Archive for the ‘News’ Category

NYP- A superhuman group of adolescents broke the Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday, with eight contestants crowned co-champions after the competition said it was running out of challenging words.

It was a stunning result, coming just after midnight Thursday, for the 92nd annual event, which has had six two-way ties but had never before experienced such a logjam at the top. After the 17th round, Jacques Bailly, the event’s pronouncer, announced that any of the eight remaining contestants who made it through three more words would share in the prize.

“We do have plenty of words remaining in our list, but we’ll soon run out of words that will challenge you,” Mr. Bailly told the contestants at Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center in National Harbor, Md.

He added: “We’re throwing the dictionary at you. And so far, you are showing this dictionary who is boss.”

Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? An 8-way tie? And what’s this “running out of words” bullshit? Newsflash: There are always more words. Hey Scripps National Spelling Bee, you want to crown a true champion? Play this thing out until you have a winner. I don’t care if it lasts 3-days and kids are passing out left and right up there. Hell, give them a 10-minute break every 8-hours to eat a Caramel Nut Blast or something, but we have to have one winner, not eight. How can you call yourself a true champion if you’re tied with seven other nerds contestants? That’s lame, man.

PS- Someday soon we’ll stop March Madness or the NFL Playoffs at 8-teams and give everybody a damn trophy. Somebody make it stop.

PPS- The words are getting too easy anyway. Here’s what 14-year old Erin Howard, 14, of Huntsville, Alabama had to spell for her final word: erysipelas. Please.

PPPS- No Scripps National Spelling Bee blog can be complete without this gem. Hey Homeschool, never celebrate too early brother.

Early leader for 2019 Father of the Year.

PORTLAND, Ore. (KOIN) — A Forest Grove man pleaded guilty after admitting he stole his daughter’s Girl Scout Cookie proceeds to pay for an erotic massage. 

Brian David Couture was ordered to do 80-hours of community service and pay restitution for filing a false report. Couture called police on March 6, 2019, saying a stranger had come into his home through the sliding glass door and fought him.

The Washington County District Attorney’s Office said Couture’s laptop was damaged and $700.00 was missing from a jar of his daughter’s Girl Scout Cookie sales.

Nice try by Brian David Couture, huh? Dude gave it a hell of a shot. I mean, it took some major cojones to burgle $700.00 from his daughter’s Girl Scout Cookie money jar and then blame an intruder. I really don’t think the whole “I fought the intruder” shtick was necessary, but I guess he was trying to play the hero for little Emily. Hell, he even sacrificed his laptop to make the break-in more believable. Brian David Couture, man. 2019 Father of the Year.

PS- I brought my A game with that headline, amirite?

PPS- I’ve never had an erotic massage (well, professionally anyway) but 700 clams seems pretty steep no matter what sort of service you’re getting.

PPPS- It’s 80-20 Robert Kraft has contacted this guy for more information.

Yep, that’s three alright.

New York Post- A bizarre snake with a third eye smack dab in the middle of its head was found this week by park rangers on a highway in Darwin.

Members of the Northern Territory Parks and Wildlife found the juvenile 15-inch-long belly-crawler on the Arnhem Highway near the town of Humpty Doo, the wildlife agency wrote in a Facebook post.

First off, of course the three-eyed snake was found in Australia, and of course it was found in Darwin. You can’t make this stuff up, kids. Secondly, a town named Humpty Doo is so Australia it hurts. Finally, and I probably should have mentioned this first, we’re all doomed. If a three-eyed snake isn’t a symbol of the end of times I don’t know what is. Have a good weekend everybody!

Woodstock 50 has been cancelled. Earlier today officials with Dentsu Aegis Network, which is funding the festival, released the following statement to Billboard:

“Despite our tremendous investment of time, effort and commitment, we don’t believe the production of the festival can be executed as an event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name while also ensuring the health and safety of the artists, partners and attendees.”

The statement goes on, “As a result and after careful consideration, Dentsu Aegis Network’s Amplifi Live, a partner of Woodstock 50, has decided to cancel the festival. As difficult as it is, we believe this is the most prudent decision for all parties involved.”

Big shocker here, huh? This is so 2019 it hurts. “A event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name?” BWAHAHAHAHA! They realize the original Woodstock was held in a torrential downpour, without adequate lodging or toilet facilities, little medical staff, and everyone in attendance was risking death by electrocution, correct? Still, the show went on. Hell, people gave birth in the mud, muck and human waste as Hendrix, Joplin, The Band, The Who, CCR and others rocked on.

Good God, man. 2019, 1969 if laughing in your face right now.

Note 1: Promoter Michael Lang, does not agree Woodstock 50 is sunk. He says Dentsu’s announcement was a “complete surprise,” but adds “we’re not giving up on the festival yet.”

Note 2: Does Fyre Fest really have people that skittish? Sad really.

Note 3: Have you ever really taken a hard look at the original Woodstock 3-day lineup? Sweet Mother of Rock. And these bands are just the highlights:

Friday:

  • Richie Havens
  • Ravi Shankar
  • Arlo Guthrie
  • Joan Baez

Saturday

  • Country Joe & the Fish
  • Santana
  • John B. Sebastian
  • Canned Heat
  • Mountain
  • Grateful Dead
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival
  • Janis Joplin
  • Sly & the Family Stone
  • The Who
  • Jefferson Airplane

Sunday

  • Joe Cocker
  • Ten Years After
  • The Band
  • Johnny Winter
  • Blood, Sweat & Tears
  • Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
  • Paul Butterfield Blues Band
  • Jimi Hendrix

 

The eyes. You can always see it in the eyes.

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves, ya know? Anyway . . .

Jacqueline Ades, a woman accused of sending a man she went out on a date with once and then sending him more than 159,000 text messages and breaking into his home doesn’t understand why she’s in jail. She also wants to go to trial b,ecause she believes that a jury will not only find her not guilty, they will insist that she marry the man she stalked.

In a recent phone interview with The Arizona Republic, Ades expressed disbelief that she’s been incarcerated since May 2018 after authorities charged her with sending thousands of text messages, many of them very disturbing, over the course of 10-months, ending with her arrest in the man’s home as she was taking a bath.

Ades, who was deemed mentally incompetent at a Rule 11 hearing in March, amazingly, could have actually been released from jail several months ago, according to her attorney Matthew Leathers, if she had just accepted a plea deal which included time served, 10-years probation, and being barred from contacting the victim. However, Ades told The Republic she refused to take the deal because she didn’t believe it was real. She thought it might be the victim’s way of testing her resolve, she said.

Ades said she wants to go to trial, where she’s positive the jury will not only find her not guilty, but will order her and the man she’s accused of stalking to marry her.

Listen, I’ve seen a stalker or two in my day but this lady takes the cake. 159,000 text messages? I did the math and you’d have send 500 texts a day for 318 days to get to 159,000. That’s a whole other level of cray right there, man. And what’s the deal with people breaking into a house and taking a bath? I’ve read about this phenomenon several times. Seems odd. Then again, anyone who would text somebody 159,000 times after one date goes by their own set of rules I guess. And how about the poor schmuck who went out with her? Dude meets a woman on a dating site, takes her out for a nice dinner and the next thing you know he has a full blown screwball on his hands. Anywho, Jacqueline Ades? Batshit crazy.

PS- I listed some examples of the times I’ve been stalked, harassed, or otherwise threatened with bodily harm in this post. Such is the life of a world famous blogger.

My 25 Most Controversial Blogs

Good stuff.

A new species of crab that’s the size of a quarter with big, bug eyes has been discovered and it is freaky as all holy hell. Scientists are calling the crab “the strangest crab that’s ever lived” and that would be 100% accurate. This dude had a mismatch of body parts, like a Frakencrab or something. Scientists say it was no bigger than a quarter with bent claws, big eyes, an exposed tail and leg-like mouth parts. Wait. What? Anywho, Callichimaera Perplexa.

Paris, TX- A runaway cow led Texas police on a miles-long chase through city streets and was caught on video hurdling over a pedestrian.

The Paris Police Department said the young cow made a run for it while being loaded into a sale barn and police were called to help chase the runaway animal.

A police dashboard camera recorded the cow running at a high speed through the streets, and running directly into a pedestrian. The man was knocked to the ground, and the cow jumped over him. The man wasn’t seriously injured, police said.

Police said the cow managed to give officers the slip and was on the loose for more than 24-hours before it was hit by a car and killed.

Well, that article certainly took a dark turn at the end, didn’t it? It went from being a heartwarming story of a fearless young cow escaping slaughter to lead a life on the run, roaming the fields and plowing over unsuspecting pedestrians to a story about a cow’s grisly death at the hands of a family in a 2003 Subaru Outback. That’s way too sad, man. Anyway, I know that 24-hours was worth it. Sleep well, young cow. Sleep well.

PS- Watch the video. Dude gets absolutely trucked.

A Minnesota sheriff’s office encountered a couple of true road hogs earlier this week.

A driver who was pulled over for having trouble staying in his lane turned out to be operating the vehicle with a 250-pound pig on his lap, Sgt. Jason Foster told Minneapolis news station KMSP-TV.

In the post, the sheriff’s office noted that its officers have encountered plenty of drivers distracted by things like cellphones, food or changing the radio station, but catching someone driving with a lap pig “was a first.” 

The man’s erratic driving was apparently caused by the pig leaning against the steering wheel.

Foster told the TV station that the man had a pig on his lap because he was moving to another part of the state and didn’t want the pig to get cold on the journey. The sergeant let the driver off with a warning.

Listen, I have no beef with this driver. Just take a look at that guy hamming it up in the photo. Can’t blame him for hogging the front seat. He’s adorable. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep him warm. And kudos to the cops for letting the driver off with a warning. That was quite a twist in the tale, man. But really, who amongst us hasn’t driven with a pig on our lap?
PS- Try as I might I couldn’t come up with a “pig in a blanket” line even though this story involved keeping a pig warm. I’m off my game, man.

French luxury sports car brand started showing off the new Bugatti La Voiture Noire, which has an eye-popping price tag of nearly $19-million. Bugatti rolled out the one-off supercar to celebrate the brand’s 110th anniversary and to pay homage to the Bugatti Type 57SC Atlantic, an extremely rare all-black luxury coupe it made in the 1930s. The car is notable for an all-black, one piece exterior “without any irritating lines” in its design. In fact, the company says the “bumpers are smoothly integrated into the body and the windscreen seems to flow seamlessly into the windows at the sides, like the visor on a helmet.”

Cool car and all, but I’d take that 1930s model over it in a heartbeat, wouldn’t you? And is it me or does every new car model looks like a Toyota Camry? Let’s see some creativity, car people. You’re better’n’at.

PS- A $19-million car, bought on a 5-year plan, would be around $320,000 a month. Seems reasonable.

PPS- This is the only car of its kind. Rich people annoy me, man.

 

Looks normal enough.

YouTuber Kyle Long was arrested on Sunday in Mountain View, California, for allegedly threatening violence if his meeting with the platform didn’t go as planned.

Long, 33, had driven over 3,000 miles from his home in Waterville, Maine, to the headquarters of Google, which owns YouTube, in California. According to his wife, Samantha Long, her husband became angry when he discovered that a YouTube video he’d uploaded on how to get rich quickly had been taken down, along with his account. However, Samantha didn’t tell him that she was the one who took down the video, not YouTube.

“I just didn’t tell him it was me taking it down because I didn’t want him losing his shit in front of my kids,” she said to BuzzFeed News. She described the video as “bizarre” and said she was worried about his mental health.

Gee, Samantha Long, you’re concerned about your husband’s mental health because he filmed a “bizarre” video for YouTube? What about the fact that he drove 3000-miles to confront Google? Was that a red flag for ya? And nice job sounding level-headed in a national publication with the phrase “losing his shit.” Something tells me Kyle Long isn’t the only wackjob in that household. Good Lord.

Note: I only saw my Dad get angry at a business one time in my life. He was buying something at Sears and the cashier loudly and dismissively told him his card had been declined. This was a mistake, not to mention rude, and Dad calmly told her to cancel the card. He then tossed another Sears card on the counter and told her to cancel it as well. Dad was the Purchasing Manager at Mead Corporation and it was the company card. The idiot lady complied, and by the time we got home the President of the company was calling to apologize. True story.

TextingSept2015

StreetStats- Pedestrian deaths were up 35% last year, compared to a decade ago. This is due to the rise of heavy SUVs, population growth in regions that do not prioritize walking and distracted driving, a new report shows. The Governors Highway Safety Association estimated that roughly 6,227 pedestrians were killed last year, the highest pedestrian fatality figure since 1990 and 35% more than were killed 10 years ago.

Gee, ya think? This has to be the most unsurprising statistic of all-time, man. People don’t pay attention anymore. Hell, I don’t even to stop to make a turn without keeping my eye on the rearview mirror due to all the damn people texting and driving. During my travels over the past couple years I’ve witnessed people not only texting and driving but watching movies on their iPads, doing their make-up, reading a book, and sleeping. I’m dead serious. I once passed a guy, glanced over and saw his eye closed, blew my horn, and he proceeded to nonchalantly give me a thumbs-up and proceed onward like it was perfectly normal. Hell, people aren’t looking for anything in front of them, human beings or otherwise. Keep your head on a swivel, folks. People are nuts.

Note: On the other hand, my 5′-10″ father could be driving and somehow reach into the backseat of our 1966 Pontiac Catalina Station Wagon, smack me in the head for being an idiot, and still stay between the lines. That’s a special gift right there.

 

Exercising in the wilderness always comes with its share of risks, but one Colorado man got far more than he bargained for when a mountain lion attacked him during a trail run earlier this week. The unidentified man suffered serious injuries in the attack, but managed to escape with his life thanks to his decision to fight back.

As the Coloradoan reports, the man was running in Horsetooth Mountain Park when he was attacked from behind by what park staff identified as a mountain lion. The big cat bit the man’s face and arm but he was able to shake himself loose, at which point he strangled the lion.

The animal suffocated and died, and the man sought immediate medical attention for his injuries. Wildlife officials note that the man’s response was appropriate and a good example of how you might be able to save yourself from an animal attack under the right circumstances. “The runner did everything he could to save his life,” Mark Leslie of Colorado Parks and Wildlife said in a statement. “In the event of a lion attack, you need to do anything in your power to fight back.”

Feeling like a badass because you flipped off that 85-year old dude who cut you off in traffic today? Maybe bullied the teenage grocery bagger at Piggly Wiggly because he put your eggs in with the d-CON? Listen, I hate to tell you this bro but until you murder a mountain lion with your bare hands you’re an amateur. And hey, I’m sure glad Mark Leslie of Colorado Parks and Recreations gave us valuable information on how to defend ourselves against mountain lions – fight the hell back. You know, as opposed to lying back and letting a razor-toothed killing machine eat you alive. Solid advice right there. Bottom line, whoever the hell this guy is he now has the greatest pick-up line of all-time:

“Hey, how’d you get those scars?”

“Ah, it wasn’t much. A mountain lion attacked me and I killed it with my bare hands.”

PS- It had to be Steven Seagal out for a run, right? Had to be. Maybe Liam Neeson.

PPS- The guy who killed the mountain lion said he needs to decompress and decide if he will go public. Countdown until he makes all the TV rounds. 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

 

Check out Alexander Goldinsky, man. Just screwing up Insurance Fraud like you read about. Listen, if you’re going to commit to a crime you have to be all in. You can’t half-ass it like Alexander Goldinsky. That’s Insurance Fraud 101 really. Simply lying down like you’re taking a nap won’t cut it in the Insurance Fraud game, and it’s embarrassing to any self-respecting Insurance Frauders out there.

PS- From this day hence it will be said of anyone who screws up an Insurance Fraud scam that they “pulled a Goldinsky.”

A Taiwanese woman known as the “Bikini Climber,” has tragically died after freezing to death following a fall. GiGi Wu, 36, was embarking on a 25-day hike when she stumbled 65-feet down a ravine in Central Taiwan’s Yushan Mountain, Taiwan News reported. Due to the impact of the fall, Wu sustained injuries to her leg and was unable to move, the outlet reported. Despite her many calls for help, emergency responders were not able to immediately reach her as weather conditions were extremely dangerous. Nearly 28-hours later, Wu was airlifted out but was pronounced dead, officials said, according to local site Liberty News.

Listen, I don’t want anyone to die. That said, some people are begging for it, you know? I mean, climbing mountains while wearing a bikini and then freezing to death has to be the most predictable thing ever, right? Sort of like taking selfies on building ledges and then dying by falling from a great height, that sort of thing. Reminds me of the guy who tried to take a selfie with a crocodile and got eaten. People, man. They’ll apparently do anything for attention, including killing themselves.

 

 

I actually attempted two websites before this one and neither really caught on. The first was called Rock Hard Times and was all about music. The second was called The Inside Handshake and stuck exclusively to sports. Then one day it hit me – why limit myself to one subject? Hell, I have opinions and observations on other stuff as well. Why not open it up to everything? Music, sports, politics, science, entertainment, nature, the list was endless. Thus was born Shoe: Untied, a play on my name along with the idea of sort of letting loose (actually a friend of mine came up with the title and I liked it). Anyway, as you know the site turned out to be a pretty eclectic one, and that’s the way my crack staff and I like it.

One thing I discovered early is that you can never, ever predict what people will like. Sometimes I write something I think is great and get very little response. Other times I write something that I feel is sort of trivial and it just blows up (see drunk pig blog below). Like the title says, it defies explanation.

With that said, here is our annual year-end report and Top 25 Most Popular Blogs for 2018. We’ll start with #1 and work our way down. Just click on the title if you want to take a gander.

Australian Pig Steals 18-Beers From Campers, Gets Drunk, Fights Cow

Yes ladies and gentlemen, a short little article I posted along with my observations back in 2014 got over 500,000 views this past year. For you non-mathematicians, that’s over half a million people. Seriously man, it was about a drunk pig. See, a radio station out in Seattle happened upon my site, liked the post, and put a link to that story on its website. Then the Aussies got hold of it and the rest is history.

UPDATE: Drunk Australian Pig That Started Fight With Cow Killed In Car Accident

Aaaand of course the throngs of people who loved the drunken swine story were interested in the tragic update. On a related note, Australians and I have the same exact sense of humor.

My Side of the Story

Nearly 400,000 people from all over the world heard my side of the story, and I’m glad they did.

Sis

I thought losing a basketball job was a tragic experience. I soon learned that, on life’s grand scale, it wasn’t.

My Dad and I

My memories of my father, who we lost just 53-days after my sister.

“Things Most White People Say” List Is Hilarious, Also 100% Correct

Basically just a repost of some funny tweets I’d run across. Good stuff and people liked it.

Incredible Photo of the Day: Gator Catch!

This was another post that the Australians inexplicably enjoyed. A large percentage of its views came from the Land Down Under.

So How Many People Did The Rifleman Actually Kill?

I love the old TV show The Rifleman, so one day I decided to research just how many people Lucas McCain actually killed. The answer? 120. Ol’ Luke murdered 120 people. But hey, they all deserved it so it’s cool.

Scioto Valley Conference Boys Basketball Preview & Predictions

A preview I wrote regarding our local basketball conference. I must say it’s turning out the way I predicted. So far.

The 2017 Ugly Dog Contest Was An Absolute Joke

My critique of the Ugly Dog Contest and its beautiful winner, Martha.

Cool Beans! Words and Phrases That Need To Make A Comeback

Another story I published a couple years that seems to never go away. Just a simple blog about words.

An American Hero: Ruby Bridges

My story about Ruby Bridges, the little 6-year old African-American who integrated an all-white elementary school in New Orleans on November 14, 1960.

Map of the Day: World Rat Distribution

The most fascinating aspect of this map is that Alberta, Canada is rat free, and it’s not by accident.

Regarding Beach Midgets

Just an offbeat, original little story that people seemed to find hilarious.

15 Reasons I Hate LeBron James (Or Used To)

I wrote this after LeBron left Cleveland with his ridiculous television show, “The Decision”. I really did hate the guy for a few years, but he won me back with his letter admitting he’d made a mistake with the way he left, then returning to Cleveland and ultimately bringing them a championship.

Celebrity Mugshots: My Top 10

Another old post that saw a resurgence of sorts in 2018. I’ve no idea why.

Meet Australian Cow Knickers, the Biggest Damn Cow You’ll Ever See

Again, Australians, man.

If You Haven’t heard of August Landmesser It’s a Damn Shame

I’m truly glad people liked this one, and I’m glad I got to spread the word about August Landmesser.

Paint Valley Basketball Records

This is a page I maintain that’s linked to Shoe: Untied. It gets a lot of hits.

Brad Kerns and Parenting the Way It Should Be

A telling story about one of my basketball parents and also one of the best friends I ever had.

The Many Worlds Theory is Wildly Fascinating

A pretty good example of what an eclectic website Shoe: Untied really is.

Map of the Day: USA IQ Test Scores by State

I had a lot I wanted to say here politically bit I couldn’t pull the trigger.

Man Killed Trying to Bring Christianity to Remote Island Tribe

A recent story that was quite controversial. Seems not everyone agreed with my views.

Another Drunk Animal Causes Havoc, and This Time It’s a Sozzled Squirrel.

Who knew drunk animal stories would be so wildly popular? Not I.

Don’t Think Animals Are Scary Smart? Read On.

There’s a certain segment of people who visit my site that can’t get enough of the animal stuff. They just eat it up. Animals, man.

So there ya go. All in all it was the biggest year ever for Shoe: Untied, and I thank the people who visit because you’re obviously as nuts as I am.

Happy New Year everyone.

 

COLLIER COUNTY, Fla. (WTXL) – A Florida woman has been arrested after robbing a postal worker with a plastic toy gun and fleeing on a tricycle.

Leida Crisostomo, 52, of Naples, was arrested on Saturday by the Collier County Sheriff’s Office.

According to the Naples Daily News, while being handcuffed, Crisostomo yelled “God was telling me to do things.”

Now, some may say this woman is batshit crazy, but you know what? I totally believe her. Why, you ask? Because I firmly believe God messes with us sometimes. Yep, it was probably a slow Saturday in the afterworld and God was bored. So, he just randomly picked out Leida Crisostomo down in Naples and told her to go rob a postal worker with a plastic toy gun and flee on a tricycle. Then he sat back and enjoyed the festivities. God, man. Always up to something.

PS- You know, if you really think about it my theory explains a lot.

PPS- What self-respecting postal worker allows themselves to be robbed by a woman on a tricycle with a toy gun? Sad really. 

PPPS- Some phrases are just inherently funny, and “flee on a tricycle” is one of them.

 

A big game hunter/veterinarian who sparked worldwide fury when he posed next to a lion he had killed has died after falling 100-feet down a ravine while shooting birds. Officials say he was out hunting with pals when he slipped on ice and fell down a ravine at Colle Delle Oche in the hills above the Italian city of Turin.

Luciano Ponzetto had angered animal lovers by posing smiling next to a lion he had shot and then uploading it onto his Facebook page. He hit back at critics and said: “I know that I have done nothing wrong. I am being criticized by people who do not know me, I have always loved my work and I have always loved wild animals.”

First off, we all know this wasn’t an accident, right? The animals are striking back. This dude was pushed off that cliff by a horde of revenge-seeking rabbits or squirrels or something, man. Just shoved him over the edge in the name of Simba, Cecil, the Cowardly Lion and all the other lions. And hey Luciano, please explain how you can “love wild animals” while also putting a slug in their brain. Newsflash – you can’t. Just be honest and tell us you get your jollies killing beautifully majestic creatures. Karma, man. It’s a bitch.

What can I say, some headlines just write themselves . . .

BYRON, Ill. — Ten football players at a Northern Illinois high school were suspended from the team for three games last month after they ran across the field naked with Oreo cookies wedged between their buttocks. The Rockford Register Star reports that the Byron High School players were suspended for indecent exposure after school administrators concluded they went on the “Oreo Run” at the school’s football field voluntarily and were not victims of hazing.

Well, isn’t this a crummy story. Listen, I couldn’t care less that a bunch of football players were involved in some homo-erotic team tradition. Hey, to each his own. What does bother me is that perfectly innocent Oreos were involved. Delicious Oreos are made to be eaten, not double-stuffed into a tight end. That’s abuse of a delicious snack treat, my friends.

PS- I heard one of the guys lost the filling in his ass. That’s unfortunate.

PPS- That “double stuffed into a tight end” line is what separates me from your ordinary bloggers, kids.

See what I did there?

Washington Post: A Texas mother is calling out a Southwest Airlines employee who she said mocked her 5-year-old daughter’s name and then posted a picture of the small child’s boarding pass on social media.
Traci Redford told ABC affiliate KABC her daughter’s name is Abcde, which is pronounced “ab-si-dee.”

Redford said the incident occurred when she and her daughter were preparing to board a flight from Santa Ana, Calif., home to El Paso, Tex. Redford told the station that a gate agent at California’s John Wayne Airport saw Abcde’s name and started pointing, laughing and talking to other employees about Redford and her child.

Southwest Airlines has since apologized, saying that the social media post is “not indicative of the care, respect, and civility” that the airline requires from its employees.

Here’s the deal. If you name your kid Abcde you should not only expect her to be mocked, you should expect her to be belittled, razzed, teased, disparaged, scorned, roasted, bad-mouthed and pooh-poohed. What are you going to name your next kid, Fghijk? Then Lmnopq? The mind reels, man.

PS- Seriously, why do people try so hard to come up with unique names for their kids? Every time little Blayde or Hayzil or Aliviyah gives someone their name at a bank or hotel they’re going to have to spell it out for the rest of their lives. Little Max, Sam or Hank? Not so much. Time saved, baby.

PPS- Turns out Abcde is not that unique. A little Googling reveals that an Abcde Zoller plays soccer for the University of Hawaii at Hilo, and an Abcde de Coito teaches Zumba classes in the Aloha state. The site NameCandy also suggests the name may also be relatively common in New Mexico and among Latino families. Huh. Who knew?

These are the young men of Baraboo High School in Wisconsin. They are posing on the steps of the county court house before their prom last Spring. And yes, most of them are giving the Nazi salute. How, I ask you, has blatant racism become so acceptable for some people in 2018? How could anyone think this is OK? Hell, by the looks on their faces they seem to find themselves hilarious. I ask you, who has enabled racists to become so damn brazen?

Click to see the faces of bigots up close.

PS- It’s Trump. The person I’m talking about is Trump.

TUSCUMBIA — Police say warrants are expected to be issued today for a Birmingham man who fell through the ceiling of a Tuscumbia restaurant Sunday during a botched burglary.

Detective Sgt. Wes Holland said police are searching for Wesley Glenn Bost, 27, who fell through the ceiling of Waffle House on U.S. 72.
He said the warrants are for first-degree criminal mischief and burglary.

“He was trying to break into the office of the restaurant by going through the ceiling of the bathroom,” Police Chief Tony Logan said. “Apparently, he made a wrong step and he fell into the dining area.” Logan said the man had used his pants to tie up the door of the bathroom to keep anyone from coming in. Logan said it is believed Bost was on drugs when he fell into the dining area with nothing but his underwear on. “Some of the people inside tried to grab him when he fell into the dining room but he escaped.”

Exciting night at the Waffle House, huh? One minute you’re sitting there enjoying dinner and the next a pantsless man plummets through the ceiling into your Chocolate Chip Waffle. That blows, man. And what the hell, Wesley Glenn Bost, they don’t have locks on the bathroom doors in Tuscumbia, Alabama?

PS- How do you tie a door shut with your pants? Anybody?

PPS- I tried to work a “he escaped by the seat of his pants” in there but I couldn’t figure it out.

PPPS- While my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied was researching this article they found that the Tuscumbia town slogan is “Charm of the Shoals.” I like it.

PPPPS- I swear to God it took me 10-minutes to figure out which was correct, “pantsless” or “pantless.” FYI: Turns out both are acceptable.

PPPPPS- This gives me an excuse to run this classic:

 

 

If this doesn’t make you laugh you are a heartless, empty-souled sub-species of a humanoid who lacks emotions of any kind. That’s science.

A scientist plunged a kitchen knife into his colleague as he was fed up with the man telling him the endings of books, say investigators.

Sergey Savitsky, 55, and Oleg Beloguzov, 52, would pass the lonely hours during four harsh years together in a remote outpost in Antarctica by reading.

However Savitsky became angry after Beloguzov kept telling him the endings, it has been claimed.

Daily Record reports that the victim is now in intensive care with a knife injury to his heart.

He was flown from Russia’s Bellingshausen research station on King George Island to Chile following the alleged attack.

No way Sergey Savitsky can be convicted, amirite? I mean, if anyone ever deserved a knife to the heart it’s Oleg Beloguzov. What kind of an evil ne’er-do-well would keep telling his buddy how books ended while living in a remote outpost for 4-years in Antarctica? Dude was asking for it. That’s cold, man (pun intended).

PS- No way I’d work on a Russian outpost in Antarctica. I saw The Thing, man.

Hey, it’s Monday. Tough day for all of us. Some of us may have gone a little hard whilst watching football yesterday, who knows? Long week ahead and whatnot. But guess what? At least you weren’t standing on a sidewalk when a gaping chasm of death suddenly opened up below you, sucking you into a murky hellhole of concrete, dust and steel rebar. I’m pretty sure I caught a glimpse of the Angel of Darkness amidst that dust. Chills, dude.