Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

[click on photos to see alien stuff]

USA Today – A number of prehistoric drawings have sparked a local government to seek the help of NASA after the images appeared to depict extraterrestrial life. Discovered in Charama, India, the images appear to show aliens and UFOs, similar to scenes of a sci-fi movie. According to local archaeologist JR Bhagat it is unclear as to what the images reveal. He said: “The findings suggest that humans in prehistoric times may have seen or imagined beings from other planets which still create curiosity among people and researchers. “In a few pictures, they beings even shown wearing space suits.”

The archaeologists have contacted NASA to help solve the mystery.

Well, well. Where are all those weather balloon excuses now? Seriously, I’m listening because I need an answer. Why, you ask? Because cave men were drawing pictures of aliens and spaceships 10,000 FREAKING YEARS AGO. Honestly, man, try and convince me that these drawings were a hoax perpetrated by cavemen:

Hey Gernk, let’s draw some pictures of made-up outer space people on the wall over here. It’ll drive people in 2018 insane.

No way man. They were here, are still here, and are living in the bodies of people like Oprah or your Uncle Hank as we speak. Hell, I wrote about this awhile back. Anywho, if this ain’t proof I don’t know what is.

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The NFL probably doesn’t like this very much. Just a guess.

The skeleton isn’t inside you, you’re the brain so you’re inside the skeleton.

Kewl.

Science Now: The origins of the Himalayan yeti myth have been revealed at last — thanks to science. Big furry animals, larger than humans and capable of walking on two legs do indeed roam the highest mountains on Earth, according to a study published Tuesday in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, a biological sciences journal.

But they’re not yetis. They’re bears.

After analyzing the DNA of nine purported yeti specimens, scientists found that five of the preserved “yetis” were in fact Tibetan brown bears, two were Himalayan brown bears, and one — a relic which looked like a fossilized hand — originally belonged to an Asian black bear.

The ninth specimen — part of a tooth belonging to a stuffed yeti in the collection at the Reinhold Messner Mountain Museum, turned out to be from a dog.

Man, this has got to be a historic letdown of epic proportions for the mythical folklore crowd, amirite? All those stories we’ve heard for years about hairy man-beasts roaming the Himalayas and terrorizing the countryside, only to find out they’re damn bears. And a dog. Bad day for ape-like entities I guess?

What’s next, we find out the Sasquatch is really a damn Irish Wolfhound? Good God.

PS- I’m not sure I’m buying it. This Proceedings of the Royal Society B sounds shady as hell.

 

 

 

A Cama is a hybrid between a male camel and a female llama and has been produced by artificial insemination at the Camel Reproduction Centre in Dubai. Yes kids, Dubai has a Camel Reproduction Centre. Why does a Cama have to be reproduced through artificial insemination, you ask? Because an adult camel can weigh up to 6-times as much as a llama and that could make things a little awkward for the llama if you get my drift. Anywho, Cama.

Remember that big story yesterday where we found out the US government has been investigating UFOs for years? Well, now we have some actual, real video of a goddamn UFO. Did you read what I just wrote? We have video of an alien spacecraft. Watch the video for yourself, man. That spaceship flies off like a damn bumblebee at the end. What the hell moves like that? An alien craft, that’s what. Seriously, the pilots witnessing this are just dumbstruck. I’ll tell you something else, folks – being able to fly like that means they have the technology to travel at the speed of light. Which means they can bend time. Which means they are probably bending time in space so they can’t be seen. Which means we are beyond screwed and we’re all gonna die soon because we would totally lose an intergalactic war. Hey, I’ve seen movies. Those alien transformer freaks don’t mess around. Meanwhile we’re still trying to put a person on Mars while these ETs are cruising from universe to universe like it ain’t no thang. It’s all over but the dying.

PS- The chances of us being alone are as infinitesimally small as the universe in exponentially big. That’s just science.

PPS- No way I’m getting captured either. Nobody’s probing me, man.

NY Times — In the $600-billion annual Defense Department budgets, the $22-million spent on the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program was almost impossible to find, which was exactly how the Pentagon wanted it.

For years, the program investigated reports of unidentified flying objects, according to Defense Department officials, interviews with program participants and records obtained by The New York Times. It was run by a military intelligence official, Luis Elizondo, on the fifth floor of the Pentagon’s C Ring, deep within the building’s maze.

The Defense Department has never before acknowledged the existence of the program. 

“Hmmm. Is it aliun or alien?”

Well, well, well. For years our government has denied that UFOs exist, yet all the while operating the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program deep within the bowels of the Pentagon. Guys just investigating aliens like you read about. And you just know they’ve found something and aren’t telling us. I guarantee they have photos of alien craft or maybe even have knowledge of aliens among us. Then again, I think they have to brief the president on this stuff, right? If so that really clouds the issue because you just know that upon hearing anything cool Trump would tweet about it within minutes. No way he could keep that knowledge to himself. Trump, man. Shoots out tweets like a 5th grader, except with poorer grammar.

PS- I’m sure you read my acclaimed blog titled Aliens Among Us. In it I laid out my theory that they’re here and living with us. We all know a couple. With that in mind, here are my top 5 possibilities of aliens living among us:

  1. Oprah. Of course Oprah’s an alien, except when they made her up to look like a humanoid they made her head too damn big, a dead giveaway. Clearly not human.
  2. Ryan Seacrest. You know how I’m certain he’s an alien? It’s those

    Seacrest, man.

    staring, soulless eyes. Chills, man.

  3. Tom Cruise. Come on man. He’s a Scientologist. They believe that a galactic being named Xenu brought billions of people from a “Galactic Confederacy” to earth in spaceships shaped like jet airplanes. Xenu then stacked the people around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. The people didn’t die though, they became spirits that have caused harm to humans for 75-million years now. Dead serious. Look it up. Anywho, alien. Duh.
  4. Steve Buscemi. Obvious choice, amirite? Please. Dude has eyes that bore right through you. And I’m pretty sure a young apprentice alien was in charge of his mouth. Just a poor effort there.
  5. Christopher Walken. Ever notice how he really tries to talk normally but struggles putting sentences together? Yeah, me too. And once again, the eyes give it away. Not only is Walken obviously an alien, he may actually be their leader. It’s definitely him or a former administrator at the school where I taught. Anyway, Walken? No brainer there.

Earlier this autumn, an asteroid named Oumuamua captured the attention of the scientific world when it was confirmed as the first known object from outside the solar system. Now, Breakthrough Listen wants to see if it’s the first sign of life beyond our planet.  On Wednesday, the $100 million project to detect potential evidence of extraterrestrials plans to use the Robert C. Byrd Green Bank Telescope in West Virginia to observe the asteroid across four radio bands for 10-hours. “Most likely it is of natural origin, but because it is so peculiar, we would like to check if it has any sign of artificial origin, such as radio emissions,” Avi Loeb, professor of astronomy at Harvard University and an adviser to Breakthrough Listen, told The Guardian. “If we do detect a signal that appears artificial in origin, we’ll know immediately. We don’t want to be sensational in any way, and we are very realistic about the chances this is artificial,” Yuri Milner, the Silicon Valley billionaire behind the Breakthrough Initiatives, told Scientific American. “But because this is a unique situation, we think mankind can afford 10 hours of observing time using the best equipment on the planet to check a low-probability hypothesis. Oumuamua’s unusual cigar shape ― 10 times longer than it is wide ― was also “the most likely architecture for an interstellar spacecraft since this would minimize friction and damage from interstellar gas and dust,” the organization said. However, “a natural origin is more likely.”

Well, hell. It’s happening. It’s really happening. A cigar-shaped alien spaceship is cruising by earth. Everybody stand really still and try to act inconspicuous. Maybe Oumuamua won’t see us. Seriously, everybody knows asteroids aren’t long and thin. They’re all jaggedy and whatnot. That’s just science. You know what is longer and than it is wide and flies through space? A damn alien spaceship, that’s what. Now excuse me while I take Sparky with me to my underground lair.

PS- My underground lair is fully stocked with Cheez-Its, Cheez Whiz, Wonder Bread and Rock Star Punch energy drinks. That’s all I need until Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal take care of these freaks.

PPS- Can you imagine what Trump would do if aliens landed in DC? He’d probably finish his round of golf in Florida and then fly to Russia to ask Putin to protect him.

PPPS- I lied in my first PS. I’d have some booze down there too.

Bloomberg — President Donald Trump on Monday will direct the National Aeronautics and Space Administration to send American astronauts back to the moon, shifting the agency’s mission from the study of Earth and a longer-range plan to explore Mars. Trump is scheduled to sign a directive to the NASA administrator on Monday outlining the new mission. Deputy White House Press Secretary Hogan Gidley said in a statement that the new policy reflects recommendations from the National Space Council, a White House advisory panel Trump appointed earlier in the year. 

Hell yes! It’s about time! USA! USA! USA! I just hope to hell we can beat those Russians up there, especially after we threw down the gauntlet back in ’62. Thank God The Donald is going to fulfill JFK’s promise of getting there before 1970 2017. Get to the moon and get there post haste, ‘Merica!

PS- All jokes aside, can you believe nobody’s walked on the moon since 1972? All that hubbub about racing to the moon and we quit after getting there a few times. Also, only Americans have walked on the moon. That’s cray-cray.

PPS- What are the odds Trump thinks the moon is made of cheese? 93%?

Amazing stuff. Be sure and watch both videos.

USA Today: New research finds dogs are far brainier than cats, with more than twice as many neurons in their cerebral cortexes. Dogs were also found to be more loyal, compassionate, loving and obedient.

OK, I added that second sentence myself. That doesn’t make it untrue though. Listen, anyone that this news surprises is an idiot. Of course dogs are smarter than cats. Ever see a cat lead a lost child out of the forest? Didn’t think so. When you come home a dog greets you at the door with his tail wagging. Cats? They stay upstairs planning on ways to murder you in your sleep. Dogs every day, every way.

Source – Bacteria discovered on the surface of the International Space Station may not be from Earth, a Russian cosmonaut claims. Anton Shkaplerov, an ISS expedition flight engineer who will take his third trip to the space station in December, said that living bacteria harvested from the metal skin may be extraterrestrial. Shkaplerov said: “Bacteria that had not been there during the launch of the ISS module were found on the swabs.
“So they have flew from somewhere in space and settled on the outside hull.” Incredibly, bacteria found on the ISS can survive in a vacuum and temperatures ranging from -150C to 150C. Last month Sky reported that bacterial cells treated with a common antibiotic were spotted changing shape to survive while aboard the ISS.

Isn’t this how every space horror movie since 1953 has started? A seemingly harmless bacteria finds its way inside your spaceship and proceeds to grow into a freakin’ 12-foot space monster from hell and then kill everybody on board?

Honestly, if this doesn’t scare the bejesus out of you I don’t know what will. First off, there is no way we can let this craft back into the earth’s atmosphere. NO WAY MAN. Why? Because SOMETHING FLEW IN FROM SPACE AND SETTLED ON THE SHIP’S HULL. And oh, by the way, it can live in a damn vacuum and in temperatures ranging from -150C to 150C and is changing shape to survive. 

Sweet dear God we must blow that Space Station to hell and we must blow it to hell right now. Come on Trump! Do something!

Note: This reminds me of that damn Tardigrade I wrote about once. Scary stuff.

Also called a Water Bear. Cool.

Julius Caesar too. And Socrates. And Plato. Hell, even Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Beethoven.  But you get the point. There’s a solid chance the water coming out of your faucet or inside that bottle you bought contains molecules that all those people drank. Yes kids, Cleopatra may have sipped that very same water from the Nile back in 33 BC. How in the hell, you ask? Read on . . .

Here’s the dilly. The water on our Earth today is the same water that’s been here for nearly 5-billion years. Only a teeny-tiny bit has escaped out into space, and as far as we know new water hasn’t formed either.

What does that mean? It means there’s a very high chance the water in your glass is what thirsty dinosaurs were gulping about 65-million years ago.

It’s possible that you could drink the same water as a T-Rex or any of those historical figures I mentioned above because of the way water circulates around our planet. You and I are actually part of this water cycle, too.

Here’s what happens. As water on the surface of lakes, oceans, and rivers warms up, it travels into the sky as very tiny droplets, or vapor. When the water vapor gets colder, it turns back to liquid to help form clouds.

When the liquid gets so heavy it can’t stay in the atmosphere anymore, it falls as rain, snow, sleet, hail, or my personal favorite, graupel.* Once the precipitation reaches the ground or lands in lakes, oceans, and rivers, the cycle continues.

*Graupel is snow pellets or soft hail. Feel free to drop that word on your friends this winter.

See, the earth is a closed system with finite resources, and one of those resources is water. That means we don’t get new water or lose water on average; instead, like I said, it mixes and recycles. The same is somewhat true for air, and most everything else on earth, although each substance is different.

This next part is sort of complicated, and since I had to read it 7-times to understand it, you might have to read it twice. From Scientific American:

Water is a chemical substance with a chemical formula of H2O, meaning that its molecule contains one oxygen and two hydrogen atoms connected by covalent bonds. People drink an average amount of 2-quarts of water a day.
Each quart of water contains 3.1634653 x 10^24th power of molecules. Thusly, if a person lives for 75-years, we can calculate them needing roughly 365 x 75 x 2=54,750 quarts of water over their lifetime. That means the average person drinks roughly 54,750 x 3.1634653 x 10^24th power of molecules in their lifetime. There are about 326-million trillion gallons of fresh water on Earth. We have approximately 4.72 X 10^46 molecules of fresh water in total. Thus, there is a fair chance you shared water molecule or two with the Dinosaurs, Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Julius Caesar, Socrates, or any other human or animal that drank water in history.

So there you go. Interesting stuff, amirite?

Fun Fact: Less than 3% of all the water on Earth is fresh water, the kind we drink. Although you might think that most of the fresh water on Earth is found in lakes and rivers, only a small fraction can be found in these places. Most of the fresh water is frozen in polar ice caps and glaciers. The rest exists in the atmosphere as gas or clouds, or is underground.

Jeebus.

Well, I see the plan to wipe out the human element in the workforce is almost complete. As soon as these things become self-aware they’ll organize an army and destroy us all. Seriously, with all the politically correct crap going on these days I can see these robots patrolling the streets monitoring hate speech and trigger words and whatnot. Every time “Trump” and “hate” are uttered in the same sentence one of these dudes will staring you straight in the grillmix. Terrifying really.

PS- Robot tipping will be a thing in the future. Write it down.

pppppppp

Well, hell. Now I’m all emotional and whatnot.

Sure, we use the word all the time:

My all-time favorite psycho, Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.

“Joe went nuts at the game last night. Dude’s a psycho, man.”

Or maybe . . .

“That chick won’t quite texting me. What a psycho.”

You get the picture. Still, there’s actually a difference between a psychopath and your regular everyday asshole like me.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has various characteristics of sociopaths, but one of the most crucial things you see is the “superego lacuna,” which is a term for a gap in the superego. This basically means that sociopathic people have no conscience. The moral codes that guide the rest of us don’t apply to them.

To put it simply, psychopaths legitimately give zero damns. But not just about stuff like stealing that awesome parking spot that you clearly had seen first. Cheating? Stealing? Murder? A legit psychopath is capable of committing any of these things and legit move right on with their life without blinking an eye.

Psychopaths wreck their own lives as well. They take drugs, contract diseases, and just generally do not take care of their lives. They’re also usually burned out by 60 or in jail. There’s just a general disregard for their own health as well as that of other people.

And not all psychopaths are killers. Some are just con men of the highest order. They’ve learned how to mimic proper behavior even though they’re basically pretending. They feel no guilt. You know the type, they say the right things but you just know there’s nothing behind those soulless eyes. Am I thinking of a former colleague of mine? I am.

And you’re picturing someone you know in your head right now too, aren’t you? Hell yes you are.

Note: It’s also important to know that psychopaths or sociopaths are very different from being psychotic. Psychotic means you’ve lost touch with reality. You’re hearing voices, you have bizarre beliefs, delusions and paranoia. You’re thoughts are disjointed and unorganized. On the other hand, psychopaths know exactly what they’re doing, they just feel no guilt. Like I said, zero damns.

Some cat named Dr. Robert Hare, who is Emeritus Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia, put together a checklist to see if someone is a psychopath. You rank the person 1-3 on each trait, with 3 being the highest. There are 20 traits, so a score of 60 means that particular person may be ready to go on a killing spree or something. Hey, I’m here for ya. Here’s Dr. Hare’s list:

Glib and superficial charm: The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

Grandiose self-worth: A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

Need for stimulation or proneness to boredom: An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

Pathological lying: Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

Conning and manipulativeness: The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item four in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

Lack of remorse or guilt: A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

Shallow affect: Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

Callousness and lack of empathy: A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

Parasitic lifestyle: An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

Poor behavioral controls: Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily

Early behavior problems: A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

H-e-e-e-e-r-e’-s JOHNNY!!!

Lack of realistic, long-term goals: An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

Promiscuous sexual behavior: A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquest

Impulsivity: The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

Irresponsibility: Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

Failure to accept responsibility for own actions: A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

Many short-term marital relationships: A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

Juvenile delinquency: Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

Revocation of conditional release: A revocation of probation or other conditional releases due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

Criminal versatility: A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

So there ya go. Rate each trait, add ’em up, and the higher the score the more likely you have a real, bona fide psychopath on your hands. On a related note, I graded myself and you do not want to know how it turned out.

Kidding. But am I?

New research shows pressure beneath Yellowstone could build much quicker than previously thought, and such an eruption could make Earth uninhabitable. Research presented by the Arizona State University at a recent meeting in Oregon goes against previous findings which that it could take thousands of years to build up. Scientists say it could happen within tens of years after a study analyzing crystals in volcanic rocks found in the area.
As the crystals grew, they were increasingly prone to being influenced by their surroundings, such as pressure, heat and water content.

Lead researcher Hannah Shamloo of Arizona State University told the New York Times: “It’s shocking how little time is required to take a volcanic system from being quiet and sitting there to the edge of an eruption.

The usually peaceful volcano has now experienced some 2,750 tremors since June 12th which could indicate that it is ready to burst back into life.

This is the second most active swarm of quakes since records began.

If the volcano were to erupt it would kill an estimated 87,000 people immediately and make two-thirds of the USA immediately uninhabitable.
The large spew of ash into the atmosphere would block out sunlight and directly affect life beneath it creating a “nuclear winter.”

Hey-O!  Saving up for little Hunter’s college fund? Screw that. Spend that dough while you can, folks, because well, this winter could be a bad one. A Nuclear Winter you might call it. Seriously man, a large spew of ash blocking out the sun just sucks. Pretty much what happened to the dinosaurs with that little meteor incident thingy. Turned out bad for them. And isn’t it wild that the Supervolcano is in Yellowstone National Park? Hell, that’s where Yogi Bear and Boo Boo live. Supervolcanos are supposed to be in Siberia or somewhere.

Fun Fact: The volcano system under Yellowstone has enough lava to fill 11 Grand Canyons. Sweet Mother of God. 

This video begins with some interesting stuff, then takes a dark turn towards the end.

Incredible.

I’ve been interested in this stuff for years but have only recently started to actually read seriously about it. I’m sure you’re all somewhat familiar with it, because it’s been a popular subject in comics, TV shows and movies. We’ve all seen or read about people who stumbled upon a “portal” that they walk through and enter another space and time, right? Or “Chronicles of Narnia” anyone? My personal favorite is the book by H.G. Wells called “Men Like Gods”, complete with a multiverse theory and a paratime machine. Cool, especially for 1923. Anyway, the examples are endless.

But first, let’s get to an official definition of the Many Worlds Theory:

The many-worlds interpretation is an interpretation of quantum mechanics that asserts the objective reality of the universal wavefunction and denies the actuality of wavefunction collapse. Many-worlds implies that all possible alternate histories and futures are real, each representing an actual “world” or “universe”. 

Basically, this is saying that there is a very large, perhaps even infinite, number of universes, not just ours, and we could be in those other universes as well. It also says that everything that could possibly have happened in our past, but did not, has occurred in the past of some other universe or universes we lived in.

Man, that’s just crazy to think about. Parallel universes.

Think about it. Before this theory, reality had always been viewed as a single unfolding history. The Many Worlds Theory, however, views reality as a many-branched tree, where every possible outcome is realized.

For example, say an object’s wave function is both a particle and a wave. When a physicist measures the particle, there are two possible outcomes: It will either be measured as a particle or a wave. When a physicist measures the object, the universe splits into two distinct universes to accommodate each of the possible outcomes.

OK, I’m getting a headache. Forget all the wave and particle stuff, just understand that for everything that happens there are different outcomes, shooting out in different directions, to several universes. Or you could put it this way – we live in an infinite web of alternate timelines, but we can only see the one we exist in. Or maybe we can, but I’ll get to that shortly. So actually, if this is true, we live in a multiverse — where timelines are constantly branching off and creating distinct and coherent worlds, each experienced by a different version of you.

Stick with me while I give you one simple example. Let’s say that yesterday you left your house to go to work. A dog cuts in front of you but you swerve, miss him, and continue on your way. In another universe though, you hit him and kill him but go on your way. However, the dog’s owner is devastated, his life is changed forever and so on. In yet another timeline you miss the dog but hit an oncoming car head on and die. Not sure why I’m sing such morbid examples because they don’t have to be. Wait, I can’t stop there. In another universe you pull over, save the dog because it was a stray and he lives with you happily ever after. Whew. That’s better.

Now, imagine every example I just gave, every single act branching out in different directions like that. There could be countless versions of you out there. If the theory is true, then there must be an infinite number of versions of you out there, each of them experiencing the world as individuals separate from and oblivious to each other.  One may have died at birth, one may be living as a billionaire in New York. Maybe you turned into a mass murderer in another universe. Don’t laugh, remember that kid you hated in high school and wanted to murder? In one world, maybe you did. The possibilities are literally endless, because if this is true you have literally done and/or will do everything you could ever have conceive of doing. Mind boggled.

And think about what other kinds of worlds might exist in another universe. Maybe somebody invented time travel or cured cancer years ago. Maybe a war destroyed the planet and it had to start over. Again, endless possibilities.

Let me throw this out there. What about ghosts? Do we sometimes somehow get a glimpse of an alternate universe? Hey, the chair you’re sitting in right now could be in the middle of an insane asylum or a witches coven, literally anything. That noise you heard last night a couple rooms away? Don’t ask. Anyway, next time you think you saw something out of the corner of your eye only to turn and look but it was gone, don’t be alarmed. Perhaps you did.

But oh, there’s more that has crossed my twisted mind. We’ve all had feelings of deja vu, right? That sense that we’ve done something or been somewhere before, even though we know we haven’t? Maybe we have, it was just one of those many other versions of you. Maybe we sometimes have a sort of connection, or resonance, with the other universes that causes this phenomenon.

Look, I can’t begin to explain the scientific basis for the theory. I’ve read about it and sort of get it, but eventually all the wave function collapse and quantum gravity talk hurts my brain. All I know for sure is that it fascinates the bejesus out of me.

Oh, and one more thing. Do you know who devised the original Many Worlds Theory and Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics? A man named Hugh Everett III, who died in 1982. Like many ahead of  his time, he passed before his theory began to be taken seriously. But here’s my favorite part – Hugh Everett III was the father of Mark Oliver Everett, leader of one of my favorite bands, The Eels. True story.

Now that’s mind-boggling.

Father & Son

Yeah, we’ve known for awhile.

Space.com – Many other planets throughout the universe probably hosted intelligent life long before Earth did, a new study suggests.

The probability of a civilization developing on a potentially habitable alien planet would have to be less than one in 10 billion trillion for humanity to be the first technologically advanced species the cosmos has ever known, according to the study.

“To me, this implies that other intelligent, technology-producing species very likely have evolved before us,” said lead author Adam Frank, a professor of physics and astronomy at the University of Rochester in New York.

Gee, ya think? Listen, I don’t know how much money was wasted on this “study”, but I could have told them this when I was 8-years old. My cousin Mel and I figured that out when we used to camp out on the ground in my back yard, man. You now how we figured it out? We looked up at the stars, and what we surmised was that space is big. Really big. No way we were alone in our own universe, much less whatever the hell else is out there. End of study. We’d lie there and think about it for awhile, then we’d get scared and go back in the house. Anywho, scientists, man. Just wasting money like you read about.

Can’t touch this.

So the folks over at NASA shot out this tweet yesterday and it got my attention:

“We’ve renamed our first mission to touch the sun as the Parker Solar Probe in honor of astrophysicist Eugene Parker.”

Wait? Touch the sun? Hey, I’m no scientist but I’m 77% sure you can’t touch the sun. Pretty sure it’s too hot. After all, it’s like 800° or something, right? Anywho, later on came a slight clarification:

“In 2018, NASA will send a craft called the Parker Solar Probe on a journey which will come within 4-million miles of the searing surface of the sun, facing heat and radiation more intense than any spacecraft has endured before.”

4-million miles? Getting 4-million miles from the sun is touching?

Badasses.

Hell, by that logic I’ve been touching Kate Beckinsale for years now. Honestly, this is another case of NASA blowing things out of proportion in order to justify their existence. Listen, I have nothing against NASA but since the original Mercury 7 astronauts things have been going downhill. Even Neil Armstrong couldn’t match up with those guys. Those cats were the Space Cowboys, man.

Touching the sun. Seriously NASA, let us know when you contact some aliens. Otherwise nobody cares.

PS – I know the sun is hotter than 800°. I was kidding. It’s actually 27,000,000°. Some people can’t seem to get my humor at times. Life’s tough for a world famous blogger, man.

PPS – I had a killer Uranus joke to put in there but I just couldn’t pull the trigger.

Sweet Mother of God.

65-million years ago, an asteroid is believed to have crashed into Earth. The impact wiped out huge numbers of species, including almost all of the dinosaurs. One group of dinosaurs managed to survive the disaster.

Today, we know them as birds.

The idea that birds evolved from dinosaurs has been around since the 19th century, when scientists discovered the fossil of an early bird called Archaeopteryx. It had wings and feathers, but it also looked a lot like a dinosaur. More recent fossils look similar.

But these early birds didn’t look the same as modern ones. In particular, they didn’t have beaks: they had snouts, like those of their dinosaur ancestors.

To understand how one changed into another, a team has been tampering with the molecular processes that make up a beak in chickens.

By doing so, they have managed to create a chicken embryo with a dinosaur-like snout and palate, similar to that of small feathered dinosaurs like Velociraptor. 

There are no plans to hatch any more eggs.

Well, here we go. We all saw this coming, amirite? Damn scientists start sticking their noses where they don’t belong and we end up with that monster in the photo up there. Thing looks like it’s gonna leap out of the photo, pull a vein out of my neck and kill me, which is what those DinoChickens are all going to do once these scientists start hatching those eggs, which we all know they’re going to do. Sorry for the long sentence but I’m a little upset. Didn’t they watch Jurassic Park? Good God man, kill the eggs! Kill them with fire!

And here’s how we’re all going to die. Remember that Monster Chicken video I showed you a couple weeks ago? How long before somebody turns one of those beasts into a Monster DinoChicken? We’re doomed, I tell you. Doomed.

PS- Sparky just growled at my computer screen. He’s ready for the inevitable War with the Chickens.

PPS- Now that I think about it, he may have started it.

It’s nuts how much the focusing muscle of the eye gets done. On an average, this spectacular muscle of the human eye moves about 1-million times every single day. If that doesn’t blow your mind, let’s put it in perspective –  for your leg muscles to get the same kind of workout, you would have to walk 50-miles every day. That’s cray-cray man.