Archive for the ‘Randomness’ Category

Thought provoking.

The Walking Dead’s Andrew Lincoln’s father-in-law is Ian Anderson, legendary frontman for the band Jethro Tull.

As Marvins go our own Marvin Lewis has to be one of the worst, amirite? The bland, unimaginative, uninspiring, average former coach of the Cincinnati Bengals was employed for 16-seasons and compiled a record of 131-129-3, including a putrid 0-7 record in the playoff games, four of which were at home. That’s hard to do, man. In addition, in the Marvin Lewis Era the Bengals ranked 30th in winning percentage during primetime games. That’s just awful, and should come as no surprise to long-suffering Bengals fans. Anywho, I’m sure glad that buffoon is gone and I’ll at least give the next buffoon that the Brown family hires a chance, even if it is Hue Freakin’ Jackson. God I hope it’s not Hue Jackson.

The Look.

But on to the Top 10 Marvins Better Than Marvin Lewis. Why? Because I can.

Note: After much rigorous, vigorous and dare I say strenuous research by my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied we came up with Marvin Lewis’s actual Marvin all-time world ranking. It is #7,393,499,866,474. 

#1 – Marvin Gaye

Der. Best Marvin ever, hands down. Come on, man. “Let’s Get It On”? “Sexual Healing”? “What’s Going On”? “Mercy Mercy Me”? National Anthem at the NBA All-Star game in 1983? Legend, man. Marvin Gaye was one of the greatest R & B singers of all-time.

#2 – Marvin the Martian

Hell yes Marvin the Martian. Dude was badass and could zap the hell out of you in a heartbeat. Loved this little alien bro.

#3 – Marvin Hagler

Kids, “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler was a mean fighting machine. He reigned as the undisputed middleweight champion from 1980 to 1987, making 12-defenses of that title, and currently holds the highest knockout percentage of all undisputed middleweight champions, at 78%. Did you read that? He knocked out nearly 8 of 10 opponents he faced. Sweet Jesus. Check him out:

As you can see, there was none of that Floyd Mayweather slap fighting crap with Marvelous Marvin. He came to fight.

#4 – Marvin Barnes

Kids, Marvin Barnes was another Marvin with a fabulous nickname. His was Marvin “Bad News” Barnes. Why “Bad News” you ask? Well, because although Marvin was one hell of a basketball player, he also used to get in a lot of trouble. In high school Marvin was part of a gang that attempted to rob a bus. He was quickly identified as he was wearing his state championship jacket with his name embroidered on it. While playing center for Providence College, he attacked a teammate with a tire iron. Yowza. While in the NBA he was arrested for carrying an unloaded gun in his bag at the Detroit Metropolitan Airport and served 152-days in Rhode Island state prison. Then, when he got out he was arrested for burglary, drug possession, and trespassing. It’s the age-old story of a potentially great career cut short by stupidity. Still, he’s leaps and bounds ahead of Marvin Lewis.

#5 – Marv Levy

Marv Levy coached in the NFL for the Kansas City Chiefs (1978–1982) and the Buffalo Bills (1986–1997), coaching the Bills to four consecutive American Football Conference championships. The problem is he lost all four Super Bowl appearances. But hey, he got there, right? Still, Marv was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2001. Good dude from what I’ve read.

#6 – Marvin Miller

You may not know Marvin Miller, but he was one of the most influential people in sports history. You see, Marvin was Executive Director of the Major League Baseball Players Association from 1966 to 1982. Under his direction the players’ union was transformed into one of the strongest unions in the United States. Quite simply Marvin Miller, along with Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson, is one of the two or three most important men in baseball history.

#7 – Marvin Webster

Marvin Barnes had what was perhaps the greatest nickname in sports history – “The Human Eraser.” This was because he was a shot blockin’ demon of the highest order. Marvin played in the ABA and NBA with the Denver Nuggets, Seattle SuperSonics, New York Knicks and Milwaukee Bucks.

#8 – Marvin Hamlisch

Marvin Hamlisch was an American composer and conductor. Hamlisch was one of only fifteen people to win Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony awards. He recorded the song “The Entertainer” which only old people will know about. It’s an instrumental that was featured in the movie “The Sting.” By the way, “The Entertainer” was written by Scott Joplin in 1902. Boom.

Fun Fact: Marvin Hamlisch was married to Terre Blair, a native of Columbus, Ohio. She used to do the weather and sometimes anchor the news on Channel 6 in Columbus. They were married from 1989 until he died in 2012.

#9 – Marvin Harrison

Marvin Harrison is a former NFL wide receiver in the NFL. He played college football for Syracuse University, and was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts in the first round of the 1996 NFL Draft. He spent all 13 of his NFL seasons with the Colts, most of them with quarterback Peyton Manning, and is widely considered as one of the greatest and most productive wide receivers in NFL history. He was elected to the NFL Hall of Fame in 2016. Also noteworthy – Marvin Harrison was allegedly involved in a gunfight in Philadelphia, and later the man who was involved was found murdered a couple blocks from Harrison’s nightclub. Marvin was never convicted of anything, but you know, yikes.

#10 – Marvin Bagley III

Marvin Bagley III is a 19-year old player for the Sacramento Kings of the NBA. He played college basketball for the hated Duke Blue Devils and was a 2018 All-American. He was selected with the second overall pick by the Kings in the 2018 NBA draft. Helluva player who just barely breaks the Top 10.

So there you have it, kids, the Top 10 Marvins of All-Time, more proof that the content contained within Shoe: Untied is the most unique in all of webdom. You’re welcome.