Just so you know, you can use octopuses, octopi or even octopodes, the latter of which is rather awesome.
But seriously, do you have any idea what these creatures are capable of? I’ve been doing some octopus research recently and have been somewhat flabbergasted by these amazing animals. Why have I been doing octopus research, you ask? Why do I do anything? Because I either find it funny, it angers me or it fascinates me. Deal with it.
Anyhoo, there are several things I found out about octopuses that are intriguing as hell, and I also have a pretty cool story and a video to pass on as well. The video is at the bottom, and you simply must watch it. Your mind will be blown.
Let’s get to it. I’ll start with the story we ran across during my crack staff’s extensive research. Read on:
There are also documented cases of octopuses unscrewing lids of baby-proof bottles, squeezing through tiny holes and entering houses to steal food, and stacking shells to form fortresses in the ocean. Jeepers creepers, man.
Here are some other cool facts:
- Octopuses don’t have 8-legs. They have 4-pairs of arms. Somehow that sounds way more scary.
- Octopuses can walk across land. Again, j-u-s-t a tad horrifying.
- Octopuses use tools and weapons. There have been cases of octopuses beating a diver over the head with a conch shell. Sweet Mother of God.
- Octopuses have unique, distinct personalities, just like people. Well, most people.
- Octopuses have three hearts. Two pump blood through each of the two gills, while the third pumps blood through the body.
- When discovered, an octopus will release a cloud of black ink to obscure its attacker’s view, giving it time to swim away. The ink even contains a substance that dulls a predator’s sense of smell, making the fleeing octopus harder to track. Diabolical.
- Fast swimmers, they can jet forward by expelling water through their mantles. And their soft bodies, with no internal or external skeleton, can squeeze into impossibly small cracks and crevices where predators can’t follow. Sneaky and slimy, dangerous combination. Trust me, I used to have a superintendent back in the 00’s that fit that description perfectly.
- Octopuses have beaklike jaws that can deliver a nasty bite, and
venomous saliva, used mainly for subduing prey. Sorta looks like a parrot’s beak. Hey, there’s one right there >>>>>>.
- If all else fails, an octopus can lose an arm to escape a predator’s grasp and re-grow it later with no permanent damage. The arms can even react after they’ve been completely severed. In one experiment, severed arms jerked away in pain when researchers pinched them.W-h-u-u-u-u-t?
- Octopuses arms have a mind of their own. Two-thirds of an octopus’ neurons reside in its arms, not its head. As a result, the arms can problem solve how to open a shellfish while their owners are busy doing something else, like checking out a cave for more edible goodies or planning to overthrow the world.
And finally and most remarkably . . .
- Octopuses are capable of changing their body shape and color to mimic other animals and other ocean life. Check it:
Good God almighty, that was impressive. I agree with the dude in the video. Chameleons got nuthin’ on the octopodes.
So there’s your nature Lesson ‘o’ the Day, kids. I hope you learned something, I know I did. But after reading this, I have a ominous feeling that somewhere, out in the ocean, there’s an island where octopuses are fine-tuning their walking abilities. And then someday in the future, Hawaii or Bermuda or some other small isolated island will be attacked by marauding, spear-wielding and poison ink squirting octopuses. An Octopi Army if you will. And this future conflict will be called by CNN the Revenge of the Calamari or something along those lines.
Prepare yourselves, people. Prepare yourselves.
But damn. Octopuses, man.