Here’s the “10 Elements of a Soulmate” list, with my observations of course.

I ran across this list in The Huffington Post’s “Healthy Living” section, and it was written by one Dr. Carmen Harra. I thought it was screaming out for a man’s take, and of course I am that man. My observations are in italics.

The 10 Elements of a Soulmate:

1. It’s something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.

Uh, Dr. Harra, isn’t that what we call love? But who can really define love, after all? I’ll give you the answer – nobody. Not only can’t most people describe it, most people aren’t 100% sure whether they’re in it or not. Then again, maybe I’m just describing myself. Never mind. 

2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and scope each other out in the big world. You might suddenly and briefly experience flashbacks of your soulmate. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.

Oh, I have flashbacks about women alright, and they usually end up with me sitting bolt upright in bed in a cold sweat and shaking uncontrollably. 

3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finsh each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.

Oh gawd. I hate couples like this, finishing each other’s sentences, wearing matching sweaters, proclaiming their perfect relationship on Facebook. Maybe I’m too cynical, but I always figure when they get home it’s a whole different story, just unspeakable ugliness taking place willy-nilly. I don’t know, it just seems like the bragging is some sort of cover-up to me.

4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you both love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.

Atta girl, doc! That’s the secret. Tell the ladies to love my flaws. My impatience, my stubbornness, my sometimes irrational thinking and reasoning, I could go on and on, trust me. Anyway ladies, love my flaws and hell yes, I think we’re good to go. 

5. It’s intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.

This is an element with which I wholeheartedly agree. Seriously, the intensity in a good relationship can go both ways. I once had a friend who told me his parents had never, ever been in a fight. I figured it either wasn’t true or they were the most boring, lifeless human beings on the planet. Fire is good, but it can burn you too. And you know what’s worse? No fire at all. Damn I’m deep.

6. You two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” They feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soulmate by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on compromise and unity above all else.

Wait. What? Everything except that last sentence makes no sense to me at all. If you’re really in love does it matter what the world thinks? Hell to the nah.

7. You’re mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soulmates.

Wait. Isn’t this exactly the same as #3? Does the doctor have some sort of word quota she has to fill? And it’s been my experience that people who are a lot alike never make a good couple. You need a balance, correct? Different views that can meet in the middle? Variety is the spice of life and all that? And isn’t the alternative incredibly boring?

8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. This means that if you’re a man, yes, your woman should make you feel protected, too! Your soulmate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soulmate.

Oh, for God’s sake. I like strong, independent women, not somebody who needs “protected.” Then again, it’s not like I have the greatest track record in the world so maybe I should re-evaluate my strategy. Disregard.

9. You can’t imagine your life without him (or her). A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.

Gee, ya think? If you really love somebody I’d hope you’d feel that way, as opposed to, “Meh. I can take her or leave her. It really doesn’t matter either way.” Good grief. Did it really take a doctor to come up with these gems?

10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.

I swear to you the doc had to have 10-reasons, could only think of 9, and this is what she came up with for #10. Are there couples walking around looking down at the ground as they talk about where to go for dinner? And only the “soulmates” look each other in the eye? Who doesn’t look each other in the eye, other than anti-social misfits? I’m getting a headache.

I don’t know, perhaps I’m too skeptical. Like I said, I may not be the best guy to judge this list. Then again, my son once asked me for advice about a girl and the conversation went something like this:

“Gee son, I don’t know if I’m the best guy to ask for advice about women. You know my track record.”

“Yeah Dad, I know. But you’ve screwed up so much I sorta figured you’d know what not to do.”

I had to admit, he had a good point.