Nobody ever says, “I want a lot of frills” or something like that. Weird.