Archive for the ‘Opinion’ Category

So every summer I hear the same comments, albeit from different people regarding different vacation spots:

“So good to be back home! This is our spot!”  

Keep in mind people could be talking about the Dominican Republic, Myrtle Beach, Oak Island, Virginia Beach, the Outer Banks, or several locations on the coast of Florida, Georgia, Texas or God-knows-where.

Listen, I understand that people grow fond of a location. After all, they spend a week there doing nothing but relaxing, swimming and going out to eat at seafood restaurants, what’s not to like? It’s perfect. For a week or more they get to sleep in, eat like a pig, and do nothing but live the dream. Hey, you get attached to a place. What’s not to like?

Still, I find it interesting that people like to claim a vacation spot as their own. It’s as if they feel a need to lay claim to a place, and are almost protective of it. And I guess, in a way, I do the same thing.

Here’s an example. Back in 1978, my sister, her husband and I first began going to a little out of the way (then at least) place called Oak Island, NC. Hey, back then I didn’t know anyone else who went there on vacation. Now, not so much. Tons of people I know go there, and some of them have declared it “their” second home. And you know what? That’s fine. I know exactly how they feel, because I’ve felt the same way for years. I feel the exact same way about the Outer Banks, because I spent my summers there from 1992-2011. Does it seem like a second home? It does. It also feels that way to thousands of other people who vacation there, and for good reason.

I’m not 100% sure what I’m trying to say here, other than it’s sort of dumb to try and declare a piece of land as “yours.” It’s not possible. No matter how much you love it, unless you own the whole shebang, it belongs to everybody.

Sorry kids, but it’s the truth.

This sort of reminds me of the way people lay claim to certain rock bands. “That’s my band! I listened to them when nobody had heard of them!” Then, when everyone else discovers them, you feel as if you’ve been cheated on. You wish you could go back to the days when nobody else knew their music, just like that one special beach you thought was all yours.

Sadly, it isn’t. And honestly, in reality it never was.

Listen, I know what everyone is saying. McGregor’s not a boxer, he won’t lay a glove on Mayweather, this fight is a joke, that anyone who buys it is a sucker and a fool. Well, call me a fool because I’m fascinated as hell by it. Here’s my take . . .

First of all, I know there’s a chance the fight will go 12-rounds, Mayweather will dominate (he never knocks anyone out anyway), McGregor won’t touch him, and it will all be a disgusting borefest.

However, just imagine with me for a minute. What if maybe, just maybe, one of the following developments occur?

  • What if McGregor sneaks a punch in and “breaks Mayweather’s face” like he says he will? Mayweather is a punk. He’s hit women and is unapologetic about it. How satisfying would that be to witness? The answer is very.
  • What if, and this is much more likely according to the “experts”, Mayweather destroys McGregor, just toying with him before eventually knocking him out? That would be pretty cool as well, since McGregor has about the biggest mouth since Chad Ochocinco. Wouldn’t love it, wouldn’t hate it.
  • Here’s my favorite possibility, and may I just say God please let this happen. Imagine if you will that it’s the 5th or 6th round, McGregor is just getting his shit handed to him as Mayweather taunts and toys with him. And then it happens – McGregor suddenly goes all MMA on his ass, connecting with a roundhouse kick and taking Mayweather down in a Rear Naked Choke or Reverse Armbar as the world watches in a combination of horror and unadulterated joy. Listen, I know there’s a miniscule chance it will happen and there will be a stipulation in the contract that if he does he’ll forfeit his earnings, but wouldn’t he more than make it back through publicity and future endorsements? Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?

So I ask you. Wouldn’t it be worth the price of the fight to see one of these things happen? Yes. Yes it would.

I’m in, baby.

Sometimes people just want to change because they believe change is good. Or perhaps, in this case, they want to sell more college sports hats and sweatshirts and whatnot. Anywho, UNLV, who heretofore had a perfectly good logo, decided to commission a new one. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Here’s the old logo:

Pretty straightforward, amirite? Nice bold letters and a bro with a hat and really big mustache underneath. They’ve replaced that logo with this. Behold, the new logo:

I swear to God I had to look at that for 10-minutes before I saw the guy with the mustache. And once I saw it I could’ve sworn his ear was exploding. And is his chin on a pillow? Or a bobsled? Oh, and a lot of people are saying they see a space frog. I’m so confused. Change? Not necessarily good.

Listen, there is NO WAY this kid wasn’t messing around up there on that ride. How fast was that Gondola going, like a mile per hour? She had to be goofing off, amirite? Unsnapped her seatbelt and was showing off or something? Maybe breakdancing, doing a handstand or something of that nature? The press is covering this as a feel-good story, and it was cool that the crowd caught her, but nobody is pointing out the obvious, that the kid was either incredibly stupid, reckless, or both. I want the truth, people!

Here’s The Donald just committing the cardinal sin of cruising across a golf course green like a boss, which incidentally he is because he owns the course. Then he tops it off by cruising over to a couple bros and bragging about the security on his course because it’s blanketed by the secret service: “Best security in the history of golf.” That’s gold. But the best part is when he casually gives them a knuckle-bump and rolls away. I tell ya, on some level you gotta respect the man’s brashness. Dude doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks.

PS- You’d be amazed how many people get offended by posts like this. I’ll get all sorts of threats for this one. But I’m actually sort of admiring this move, right? Trumpians are way too thin-skinned, man.

PPS- Somebody said he’s just in front of the green. Damn, I hope not. That would ruin everything.

From time-to-time my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied likes to post some of the latest fashion trends and throw in our 2¢. Don’t believe me? Just type in the word “fashion” in that search box over there and have a look-see. Anywho, our head Fashion Consultant Yuki Fukumodo brought in some photos of some of the hottest trends out there today, and I must say they beg for our attention and commentary. Let us commence with the festivities . . .

Remember the fake muddy pants I showed you a few weeks ago? Same concept here. And guess what? Still dumb.

These are called Ugg Sandals. Don’t you wear boots to keep your feet warm and dry? Aren’t open-toed boots defeating the actual purpose of boots? I’m so confused.

Man, these things have to be a nightmare for ladies with love handles, amirite? Stuff be poppin’ out all over the place up in here. Seriously, that’s not a good look, man.

Oh for the love of God. Now they’re just messing with us. “Hey, let’s cut up some old sweats, attach them with clamps and see if people will buy them.” Guess what? People will.

Perfect for people who want to ride their horse to the beach and sink their toes in the sand. Geesh. On a related note, the tan lines would be outrageous.

Perfect for the woman who has an extra 10-minutes to buckle-up her Elbow Purse.

Honestly, were out of ideas so we’re just reaching now, right? Just making stuff up right and left and expecting people to eat it up. The sad part is, some people will.

CBS – For several minutes, Ryan Hamilton watched as a blind man tried to hail a cab while Chicago Cubs fans poured out of Wrigley Field. The Chicago resident was on a rooftop across the street when he noticed thousands of people passing the man, who was holding a walking stick and waving his hand in an attempt to stop a taxi. Not one car stopped — but luckily, a pedestrian did.Casey Spelman, of Indianapolis, was visiting friends in the area and spotted the blind man, who was identified as Yusef Dale, an assistant U.S. attorney in Chicago, as she walked out of a Wrigleyville restaurant. Without a word, Spelman split from her friends, walked over to Dale and tapped him on the shoulder.

The 26-year-old didn’t think anything of her encounter with Dale. But Hamilton, who was watching from above, was so touched by the kind gesture he posted pictures of the pair on Facebook, praising the woman for lending a helping hand.”There was a blind Cubs fan trying to hail a cab for several minutes until the lady came up and asked him if he needed help hailing a cab. She stood there with him until one pulled up,” Hamilton wrote in the post that has since gone viral with nearly 8,000 shares. “Awesome to see such kindness in a world.”

Spelman is glad her post is inspiring others and hopes others will step outside of their comfort zones if they encounter a similar situation.”It’s OK if you are unsure of how to interact with someone, but do your best, be brave, and just be willing to help,” she said. “I think if you treat someone with respect it will always be appreciated.”

So this is where we are. You’re a hero if you help a blind man cross the street. For the love of God, shouldn’t this be expected? What’s next, being called a hero for giving a bottle of cold water to your garbage man on a hot day? Isn’t there a difference between an act of kindness and an act of courage, something that requires you to put your life on the line? Back in the day you had to take a bullet to be a hero. Now? Help a blind dude across the street. The hero bar has been lowered, man.

Good Lord.

 

NYT – President Trump announced Thursday afternoon that he is withdrawing the United States from the landmark Paris climate agreement, an extraordinary move that dismayed America’s allies and set back the global effort to address the warming planet.

Trump’s decision set off alarms worldwide, drawing swift and sharp condemnation from foreign leaders as well as top environmentalists and corporate titans, who decried the U.S. exit from the Paris accord as an irresponsible abdication of American leadership in the face of irrefutable scientific evidence. Trump has described climate change “a hoax.”

The U.S. withdrawal from the Paris agreement cannot actually be finalized until near the end of Trump’s term because of the accord’s legal structure and language.

The Donald, man. Gotta give him credit to sticking to his guns on this one I guess? Our children and their children and their children can go to hell, man. We’ll all be gone by then anyway, amirite? But hey, at least we have two other stable, level-headed governments who see things the way we do – Nicaragua and Syria. Thank God for that. I guess all us weenies who believe in the climate change “hoax” can take solace in the fact that our withdrawal from the pact can’t take place for a couple years. The odds of Trump surviving that long are about 9%.

PS- One positive about a Trump administration? Endless source of blogging material.

PPS- Another positive? Wildly entertaining messages from Trump supporters.

PPS- For those who care, and I don’t think many do, here’s climate change explained pretty simply (and spare me the climate change is a hoax videos, please).

On a related note, I never thought I’d miss this guy so much:

bush-doing-the-happy-dance

ZimbabweA pastor has been killed after he was eaten by three crocodiles while trying to walk on water, it has been claimed. Jonathan Mthethwa was trying to show his congregation how Jesus walked on water by crossing what is locally known as Crocodile River on foot, according to local reports.

However, he did not make it across the river in Zimbabwe.

The pastor, from the Saint of the Last Days church, managed to get around 90-ft into the river, the paper reported, before trying to climb onto the surface of the river.

Eyewitness Deacon Nkosi told Zimbabwe Today: ‘The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us. We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week. They finished him in a couple of minutes. All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.”

First off, I’m trying hard as hell not to laugh at the fact that the gators passed on eating the underwear, I really am. But can you believe the gators passed on eating the underwear? Gators, man. Even they have their limits. But seriously, Pastor Jonathan Mthethwa, I’ve always questioned this line of thinking where faith is concerned. “Hey, let’s really push God to the limit! I’m going to grab this rattlesnake to prove I have faith! The Lord will save me!” Well, maybe he won’t. Maybe he’ll just wonder why you didn’t use the common sense he gave you as he watches you die a painful death from internal hemorrhaging. I mean, God helps those who help themselves, amirite?

Note: This reminds me of the old story about the man who was in his house as flood waters rose outside his door. A guy in a boat came by and offered to help, but the man said, “No thanks, God will provide help for me.” As the water rose, two more men in boats came by and were told the same thing. Eventually the man drowned, and when he stood at the pearly gates  he had this conversation with God:

Man: “I believed in you and had faith you would help me. Why did you forsake me?”

God: “I sent three boats for you. What else did you expect, man?”

He’s coming for you, Donald.

GQ- Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the highest paid movie star on the planet and a committed dad, told GQ that he’s thinking about running for president of the United States.

“I think that it’s a real possibility,” the “Baywatch” actor confessed. “A year ago, it started coming up more and more. There was a real sense of earnestness, which made me go home and think, ‘Let me really rethink my answer and make sure I am giving an answer that is truthful and also respectful.’”

You know, years ago I would have laughed at this notion. A professional fake wrestler running for leader of the free world? No way he could win, right? Nowadays though, well, things have changed a little haven’t they? I used to think that Arnold being elected Governor of California and Jesse “The Body” Ventura running the show in Minnesota were anomalies, but no more. Not after this whole Donald thing. And hey, The Rock is qualified. After all, he’s a movie star and committed dad. Anyway, I’m going to get in on the ground floor of this “Rock for President” thing, baby.

PS- Seriously, can you imagine Trump vs The Rock in 2020? That would be stellar.

I had an interesting conversation with somebody the other day about my basketball team’s policy of “dressing up” for games. The person I was talking to questioned why we did it and wondered if it was necessary in 2017. I asked if he was talking about our coaching staff or our players, and he basically said he was referring to both.*

*Actually the first thing I wanted to ask him was if his brain had slid out of the back of his skull, but I was in a good mood.

Listen, I don’t necessarily think the way we do things is the perfect way, nor do I judge programs that are run differently. It’s just my own personal view on how things should be done, simple as that.

Number one, I have a lot of respect for the game of basketball. I’ve seen it change lives. Hell, I’ve seen it save lives. You may think I’m exaggerating, but I am not. I’ve seen it at the high school level and I’ve seen it at the college level. Basketball can give people a purpose, and a reason, to better themselves, and even to live.

Am I being melodramatic? No, because I’ve seen it.

I’ve seen sports, and in my case basketball, give kids a reason to stay in school, to go to class, to focus on their future, and to keep on going.

Coaches too.

So yeah, I think the game deserves our respect. Because of this I wear ties to games. No polos and no sweatsuits for me (sorry Huggs). And my team will wear ties on most nights, and traveling gear on others. But what they won’t do is wear jeans and t-shirts. It’s the same reason you won’t see any shimmying, dancing, or otherwise acting like a fool on the court from my guys.

Not gonna happen.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want emotionless robots on the court either. Positive emotions are great, there’s nothing wrong with pumping a fist or otherwise getting fired up, I love that sort of thing. But what I don’t want is a bunch of clowns on the court, making a mockery of a great game or showing up our opponent.

Hey, I know I’m in the minority here, with NBA players prancing about like tools after every routine shot, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to give in. Can’t do it, won’t do it. And I know some of you won’t get it, that you’ll look at me like I have a marmoset on my head.

That’s O.K. Gotta fight the good fight, man.

Anyway, that’s the simple answer to why we wear neckties. Just a simple respect for the game. After all it’s done for me, it’s the least I can do for it.

PS- Please spare me the old, “Oh, lighten up and let them have fun!” That’s just dumb. You know what’s fun? Winning is fun. Let’s try and do that and the fun will follow.

PPS- I also touched on this subject in a blog called Basketball’s Unwritten Rules: What Happened? Read it, man.

PPPS- Yeah, like this. Disgusting.

 

 

So I ran across this girl’s question regarding her ongoing relationship with her boyfriend Derek. Let’s call her Heather, because it seems like her name would be Heather. No offense Heathers. Anyway, read the letter, followed by my reply, then let me know what you think about it.

Q: I had been dating my boyfriend, Derek, for five years (from ages 20 to 25) and up until recently we had lived together for two and a half. When we first moved in together, I told him I wanted a proposal within the next year or else I would leave. He said this was completely doable and said he figured it would even happen before then!

So a year goes by and there’s no proposal. Derek says he needs more time to save up for a ring, so I tell him he has six months. I say ok and warn that I’ll leave if he doesn’t. Again, no ring. This time he says he can’t find a ring that’s “perfect,” so I pick one out that I like and he says to give him six months to save for it.

Another six months go by and NO RING. By now it’s been two years that I’ve been waiting to get married, so I tell him he has another six months and that it’s his last chance because I love him. Again, nothing – and this time he says it’s because he’s not sure if I’m “The One.” Ok, then why the fuck didn’t you say that two years ago Derek??

I finally had my fill of his lying. Last Friday I packed up all my stuff, took my name off our joint bills and moved out (my name is not on our lease.)

Derek does not have money problems and makes more than I do, so his excuse about saving for a ring was bullshit. It’s not like I even needed an expensive ring! Just a regular diamond ring that costs between $2,000 – 3,000. At one point he even said he’d go down to a pawn shop to get a ring RIGHT THEN and propose RIGHT THEN, but I felt like that would be cheap and he was only offering it to get me to stop talking. He told me we were soulmates, but refused to get the ring.

Did I do the right thing, yes or no?

Heather, Heather, Heather. First off, what’s the rush, kid? Hell, women wait to get married when they’re 35 or 40 these days, and sometimes not at all. Nobody cares. Why? Because, you know, they have careers and stuff. This isn’t 1922 when people would start calling you an Old Maid if you weren’t married by the age of 28. It’s a new day, sista. Welcome to 1970.

Secondly, guys don’t like deadlines for this type of thing. Demanding a ring is sort a bad move, don’tcha think? Dudes don’t like that kind of pressure, man. If you’re so obsessed with a diamond, wearing a white dress and having your big day you should’ve kicked Derek to the curb after he missed your first deadline, then gone and found a guy who wanted the same thing as you.

Finally, it’s pretty clear Derek has been stringing you along for several freaking years. I mean, those excuses are pretty lame. Can’t find the “right” ring? R-i-g-h-t. Heather, here’s the deal. Your big mistake was made when you moved in with this guy. He had you right where he wanted you, so why get married? The only thing a ring would’ve changed is that Derek would’ve been poorer.

So Heather, to answer your question, yes, you did the right thing. A little late, but ultimately you did. Now go find another guy to squeeze a ring out of.

So, thoughts?

So I posted that photo of Pharrell William’s wife and the weird-ass outfit she wore to the Met Gala this past weekend, and it turns out that was just the beginning. Here’s my girl Katy Perry, who showed up in something people might wear on Uranus. What the hell is on her head, gadgets to help her contact aliens or something? Honestly, these designers are just messing with us now, right? Just throwing crap together to see if these celebs will wear it. Crazy Town, man.

Listen, it’s no secret that I think Donald Trump is batshit crazy and the most unfit and unprepared human being to ever be elected leader of the free world. And while I voted for Hillary, I did so whilst looking sideways and holding my nose. Our choices in 2016 weren’t the greatest, man. That said, here’s where we are, with a former reality TV show host as President of the United States and the woman he defeated totally out of touch with reality.

Hillary is out and about again, presumably after 6-months of sitting in a corner and repeating, “I was beaten by an orange guy who grabs women by the pu$$y?”

Well, she was, she’s out, and she still doesn’t grasp what happened. At a Women for Women International conference she was quoted as saying, “I was on the way to winning until FBI Director James Comey’s letter on October 28th raised doubts in voters leaning toward me.” She also said that “Misogyny played a role as well.”

Uh, I hate to tell you this, Hill, but the doubts were already there. Had to be. Oh, I’m sure a few folks changed their minds after that letter, but no way did it swing the election. As far as her gender, of course there are nitwits who wouldn’t vote for a woman regardless, but we all knew that going in, right?

Bottom line, people didn’t trust Hillary Clinton and haven’t for years. She’d been caught in lies and she’s always had this sketchy, phony vibe about her. Say what you want about her husband (who I loved and still love), but he had a charisma that drew voters to him. He could be convincing when he wanted to be (insert Monica Lewinsky joke here), and Hillary has never been able to pull that off. Combine that with Trump telling a lot of people exactly what they wanted to hear and we ended up where we are.

Hillary should just come clean, tell everyone she blew the election, and move on with her life.

But blaming everyone except herself? Big mistake.

Honestly, this may have been the moment she lost the election.

So our esteemed president had a little run-in at the White House recently. Check out the hilarious video first:

See, here’s where Donnie gets in trouble. Twitter Trump and President Trump are two entirely different people. A few months ago The Donald woke up, heard something from someone he passed in the hallway, shot out a couple tweets about Obama illegally wiretapping, and he’s been hammered about it ever since. Here John Dickerson is grilling him in the Oval Office about his own words and things went downhill quickly. He clearly can’t take it and he hates being called on it. Last week he said that the presidency is harder than he thought, that it’s more work than his previous job. Gee, ya think? Being the leader of the free world is a bitch, man. You have to be, you know, held accountable and stuff. That’s not fair, man. Get the hell out of my office.

PS-  I love the “everybody’s talking about it” line. That’s so Trump it hurts.

 

Say goodbye to Hi-C Orange at McDonald’s. The fast-food chain will begin phasing out the beverage on May 1, according to a memo posted this week on Reddit. A representative for McDonald’s told Eat This, Not That that all locations will stop carrying the drink after July.

According to the memo, the chain is introducing a new “proprietary” beverage called Sprite TropicBerry that will be served exclusively at McDonald’s locations. It’s part of the company’s partnership with Coca-Cola.

McDonald’s website touts Hi-C Orange Lavaburst as “packed with crisp citrus flavor,” but customers won’t be able to enjoy it for much longer. You may still have time to order the drink because McDonald’s locations are advised to keep selling it until their current supply is gone.

At least one McDonald’s franchise owner expects a backlash from the move, writing, “It’s gonna be a fun few weeks up ahead. Hi-C is one of the more popular drinks at my location.”

Why, McDonald’s, why?

It’s a dark, dark day in the world of fast food beverages, kids. Just couldn’t get any bleaker. You know what I’ve ordered to drink every time I’ve visited Mickey D’s, ever? Hi-C Orange, man. Why? Because it’s the Nectar of the Gods. It’s the beginning of the end for McDonald’s.

As far as I’m concerned McDonald’s and their Sprite TropicBerry can go straight to hell.

Sometimes people think too much. And sometimes, they give too much power to a bunch of goofballs in their art department or advertising or whoever the hell makes these decisions. Anyway, below you can see the logo the Milwaukee Brewers used from 1978 to 1993:

 See, it’s an M and a B in the form of a glove with a baseball in it. That, my friends, is perfection. How could you improve on that? The answer is you couldn’t. Still, they tried. Sigh.

Well for God’s sake. That’s their logo from 1994 to 1999. Just awful. Confusing too. So, they changed it in 2000 to this:

Good God. Still turrible. And to think they had perfection and had to mess with it for the sake of change. For the love of God Milwaukee Brewers, admit your mistake and go back to the classic. People will thank you for it.

Getting Over Losing

Posted: April 25, 2017 in Coaching, Opinion, Sports
Tags:

We had a tough loss in our state district tournament a couple months ago, and the other day somebody asked me how long it takes to get over a loss like that. The answer?

Never. You never get over it. Not really.

Ask any coach or player in any sport and they’ll say the same thing, if they’re a true competitor. I remember the very first year I coached, and it was Junior High basketball. We lost a tough game early on, as as I looked back at the team from the front of the bus most of them were quietly chatting, smiling and having casual conversations. However, there were a couple who were sitting by themselves, a serious look on their faces, just staring out the bus windows.

Guess which two players ended up being the best high school players? You guessed it.

Nearly every kid I’ve ever coached has loved to win, but the best players I ever coached hated to lose. There’s a big difference.

I coached in a very successful program early in my coaching career, and we lost in the regional final game. One of our players missed a shot at the buzzer to win the game, and it haunts him to this day. He told me it still crosses his mind more than anyone would imagine.

Back in 1993 I had one of the best teams in Ohio, and at one point we were ranked #2 in the state. We lost a key player a little over halfway through the season, were never quite the same, and ended up losing our very first game of the tournament. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to, but although it happened over two decades ago I still think about it probably once a week, just going over in my head what I could have done differently.

Trust me, coaches and players are much harder on themselves than any fan could ever be.

That game we lost back in early March? I’ll never watch the game film. Too painful. Same for that game 24-years ago. Won’t watch it, can’t watch it.

Listen, I know some people won’t understand, they’ll say it’s just a game, not life and death, and they’re right. As I’ve said before, ultimately coaching and playing sports is about relationships and not wins and losses.

But that doesn’t make losing any easier. In fact, being close to your players makes it harder.

Losing? We learn to live with it, but we never, ever get over it.

The AdvocateA plan to quietly ban dodgeball and other “target games” from public schools was shelved Tuesday by Louisiana’s top school board.

The sweeping prohibition was in a new set of physical education benchmarks drawn up by nearly two dozen teachers and others.

“Human target games (e.g. dodge ball) and drills that promote aggressive behaviors by attacking and overpowering other humans are not to be permitted,” according to the proposed standards.

Sponsors of the change said they were surprised by the reaction.

“Honestly, I didn’t think it was going to be an issue,” Kathy Hill, a member of the committee, said a few hours after the meeting.

First things first:

Secondly, Ms. Kathy Hill can go straight to hell. Dodgeball is the greatest game on earth. I bet little Timmy Hill is one of those kids that stand in the back during the dodgeball game, afraid to get hit, while the real go-getters just try and pummel the crap out of him. I also bet Kathy runs to his defense every time he faces the tiniest bit of adversity. Bravo, Louisiana State School Board. Bravo.

PS- Hey, I’ve told you of my love for dodgeball in the acclaimed blog Dodgeball: A Microcosm of Life. Do yourself a favor and read it, man.

Yep. And as you can read below, you can own a pair for a mere $425. Honestly, what kind of a moron would buy these? Number one, why would you want to wear pretend-dirty jeans and look like a homeless dude? Number two, why would you spend $425 on them? On a related note, people are dumb.

CNNDonald Trump’s travel to his private club in Florida has cost over an estimated $20-million in his first 80-days as president, putting the president on pace in his first year of office to surpass former President Barack Obama’s spending on travel for his entire 8-years.

If this surprises you, well, you haven’t been paying attention. And everybody, including our game show host turned President of the United States of America, bitched about how much vacation time Obama took. Here’s an example of one of The Donald’s many tweets:

“President @BarackObama’s vacation is costing taxpayers millions of dollars—-Unbelievable!”

Hey, at least he didn’t add a “SAD!” in there. But hey, Melania is still living in, and being protected at, Trump Tower at our expense ($500,000 a day) so there’s that. Can’t waste time in that trash dump at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. That would suck, man. Anyhoo, gotta hand it to Donnie. Dude shoves it in our face like you read about. Zero conscience.

I’m sure Fox News will be outraged by all this. Expect a full report soon.

On a related note, this is pretty funny, in retrospect:

PS- Honestly? I could not care less how many vacation days a president takes. It’s not the quantity of days spent on the job, after all, but the quality. The hypocrisy of Trump, however, is hilarious. 

 

For the past few weeks people have been going crazy about Michael Jordan’s proclamation after a North Carolina game that, “The ceiling is the roof!” He was at mid-court speaking to the crowd at the time, by the way.

Jordan has been getting pummelled and ridiculed in social media and on sports talk shows for making such a nonsensical statement. Nobody can seem to make sense of it, and my question is this:

Why?

Makes perfect sense to me. See, people are always saying certain players, or programs, have a ceiling, meaning they can only get to a certain point at which they achieve their maximum potential. They can then go no further.

Well, Jordan, who was at a basketball game but was actually talking about NC football, was saying that the program can go higher than they’re expected to, that their ceiling could actually their roof.

Is that really too difficult to understand?

So I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and the subject of time travel came up. This is not a surprise because it fascinates the hell out of me and I enjoy discussing it. You realize there is nothing in the laws of physics to prevent time travel, don’t you? It may be extremely difficult to put into practice, but it is not impossible. You know how jets can exceed the speed of sound? That “BOOM” you hear is the sound of the plane breaking the sound barrier. Then, when you look up the jet is way ahead of the sound, right? Now imagine a jet that could exceed the speed of light. I know, doesn’t sound plausible but neither did airplanes, the internet or Donald Trump back in 1850. Anyway, since the jet was faster than light you’d look up and see its image but the jet would actually be somewhere farther ahead. Still with me? Now imagine that same jet flying in a big circle. Soon the occupants would see themselves up ahead, but in an earlier time. And the bigger the circle the farther back in time the jet up ahead would be. Make sense? OK, sorry to ramble, but the conversation soon turned to what historical events we’d love to go back and witness, and eventually to this blog. Let us commence . . .

CONCERT

Sure, seeing The Beatles on Ed Sullivan live or maybe even being at Sun Studios the day the Million Dollar Quartet jammed would’ve been great. But my choice would be going to a show at The Cavern Club on 10 Matthew Street, Liverpool, in the early summer of 1963. The Beatles performed 292 times at the club in 1961, 1962 and 1963, culminating in a final appearance there on August 3rd, 1963—one month after the group recorded “She Loves You”, and 6-months before their first trip to the United States in February of ’64. The Cavern Club is where The Beatles partied, lived, and where they honed their craft. Being there just one night, just before they burst upon the world, would be amazing.

Note: There’s a wall sculpture that hangs on Mathew Street today with words that say simply, “Four Lads Who Shook the World.” Someday I hope to see it.

SPORTS

I’ve been lucky enough to have attended the Final 4, the World Series and the NBA All-Star Game. I also saw Hank Aaron tie Babe Ruth’s career home run record. On a embarrassing note, I had tickets to the NBA Dunk Contest the year Michael Jordan and Dominique Wilkins went at it but missed it due to circumstances I won’t go into here. Note: I went into it here. Still, if I had to pick it would have to be the college basketball championship game in which UCLA center Bill Walton was nearly perfect,  scoring 44 points on 21-of-22 shooting as his Bruins topped Memphis State. Walton was my favorite player, a team guy, and a joy to watch. Sorry, Magic and Wilt.

HISTORY

Would I have wanted to be there the day Joshua Chamberlain’s troops ran out of ammo at Gettysburg and he made the history changing decision that culminated with him yelling, “BAYONETS!” before leading his troops down Little Round Top? Hells to the yah I would. I’d also love to be there on November 22nd, 1963 so I could either stop John Kennedy’s assassination or at least find out what really happened. Still, if I had but one choice it would be to spend the evening of December 25th, 1776, with General George Washington, the night he made the decision to turn his bedraggled troops around, cross the Delaware, and attack the dreaded Hessians at Trenton, New Jersey. That battle turned around the Revolutionary War. That evening George had read this excerpt from Thomas Paine’s “The Crisis”, published 2-days prior:

“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”

And then he attacked, turning the war in our favor. Without George Washington’s courageous decision that night, you may not be where you are right now and reading this blog. I’d have loved to be sitting around the campfire with him that night.

I know there will be many differing opinions, and I’d like to hear them. So, what say you?

So March Madness begins this week, and all the talking heads will be spewing forth their “expert analysis.” Along with this will be several tired, worn out, and sometimes nonsensical statements. Off the top of my head, here are a few of them:

“This is the time of year when defense will win games for you.”

  • Yes, because we all know defense doesn’t win games for you in the regular season.

“This is the time of year when offense will win games for you.”

  • Yes, because we all know offense doesn’t win games for you in the regular season.

“This guy can really score the basketball.”

  • Listen, you can score, you can be a great scorer, but you cannot score the basketball. And if you could, what else is there to score anyway, besides the basketball? The Pineapple Upside-Down Cake?

Never underestimate a Tom Izzo (or somebody) coached team.”

  • I love Izzo but his Spartans lost their first game in the tournament last year. They also went 19-14 this season, and in every victory they were apparently underestimated. You should never do that.

“Arizona (or somebody) has to travel cross country to play. This will hurt their chances.”

  • Sigh. I actually heard the word “grueling” when describing one of these trips. Just a heads-up for you, but these teams aren’t traveling by covered wagon. Many have charters and private jets. They’re relaxing in in-flight luxury and their bags will be waiting for them when they arrive in their fancy hotels.

“This team is a mid-major, but they’re very quick and athletic.”

  • Translation: This team has a lot of 6′-6″ black guys on its roster.

“This team is a hard-working, fundamental team. They bring their hard hats to work.”

  • Translation: This team has a lot of 6′-6″ white guys on its roster.

“Michigan (or somebody) is hot at the right time.”

  • Incorrect. What happened before this week is not “the right time.” The “right time” is from this Thursday onward. Get hot then and you have something.

“Guard play will win games for you in the tournament.”

  • That is true. So will post play, coaching, defense, and a million other things.

“Post play will win games for you in the tournament.”

  • See “Guard play will win games for you in the tournament.”

“Look out for Wisconsin (or somebody). They have a lot of senior leadership.”

  • Sure, having seniors helps. But I’ll take a team with 5 underclassmen who are lottery picks anyday. See North Carolina, Kentucky, Duke, blah-blah-blah.

“Nobody defends like West Virginia.”

  • This happens to be true. Nobody defends like West Virginia.

“This team is much better than its seed.”

  • In all actuality, there’s not a whole lot of difference once you get past the top 3 or 4 seeds.

“Look out for Middle Tennessee!”

  • Yes, Middle Tennessee seems to be the media darling this year, so look out, Minnesota. After all, they beat a team nobody should never underestimate last year, Tom Izzo’s Michigan State.

In conclusion, I will now give you the 2017 National Champion. You’re welcome in advance:

VILLANOVA

So some dude named Thom (with an h) Browne is an avant garde fashion designer who unleashes some mighty interesting style choices on an unsuspecting public. He recently staged his latest show, and it begs for a look-see from the Shoe: Untied Committee of Style (SUCS). The committee consists of yours truly (CEO and Founder), Sim Hao Xiang (Legal Department) and Ariella Levinsky (Fashion Editorial Assistant). Sim Hao asked to be on the committee because he has a “passion for fashion” (his words). Ariella happens to actually have a degree from Bunka Fashion College in Tokyo, ranked 7th in the world (look it up). Me? I’m on the committee because it’s my website and for my snarky, insightful world view.

The plan is to show you a photo, followed by the committee’s comments and knee-jerk reactions. Enjoy!

Sim Hao: “Daring look here. I like it. Sort of 1920’s throwback.”

Ariella: “The swim caps and socks top off an exciting, fresh look.”

Shoe: “Looks like a Beach Party on Uranus.”

Sim Hao: “Again, a clean, classic look that harkens back to a simpler time.”

Ariella: “The Elizabethan makeup symbolizes the starkness of the style. Wise in a stylistic sense.

Shoe: “Does that bro have whiteface on or did he go overboard with the sunscreen?

Sim Hao: “A daring take on the classic business suit.”

Ariella: “Here Thom is saying that Wall Street is in dire need of some loosening up. Love the leggings.”

Shoe: “Not sure what Thom is saying, other than he’s batshit crazy.”

Sim Hao: “The black and white look never goes out of style. Love love love.”

Ariella: “While the white lips are jarring at first glance, they’re simply an extension of the entire fashion statement.”

Shoe: “Listen, I’m not a PC guy but that’s racist. Wait. Is that a dog purse? Cool.

Sim Hao: “Love this look, and the boots are fabulous.”

Ariella: “The long-flowing arms are saying that our reach is limitless and has no bounds.”

Shoe: “How in the hell can you perform the most basic human functions with those sleeves? And my dominant eye is my right one so I’d be screwed.”

Sim Hao: “A light, airy look. Bravo!”

Ariella: “Again, the feathers symbolize freedom and an ability to take flight from our inhibitions. Well played, Thom Browne!

Shoe: “How many chickens died here in the name of fashion? On a related note, feather shorts are not a horrible idea.”

Sim Hao: “Omigod! I simply must see his footwear!

Ariella: “Here Thom has gone beyond white, showing that freedom comes in all the colors of the rainbow!

Shoe: “Looks like a hyena ate a bunch of parrots and vomited on this poor guy.

Sim Hao: ‘The black bird headgear is the perfect counteraction to the white outfit. Genius!

Ariella: “Thom is now simply going beyond style. He’s showing we can actually be a bird and possess all their best qualities.”

Shoe: “Oh, for Christ’s sake. That dude would never make it through hunting season where I come from. And he sort of quit from the knees down, didn’t he? I mean, really? Brown loafers?”*

*Maybe they’re red. Still bad.

Sim Hao: “Another modern take on a classic look. And the chokers are fab!

Ariella: “This look is right in line with Thom’s artistic vision. The plastic gloves are saying, ‘Let’s get dirty!” Sexy look indeed.

Shoe: “Looks like the 1776 British Army Infantry, Gay Division.

Sim Hao: “They look like mysterious superheroes! Oh how I love this look!”

Ariella: “Thom is famous for his bowler hats. Here’s a fresh, unique look at an old fashion staple. Courageous creativity at its pinnacle.

Shoe: “Wait. Face hats are a thing? Who knew? I know a few people who could use one, including Thom Browne after trying to sell people this trash.”

So there you have it kids, Shoe: Untied’s take on the Thom Browne Fashion Show. Go buy your face hats and feather coats today!