Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

I’m crying. You’re also crying.

South Dakota, man.

Jade Stanley, 35, launched Sex Doll Official in 2018, a company which sells customized dolls. Speaking on This Morning with hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, Jade, who was joined by sex doll Amelia, opened up about one service they offer where they create a replica of deceased partners. Asked if she had people ask for a doll of their dead partner, Jade said: “Yes, actually I have. Loneliness is a massive issue and I think one of the most surprising aspects of this industry for me, is really it’s not all seedy and sexual.” Jade was joined by sex doll Amelia. “I’ve had lots of customers who genuinely come to me and they want a doll for comfort purposes only. I think that’s fantastic. I think in that case I’m fulfilling my job by providing comfort to somebody in their time of need.”

Ladies and gentlemen, those of you who read this site regularly know that it is a rare topic indeed that renders me speechless. However, this is one of those topics. Thank you and goodnight.

PS- Hey, I know when to keep my mouth shut.

PPS- Usually.

Like many people I’ve seen a lot in my life, been through some things I wish I hadn’t, and have seen friends come and go. Some friends went of their own volition, others I sort of extricated myself from, and way too many died before they should have. My late uncle, a man I had great respect for, once told me that if on the day you die you can count the number of your true friends on one hand you’ll be a lucky man. At the time I was sort of incredulous and didn’t understand it. Five friends or less? Please. After all, I had a plenty of friends at the time.

Or so I thought. Over time though, I’ve come to realize he was right.

You see, as a kid you think you have all these friends that will be there forever. Buddies for life and all that. But as time goes by your circle begins to get smaller. Things happen – people get married, move away, or maybe you just drift apart. Other times events happen in your life that sort of force people to take a side, to stand up for you, and quite often they don’t. That’s the point where you realize they weren’t quite the friend you believed them to be.

For an example, I had a guy that coached for me, a man I’d hired and helped along the way, a man I’d considered a friend. I unexpectedly lost that job awhile back, and I haven’t heard a word from him since the day he’d heard I was being non-renewed. He’d coached for me for 5-years. Guess you never know what’s going on inside someone’s head.

When you go through those experiences, the experiences where people have to put themselves out there for you, the times that taking a stand is required, those are the times you find out who your true friends are. Because for some, friendship is conditional.

And it’s at those points in your life when your circle of friends grow smaller. The good news is that although the circle is smaller, it is also stronger.

You know why? Because real friendship, like real love, is unconditional. A true friend will be there no matter what, right there beside you, even when you’re wrong. A true friend won’t try to lead you or follow you, but simply be beside you.

Here’s what Jim Morrison of The Doors had to say:

A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself – and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he or she really is.”

Jim knew what was up.

Will a true friend tell you when you’ve made a mistake? Point out what an idiot you’ve been? Hell yes they will, and I’d expect nothing less. But when the time comes to pick a side there’ll be no question where they’ll stand.

Years ago I was with an old friend and I’d been going through a tough time. I was in the middle of a breakup and I was explaining the circumstances to him. I’d just gotten started when he put his hand on my arm and said this:

“You don’t have to explain. I’m on your side automatically.”

I’m not sure even he understood what those words meant to me at that moment.

So true friendship is unconditional and can survive anything. A true friend accepts you for who you are, flaws and all. They have your back through anything that may arise, and they love you enough to be honest with you, even if the truth hurts. They want what’s best for you and they won’t abandon you when times get tough or you’re of no use to them anymore. A true friend will also keep you humble. Believe me, my best friends have no trouble in that department.

Given all that criteria, I suppose it’s no surprise that during your lifetime few will qualify. As for those that do, cherish them and do your best not to lose them.

Because as my uncle said, if on the day you die you can count ’em on one hand you should consider yourself lucky.

The eyes. You can always see it in the eyes.

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves, ya know? Anyway . . .

Jacqueline Ades, a woman accused of sending a man she went out on a date with once and then sending him more than 159,000 text messages and breaking into his home doesn’t understand why she’s in jail. She also wants to go to trial b,ecause she believes that a jury will not only find her not guilty, they will insist that she marry the man she stalked.

In a recent phone interview with The Arizona Republic, Ades expressed disbelief that she’s been incarcerated since May 2018 after authorities charged her with sending thousands of text messages, many of them very disturbing, over the course of 10-months, ending with her arrest in the man’s home as she was taking a bath.

Ades, who was deemed mentally incompetent at a Rule 11 hearing in March, amazingly, could have actually been released from jail several months ago, according to her attorney Matthew Leathers, if she had just accepted a plea deal which included time served, 10-years probation, and being barred from contacting the victim. However, Ades told The Republic she refused to take the deal because she didn’t believe it was real. She thought it might be the victim’s way of testing her resolve, she said.

Ades said she wants to go to trial, where she’s positive the jury will not only find her not guilty, but will order her and the man she’s accused of stalking to marry her.

Listen, I’ve seen a stalker or two in my day but this lady takes the cake. 159,000 text messages? I did the math and you’d have send 500 texts a day for 318 days to get to 159,000. That’s a whole other level of cray right there, man. And what’s the deal with people breaking into a house and taking a bath? I’ve read about this phenomenon several times. Seems odd. Then again, anyone who would text somebody 159,000 times after one date goes by their own set of rules I guess. And how about the poor schmuck who went out with her? Dude meets a woman on a dating site, takes her out for a nice dinner and the next thing you know he has a full blown screwball on his hands. Anywho, Jacqueline Ades? Batshit crazy.

PS- I listed some examples of the times I’ve been stalked, harassed, or otherwise threatened with bodily harm in this post. Such is the life of a world famous blogger.

My 25 Most Controversial Blogs

Good stuff.

The Cut- Things appear to be heating up for Saturday Night Live comedian Pete Davidson and actress Kate Beckinsale — as in, it might be time to bestow upon them their celebrity couple name. (Does Beckinson work? Sure.)

On Thursday evening, a Cut staffer spotted Kate Beckinsale dining at West Village restaurant Waverly Inn with her arm over the shoulder of someone she initially struggled to identify. She says she thought, “Who’s that goofy assistant-looking dude with Kate Beckinsale?” before realizing that the mystery man was in fact Davidson.

Although neither member of Beckinson have explicitly commented on their relationship, they’ve made very little attempt to conceal whatever it is that’s going on between them. Since they were first seen “being very flirty together” at a Golden Globes after-party, a source told “Page Six,” the pair was spent time together at one of Davidson’s stand-up sets in Los Angeles in early February, where they were photographed holding hands as they left the club. Then, photos were published of the pair kissing intently at a hockey game. Yep, it is ON.

Oh, for the love of God. Kate, Kate, Kate. Honey, you’re supposed to be looking for someone 20-years older, not in the other direction. Have you not read my website? I’m seriously crushed over here. And what the hell’s up with Pete Davidson, man? Dude looks like a train hoppin’ hobo yet he dates women like Ariana Grande and now my girl Kate. Mind blowing really. Woman, man. The eternal mystery.

Over the years I’ve written a few articles about coaching and my opinions and outlook on various aspects of it. Among these were two called The Truth About Coaching and Some Thoughts On Coaching.

As many of you know I’m not coaching this year so I’ve had the opportunity to watch games and practices all over Southern Ohio, and as I watch thoughts inevitably come to mind. When that happens I jot down some notes with the idea that when I gathered enough I’d publish another article.

Keep in mind I’m not critiquing any coach in particular, and just because I believe what you’re about to read doesn’t mean it’s necessarily correct.

It’s just my personal opinion, kids. Chillax.

Bottom line, times have changed and kids have changed. Actually, parenting has changed and as a result kids have changed. It’s w-a-a-a-y different than it was when I began coaching all the way back in the Fall of 1983. If I tried to coach in 2015 the way I coached in 1991 I wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did, trust me.

As I’ve said many times before on this site and when I speak to teams, coaching is about relationships. That’s always been the case to some extent but it’s exponentially more important today. There has to be some sort of a relationship between player and coach. Your players have to believe in you. As Golden State Warriors coach Steve Kerr said, “Coaching is 90% creating an environment and 10% strategy.”

That is 100% true.

Some coaches believe that showing compassion for their players is a sign of weakness, as if they’re giving up some essential part of their power as leader of the team. The fact is that yelling and berating without compassion will get old really quickly with today’s athlete, and at some point the coach will lose the team.

The ironic part of all this, of course, is that if your players know you love them you can yell at them all you want because they know you’re coming from a good place.

So showing compassion is not a weakness, but a strength.

Another thing I’ve noticed while attending games is that coaches, especially at the smaller schools, are successful when they adjust to their talent. Some coaches have their “systems” or style they like and expect their players to fit into it regardless. Here’s the deal – you can’t recruit players at a small school.  So, you have to adjust and run an offense and defense that fits your team’s abilities and strengths.

Over my last 4-years of coaching I had a very talented 6′-11″, 305 center. It wouldn’t have been real bright of me to run a fast break and beat him down the floor just because I liked a running style, right? Therefore we mostly (but not always) walked it up and ran our offense through him. Defensively we mostly played a zone where we kept our big man guarding the rim while our guards got out and pressured the perimeter. Hey, you have the luxury of getting out and pressuring when you have a rim protector backing you up.

My point is that just because you, as a coach, like running and pressing doesn’t mean you can – set your ego aside and do what works best for your team.

And that whole “hey, we do what we do and don’t worry about our opponents” argument is about as dumb as it gets. Of course you have to adjust to your opponents. To not is a path to failure.

College, and some high schools, are different because you can recruit or have the numbers to pick and choose your team. At small schools that’s just not possible,

Collegiately it can go both ways. A coach like Bob Huggins at West Virginia or Jim Boeheim at Syracuse recruit their players to fit their system. Same for the majority of college coaches. On the other hand, guys at the really elite programs like Coach K at Duke, Coach Cal at Kentucky or Coach Self at Kansas grab the best players available and adjust their offense and defense accordingly.

But at small high schools? You have to set your ego and your favorite style aside and play the hand your dealt.

Finally, if there’s one thing I learned over the years it’s that the best coaches never, ever stop learning. The day you think you know everything is the day to quit. The game, and the players, are constantly changing and coaches have to change with it.

If you don’t, the game will soon pass you by.

PS- As I’ve mentioned before, many of the basic philosophies of coaching – developing relationships, being able to communicate, and more – apply to teaching as well as coaching. They’re closely related.

PPS- One more thing. Team success depends on many variables like team chemistry, injuries, players getting sick, interfering administrators, etc. Bottom line, they’re all a part of sports. Using them as an excuse will only give your team an excuse to fail. As the great Bill Parcells once said, “You are what your record says you are.” 

Ouch.

Just as I suspected.

Source – A woman who married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate claims the couple have split up. Amanda Teague married the Haitian pirate named Jack earlier this year. The wedding to her ‘soulmate’ took place on board a boat in international waters off the Irish coast. However the Irish Mirror reports the couple have called it a day after less than a year. Amanda said: “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over. “I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be very careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with.” The split is another blow for Jack, as he was purportedly executed for thieving on the high seas in the 1700s. 

Well I’ll be damned. This one is a shocker, man. If anyone was going to make it I’d have bet the ranch on these two lovebirds. Seemed like a match made in heaven. Or hell, depending on where Jack lives. Seriously though, I was really holding out hope for these two wacky kids. I thought they really had a shot. So damn sad. A loss for all of us really. A loss for love.

PS- Then again, I know it’s pretty common knowledge that the marriage success rate between batshit crazy female lunatics and 16th century poltergeist pirate swashbucklers isn’t good. ‘Twas an uphill battle from the start.

PPS- I tried for 30-minutes to come up with an “Arrrrrr!” or “Ahoy Matey!” joke to put in there but I came up blank. I did have a Poop Deck knee-slapper but couldn’t pull the trigger.

Things sure have changed in 60-years. Sports, cars, education, fashion, TV, music, everything is so different. And the dynamics between men and women? Oh boy. And there is no better example of this than an article that was published in a 1958 McCall’s entitled “129 Ways to Find a Husband”. Trust me, looking back it’s laugh-out-loud funny. I’ll post the whole list below, but first let’s take a look at some highlights lowlights.

#2. Have your car break down in strategic places. Because being helpless and needing rescued by a big strong man was sexy I guess? Women? Thoughts?

#6. Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers. Boom! Look for dead wives and go in for the kill on their husbands! That’s solid advice right there.

#9. Sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons. I have been to parks. I have seen ladies feeding the pigeons. They are homeless vagabonds. Thanks though.

#11. Get a job in a medical, dental or law school. Don’t actually go there, because that was a ridiculous idea in 1958. But you know, get a job as a secretary or something so you can meet a guy that’s actually capable of being a doctor, dentist or attorney.

#19. Get lost at football games. Wait. What? Like under the bleachers? How do you get lost at a football game?

#26. Don’t room with a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her level. Absolutely, ladies. Nobody likes a sad sack, whatever that is.

PS- I looked it up. Sad Sack: an inept, blundering person. Well, hell. Turns out they’re right. Whatever you do, ladies, don’t room with sad sacks.

#29. When traveling, stay at small hotels where it is easier to meet strangers. Boom again! Also a great way to meet murderers, rapists and other assorted ne’er do wells.

PS- I just now realized that “ne’re do well” is short for “never do well.” Huh. Live and learn I guess?

#31. Stumble when you walk into a room that he’s in. So apparently guys in 1958 were attracted to uncoordinated klutzes?

PS-  I actually had to search up how to spell the plural of klutz on the Goggle. That’s blogging integrity right there.

#33. Carry a hatbox. Wait. What? Why? Huh?

#35. Make a lot of money. Hey McCall’s, newsflash – this is a good way for anyone to find a partner, whether male or female. Thanks for the deep insight though.

#40. Stand in a corner and cry softly. I swear to God I’m not making this list up, man. Those are actual screenshots below. On a related note, standing in a corner and crying softly is how my relationships usually end, and I’m the one crying softly in the corner.

#42. If you’re at a resort have the bellboy page you. I promise you I have no idea what that means.

#45. Laugh at his jokes. Hells to the yah. They finally got one right.

#55. Take good care of your health. Men don’t like girls who are ill. They’re dead on here. Nothing more unattractive than a diseased-infested woman, am I right McCall’s?

#58. Get a sunburn. Once again they’ve lost me. A nice tan I understand, but a sunburn? Whah?

#60. Go on a diet if you need to. Solid advice. In addition, the sick women will have a head start on this one.

#62. Don’t tell him about your allergies. Listen, if you can’t be ill you certainly can’t have allergies. And no respectable man wants a sneezing, itchy-eyed, runny-nosed, congested woman hanging around. Keep your allergies to yourself, ladies.

#85. Don’t tell him everything about you at the start. I’m down with this. Might wanna explain that Explosive Diarrhea problem at a later date.

#94. Don’t discuss your former boyfriends. Honestly, I think they got this one right. I’ve had more than one woman tell me about that one past man they were truly in love with but it somehow didn’t work out. I’m never sure how to respond. “I’m sorry I’m not that guy?”

#99. Resist the urge to make him over – before marriage that is! This one reminds me of something I once read, and that was “Men marry women thinking they won’t change. Women marry men thinking they can change them.” That one always makes good conversation among couples, believe me.

#111-#129. These are all goofy ideas like “sink at a fashionable beach at high noon” and “stow away on a battleship” which are just dumb. Disregard them.

You can read all 129 “Ways to Find a Husband” in all their glory below. Enjoy!

Note: I guarantee you I’ll get at least one message from someone that doesn’t understand sarcasm. Guarantee it.

 

A bride in Canada has launched a foul-mouthed tirade against her friends and family after blaming them for the cancellation of her dream wedding.

The unbelievable story went viral after shots of the bride’s ridiculous rant were posted to online, showing her slamming guests for refusing to give her $1,500 to attend the wedding.

The bride, Susan, took to Facebook to announce the cancellation of her wedding 4-days before the event, blaming guests for not funding her event.

The post starts with Susan announcing the cancellation of the wedding and that her and her partner have split due to “recent and irreparable problems”.

“Before I begin this mini-novel, I invite all of you to put yourselves in my shoes,” the jilted bride wrote.

“For once, let me take the stage and voice the most painful few months of my life.” She then goes on to explain how she had always dreamt of having a huge “blowout” wedding but as her and her partner had only saved $15,000 they turned to their guests to fund the $60,000 event. They told guests they had to send $1500 if they wanted to be invited to the wedding and were absolutely shocked when hardly anyone coughed up.

“I SPECIFICALLY, I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts,” she wrote.
“How could we have OUR wedding that WE dreamt of without proper funding?”

The bride became increasingly upset when people weren’t giving them the money they requested. Eventually all of the bride’s friends and family turned on her, including her fiance, over her obsession with having a huge wedding.

She ends the rant by telling everyone she is cutting off all the friends and family who refused to give her money and that she will be in South Africa backpacking for the next two months to get away from this “awful society”.

I’m rarely at a loss for words, but I’m seriously at a loss for words right now. Just kidding, I’m never at a loss for words. Anyway, $1,500 to attend a wedding? Were the Foo Fighters playing and do I have a backstage pass? Because if not that ain’t happening, sister. What in the holy hell happened to getting the happy couple a toaster? Maybe a personalized doormat? May I suggest a Magic Bullet Blender from Best Buy for the low price of $29.99? Honestly though, this may be the most delusional, entitled human being I’ve ever heard of. Here’s hoping Susan has an encounter with a Green Anaconda whilst backpacking in South Africa.

PS- Seriously man, people should be paid to attend weddings, not vice versa. Watching the wedding party dance into the reception makes me cringe every time. I hate forced choreography.

NEWPORT, R.I. — Investigators are trying to learn more about a bizarre incident off the coast of Rhode Island, CBS Boston reports. A woman said she fell off a sailboat and her husband didn’t know she had been overboard for hours in Narragansett Bay. The U.S. Coast Guard says the woman fell off her husband’s 39-foot sailboat sometime Friday afternoon as they were sailing from Newport to East Greenwich. The woman was found on Prudence Island at around 4 a.m. Saturday by a passing boater who heard her cries for help. Her husband was found around 2 a.m. in Warwick after he ran his sailboat aground. The man told local police he thought his wife was below deck sleeping and didn’t realize she was missing.

No other information is available at this point in the investigation.

No other information? I’ll give you information. The husband saw his wife fall off the boat, saw his chance, and sailed out of there like a bat out of holy hell. Dude had to be devastated when she was found by a passing boater. And he “ran his boat aground” at 2 a.m.? Going somewhere is a hurry there, bro? Please.

Note: Countdown to when this guy confesses. 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

So some girl named Jane left these rules for her boyfriend before he went on vacation with his bros, and he was gracious enough to share them with the world. First read the note, followed by my comments.

Listen, I have no idea what a gaff or a scruffy is, nor have I ever heard of a Hibs song. However, I do know what a crazy-ass, looney tune woman is, and that is Connor’s girlfriend Jane. Avoiding eye contact with girls? Pee samples? Better be careful as “I may turn up?” That’s just horrifying stalker talk right there. That girl’s batshit crazy, man. Hey Conner, c’mere for a sec. No, a little closer please. OK, listen up: Run. Now. Run for your life while you can. Get out, because if you don’t your life is destined to be full of anguish and a living hell. Thank you and goodnight.

Fresno, CA- When 22-year old Sidney Rollins called in to brag to KRDU Radio in Fresno about his awesome “Get Out of  Argument Free” card/birthday present from his wife, he was shocked to be mocked and derided on both radio and the internet. “I thought it was about the coolest gift She could give me. I’m not sure what people are thinking. Just cynical I guess.” 

Sidney, Sidney, Sidney. Oh, my young, naive, impressionable, wife-whipped little man. Do you really believe you’re going to be in the middle of a fight, whip out that card, and suddenly your wife smiles, takes it, and says, “OK honey. Fight over”? B-W-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A!!! Sidney, here’s what will happen. You’ll come home one night after being out 20-minutes too late, or maybe you’ll forget to take out the trash, and she’ll start in on you. You’ll quickly bust out the card, holding it up like a cross  in front of a vampire. Then except instead of shrieking and backing away, she’ll rip it from your hands, tear it to shreds and increase her anger level x 10. Then she’ll back you into the wall and rip your throat out.

Don’t use that card Sidney. Don’t ever use that card.

PS- How perfect is it that this guy’s name is Sidney? Pure comedy.

PPS- Did you catch the qualifier there? Especially if it’s a “stupid argument”? And that will ultimately be her call. This will end poorly, man.

Burn indeed.

Ever have a relationship that suddenly went awry for a weird reason? Something happened that made you think, “Uh, this isn’t going to work.”

Yeah, me too.

As a matter of fact it’s happened to me more than once. Let us review the sordid details . . .

I once went out with a girl in college that I’d had my eye on for awhile. We finally arranged a date, I picked her up, and things were going well. As always I had my music playing, and at one point I asked her what she thought of a particular Beatles song.

And then it happened, words spilling out of her mouth that were destined to ruin our relationship before it even started:

“I’ve never really cared for The Beatles. I think they’re overrated.”

At that point I spat out my coffee and I wasn’t even drinking any. Then I said something along the lines of, “Whaa . . . you . . smrgffft . . . wait . . . EXCUSE me?”

Listen, I can date somebody who hates sports, who doesn’t like to read books, who doesn’t like to travel, isn’t crazy about kids, hell, I can even date a Republican. But can I date somebody who dislikes The Beatles? I cannot.

Be ambivalent about them? Maybe. Dislike them? Nah.

Let us revert back to a quote from one of my favorite artists, the one and only lead singer of The Eels, Mr. Mark Oliver Everett, better known as E. E said this:

“Kids know what’s going on. They always respond to The Beatles, for instance. Doesn’t matter when they were born, they always seem to respond. Show me a kid who innately doesn’t like The Beatles and I’ll show you a bad seed.” 

Yep.

Listen, you don’t have to love The Beatles, but you certainly have to appreciate them for what they contributed to modern music. After all, virtually every band or artist today has stolen from them on one level or another. To not acknowledge that fact makes you, in my opinion, dumb.

Another time a date went sideways even more quickly. After I picked her up we walked out to my car, she opened the door and then proceeded to get out a handkerchief and wipe the seat before sitting down. Then she continued to look for dog hair on her coat all evening, making sure to hold it up for me every time she found one.

It didn’t take a genius to see that relationship was going very far. I mean, if a little dog hair bothered her that much we were in big trouble, ya know? I mean, if ya can’t make some allowances for The Spark you’re not my kinda girl.

I once dated a girl who I was beginning to really like. We’d gone out a few times and hit it off. She was from a nice family and showed no signs of abnormal behavior. Well, that all ended abruptly one sunny afternoon when she casually uttered a racial slur in the middle of a casual conversation regarding one of my friends. I asked her how in the world she could talk that way, she didn’t see a problem with it, I pointed out that I thought it was ignorant, and from that moment on I couldn’t wait to get her home and get the hell out of there.

It’s amazing how someone so pretty could turn so ugly so fast.

Finally, this last one is a little weird and sounds like something out of a Seinfeld episode. Years ago I was just out of college and seeing a girl that seemed really normal, at least by my standards. Anyway, things were going well until the day we went to a mall in Columbus. At some point we were ready to go up to the second floor and I sort of guided her over to the escalator. Just as we were about to step on she froze in her tracks and we had the following conversation:

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t get on there.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I haven’t told you this yet but I have a fear of escalators. It’s called Escalaphobia.”

“Hahahahahaha! Nice try weirdo.”

“I’m serious. They frighten me. I’m afraid I could get hurt on there.”

“Ooooooh.”

Long story short, she wasn’t kidding. This otherwise nice young lady had a legitimate, actual fear of escalators. Me, being the immature idiot that I was, couldn’t get past it. All I could think of that something must be inherently wrong with this woman, that if she was afraid of escalators what other irrational fears or thoughts might she have? Seriously, all I could think of were conversations I’d be having with people for years to come:

“Sorry, we have to take the stairs. She’s afraid of escalators.”

What can I say? Empathy wasn’t my strong suit then, nor apparently now since I just made myself laugh out loud as I typed that.

Anyway, so there ya go. Four weird things that can ruin a relationship. Well, plus me. I can ruin a relationship. On a related note, let’s not go there.

PS – Listen, I know too much dog hair is a pain and people have irrational fears that the rest of us have trouble comprehending. I get it, so save your complaints (I can hear the Society of Social Anxiety folks organizing as we speak). The racism, on the other hand, I will never get.   

PPS – And yes, I know I’m afraid of clowns, dolls and mannequins. Hey, I didn’t say I was perfect.

PPPS – And puppets, in particular marionnettes. There. I said it.

I can relate, trust me.

 

So I ran across this girl’s question regarding her ongoing relationship with her boyfriend Derek. Let’s call her Heather, because it seems like her name would be Heather. No offense Heathers. Anyway, read the letter, followed by my reply, then let me know what you think about it.

Q: I had been dating my boyfriend, Derek, for five years (from ages 20 to 25) and up until recently we had lived together for two and a half. When we first moved in together, I told him I wanted a proposal within the next year or else I would leave. He said this was completely doable and said he figured it would even happen before then!

So a year goes by and there’s no proposal. Derek says he needs more time to save up for a ring, so I tell him he has six months. I say ok and warn that I’ll leave if he doesn’t. Again, no ring. This time he says he can’t find a ring that’s “perfect,” so I pick one out that I like and he says to give him six months to save for it.

Another six months go by and NO RING. By now it’s been two years that I’ve been waiting to get married, so I tell him he has another six months and that it’s his last chance because I love him. Again, nothing – and this time he says it’s because he’s not sure if I’m “The One.” Ok, then why the fuck didn’t you say that two years ago Derek??

I finally had my fill of his lying. Last Friday I packed up all my stuff, took my name off our joint bills and moved out (my name is not on our lease.)

Derek does not have money problems and makes more than I do, so his excuse about saving for a ring was bullshit. It’s not like I even needed an expensive ring! Just a regular diamond ring that costs between $2,000 – 3,000. At one point he even said he’d go down to a pawn shop to get a ring RIGHT THEN and propose RIGHT THEN, but I felt like that would be cheap and he was only offering it to get me to stop talking. He told me we were soulmates, but refused to get the ring.

Did I do the right thing, yes or no?

Heather, Heather, Heather. First off, what’s the rush, kid? Hell, women wait to get married when they’re 35 or 40 these days, and sometimes not at all. Nobody cares. Why? Because, you know, they have careers and stuff. This isn’t 1922 when people would start calling you an Old Maid if you weren’t married by the age of 28. It’s a new day, sista. Welcome to 1970.

Secondly, guys don’t like deadlines for this type of thing. Demanding a ring is sort a bad move, don’tcha think? Dudes don’t like that kind of pressure, man. If you’re so obsessed with a diamond, wearing a white dress and having your big day you should’ve kicked Derek to the curb after he missed your first deadline, then gone and found a guy who wanted the same thing as you.

Finally, it’s pretty clear Derek has been stringing you along for several freaking years. I mean, those excuses are pretty lame. Can’t find the “right” ring? R-i-g-h-t. Heather, here’s the deal. Your big mistake was made when you moved in with this guy. He had you right where he wanted you, so why get married? The only thing a ring would’ve changed is that Derek would’ve been poorer.

So Heather, to answer your question, yes, you did the right thing. A little late, but ultimately you did. Now go find another guy to squeeze a ring out of.

So, thoughts?

Well, honesty is a good quality, right? And hey, it is fried chicken.

You have to admit that Daniel gave it a hell of an effort here. I mean, Top Golf just put this date over the top. And how about this girl? She not only makes it clear that it was a “friend date” but she had to get that final shot in with the old “#stillsingletho” hashtag. That’s brutal.

This chick blew it, right? What, romance is dead? I mean, what’s more romantic than having a bad violinist play a song for you in a mall food court? Dude pulled out all the stops. Your loss, girl. Your loss.

marriage

marriage

marriage