The 1938 Dating Guide for Single Ladies Should Be Required Reading For All Women.*

Now you’ve upset your date AND the headwaiter.

*Sarcasm alert.

So I ran across this today and thought it was very informative and well done, a must for any woman seeking that special man. My comments follow the valuable dating tips. Take notes, ladies!

A DATING GUIDE FOR SINGLE LADIES (1938)

1. Do your dressing in your boudoir to keep your allure. Be ready to go when your date arrives, don’t keep him waiting. Greet him with a smile!

Hell yeah! Be ready on time, damn it, and do it with a smile! And I’m not sure what a boudoir is, but I’m all for “keeping your allure” and stuff.

2. Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchief and smudge them with lipstick. Put your makeup on in private, not where he sees you.

Exactly. Nothing worse than a woman borrowing your hanky and smudging it with lipstick. Disgusting. And leave the tune-up work for the restroom, please.

3. Don’t sit in awkward positions, and never look bored, even if you are. Be alert, and if you must chew gum (not advised) do it silently with your mouth closed.

The 1938 Dating Guide for Single Women just described 90% of the girls I’ve ever taken on a date. Where was this thing when I needed it?

4. Careless women never appeal to gentlemen. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance.

Well, duh. Just shut it and shake that booty!

5. Don’t use the car mirror to fix your make-up. Man needs it when driving, and it annoys him very much to have to turn around and see what’s behind him. 

Yes it does. Apparently they never had mirrors on the passenger side sun visors back in ’38. And didn’t we cover the publicly applying make-up back in #2? Clean it up, girls!

6. If you need a brassiere, wear one. Don’t tug at your girdle, and be careful your stockings are not wrinkled.

Preach it! Nothing more disgusting than a girdle-tugging, brassiereless woman with wrinkled stockings. Please ladies, leave the girdle-tugging to the guys.

7. Don’t be familiar with your escort by caressing him in public. Any open show of affection is in bad taste, and it usually embarrasses or humiliates him.

So, so true. Hands off the merchandise in public. A little self-control, please.

8. Don’t be sentimental or try to get him to say something he doesn’t want to by working on his emotions.

W-h-a-a-t? Working on a man’s emotions? A woman would never try such a thing in 2017! Blasphemy! How dare you, 1938 Dating Guide for Single Ladies!

9. Don’t be familiar with the headwaiter, talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men deserve and desire your entire attention.

They’re just straight dead-on with this one. Nothing is more upsetting than having your date be familiar with the headwaiter. Regular waiter? No problem. Headwaiter? Problem. And nothing ruins a date quicker than hearing your girl talk about the great time she had with Carlos at the midnight rave last Saturday night. As for that last part, just remember it’s all about him, girls, and everything will be fine. Nobody wants to hear about you.

10. Don’t talk about clothes or try and describe your new gown to a man. Please and flatter your date by talking about things he wants to talk about. 

Didn’t we just cover this in #9? Then again, it is important enough to go over again. Just remember. Women? Unimportant and irrelevant. Men? Important and relevant. You have this man’s permission to print this out if you think you might forget.

11. Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. Drinking may make some girls clever, but most get silly.

Because men never get silly when they drink. Ever. Clean it up, ladies, and keep your dignity.

12. Don’t be conspicuous talking to other men. And the last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again!

Indeed. Talking to other males is just disrespectful. And we know that too much liquor just makes some women clever but most silly. As for the passing out thing, that’s just bad manners for any self-respecting woman. Guys, on the other hand, may become plastered out of their gourd because, you know, men are allowed to.

That is, if you can trust that female to drive you home.