Archive for the ‘The Supernatural’ Category

You’ve all heard of the 1980s movie Gremlins, right? What you may not know is that the little creatures in the movie were based upon allegedly real entities which, during the World War II and even before, plagued pilots with all manner of mischief and outright vandalism. In the skies of WWII crews of various aircrafts from all sides described seeing essentially the same thing –  bizarre impish beasts that were there with the sole intent of causing enough problems to bring down airplanes from the sky.

One of the first mentions of the creatures can be traced back to the early 1900s in a British newspaper called the Spectator:

The old Royal Naval Air Service in 1917 and the newly constituted Royal Air Force in 1918 appear to have detected the existence of a horde of mysterious and malicious sprites whose whole purpose in life was to bring about as many as possible of the inexplicable mishaps which, in those days as now, trouble an airman’s life.

Yikes. That’s wild stuff. The legend of the gremlins really took off in 1923 when a British pilot crashed his plane into the sea and later reported that the accident had been caused by tiny creatures which had followed him aboard his plane, created havoc, sabotaged the engine, messed around with the flight controls, and ultimately caused the plane to crash.

That story spread, and it wasn’t long before other British pilots began to complain of being harassed by similar miniature troll-like creatures with a mastery of technology and machinery which caused engine failures, electrical malfunctions, communications shutdowns, bad landings, freak accidents, and pretty much anything else that could possibly ever go wrong with an aircraft.

Gremlins were also said to engage in such a bunch of bad behavior like sucking the gas out of tanks through hoses, jamming radio frequencies, screwing up landing gear, blowing dust or sand into fuel pipes or sensitive electrical equipment, cutting wires, removing bolts or screws, tinkering with dials, knobs or switches, jostling controls, slashing wings or tires, poking or pinching gunners or pilots, banging incessantly on the fuselage, breaking windows, and a wide variety of other crazy acts.

They were also reported to be seen sitting out upon the nose of the plane or the wings of aircraft in midflight tampering with the wings or even the engines. On occasion the gremlins were said to shout, giggle, whisper, growl, or otherwise make noise so as to distract aircraft crews. Bottom line, by the end of the 1920s almost anyone who flew a plane had claimed to have seen the little beasts.

One of the most famous alleged gremlin accounts from this period was made by none other than Charles Lindbergh as he was taking his historic nonstop solo flight over the Atlantic from New York to Paris in May of 1927. In the 9th hour of his flight Lindbergh reported that he suddenly found himself surrounded by several strange looking beings in his cockpit, and they spoke to him and demonstrated incredibly complex knowledge of navigation and flight equipment. In this case, however, rather than cause mischief, Lindbergh said that the gremlins actually kept him alert and reassured him that he would remain safe on his journey.

Lindbergh kept this experience to himself for years until the account was finally published in his 1953 book The Spirit of St. Louis.

What did Gremlins look like, you ask? Well, actually the little monsters in the Gremlin movie were based on their description. They were said to look animalistic, with hairy bodies, large, pointed ears, deep red or even glowing eyes, and horns. Other reports spoke of gremlins as having hairless grey skin, being sort of reptilian in appearance, and having enormous mouths filled with pointy teeth. Some were even described as having bat-like wings. Holy moly.

One common trait in all reports is that through whatever means, gremlins were known to be able to adhere to the outer fuselage of planes and to withstand incredible temperature extremes, high altitudes, and violent winds.

Gremlins seemed to reach their peak during World War II when reports reached an all-time high. In fact, during the Battle of Britain gremlin reports were so prevalent that the British Air Ministry acknowledged the problem and even made serious attempts to investigate the phenomenon.

Hell, the Ministry even went as far as to have a service manual written up by a gloriously named “Gremlorist,” Percy Prune, which included the creatures’ exploits, how to placate or distract them, and various ways to avoid accidents due to their presence. You cannot make this stuff up, folks.

It wasn’t just the British who saw the little pranksters, either. German pilots saw them, Americans too, and the only common denominator was that they were almost always seen over European soil or water. Strange but true.

One of the stories told by an American pilot is a rather chilling one. He said he looked outside to his right and saw a freakish “entity” outside of the plane’s window and latched onto the plane. He described a creature that was about 3-feet tall with abnormally long arms, grey hairless skin, deep red eyes, a gaping mouth full of teeth, and pointed ears with tufts of black hair at the ends like “owl ears.” He said it was just staring in at him from beyond the glass. When the terrified pilot looked to the nose of the aircraft he was astonished to see yet another one of the creatures apparently dancing about out there and pounding away haphazardly at the fuselage. He said that the strange creatures appeared to be laughing maniacally, and that they gleefully cavorted about outside of his plane pulling on whatever they could get their clawed hands on, banging on the aircraft with all of their might, obviously trying their best to bring the plane down.

Good God almighty.

Crazy stuff, man. So what are gremlins? A figment of a bunch of pilot’s imaginations? What were all of these people seeing or experiencing? It’s been pointed out that the lack of adequate pressurization of aircraft back in those days may have led to hallucinations, but why would so any people have basically the same hallucination? Some have said that gremlins may have been an excuse for human error, with pilots blaming accidents on these creatures. “Captain, I was doing one helluva job flying my plane until those damn gremlins made me crash.” Seriously?

To this day nobody knows for certain, but one thing is undeniable – to thousands of pilots who flew back in the early 1920s up through to the end of World War II, gremlins were real.

So, next time you’re flying somewhere and feel a little turbulence or bouncing of the plane, or maybe you hear a strange noise outside, take a gander out the window. You just might see a gremlin peering back at you.

PS: You know the old Twilight Zone episode where the monster is on the wing? It was inspired by gremlins. A couple pics above were taken from the 80s remake of that episode.

PPS: Disney even had a book about gremlins. That’s cray-cray.

 

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NY Times — In the $600-billion annual Defense Department budgets, the $22-million spent on the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program was almost impossible to find, which was exactly how the Pentagon wanted it.

For years, the program investigated reports of unidentified flying objects, according to Defense Department officials, interviews with program participants and records obtained by The New York Times. It was run by a military intelligence official, Luis Elizondo, on the fifth floor of the Pentagon’s C Ring, deep within the building’s maze.

The Defense Department has never before acknowledged the existence of the program. 

“Hmmm. Is it aliun or alien?”

Well, well, well. For years our government has denied that UFOs exist, yet all the while operating the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program deep within the bowels of the Pentagon. Guys just investigating aliens like you read about. And you just know they’ve found something and aren’t telling us. I guarantee they have photos of alien craft or maybe even have knowledge of aliens among us. Then again, I think they have to brief the president on this stuff, right? If so that really clouds the issue because you just know that upon hearing anything cool Trump would tweet about it within minutes. No way he could keep that knowledge to himself. Trump, man. Shoots out tweets like a 5th grader, except with poorer grammar.

PS- I’m sure you read my acclaimed blog titled Aliens Among Us. In it I laid out my theory that they’re here and living with us. We all know a couple. With that in mind, here are my top 5 possibilities of aliens living among us:

  1. Oprah. Of course Oprah’s an alien, except when they made her up to look like a humanoid they made her head too damn big, a dead giveaway. Clearly not human.
  2. Ryan Seacrest. You know how I’m certain he’s an alien? It’s those

    Seacrest, man.

    staring, soulless eyes. Chills, man.

  3. Tom Cruise. Come on man. He’s a Scientologist. They believe that a galactic being named Xenu brought billions of people from a “Galactic Confederacy” to earth in spaceships shaped like jet airplanes. Xenu then stacked the people around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. The people didn’t die though, they became spirits that have caused harm to humans for 75-million years now. Dead serious. Look it up. Anywho, alien. Duh.
  4. Steve Buscemi. Obvious choice, amirite? Please. Dude has eyes that bore right through you. And I’m pretty sure a young apprentice alien was in charge of his mouth. Just a poor effort there.
  5. Christopher Walken. Ever notice how he really tries to talk normally but struggles putting sentences together? Yeah, me too. And once again, the eyes give it away. Not only is Walken obviously an alien, he may actually be their leader. It’s definitely him or a former administrator at the school where I taught. Anyway, Walken? No brainer there.

First, watch the video:

Wait. What just happened? That’s physically impossible. Dude floated back up like a damn ghost or something. That’s some supernatural shit right there, man. And the player from the Chiefs knew. Look at how he looked at Zay Jones. He was flabbergasted. Here’s what happened – Zay Jones forgot he was pretending to be human and acted exactly how an alien from God-knows-where would act. Hey, I wrote about these people recently. I ain’t dumb.

Today’s scary scene comes from the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In the film, aliens had slowly taken over the bodies of humans and Nancy and Matthew are the only people left. She spots Matthew, who had wiped out almost all of the aliens, in a park. This was the final scene of the movie, and it was a stunner.

Our third entry comes from the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, and it happens to be the opening scene. Just a wild beginning to the movie, as it shows the start of the Zombie Apocalypse in a horrifyingly chilling way. After all, what’s worse than waking up to find your little daughter has joined the walking dead?

PS- My favorite scene in this movie is when the group hiding in the mall are joined by a guy who’s been outside amongst the zombies. Somebody asks, “Are they dead?” And he replies, “Uh, dead-ish.”

Quite simply one of the most chilling, life-altering scenes of all-time. Anyone who has viewed it cannot be in an empty hotel hallway without thinking about the scene when Little Danny peddled his three-wheeler around the hotel. It’s not just the smooth, ominous low-to-the-floor shots that track behind Danny, giving you the sense that someone is right behind him. It’s the silence: Hearing the wheels go from carpeting to floor to carpeting to floor, you feel the enormous emptiness of the hotel-which then sets you up perfectly for when he turns that one corner and there they are: Those spooky Grady girls. Chills, man.

Since All Hallows’ Eve is approaching, my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied has put together a list of the scariest, most bone-chilling scenes in cinematic history. Today’s entry is a suggestion from Zhang Wei, our ace down in accounting. Enjoy . . .

Aliens Among Us

Posted: September 5, 2017 in Humor, The Supernatural, The Unknown, WTF?
Tags:

We all know at least one person like this. Every one of us. It’s that person at work or school, maybe the guy who lives around the corner or works at the bank, maybe it’s the mother of one of your kid’s friends you see at basketball games. Not to get too personal, but perhaps it’s my boss from 10-years ago.

It’s that person that, when you try to communicate with them, you get nothing. No connection. When you talk they stare at you with black, soulless eyes and a face that doesn’t seem to understand a word you’re saying. Sometimes their responses don’t match what you just said to them. For whatever reason, the communication between you is just a little . . . off.

You’re all thinking of someone you know right now, aren’t you?  Yeah, that guy.

Here’s my hypothesis regarding this phenomenon – these people are aliens. They’ve come here clandestinely and taken over certain human bodies at a young age, and although they’ve been trained to be humans, they just can’t quite pull it off. They’re close, but they’re j-u-s-t a tick off.

Now you’re really thinking of somebody you know, aren’t you? They’re aliens, man. Sorta like in Men in Black.

Here’s what’s going to happen. When the Alien Mothership arrives, these are the people who are going to walk down the line of humans and point out those of us who will be taken aboard the Mothership and away to our eventual slaughter.

Sorry kids. You didn’t really think this was going to have a happy ending, did you?

PS- Before I get a nasty message from an idiot over in England (seems like I get a lot of those from England) or somewhere, I’m kidding.

PPS- Sort of.

PPPS- Belgians love me. So there.

Before we begin, let us simply recall the iconic opening to every episode of one of the most amazing TV shows of all-time, The Twilight Zone . . .

Yes, there were variations of the same opening, but you get the gist.

I recorded the Twilight Zone Marathon recently, and I just finished watching nearly 70-episodes. There were 156 total, but these were deemed some of the best. I learned a few things while watching, and the most striking of these was that Rod Serling got away with a lot of crazy and outrageous stuff.  More on that later.

I also learned that lots of stars and future stars were on the show. People like Mickey Rooney, William Shatner, Ron Howard, Burt Reynolds, Carol Burnett, Buster Keaton, Robert Redford, Dennis Hopper, Leonard Nimoy, Lee Marvin, and Don Rickles all guest starred. The décor – early 60’s Mad Men style.

Another aspect that stood out was the introductions and closing remarks by Serling. Just incredible writing. Here’s a sample:

Nobody else, and I mean nobody, could pull that off like Serling. Love it. Here’s a sample of one of his closing monologues:

Again, so well done.

It was also amazing how Serling touched on political issues of the day. Some episodes even touched on World War II and the treatment of Jews.  This was just 15-18 years after the war, and the scenes were brutal. They spoke of the experiments done on prisoners and everything. Pretty incredible for such a conservative era.

That said, I’ll now give you my 12 favorite Twilight Zone episodes. Let us commence . . .

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet

William Shatner (later to become Captain Kirk in Star Trek) stars in what might be the most famous and revered of all Twilight Zone episodes. He plays a man traveling aboard a commercial flight with his wife. He spots a monster on the wing, trying to damage it. He tries to alert the crew and other passengers to the potential danger lurking just outside his window seat. However, the clever being makes sure to fly out of view every time someone else peers through the glass, leaving Shatner to look foolish and delusional. In typical Twilight Zone fashion, the final shot is the killer. As Shatner is taken away on a stretcher, the camera pans away showing actual damage the monster has done to the wing. Awesome. On a related note, the shot where Shatner has closed the window, only to open it to see the monster’s face pressed against the window scared the bejesus out of me.

Note- Watching it now, the “monster” appears to have been created by a 5th grade art class. Still a classic episode.

Living Doll

This episode is always referred to as “Talking Tina” and it was the single scariest thing I’d ever seen in my life. Trust me, as a 6-year old this was just petrifying and life-altering to witness. I still hate dolls to this day because of this show. In this one Telly Savalas plays a man who isn’t a fan of his stepdaughter’s new “Talky Tina” doll, especially after the doll starts telling him she’s going to kill him. What follows is a twisted domestic drama powered by the actions of an evil toy. There have been dozens of TV shows and movies that have told stories about talking dolls since, but Rod Serling’s take is still the best by far. Believe me, I haven’t looked at a doll the same since.

The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street

Ah, another great one that asks the viewers to decide who the real monsters are, the alien invaders or their very own friends and neighbors? “Monsters” finds the residents of an unnamed town in a panic when they conclude an alien invasion is afoot, and it began because of a loud noise and a power outage. Rather than team up to combat the terror from beyond the stars, they succumb to paranoia and vigilante-like behavior, leading their invaders to conclude that the best way to destroy mankind is to let us do the deed ourselves. Rod Serling, who wrote the episode, summed it up best in the closing narration, making a social point as he often did:

“The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, and prejudices — to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill. And suspicion can destroy. And a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own – for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is, that these things cannot be confined . . . to the Twilight Zone.”

Wow.

The Invaders

In this one, a poor impoverished woman (Agnes Moorehead, who went on to play the mother on Bewitched) lives alone in a rustic cabin. She is dressed shabbily, and there are no modern conveniences in evidence. After hearing a strange noise above her kitchen roof, she is attacked by small intruders that come from a miniature flying saucer that has landed on her rooftop. Two tiny figures about 6-inches high, which may be robots or beings wearing pressure suits, emerge from the craft. As a kid this was creepy as hell. Anyway, the small figures attack the woman, using small, pistol-like weapons that leave radiation burns on her skin, and, after following her into her cabin, slashing her ankle and hand with her own kitchen knife. The suspense builds as the woman searches for the invaders. She eventually destroys one, wrapping it in a blanket and beating it until it is still, then throwing it into the burning fireplace. She follows the other to the saucer-ship on her roof, which she proceeds to attack with a hatchet. From within the craft, she hears a voice speaking in English. These are the first words we’ve heard the whole episode, and the intruder knows he’s about to die. He then proceeds to frantically warn other potential visitors that the planet is inhabited by giants and they are impossible to defeat. Then comes the kicker. The camera pans slowly away to reveal the markings on the side of the ship, which reads U.S. Air Force Space Probe No. 1. You see, the invaders were human astronauts from Earth, and the woman in the small farmhouse belongs to a race of giant humanoids native to another planet. Another shocking ending.

The Bewitchin’ Pool

In my mind, one of most unforgettable of all the Twilight Zone episodes. A young girl and her little brother live in a beautiful suburban home, complete with a large swimming pool. Their parents are cold, short tempered, and forever fighting in front of their children. One day, a boy pops up from the deep end of their pool and invites them to follow him. Wait. What? The children then follow by diving underwater and surface in a beautiful countryside. It is simple and plain, and unlike their spectacular home. There are no adults except for a kindly woman who bakes desserts and offers kind words. The children go back home through the swimming pool because they’re worried that their parents have missed them. They break through the water to find that their neglectful parents haven’t even noticed that they were gone. The children return again to the idyllic countryside by diving through the pool, and this time, they stay. Their parents search for them in the pool, but never find them. The children remain happily ever after, cared for and loved, in this paradise. It wasn’t until I watched this episode as an adult that I saw that it could be perceived as legitimizing childhood suicide in response to bad parenting, and a child’s simple wish to get the hell away. No way this would be broadcast today.

The Hitch-Hiker

Another terrifying example of the plot twists Twilight Zone was known for. We begin with a young woman traveling alone cross country trip. She blows a tire and when she takes her car in for repairs, we get a hint that something is amiss when the mechanic tells her she should have called a hearse, not a car repair service. She drives on, but keeps seeing a man hitchhiking no matter how far she drives. Shaken, she finally stops and calls her mother, only to be told that her mother had a nervous breakdown when her daughter was killed in a car accident 6-days ago. She is in disbelief, but returns to her car, where the hitchhiker awaits her. She ultimately realizes that the hitchhiker is death, patiently waiting for her. What I see now that I didn’t see then is that you can’t outrun fate. In the unforgettable final scene, Nan returns to the car and looks in the vanity mirror on the visor. Instead of her reflection, she sees the hitchhiker. He looks at her and asks, “I believe you’re going my way?” Jeebus.

After Hours

There is another episode I can directly blame for one of my phobias and that is my fear of mannequins. In a department store, there is a 9th floor for no one else but the store’s mannequins. Once a month, they take turns living as humans in the real world. When their time is up, they return to the 9th floor, except for the day that Mannequin Marcy decides she likes being human too much and is not going back. My older and wiser take on it now? Serling was telling us that, sometimes, a small taste of honey is worse than none at all.

Time Enough at Last

What a great, great episode that is often ranked as the best Twilight Zone ever. Burgess Meredith stars as Henry Bemis — a man who just wants to get away from the everyday world and bury his nose in a good book. Henry gets his wish one day when the rest of humanity is wiped out in a nuclear attack. He soon discovers an untouched library — a place where he can read in peace for the rest of his existence. Thrilled with his discovery, Bemis settles in. As he gets ready to crack open his first book, the worst happens – he breaks his glasses. Virtually blind, Bemis is now stuck in a world with all the time and books he could ever want and no way to enjoy them. Damn you Rod Serling!

To Serve Man

Another classic. In this episode, mankind has seemingly found a kindly alien savior in the form of the Kanamits — a race of towering space travelers who are all too willing to help Earth get rid of the problems of hunger and war. But their personal manifesto, a book entitled To Serve Man, isn’t the guide for peace that everyone thought it to be. As the woman who figured it all out yells at the end of the episode, “It’s a cookbook! IT’S A COOKBOOK!” Ah, to serve man. It all made chilling sense in the end.

It’s a Good Life

Bill Mumy was absolutely terrifying as the 6-year-old Anthony Freemont, a boy with incredible psychic powers who holds everyone around him under his power. Little Anthony could simply think you out of existence for displeasing him. He was some sort of godlike child with the ability to read minds, make people disappear, mutate other living beings, and control the weather. The adults obviously tiptoe around the temperamental kid, but it never really matters, because he’s six, and six-year-olds aren’t particularly rational in the first place, amirite? Here’s Serling closing quote:

No comment here, no comment at all. We only wanted to introduce you to one of our very special citizens, little Anthony Fremont, age 6, who lives in a village called Peaksville in a place that used to be Ohio. And if by some strange chance you should run across him, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, because if you do meet Anthony, you can be sure of one thing – You have entered The Twilight Zone.”

The Eye of the Beholder

I watched this as a kid and it terrified me for weeks. A young woman undergoes surgery to improve her appearance and look like everyone else. She spends most of the episode swathed in head bandages as shadowy doctors and nurses talk around her. She’s terrified they won’t be able to make her beautiful. When the wraps are removed, the doctors proclaim the procedure a complete failure — but the audience sees the lovely Donna Douglas and wonders what the holy hell they’re talking about. It all becomes clear when the doctors and nurses are revealed. In one of the most memorable Twilight Zone endings of all time, the docs and nurses all look like some sort of mutant pigs. “Eye of the Beholder” indeed.

Long Distance Call

This episode frightened me so much that I promised myself I would never see it again. I lied. After his grandmother dies, a little boy is mysteriously given a phone. On this phone, only calls from his deceased grandmother can come through. Grandma then tries to convince Little Billy to kill himself to join her. And so he tries, several times in several ways. I can say without a doubt that today, this storyline encouraging childhood suicide would never be allowed to be aired. Just normal prime time entertainment for the Twilight Zone, though.

So there ya go, my personal favorite Twilight Zone episodes. What are yours? Let’s hear it!

Hollywood character actor Dick Elliott. Old people will recognize him.

So yeah, this is the ghost lamp everyone is going all kooky over. It’s in the already spooky town of Salem, Massachusetts. I’ve been to Salem, and although I saw no ghost lamps I’m pretty sure I was haunted by Hollywood character actor Dick Elliott, who grew up there. Anywho, if we didn’t have internet sensations like the Dancing Baby or Keyboard Cat, where would we be really?

PS: Don’t let your grandparents tell you this didn’t happen back in the day. Ask them about Hula Hoops and Coonskin Caps. Oh, and Panty Raids. Those were supposed to be fun.

Ghost Lamp!

Ghost Lamp Close-Up!

Listen, everyone knows I’m a big animal guy, and I love dogs in particular. Hey, who couldn’t be a dog lover with this guy by my side? Anyway, although I like cats I don’t feel like you can count on them, ya know? I mean, I can’t imagine a cat chasing off an intruder or warning me about an oncoming 18-wheeler like The Spark has done. And although some cats can be all cuddly and whatnot, others are more standoffish, indifferent and aloof. In addition, a percentage of cats are downright evil, and here’s proof. What you are about to lay your eyes upon are images of pure evil, images that will chill you to the bone, images that shall prove that some cats are demons with eyes that are the Gateway to Hell. View at your own risk.

Ernie will never forget the day a portal from hell opened, right there in his mom’s kitchen.

What the . . . RUN!

10 to 1 odds this demon just walked on across the ceiling after the photo was taken.

Supposedly this monster got into some flour, or perhaps he just murdered the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Sleep well, human. Sleep well.

Here kitty kit . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Santiago Catzalez as he plots his ultimate world domination.

The precise moment Kimberly knew that her beloved Toby had turned on her.

PS- Over the past few years I’ve pissed off clowns, midgets, bowlers, nazis, and LeBron James, among others. I’m sure I’ve just added cat lovers to my list.

15-creepy-things-babysitters-heard-from-kids-_-2

Yowza.

15-creepy-things-babysitters-heard-from-kids-_-1

My daughter was 3-years old, and I was getting her ready for the day. She had been waking up with nightmares almost every night for a month or two. I asked what she wanted for breakfast, and she told me she wanted to share it with the dead baby in her closet. I thought she meant one of her dolls, but when I pulled them out, she said “No, not a doll, the dead one that sleeps on the closet floor at night.”

 

doll

My 5-year old asked me when he is going to be 23 and I told him in 18-years. He replied, “Well, I hope don’t die again ’cause that’s how old I was the last time I went to heaven.”

 

yikes

Why are you crying?
“Bad man.”
“What bad man?”
Points behind me at a dark corner of the room and says, “There.”
She slept in our bed that night.

 

scared

My 3-year old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him for awhile, then turned and looked at me and said, “Daddy, it’s a monster. We should bury it.”

 

baby

My sister, Hailey, was born exactly two months after our great-grandmother Irene died. One day Hailey woke up and informed us it was her 95th birthday. When we tried to reason with her she started crying, saying that her real name was Irene, not Hailey. This lasted all day. The next day she didn’t remember anything.

 

littlegirl

My sister described her “imaginary” friend, saying: “He sits on my bed and waits for his mom. He’s not allowed to go home by himself because of his arm.” I asked what happened to his arm, and she said: “His mom ran him over when he was drawing with chalk. That’s why he’s always crying, because he doesn’t like being dead.”

15-creepy-things-babysitters-heard-from-kids-_-11

When my son was small, I was talking to him about growing potatoes. I described how you bank up the earth around them as they grow, and he said “I know Dad. I used to do that when I was an old man.”

 

potato

Walking past an old cemetery, my 3-year-old son casually said, “My brother is in there.” When I reminded him that he didn’t have a brother, he said, “No Mama, from before. When the other lady was my mommy.”

 

creepykid

I was with my sister, her husband, and their 2-year old daughter. We were talking about loved ones that had recently passed (my father had died sometime recently). My brother-in-law went and grabbed a picture of his mother, who had died in a car crash when he was six, to show me. When my niece saw the picture, though, she started laughing. We asked her what was so funny and she looked at us and said, “That’s my special friend who sings to me.” I still shiver a bit just thinking about it.

 

omigahd-no-wai-weird-kid-1300745022n

 

David Blaine is a warlock.

harrison2

So this video is busting out all over the interweb and people are going nutso over it. Anyhoo, I bet the folks over at Loch Ness are pissed, huh? They’ve been over there selling Loch Ness Monster t-shirts and bumper stickers for years and now this big guy comes along, on Halloween no less, just swimming along like a boss and stealing all the ink. Diabolical move by the Alaskan beast. Just savage. Here’s a look. Appears to be a 4 or 5-foot fish to me, but what do I know?

Note: Be sure and watch the second video. It’s about the legendary Providence Sea Monster and it’s an absolute cinematic classic.

Note 2: Experts are now saying the Alaska video may actually be of a big Sturgeon. Boom. See? I told you so.

chena-river-mysterious-thing

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. nobody writes the headlines like me, amirite? I mean, who couldn’t click on that title?

Listen, I always knew something was up with Matt Damon. Dude has always acted like he knew something the rest of us didn’t, ya know?

Anyway, as we all know, Matt Damon looks like this:

matt-damon

And here’s a recently discovered photo. It was taken in 1964.

damon1964

Yep, that’s Matt Damon alright. He definitely traveled through time or doesn’t age. Bro probably has wives in every decade for the past five-hundred years.

Anyhoo, Matt Damon? You, my man, have been busted.