Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

Violence in cartoons was intense back in the day, man. People thought it was the height of comedy to have cartoon characters blow each other up or blast each other’s heads off. And even movies cartoons could be emotionally intense. Check out this scene when Bambi’s mother got shot by hunters:

Hell, that scene can scar a 7-year old for life. It’s tough for even me to watch it right now. Guess we were a little more callous back in the day.

Don’t get me wrong, kids are probably exposed to more violence today, it’s just not disguised as humor. If you don’t believe me just take a look at video games like Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat or Postal. They’re blood orgies to put it mildly.

Like I said, the interesting aspect of the older cartoons is that they were contained within these cute little TV shows about, usually, talking animals of all things. We’ll take a look at just a few, but first, a video so you can get the vibe:

Sort of jarring when you see it all at once, ya know?

After perusing just a few Tom & Jerry cartoons on the YouTube I viewed the following:

  • Jerry stuffing a lit stuck of dynamite into Tom’s mouth, where it explodes.
  • Tom shooting himself in the head with a shotgun.
  • Jerry slamming a red-hot waffle iron shut on Tom’s tail.
  • Jerry getting impaled through the groin with a pool stick. Not kidding.
  • Jerry slicing Tom’s tail to shreds with a pair of scissors.

Check it:

I swear, what happens on these shows rivals any torture or murder ever seen on the show Criminal Minds. Those little scamps were evil, dude.

And everyone remembers Pepe Le Pew, right?  Little bro was a French skunk with an aversion to taking no for an answer, Le Pew’s adventures read like a “How To” book on sexual harassment. Narcissistic, creepy, and obsessed with every female prospect that crossed his path, Le Pew was the ultimate anti-role model for a society trying to make steps towards gender equality. Here’s a sample of Pepe sexually harassing a cat. Yes, I just typed that:

Finally, what about the morbidly obese Fat Albert? Hell, today those friends that called him fat would find themselves in Sensitivity Training, since obesity is now being called a psychological condition. And the callousness doesn’t end there, kids. Consider poor Dumb Donald, Mushmouth, Weird Harold, and Bucky. Poor victims were given cruel nicknames that mocked their greatest insecurities and handicaps, over which they have little or no control. Tragic really. Here’s poor Mushmouth, who clearly had issues:

Oh, and what about Popeye? Dude used to beat the hell out of everyone.

Sadly, many brutal scenes have been edited out when shown nowadays, and that’s sort of sad. I mean, we all turned out OK, right?

Right?

Advertisements

Pretty sure he was saying to get the hell out of there.

Before we begin, let us simply recall the iconic opening to every episode of one of the most amazing TV shows of all-time, The Twilight Zone . . .

Yes, there were variations of the same opening, but you get the gist.

I recorded the Twilight Zone Marathon recently, and I just finished watching nearly 70-episodes. There were 156 total, but these were deemed some of the best. I learned a few things while watching, and the most striking of these was that Rod Serling got away with a lot of crazy and outrageous stuff.  More on that later.

I also learned that lots of stars and future stars were on the show. People like Mickey Rooney, William Shatner, Ron Howard, Burt Reynolds, Carol Burnett, Buster Keaton, Robert Redford, Dennis Hopper, Leonard Nimoy, Lee Marvin, and Don Rickles all guest starred. The décor – early 60’s Mad Men style.

Another aspect that stood out was the introductions and closing remarks by Serling. Just incredible writing. Here’s a sample:

Nobody else, and I mean nobody, could pull that off like Serling. Love it. Here’s a sample of one of his closing monologues:

Again, so well done.

It was also amazing how Serling touched on political issues of the day. Some episodes even touched on World War II and the treatment of Jews.  This was just 15-18 years after the war, and the scenes were brutal. They spoke of the experiments done on prisoners and everything. Pretty incredible for such a conservative era.

That said, I’ll now give you my 12 favorite Twilight Zone episodes. Let us commence . . .

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet

William Shatner (later to become Captain Kirk in Star Trek) stars in what might be the most famous and revered of all Twilight Zone episodes. He plays a man traveling aboard a commercial flight with his wife. He spots a monster on the wing, trying to damage it. He tries to alert the crew and other passengers to the potential danger lurking just outside his window seat. However, the clever being makes sure to fly out of view every time someone else peers through the glass, leaving Shatner to look foolish and delusional. In typical Twilight Zone fashion, the final shot is the killer. As Shatner is taken away on a stretcher, the camera pans away showing actual damage the monster has done to the wing. Awesome. On a related note, the shot where Shatner has closed the window, only to open it to see the monster’s face pressed against the window scared the bejesus out of me.

Note- Watching it now, the “monster” appears to have been created by a 5th grade art class. Still a classic episode.

Living Doll

This episode is always referred to as “Talking Tina” and it was the single scariest thing I’d ever seen in my life. Trust me, as a 6-year old this was just petrifying and life-altering to witness. I still hate dolls to this day because of this show. In this one Telly Savalas plays a man who isn’t a fan of his stepdaughter’s new “Talky Tina” doll, especially after the doll starts telling him she’s going to kill him. What follows is a twisted domestic drama powered by the actions of an evil toy. There have been dozens of TV shows and movies that have told stories about talking dolls since, but Rod Serling’s take is still the best by far. Believe me, I haven’t looked at a doll the same since.

The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street

Ah, another great one that asks the viewers to decide who the real monsters are, the alien invaders or their very own friends and neighbors? “Monsters” finds the residents of an unnamed town in a panic when they conclude an alien invasion is afoot, and it began because of a loud noise and a power outage. Rather than team up to combat the terror from beyond the stars, they succumb to paranoia and vigilante-like behavior, leading their invaders to conclude that the best way to destroy mankind is to let us do the deed ourselves. Rod Serling, who wrote the episode, summed it up best in the closing narration, making a social point as he often did:

“The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, and prejudices — to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill. And suspicion can destroy. And a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own – for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is, that these things cannot be confined . . . to the Twilight Zone.”

Wow.

The Invaders

In this one, a poor impoverished woman (Agnes Moorehead, who went on to play the mother on Bewitched) lives alone in a rustic cabin. She is dressed shabbily, and there are no modern conveniences in evidence. After hearing a strange noise above her kitchen roof, she is attacked by small intruders that come from a miniature flying saucer that has landed on her rooftop. Two tiny figures about 6-inches high, which may be robots or beings wearing pressure suits, emerge from the craft. As a kid this was creepy as hell. Anyway, the small figures attack the woman, using small, pistol-like weapons that leave radiation burns on her skin, and, after following her into her cabin, slashing her ankle and hand with her own kitchen knife. The suspense builds as the woman searches for the invaders. She eventually destroys one, wrapping it in a blanket and beating it until it is still, then throwing it into the burning fireplace. She follows the other to the saucer-ship on her roof, which she proceeds to attack with a hatchet. From within the craft, she hears a voice speaking in English. These are the first words we’ve heard the whole episode, and the intruder knows he’s about to die. He then proceeds to frantically warn other potential visitors that the planet is inhabited by giants and they are impossible to defeat. Then comes the kicker. The camera pans slowly away to reveal the markings on the side of the ship, which reads U.S. Air Force Space Probe No. 1. You see, the invaders were human astronauts from Earth, and the woman in the small farmhouse belongs to a race of giant humanoids native to another planet. Another shocking ending.

The Bewitchin’ Pool

In my mind, one of most unforgettable of all the Twilight Zone episodes. A young girl and her little brother live in a beautiful suburban home, complete with a large swimming pool. Their parents are cold, short tempered, and forever fighting in front of their children. One day, a boy pops up from the deep end of their pool and invites them to follow him. Wait. What? The children then follow by diving underwater and surface in a beautiful countryside. It is simple and plain, and unlike their spectacular home. There are no adults except for a kindly woman who bakes desserts and offers kind words. The children go back home through the swimming pool because they’re worried that their parents have missed them. They break through the water to find that their neglectful parents haven’t even noticed that they were gone. The children return again to the idyllic countryside by diving through the pool, and this time, they stay. Their parents search for them in the pool, but never find them. The children remain happily ever after, cared for and loved, in this paradise. It wasn’t until I watched this episode as an adult that I saw that it could be perceived as legitimizing childhood suicide in response to bad parenting, and a child’s simple wish to get the hell away. No way this would be broadcast today.

The Hitch-Hiker

Another terrifying example of the plot twists Twilight Zone was known for. We begin with a young woman traveling alone cross country trip. She blows a tire and when she takes her car in for repairs, we get a hint that something is amiss when the mechanic tells her she should have called a hearse, not a car repair service. She drives on, but keeps seeing a man hitchhiking no matter how far she drives. Shaken, she finally stops and calls her mother, only to be told that her mother had a nervous breakdown when her daughter was killed in a car accident 6-days ago. She is in disbelief, but returns to her car, where the hitchhiker awaits her. She ultimately realizes that the hitchhiker is death, patiently waiting for her. What I see now that I didn’t see then is that you can’t outrun fate. In the unforgettable final scene, Nan returns to the car and looks in the vanity mirror on the visor. Instead of her reflection, she sees the hitchhiker. He looks at her and asks, “I believe you’re going my way?” Jeebus.

After Hours

There is another episode I can directly blame for one of my phobias and that is my fear of mannequins. In a department store, there is a 9th floor for no one else but the store’s mannequins. Once a month, they take turns living as humans in the real world. When their time is up, they return to the 9th floor, except for the day that Mannequin Marcy decides she likes being human too much and is not going back. My older and wiser take on it now? Serling was telling us that, sometimes, a small taste of honey is worse than none at all.

Time Enough at Last

What a great, great episode that is often ranked as the best Twilight Zone ever. Burgess Meredith stars as Henry Bemis — a man who just wants to get away from the everyday world and bury his nose in a good book. Henry gets his wish one day when the rest of humanity is wiped out in a nuclear attack. He soon discovers an untouched library — a place where he can read in peace for the rest of his existence. Thrilled with his discovery, Bemis settles in. As he gets ready to crack open his first book, the worst happens – he breaks his glasses. Virtually blind, Bemis is now stuck in a world with all the time and books he could ever want and no way to enjoy them. Damn you Rod Serling!

To Serve Man

Another classic. In this episode, mankind has seemingly found a kindly alien savior in the form of the Kanamits — a race of towering space travelers who are all too willing to help Earth get rid of the problems of hunger and war. But their personal manifesto, a book entitled To Serve Man, isn’t the guide for peace that everyone thought it to be. As the woman who figured it all out yells at the end of the episode, “It’s a cookbook! IT’S A COOKBOOK!” Ah, to serve man. It all made chilling sense in the end.

It’s a Good Life

Bill Mumy was absolutely terrifying as the 6-year-old Anthony Freemont, a boy with incredible psychic powers who holds everyone around him under his power. Little Anthony could simply think you out of existence for displeasing him. He was some sort of godlike child with the ability to read minds, make people disappear, mutate other living beings, and control the weather. The adults obviously tiptoe around the temperamental kid, but it never really matters, because he’s six, and six-year-olds aren’t particularly rational in the first place, amirite? Here’s Serling closing quote:

No comment here, no comment at all. We only wanted to introduce you to one of our very special citizens, little Anthony Fremont, age 6, who lives in a village called Peaksville in a place that used to be Ohio. And if by some strange chance you should run across him, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, because if you do meet Anthony, you can be sure of one thing – You have entered The Twilight Zone.”

The Eye of the Beholder

I watched this as a kid and it terrified me for weeks. A young woman undergoes surgery to improve her appearance and look like everyone else. She spends most of the episode swathed in head bandages as shadowy doctors and nurses talk around her. She’s terrified they won’t be able to make her beautiful. When the wraps are removed, the doctors proclaim the procedure a complete failure — but the audience sees the lovely Donna Douglas and wonders what the holy hell they’re talking about. It all becomes clear when the doctors and nurses are revealed. In one of the most memorable Twilight Zone endings of all time, the docs and nurses all look like some sort of mutant pigs. “Eye of the Beholder” indeed.

Long Distance Call

This episode frightened me so much that I promised myself I would never see it again. I lied. After his grandmother dies, a little boy is mysteriously given a phone. On this phone, only calls from his deceased grandmother can come through. Grandma then tries to convince Little Billy to kill himself to join her. And so he tries, several times in several ways. I can say without a doubt that today, this storyline encouraging childhood suicide would never be allowed to be aired. Just normal prime time entertainment for the Twilight Zone, though.

So there ya go, my personal favorite Twilight Zone episodes. What are yours? Let’s hear it!

Many members of the cast of Seinfeld have done well for themselves. Here’s the estimated net worth of 7 of the co-stars:
Jerry Seinfeld – 870-million
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine) – 200-million
Jason Alexander (George) – 50-million
Michael Richards (Kramer) – 48-million
Jerry Stiller (George’s dad) – 12.5-million
John Hurley (J Peterman) – 8.5-million
Wayne Knight (Newman) – 8-million

 

ÒSeinfeld: Season 7Ó (Sony, 24 episodes, four discs, $49.95) has, among others, ÒThe Maestro,Ó ÒThe Sponge,Ó ÒThe Soup NaziÓ and ÒThe InvitationsÓ (that is, the unfortunate stamp-licking end of George’s fiancee Susan).(Handout/MCT)

To hell with the game, man.

Man, that’s a happy nerd.

Listen, I like Fallon and Kimmel and all, but they’re all huggy and kissy with  their guests. I miss Dave calling people out. Guess those days are gone. At least we still have reminders like this . . .

110613-N-TT977-230
Navy Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff shares a laugh with David Letterman during an interview on the Late Show in New York City on June 13, 2011. DoD photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Chad J. McNeeley/Released)

So I read somewhere the other day that Seinfeld’s last episode aired 19-years ago and I was sort of shocked. Anyway, it got me to thinking, which often leads to something like you’re about to read. What follows are 10 things that will turn 30-years old in 2017, and some are pretty surprising. Read on . . .

Full House

Yep, the TV show with the obnoxious, mouthy little girl began 30-years ago. I blame Michelle for all the little disrespectful punks that have come since. Damn you Michelle Tanner. Damn you to hell.

The Princess Bride

If you don’t recognize the line, “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die”, well then, you need to rent this movie poste haste because you’re living a life unfulfilled. Anyway, 30-years old.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Yessir, Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael kicked off with their cartoon back in ’87. Since then we’ve seen toys, TV shows. movies, and a ton of other stuff.

Disposable Contact Lenses

Yes kids, there was one a day when people had to carefully take out there contact lenses, put them in a little container, and repeat the exercise every night. Barbaric, I know.

Panera Bread

If you’ve never had their Pasta Primavera with Shrimp you’re a dirty rotten communist. Again, seems like yesterday.

Red Bull

Yep, some dude from Austria mixed some caffeine, sugar, taurine, niacin, jackal urine and some other stuff and came up with Red Bull. Fun Fact: According to the exhaustive research done by my crack staff, the energy drink biz exploded in 2005. I have no idea why. Anywho, I’m a Rock Star guy myself.

The Simpsons

Yep, it all started on the Tracey Ullman Show. Memba her? Bart and his family were featured in short cartoons during that show.

Dirty Dancing

Nobody puts Baby in a corner, man. The Swayze at the peak of his powers.

Congressional Ban On Inflight Smoking

Hard to believe it now but there once was a time when people smoked everywhere – in airplanes, on TV, in restaurants, bars, even hospitals. Crazy times fo sho.

“The Drive”

Sorry, Cleveland fans, but this Fall is the anniversary of John Elway’s drive to beat you in the playoffs. Good thing all those Super Bowl wins have made up for it since then though.

Bonus:

A Bunch of Famous People

Yep. Ronda Rousey, Kesha, Lil Bow Wow (was he the first of the “Lils”?), Kendrick Lamar, Blake Lively, Wiz Khalifa, and Zac Efron were all born in ’87. Man, that was a shitty year for celebrity birthdays, wasn’t it? Good Lord.

Where was I, you ask? Teaching Reading, and a few other things, to Greenfield McClain to bunch of unsuspecting Junior High kids.

Howzabout you?

You all know my love for the old TV series The Rifleman. Lucas McCain fights for all that is righteous, man. On a whim I decided to research how many bad guys Lucas killed in the 4 1/2 year duration of the show. The answer? 120. That’s 2.5 per episode. And of course, somebody documented them all in the video below. Yikes! Other Rifleman fun facts:

Chuck Conners, who played The Rifleman, played both professional baseball and basketball.

Johnny Crawford, who played the son of his widowed father Lucas in the show, began his career as a Mouseketeer.

Finally, I owned the Rifleman toy as a kid. Thanks Mom and Dad! 

Anyway, check out all of The Rifleman’s kills. Wild stuff.

Just imagine. You finally get word that your dream has come true. You’ve been chosen to appear on your favorite game show, Wheel of Fortune. The Wheel, man! And then, just when you’re on the brink of greatness, you think the answer is “Streetcar Naked Desire” rather than “Streetcar Named Desire”. Sad really.


Came across these gems on the worldwide interweb today. Great stuff. Be sure and watch all three.

Damn immigrants.

budweiser-super-bowl-commercial-immigrant-story-video

Here’s an example of what made her great.

960

Attaboy, Kentucky.

mapnetflix

Just an outrageous move by Julie Snook here. How dare she wear white like the other women! Everyone knows the news will get drowned in a sea of white if this act of egregiousness goes unchecked. And what a brazen move, claiming that her obviously white top was blue. Just a desperation move right there. Thankfully Amber Sherlock took charge and calm was restored in Australian News Land when a black jacket was brought forth. Whew. Crisis averted.

threeway

Man, I miss The Office.

kristen_wiig_steve_carrell_golden_globes_2017

Get that bear some paws with treads.

bear-2_20170104220541677_6967397_ver1-0_640_360

[NPR]: Cindy Stowell was a 41-year-old science content developer from Austin, Texas battling Stage-4 cancer when she fulfilled her dying wish to go on “Jeopardy!” Sadly, she died Monday, before she could see the episode, which will air next week.

Man, that’s a sad story, huh? Cindy Stowell fulfilled her dying wish to be on Jeopardy, only to pass away a week before the show aired. This is a story that deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, amirite? Of course, the New York Daily News went another direction, tweeting out this hilarious headline:

jeopardy-tweet-268x300

PS – Final Jeopardy indeed.

PPS – I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I hate myself right now.

saved-by-the-bell-producer-reveals-cocaine-weed-pills-and-sex-fueled-the-show-image-1

So Peter Engel was Executive Producer of the television classic Saved By the Bell, a show that anybody over the age of 35 recalls with fondness. It ran from 1989 to 1993 on Saturday mornings (I think), and it was always sort of a weird show that felt like a high school play or something. The acting was suspect and the plot lines were juvenile, but there was something oddly engaging about the show.

That said, the aforementioned Peter Engel has written a book which may explain some of the show’s, uh, weirdness. Here’s the money quote:

“Monday through Friday, I would wake up and smoke two joints, pop speed to get through work, snort a gram of cocaine, and take a handful of Quaaludes to fall asleep.”

Ah. Everything makes sense now.

This video shows a bunch of people reacting to last week’s Walking Dead. If nothing else, it shows what incredible feelings people have invested into this show. If you’re not a fan you simply can’t understand, but I basically felt the same as a lot of these people. The death of Glenn was absolutely gut-wrenching as you’ll see if you watch.

[WARNING: Extremely bad language]

glenn-walking-dead-season-6

Dyin’ over here.

harry

Fun Fact: I’ve eaten in Harry Caray’s restaurant a coupla times. The Truffled Arancini is amazing. 

twd

Whew. Well, that was difficult.

Anyone who’s a Walking Dead fan will tell you that last night’s Season 7 Premiere was absolutely gut-wrenching. I swear I felt as if I’d been punched right in the stomach. I was a little sleepy before the show started, but afterwards I was wired for hours. Just a brutal, emotional show that was difficult to get over.

You know a show has hit you hard when it’s the last thing you thought about before falling asleep and the first thing you thought about when you woke up.

Surprisingly (at least to me), it seems most of the reviews were pretty poor, with complaints about the negativity, the killings and the overall “bleakness” of the premiere. W-h-u-u-u-t? Uh, newsflash, folks. People are always dying in this show. It’s always had a lot of death followed by characters immersed in grief. If that’s not the definition of bleak I don’t know what is. And what the hell did you expect, for the characters to build a makeshift stage and start performing showtunes?

Good Lord.

But back to a couple observations about the show. Honestly, I only have a couple questions, and those are these:

  • Honestly, who sits there and lets somebody club them over the head with a barbwire-wrapped baseball bat? I know Negan had threatened them and told them not to move, but wouldn’t you go down swinging?
  • Was it me or did Rick have more than a couple chances to take Negan out in the RV? I guess we’re supposed to believe he was so distraught from the killings he was crippled mentally? Seems a little bit of a stretch, especially knowing Rick as we do. I know he witnessed a lot that night, but hasn’t he been through worse? I mean, he watched his son kill his best friend, watched his son get shot (twice), and experienced his son kill his wife Beth.

Finally, just a couple quick observations. It’s always pissed me off when I excitedly tell people about The Walking Dead and they come back with this:

“Ah, I’m not a fan of zombie shows. Sorry.”

Really? If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times, the brilliance of The Walking Dead is not about zombies and it’s not about the violence, although both of those are an integral part of the show. From the beginning it’s always been about the characters. Real TWD fans know and understand this.

Perhaps the most amazing thing longtime fans have come to realize about The Walking Dead is that the true monsters are not the dead walking the earth, but instead, man. Chilling really, but in an apocalyptic world it makes perfect sense, right?

Bottom line? I loved the Season 7 Premiere. If you read the graphic comic this didn’t come as a shock. Hell, the death of Glenn last night was a mirror image of the comic. As a friend of mine messaged me a bit ghoulishly, the TV producers “hit it right on the head.”

glenn

Yep. Pretty much.

So, if you’ve a TV junkie but have never watched this show, I strongly encourage a Netflix binge party as soon as possible.

You’ll catch up in no time.

 

Yeah, this pretty much was a combination of my emotions as well. On a related note, if somebody I was with yapped like that dude on the right I’d throat punch him.

mood

I was doing some research for another blog I was going to write when I came across several videos regarding the beginning of the internet, and I have to say they’re fascinating as hell. It seems like only yesterday when we actually had to write letters to communicate and go to the library to do research, ya know? And in the beginning, the internet was also known as “The Worldwide Web” or “The Information Superhighway.” Naively, there was no mention of the porn boom that was to come.

Anyway, what follows are the videos I found. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. Let’s start in 1969, when people thought we’d all be living like The Jetsons by now. Honestly, this video wasn’t far off.

Next up we have this CompuServe commercial from 1989 that tells us we can “shop in an electronic mall!”. Priceless, man.

Next we have a video that actually features that screeching, whiney noise we all use to hear as our computer connected to “INTERNET.”  Ah, the cluelessness of the people in this video.

In this gem we have some doofus explaining that we can actually “get an electronic address for our computer.” They even talk about an “electronic mailman.” Good stuff.

And here’s a mention of that “Information Superhighway.”

Here’s a great commercial for Hotmail from 1999. You can access your mail from anywhere! You youngsters may not believe this, but we used to have email addresses that were only accessible from our home computers. Barbaric, I know.

And finally, I give you this absolute classic from The Today Show in 1994. It features Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric trying, in vain, to understand what this newfangled internet was all about.

Man, we’ve come so far so fast. Boggles the mind really. If you liked that last one, get a load of my last video submission.


internet_beginning

rolling-stone-100-best-tv-shows-of-all-time-c76cdd0b-2e04-4769-84c1-0faab178ddbf

So the Rolling Stone came out with their Top 100 TV Shows of all-time list, and as usual it’s clear a bunch of morons voted. First off, The Office is #48? B-W-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A! That, my friends is an absolute sin. Other sins include the following:

Inexplicably, The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson is ranked #30, well below #13 Late Night With Letterman. Hey, as much as I loved the original Letterman, Johnny was the King of Late Night. Betcha Dave would even agree with me.

And explain this one to me. There was no Andy Griffith Show listed. W-h-a-a-a-t? That’s just awful, man.

Other notable shows missing from the list were Benny Hill, The Carol Burnett Show, St. Elsewhere and Laugh-In.

And wait. What about Ozzie & Harriet? My Three Sons? WKRP in Cincinnati? The Outer Limits? Night Gallery?

The mind reels.

Trust me, when you see the list you’ll be stunned at the shows they picked ahead of these classics. Let us begin . . .

100. Eastbound and Down

  • Good show. Big fan of Kenny Powers.

99. Oz

  • I have never seen Oz, unless you’re counting the Michael Jackson version of the 1939 movie.

98. The Golden Girls

  • Wasn’t a fan. Plus Maude and her manly voice creeped me out.

97. Portlandia

  • Never saw an episode. Wouldn’t know where to find it either.

gunsmoke_thumb96. Gunsmoke

  • Great show. I remember everybody wanted Marshall Dillon and Miss Kitty to get together. Alas, they did not. Gunsmoke was not my favorite Western, though. That honor would go to The Big Valley. Audra was smokin’.

95. Key & Peele

  • LOVE Key & Peele. Had no idea they had a show though. Bummer.

94. Jeopardy

  • Wait. Game shows are allowed? That’s weird. On a related note, Alex Trebek is a pompous ass.

93. Mystery Science Theater 3000

  • I absolutely loved this show. The humor was right up my alley. Should be way higher.

92. American Idol

  • What? Another game show? Bogus, man.

91. Broad City

  • Not only have I not seen Broad City, I’ve never heard of it until this minute.

90. The Dick Van Dyke Show

  • Really good show, but I can name 10 other sitcoms from the same era that are, in my opinion, better.

89. Homeland

  • I have never seen Homeland. Sorry kids.

88. Party Down

  • Party Down I’ve never heard of. Party Down South I have heard of. Man I feel out of touch.

87. Doctor Who

  • I watched Dr. Who back in the 1970s when it starred Tom Baker, and even he wasn’t the first to portray the doc. I approve, and I wish it were higher.

86. Good Times

  • Oh yeah! Good Times! It was dy-no-mite! Good Times was a spin-off of Maude, which is itself a spin-off of All in the Family. TV’s Golden Age, man. Great show.

85. The Real World

  • This is a reality show! No plots and no actors! I don’t get it. However, I did watch it.

84. Real Time With Bill Maher

  • I happen to like this show. What can I say, people arguing politics and whatnot entertain me endlessly.

83. House of Cards

  • Haven’t seen it, but my friends tell me I’d love it. I feel a binge viewing coming on soon.

82. The Jeffersons

  • Just a terrific show which was also a spin-off of All in the Family. George and Weezy were the best, man. Hilarity.

81. Dallas

  • Yeah, I watched it. I also watched Knots Landing and Dynasty, and I watched all because the woman I was dating watched them. Dynasty introduced me to the fetching Heather Locklear as well. Yowza.

80. The Fugitive

  • The Fugitive was an awesome show. After watching Richard Kimble fugitive_s3v1_dvd_front1chase the real murderer of his wife for 4-years (he was accused of it and was on the run), the finale was must-see TV. I distinctly remember watching it with my father.

79. In Living Color

  • Awesome show from the early 90s. From the Wayans boys to Jim Carrey, several actors went on from this show to make it big. Cutting edge for its time.

78. Thirtysomething

  • God, did I hate this series. It ran from 1987 to 1991, and it was 4-years of listening to whiny, self-absorbed weaklings bitch about their lives. Blech.

77. The Walking Dead

  • Hands down one of my favorite TV series of all-time. And if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times – it’s not about zombies, it’s about the characters. Ranked far too low.

76. Late Night With Conan O’Brien

  • I like Conan. I think his show has some of the most intelligent humor of all the late night talk shows. I especially love his short films.

75. American Crime Story: The People vs. OJ Simpson

  • Pretty good series, but no way does it belong in the Top 100. Plus, John Travolta as Robert Shapiro was just creepy.

74. The Ren & Stimpy Show

  • Hey-O! Ren and Stimpy were out there, man. I can’t believe they got away with half the stuff they did. Legendary show.

73. Transparent

  • Never heard of it. Wait. Is this that show with Jeffrey Tambor about the transgender dude? Ah. Timely. Still, it’s been on TV for about a minute, does it deserve #73? It does not.

72. Girls

  • I swear to God I’m losing my mind over here. There’s a show called “Girls”? Even if I don’t watch I usually have heard of a show due to my relentless research for this site. Alas, nothing.

71. Mr. Show

  • I never watched Mr. Show, but it starred Bob Odenkirk so it had to have been stellar. That is all.

70. Roseanne

  • You know, I was never a fan really. I mean, it was OK I guess, but I was never really a fan of her whiny, rolling-eyes type of humor. Meh.

69. The Ed Sullivan Showed

  • How in the HELL dould Ed Sullivan be this low. Outrageous. This show brought Elvis and The Beatles to the American masses, man! These people are idiots.

68. The State

  • Apparently this was on MTV in the mid-90s for a couple years. It’s one position ahead of Ed Sullivan. I have nothing else to say.

67. The Odd Couple

  • Solid choice. It was perfectly cast with Tony Randall as the snooty neat-freak Felix Unger and Jack Klugman as the sloppy curmudgeon Oscar Madison.

66. Downton Abby

  • Not only have I never watched Downton Abby, I always thought it was Downtown Abby until about 3-seconds ago. Admit it. You did too.

65. Happy Days

  • Yes! One of the joys of my life from years 17 to 25 was watching Happy Days on Tuesday nights. Sadly, it got worse as it progressed. In fact, the phrase “jumped the shark” originated from the episode in which Fonzie jumped a shark. And what the hell happened to Chuck?

64. Chappelle’s Show

  • Funny show. Not Top 100.

63. The Wonder Years

  • Yeah, The Wonder Years was a good show. Very nostalgic. Fun Fact: The girl who played Winnie Cooper, Danica McKellar, is now a mathematician and education advocate. Cool.

62. Sex and the City

  • Never watched an episode.

61. Your Show of Shows

  • It was before my time, but the old clips of Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca are classic.

60. Beavis and Buttheadbeavis_butthead

  • The boys that influenced a nation of teenagers. Poorly I might add. Funny stuff though.

59. Hill Street Blues

  • Never a fan and I’m not sure why. Didn’t some actor bare his ass on national TV on this show or something? Missed out on this one I guess.

58. Roots

  • I remember that the hoopla surrounding this mini-series was intense, man. Pretty ground-breaking for the 70s.

57. Fawlty Towers

  • Wasn’t this a PBS show or something? Really, other than Monty Python I’ve never been into the whole British comedy thing. Then again, I usually got a chuckle or two out of Benny Hill. Mr. Bean not so much.

56. 24

  • There was one reason and one reason only I couldn’t watch this show, and that was because of Kiefer Sutherland’s insufferable whispering. Ever notice that? SPEAK UP, man!

55. Six Feet Under

  • Barely remember it. Couldn’t have been that good.

54. The Muppet Show

  • Probably have seen 3 in my life, and those were the shows hosted by Alice Cooper, Vincent Price and Elton John. Good kid’s show I guess.

53. The Bob Newhart Show

  • Now we’re talkin’. I love this show and anything Bob Newhart has ever done. Bravo, greatest TV show choosers!

52. The Colbert Report

  • I cannot lie. I know it was the cool thing to do, but alas, I wasn’t a huge fan. So shoot me.

51. Fargo

  • I LOVED the movie, but for the life of me I couldn’t get into the TV series. Perhaps nobody could replace movie characters William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi and the rest, I d not know.

50. E.R.

  • Was this the one with Clooney? These hospital shows all run together, man. In my humble non-expert opinion, no medical series was ever better than St. Elsewhere. Period.

49. Taxitaxi

  • Oh, how I loved this show. Louie (Danny Devito), Elaine (Marilu Henner), Reverend Jim (Christopher Lloyd), Latka (Andy Kaufman), Bobby (Jeff Conaway), Alex (Judd Hirsch), Tony (Tony Danza), Simka (Carol Kane) they were all good and went on to stellar post-TV careers. The episode where Reverend Jim went to take his driver’s test is an all-time classic.

48. The Office

  • My favorite TV sitcom of all-time, period. That it’s ranked at #48 makes me want to hurt people, not even kidding. I’ve seen every episode multiple times, swear to God. Loved all the characters but none were better than Michael, played by Steve Carell. He carried the show. The humor was sometimes unsettling, uncomfortable, awkward and made you a little queasy. In other words, just the way I like it.

47. The Rockford Files

  • Great detective series about a PI who lived with his dad in a trailer on the beach and who happened to be excellent at his job.

46. The Mary Tyler Moore Show

  • One of the greatest casts in the history of television. Mary, Ed Asner, Ted Knight, Valerie Harper, Betty White, Cloris Leachman, Gavin MacLeod, Georgia Engel . . . come on, man. None better. And the Chuckle’s the Clown Funeral episode was TV Gold.

45. Battlestar Galactica

  • Not gonna lie, I’ve never been a big Star Trek kinda guy. All those outer space shows sort of run together for me. Sorry, space nerds.

44. Columbo

  • Columbo was great. You could always count on him stumbling around and looking like an idiot, then miraculously solving the case at the very end. Good stuff.

43. The Americans

  • I’ve never seen this show. I guess it’s about Cold War Era spies from Russia or something, and that sounds sort of cool I guess.

42. NYPD Blue

  • I always get this show confused with Hill Street Blues, perhaps because of the whole “Blue” thing. I’m easily confused, man.

41. The Honeymooners

  • Ah, The Honeymooners. Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton, man. It was on before I was born but I’ve seen a ton of reruns. Hilarious stuff.

40. The Shield

  • I’m sort of shocked that this is rated so highly. Why? Seemed like another cop show to me.

39. Lostlost

  • Big “Lost” guy here. Watched it from beginning to end, even though I had no idea what the hell was happening the last couple seasons, Show totally lost me, not gonna lie. And the finale was just awful. Were they all dead? I never did figure it out.

38. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  • Please. #38? These people are out of their minds.

37. Orange is the New Black

  • I’ve heard this is good but I haven’t seen an episode. Sorry.

36. Law & Order

  • Quite possibly the best cop show ever, period. That weird music alone should put it in the Top 50.

35. My So-Called Life

  • Good Lord. A show about teen angst? But see, the people at Rolling Stone probably watched this as teenagers so it makes sense. Then again, I have no idea who voted so there’s that.

34. 30 Rock

  • Loved 30 Rock. Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan? Can’t go wrong with that cast.

33. South Park

  • Well, der. Of course South Park has to be on the list. It’s the second greatest cartoon in the history of television. They also killed Kenny by the way.

32. I Love Lucy

I LOVE LUCY Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. September 21, 1954. Copyright CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. Credit: CBS Photo Archive.

  • The fact that “I Love Lucy” is rated this low is an outrage, a desecration, an abomination and an indignity to humanity. Nobody could have argued if this show had been in the #1 spot, amirite?

31. Sesame Street

  • Never a huge fan. Big Bird was rather terrifying to me.

30. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

  • Carson at #30 makes this whole list illegitimate, and no talk show should be ahead of him. Period, end of story.

29. Monty Python’s Flying Circus

  • I’ll tell ya, when we first got PBS on Channel 13 in addition to 4, 6 and 10 I felt like I’d died and gone to 7th Heaven (not on the list either, for good reason). For a young man, Monty Python was wild, man. Just crazy, off-color humor like you read about. As my dad once put it so succinctly, “What in the HELL are you watching?”

28. The X-Files

  • You how I’m into weird stuff, right? Then it might shock you to discover that I never watched an episode of The X-Files. Odd I know.

27. Arrested Development

  • Another show I simply never got into. Everyone says it was great, blah-blah-blah. I know it won Emmys and stuff, but I also know it got low ratings. What does that tell ya?

26. Friendsaniston

  • Yeah, I watched Friends. Because of Jennifer Aniston. Honestly, it seems like Friends doesn’t hold up with time, ya know? I watch it now and it seems sort of lame. Maybe it was a 90’s thing.

25. Veep

  • Have never seen it, don’t care about it, have no information on it. That is all.

24. Friday Night Lights

  • I know, I know, as a coach I should have liked this series. However, after watching a few episodes I gave up on it. Sorry everybody.

23. Deadwood

  • Western, right? Never saw an episode.

22. Louie

  • Another critically acclaimed show that I’m ambivalent about. Sorry not sorry.

21. The Office (UK)

  • As I mentioned, I loved the US version so I’m pretty sure I’d like this one, partially because I think Ricky Gervais is a riot.

20. Cheers

  • Ah, no we’re into the Top 20. Hallowed ground, man. As for Cheers, I watched it and liked it a lot. Woody and Coach before him, Sam, Norm, Cliff, Diane and the rest were awesome. There’s something about a neighborhood bar that’s intoxicating, you know? A place where everybody knows your name.
larrydavid

Larry David, man. Hilarious.

19. Curb Your Enthusiasm

  • One of my all-time favorite series, hands-down. Like The Office, it was often uncomfortable and awkward to watch. In other words, right in my wheelhouse. Larry David is great in this show, and I absolutely love it.

18. Star Trek

  • I watched Star Trek but was never obsessed with it like a lot of people. Plus, it seems like that stuff all started after the series was over. Loved the episode called “The Trouble With Tribbles” though.

17. Twin Peaks

  • I watched Twin Peaks. I thought it was a was a quirky little show with an odd way of filming scenes and whatnot. Plus it had Sherilyn Fenn, so there’s that. Yowza. Still, #17? For realz?

16. M*A*S*H

  • One of my Top 5 shows of all-time, hands down. Loved the dark, sometimes political humor. And the episode in which Colonel Henry Blake died was shocking. Never saw it coming.

15. The West Wing

  • I’m a pretty liberal guy but I could never get into this show. Not sure why, the characters just seemed way too smug for me.

14. The Larry Sanders Show

  • I absolutely loved this show. Still watch it in reruns when I can. The whole premise was unique for its time – a behind the scenes look at a late night talk show. Fascinating stuff and funny as hell.

13. Late Night With David Lettermanlate-night-with-david-letterman-1982-bill-murray

  • Not the “Late Show” that was on CBS from 1993 to 2015, but “Late Night” that ran from 1982 to 1993. In this one Letterman was more caustic, never smiled a lot, and was sarcastic as hell. It ran from 12:30 am to 1:30 am so he could be a lot more off-color. LOVED this show and taped it every night. Fun fact: I have every episode on VHS tape.

12. Game of Thrones

  • I haven’t watched a single episode of Game of Thrones, therefore I am appalled that it’s ranked this high.

11. Freaks and Geeks

  • Seriously, they’re just messing with us now, right? Freaks and Geeks ranked ahead of M*A*S*H and The Office? I’m dying a little inside.

10. The Daily Show

  • Let me tell you a secret about myself – I liked Craig Kilborne as a host of The Daily Show better than John Stewart. There, I said it.

9. All in the Family

  • Fantastic, controversial show that could never run in today’s politically correct world. It somehow made racism, anti-semitism and close-minded right-wingers funny. #9 may actually be a little low for this show.

8. Saturday Night Live

  • I’ve been off and on with SNL for years. I loved the early years, liked Eddie Murphy, and liked the late 90’s to early 00’s with Will Ferrell. Other years I’ve barely watched. Honestly, sometimes it can be excruciating to watch.

7. The Twilight Zone

  • Never missed an episode, and the “Living Doll” episode with Talking giphyTina still chills me to the core. And “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet“? Terrifying.

6. The Simpsons

  • Yep, I agree wholeheartedly. Just groundbreaking stuff. It’s amazing how much more you can get away with when the show features cartoon characters, ya know? My favorite scene is when Homer is being chased by a bear and he screams, “You can’t eat me! I have a wife and three kids! EAT THEM!”

5. Seinfeld

  • I was a fan of the show, but not a big a fan as some. I mean, I can’t repeat lines from the show and stuff, but the show was show iconic that we all repeat catchphrases like “close talker” and “yada yada.” And who can forget The Soup Nazi? Well, hell, maybe I’m a bigger fan than I thought. Whatever. It deserves the 5-spot.

4. Mad Menmad-men

  • My second favorite series of all-time. The clothes, the set designs, the way the characters talked, the plotlines, I loved every single thing about this show. And the ending was spectacular. There was only one show that could beat Mad Men, and that was . . .

3. Breaking Badbreaking-bad

  • I don’t know what first got me interested in Breaking Bad. Maybe it was the fact that the lead character was a teacher, I’m not sure. However, once I started watching I couldn’t stop. It was intoxicating, man. After the best-ever series finale I actually watched every single episode again. Incredible series.

2. The Wire

  • I’m sad to report that although many of my friends say I’ll love it, I’ve never watched The Wire. However, I shall do so post haste.

1. The Sopranos

  • I watched The Sopranos and I liked The Sopranos. I even enjoyed the finale, which seemed to upset so many people. However, it would not be #1 in my rankings. That honor would go to Breaking Bad. Sorry Tony.

I sort of feel like there should be different categories for drama, comedy, cartoons, talk shows and others though, you know? It seems odd comparing Letterman to The Simpsons or The Wire to Seinfeld. Totally different.

So, all-in-all the Rolling Stone list had some major omissions (no Andy Griffith or The Walking Dead?), some odd choices (Freaks and freaking Geeks?), some misplaced shows (Letterman ahead of Carson?) and quite a few shows that I’d simply never seen before.

I’ll give it a C+.