A pet saddleback tamarin hangs on to Yoina Mameria Nontsotega as the Matsigenka girl takes a dip in the Yomibato River, deep inside Peru’s Manú National Park. On a related note, Yoina is a stellar name.
Tags: Incredible Photo of the Day: A Girl and Her Saddleback Tamarin
Tags: Cool Animal of the Day: The Channel Islands Fox
This little dude is native to the Channel Islands and found nowhere else on Earth. It is one of the smallest canine species in the world, weighing in at just 4 or 5-pounds, and is the only carnivore unique to California. That’s just 5-pounds of badass, man. Go eat some flesh, little bro. Anyhoo, Channel Islands Fox.
Tags: Why is the Parmesan cheese not with the other cheeses?
My problems with supermarkets have been well documented on this site, be it running into weirdos or not being able to find something. Hell, I even came up with the ultimate solution in my acclaimed blog Introducing the Brocery Store.
Anyhoo, once again I was at The Krog today when I ran into an issue that’s perplexing, bewildering, befuddling, confusing and flummoxing. It’s a question that begs to be answered, and in fact I demand that it be answered:
WHY IN THE HELL IS THE PARMESAN CHEESE NOT WITH THE OTHER CHEESES?
Seriously, are we discriminating against Parmesan cheese because you can sprinkle it on stuff? Is it not hardy and solid enough? Hey, Swiss cheese is full of holes and it gets to hang with the big boys. So does shredded cheese for Lord’s sake. Yes, you read that right – the shredded Parmesan cheese is with the main cheeses and the sprinkle Parmesan cheese is not. The earth just tilted on its axis, and somewhere an old woman reading this fell over dead from cardiac arrest.
I swear to God I stood in the cheese section for 10-minutes looking for my beloved Parmesan cheese, only to be told by a passing shelf-stocker that it was over with the noodles. Say what? Outrageous.
In conclusion, whoever made this Parmesan cheese decision can go straight to hell.
Tags: Draymond Green is a dirty player, Draymond Green's Crotch kicks
The Golden State Warriors have a serial kicker on their team and he must be stopped. Some analysts, jock-sniffer Michael Wilbon among them, actually try and describe this as a natural basketball move. That, my friends, is insane. If it’s natural then why is he the only one doing it? And more importantly, why is Draymond Green so obsessed with other men’s crotches? Let’s take a look . . .
First up is a pretty blatant kick to Marquese Chriss’s back crotch. Yes, there is such a thing as you shall see.
Next we have one of his most famous groin shots, this one to the nether regions of Steven Adams in the playoffs.
Here he is kicking James Harden in the head, something I’ve always wanted to do but that doesn’t excuse it. This is a rarity because another man’s junk isn’t involved.
Here’s a kick and a miss at Allen Crabbe. Hey, you can’t make contact with another dude’s privates all the time. Sorry, Dray.
And finally, here’s an amazing compilation of Draymond Green’s dirty plays. It’s amazing how he always plays the innocent victim. What a tool.
So why hasn’t Green been punished more than he has already? After all this, dude is still alive and kicking. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
Tags: Santa Falls Off the Roof
This video is 9-years old but I swear to you it never gets old. I literally laugh out loud every single time I see it. Seeing someone hurt themselves in a Santa Suit is always 100-times funnier than seeing a regular person fail. That’s Humor 101.
Tags: Cool Animal of the Day: The White Nosed Coati
This little dude is a close relative of the raccoon and has adapted to a variety of climates, including deserts and rainforests. In the United States it is primarily found in the Southwest. The Coati’s most distinctive feature is its long, flexible snout, which it uses to dig around in soil and leaves for grubs and other food. Nothing cooler than a flexible snout, amirite? The coati also has a particularly large tail that makes up about half the length of its body—and which it uses to keep its balance as it adeptly climbs trees. Anyhoo, White Nosed Coati.
Tags: Butch Walker: "Synthesizers"
I love Paint Valley. I always will. I attended school there from 1961 to 1974, 1st Grade to senior year. I also taught there from 1991 to the present.
Paint Valley is in my blood.
I love the school district, I love the towns, and I love the people. But most of all, I love the kids.
And it pains me to see them hurting.
You see, Paint Valley is a family. A real family. Maybe it’s because we’re such a small school, I don’t know, but it’s a special bond we all feel.
In victory, we’re a family.
In defeat, we’re a family.
And in death, we’re a family.
Especially in death.
We’ve had more than our share of loss over the past few years. Way too many have passed, and they passed way too young. We’ve lost beautiful, vibrant lives, kids who touched us with the sheer force of their amazing, unique, loving personalities.
And man, has it been hard on us.
But as we honor and never forget those we’ve lost, we also move on. We grow stronger in honor of their memory.
And we always, always stick together as the small, close-knit school, community and family that we are. We heal together.
We’ve been knocked to one knee before, but we always get up.
Because we are Paint Valley.
Tags: Memories of Twin School
Tags: Map of the Day: Elements of the World
Tags: Great Basin Spadefoot Toad
This unusual little bro goes where most toads fear to tread, living in a variety of habitats, including arid desert areas. W-h-a-a-a-a-t? It survives the dry heat by taking up another odd and unusual habit: burrowing. W-h-a-a-a-t again? The toad’s namesake “spades”—the hard protrusions on the animal’s hind feet—help it dig a path into the sand where it can spend weeks at a time underground between rains. That’s diabolical and smart, man. And get this – even the tadpoles can bury themselves for protection. Spadefoot Toads are sometimes referred to as “explosive breeders,” which I’m not touching with a 10-foot, uh, pole. Anyhoo, Great Basin Spadefoot Toad.
Rolling Stone Has Released Its Top 20 Albums of 2016, And I Apparently Know Nothing About Music AnymorePosted: November 30, 2016 in Music, Opinion, Rock Music
Tags: Rolling Stone Has Released Its Top 20 Albums of 2016
So Rolling Stone magazine released their top albums of 2016, which is always an interesting read. It also makes me feel incredibly disconnected to modern music. You know, back in the day I’d peruse this list and would inevitably own at least half of them. Today? Not so much. That said, I shall now peruse said list and add my comments to each. Let us proceed . . .
1. “Lemonade” – Beyonce’
- Nope. Couldn’t name one song. Not into her. Sorry Beyhive.
2. “Blackstar” – David Bowie
- Listen, I love Bowie. However, you know the single most important thing an artist needs to do to have critics like them? Die.
3. “Coloring Book” – Chance the Rapper
4. “Teens of Denial” – Car Seat Headrest
- I’ve heard a couple songs from this “hot new alt band.” Not impressed.
5. “Blonde” – Frank Ocean
- Any relation to Billy? Caribbean Queen? Get Out of My Dreams and Into My Car? Nothing? OK.
6. “A Moon Shaped Pool” – Radiohead
- Wait. Radiohead made an album?
7. “Blue and Lonesome” – Rolling Stones
- Wait. The Rolling Stones are still alive?
8. “The Life of Pablo” – Kanye West
- Not my cup of tea. And his music would have to be really, really good to overcome his abhorrent, narcissistic behavior.
9. “You Want It Darker” – Leonard Cohen
- Cohen has always been a critic’s darling. I can take it or leave it.
10. “Jeffrey” – Young Thug
11. “A Seat at the Table” – Solange
12. “Stranger to Stranger” – Paul Simon
- Listen, I know I may hold a grudge a little too long, but I haven’t liked Paul Simon since he said, “The world is waiting for two reunions. Simon and Garfunkel and The Beatles.” He said it in 1977 and it still makes me cringe that he compared the two.
13. “Hero” – Maren Morris
14. “Revolution” – Green Day
- Hey, I love Green Day. Always have. And this album is pretty much what we’ve been getting from the last 3-4 albums. Good stuff.
15. “Return to Love” – Lvl Up
16. “The Weight of These Wings” – Miranda Lambert
- I like Miranda Lambert. I think she’s really good and from what I’ve heard of it this is a good album.
17. “Human Performance” – Parquet Courts
18. “I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware of It” – The 1975
- I love The 1975. They remind me of MGMT which is a good thing. And that title is stellar.
19. “Atrocity Exhibition” – Danny Brown
20. “Skeleton Tree” – Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
- Meh. Never been a huge fan. They’ve always been a little too arrogant and self-important to me.
Oh, and did you know that Elton John and The Monkees both released new albums this year? It’s true, man. Who knew? Guess I need to pay more attention?
Tags: Adulting Classes, So Apparently "Adulting Classes" Are A Thing Now?
So yesterday we learned that, for the first time, more 18-34 year olds are living with their parents than not. Disgusting. And now, this:
[WSJ] – In the last several years, there’s been growing alarm over the fact that many young people can no longer perform basic skills. In fact, one survey goes so far as to say that there are 20 basic skills – ranging from reading a map, looking something up in a book, spelling, grammar, handling money and handwriting – that are in danger of extinction in some of the developed parts of the world.
According to a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, this is becoming such a problem in the West that a couple of enterprising individuals created a business to pass these skills on to the next generation. Known as “The Adulting School,” the business aims to teach young people how to handle basic financial matters, simple household management, and other things one needs to live a successful adult life.
While it sounds humorous, it’s also rather tragic at the same time. How in the world did we end up with a generation of incapable adults?
Well, listen up wall Street Journal. I’ll tell you exactly how we ended up with a generation of incapable adults:
It’s their mommy and daddy’s fault.
Consider this – Parents have been taught that saying “no” to their child could permanently damage that child’s self-esteem. They’ve leaped in to “save” their child from any form of adversity, be it from a teacher, coach or neighborhood bully, rather than letting the child deal with the problem themselves.
They’ve also given them allowances and provided them with all the money they want, but never taught them to effectively earn and wisely manage that same money.
Parents also, for reasons unknown to me, feel their child should always be entertained. Because of this they involve them in every activity under the sun, from play dates to showering them with toys and computer games, but neglect to keep them involved in other ways like, you know, chores and stuff.
For you millennials, I know it’s a foreign concept but “chores” are activities like mowing the yard, taking out the trash, cleaning your room, barbaric stuff like that. Some kids even used to have to prepare their own plate at dinner! Gasp!
Honestly, young adults should not have to be taking an “Adulting Class” in order to learn the basic skills of life. Good grief. They should already have learned them from their parents as they grew up.
Really, shouldn’t kid’s lives revolve around their parents and not vice versa? Shouldn’t the ultimate goal of every parent be to raise a child that will someday, sooner than later, be prepared to exist on their own, independently?
Sadly, until parenting changes and children realize they’re not the center of the universe we’ll never see another generation of capable, responsible young adults.
Until then, there’s always Adulting Classes!
PS – Just talking about modern parenting in general, there are some amazing exceptions of course. But seriously, “Adulting Classes”?
Tags: Positive Thoughts of the Day
Tags: Map of the Day: If The Colonies Had Lost The Revolution
Tags: Van Zant: "Help Somebody"
Tags: Cool Animal of the Day: The Yellow-Bellied Marmot
Check out that Yellow-Bellied Marmot, just chillin’ on a rock. Honestly, that marmot looks like a Groundhog to me. It is sometimes referred to as a “Whistle Pig” because of the high-pitched noises it makes to warn others in its clan of possible predators. Weird, because that’s what we called Groundhogs when I was a kid. The Marmot lives in burrows that vary from 3 to 23-feet deep, and because it hibernates for a solid eight months a year, it can spend roughly 80% of its life underground, sorta like my friend Nicky from Freehold, Jersey. Anyhoo, Yellow-Bellied Marmot.
PS – Then again, maybe that’s a Woodchuck. I’m so confused.
Tags: Napoleon's Quote About A Dog Will Hit You Right In The Feels
Somehow, I’d never read this quote from Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon found a dog beside the body of his dead master, licking his face and howling, on a moonlit field after a battle. He was haunted by this scene until his own death. Here’s the quote:
“This soldier, I realized, must have had friends at home and in his regiment; yet he lay there deserted by all except his dog. I looked on, unmoved, at battles which decided the future of nations. Tearless, I had given orders which brought death to thousands. Yet here I was stirred, profoundly stirred, stirred to tears. And by what? By the grief of one dog.”
Tags: Ryan Reynold's Tweets Are Comedy Gold
Tags: Living With Parents Is Now The Most Common Arrangement For People Aged 18-34
To that point, about 33% of all millennials live with their parents, slightly more than the proportion who live with a spouse or partner. It’s the first time that living at home has outpaced living with a spouse for this age group since such record-keeping began in 1880.
See what you’ve done, parents? You’ve babied, spoiled, and enabled your kids to the point that they’re sponging off of you until they’re nearing middle-age. I swear to God I hope they eat you out of house and home.
And how do these people date? What do you do after dinner, take your girl back for a nightcap with mom and dad? I can imagine the conversation as you pull in the driveway:
“Ooh, nice place you have here, Seth. How long have you lived here?”
“Uh, 34-years actually.”
Hey, when I was younger anyone living with their parents past the age of 25 was ridiculed, mocked, scorned and possibly spat upon.
Is it that hard to raise a kid that grows into a strong, independent, self-reliant person by the age of 21?
Grow up America!
Tags: Shoe: Untied True Fact o' the Day
Samoset was the first Native American to make contact with the Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony. On March 16, 1621, the settlers were shocked when Samoset strolled straight through the middle of the encampment at Plymouth Colony and greeted them in English, which he had learned from English fishermen frequenting the local waters.
Tags: Map of the Day: The 124 States of America (If All Secession Movements Had Succeeded).
Tags: Cool Animal of the Day: The Burrowing Owl
Look at those Burrowing Owls, man. Just cute like you read about. One of the smallest owls on the continent, this little dude lives in burrows that other animals such as prairie dogs and skunks have already excavated (though it will sometimes dig its own). Unlike other owls, these birds are diurnal, meaning that they are active during the daytime rather than at night. Burrowing Owls just goin’ against the grain like a boss, man. And check this out – this bro has unusually long legs that help him raise up for a better view from where he perches on the ground. That’s cool. Anyhoo, Burrowing Owl.
Tags: Doing the Heisman Pose incorrectly, Players are getting the Heisman Pose wrong, The Heisman Pose - They're doing it wrong
The first player I can remember doing the “Heisman Pose” was Desmond Howard back in 1991 against the Buckeyes. In the years since couple others have tried, and like Howard they totally screwed it up. Let’s take a look:
Here’s the aforementioned Desmond Howard. Cute but incorrect.
Here’s Patrick Peterson giving a good but ultimately mistaken effort.
Next up is USC’s Adoree’ Jackson from yesterday with what can only be described as an awful attempt. Dude looks constipated or something.
Why are these wrong, you ask? Because they’re not posing like the Heisman Trophy. Not even close. As you can see, the back leg is bent and the front foot is firmly on the ground, unlike the nitwit pea brains I’ve shown.
And so I ask again, why can’t anyone get the “Heisman Pose” right?