Translating texts from La-La Land.

Let me explain . . .

A friend of mine had to have a procedure done at the hospital early this morning, and since he was going to be put under he asked me if I’d run him out to the hospital and then bring him home afterwards. I told him no problem, and I kept my promise even after he told me he had to be there by 6:45am.

I’m that kind of a guy. Sometimes.

Anyway, I dropped him off with instructions to shoot me a text when he was finished and I’d be there in short order. Simple enough plan, eh?

Not really.

A couple hours later I was sitting in my car reading the newspaper when my phone chirped. Text message from my buddy! He must be ready to roll. Except when I looked at the message I saw this:

“Eealsomf me n haf gour._”

I swear that’s exactly how the message read. For a second I thought he’d somehow, through the magic of anesthesia, obtained the power to write in some sort of Elvish script. Upon closer inspection and extensive study, however, I realized he meant “releasing me in half an hour.”

Good God.

So, here’s a heads-up for y’all. If you’re ever asked pick up somebody up that’s going to be in a semi-conscious stupor, think your plan through first.

Just sayin’.