Dog Sees Giant Cat, Proceeds To Do What Dogs Do

Page Six: A dog ran amok at Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cats” this week. Sources at the Neil Simon Theatre tell us an audience member’s service dog named Zeus “got away from its owner and ran after Bombalurina during the opening number.” Luckily, a fast-moving usher intervened and returned the wayward canine to its mortified owner. 

Listen, if you’re dumb enough to dress like a cat you deserve to be chased by a dog. Dude was just doing what dogs do – protecting his owner. He saw a giant cat running around up there and decided danger was afoot. I’m just sad that Zeus didn’t catch Bombalurina and end the show in bloodshed right then and there.

PS- Only these idiots would have a show called “Cats” and none called “Dogs.” Broadway, man.

PPS- I’d never go see “Cats” because there’s a scene where they come in the audience and sit on your lap. I’m afraid I’d punch one of the cats right in the throat.