Posts Tagged ‘Driver’s License’

Actual photo of Big Burly, except not really.

Ever laugh so hard you cry? Ever happen at the License Bureau? That’s what I thought. But it happened to me.

My son had just turned 16 and I took him to Chillicothe to take his driving test. No big deal, hell, he’d been driving on his stepfather’s farm for years. He was good to go . . . until we pulled into the License Bureau. It all started as we were sitting in the parking lot waiting to go in for the test. Well, he was waiting to go in, I was going to wait in the car. As we’re waiting a big, bearded, burly, tattooed gentlemen walks by the front of the car. The guy glanced at me and looked away, then snapped his head back around, stopping dead in his tracks.

“Mr. Shoe? Is that you? MR. SHOE!”

He then runs to my car door, I hop out, and suddenly I’m on the receiving end of a bear-hug to end all bear-hugs. Turns out Big Burly was a former student who claimed I’d nurtured him through some tough spots during my days teaching in Greenfield. I barely remembered him but apparently he remembered in detail the words of advice I’d given him because he proceeded to recount them in detail. Then he looks in the car:

“Kip? Is that you? Holy Jesus! The last time I saw you you were barely walking, dude! KIP! Get over here!”

At that point the bear-hug treatment was repeated with my son, who was looking over the dude’s shoulder at me, like, “Dad, you have some maniacally loyal former students.” He was also probably thinking, “Is he going to let me go?”

So far this has just a heartwarming story of a teacher and a former student, correct? Not so fast my friend. You’re about to see just how loyal some of them can be. The guy then asked what we were doing and I told him Kip was there to get his license, blah-blah-blah. He seemed genuinely concerned and proceeded to tell Kip not to worry, he’d pass with no problem, that it had only taken him 3-times to get his license. He then wished Kip good luck, gave us both a couple more bear-hugs, and was on his way.

Or so we thought.

Kip went on in to take the written portion of the test, followed by the parking and then driving. Finally, he emerged from the Bureau, sits in my car, and immediately put his head in his hands.

Me: “What’s wrong? Did you fail?”

Son: “Oh no, I passed. You’re not going to believe what happened though.”

He then began to tell me the story, stopping frequently to laugh his ass off. It seems all was well until he walked out to take the parking test. He got in the car and put it in reverse. As he looked in the sideview mirror he saw it. Or rather, saw him. Big Burly was behind the car, looking at Kip. He was crouched over so that although the instructor couldn’t see him (theoretically), he was visible to Kip in the mirror. He was motioning with both hands to pull the car on back slowly. The realization then hit my son. Dad’s buddy is using hand signals to try and help me park. Kip, realizing he’d flunk the test if the instructor saw the guy, immediately looked to the passenger side mirror to avoid eye-contact. No luck. The guy simply leaped to the other side of the car. This went on until, somehow, Kip got the car parked perfectly. To this day it’s a mystery how the instructor didn’t see the guy, but Kip got through the parking test unscathed.

After he got the car parked, Kip then pulled out to take the driving portion of the test. As he did so, there was Big Burly walking nonchalantly up the sidewalk, just struttin’ like he owned the joint. As Kip drove by the guy glanced over, winked, and gave the thumbs-up sign, confident in the fact that he had just helped Mr. Shoe’s son pass that driving test.

And who knows, maybe he did.

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