Even More Proof That Teddy Roosevelt Was Either a Badass or Batshit Crazy

Yep. Not photoshopped.

You all know about my man Teddy Roosevelt. After all, I wrote about him in the acclaimed and cleverly titled blog “11 Examples That Show Teddy Roosevelt Was Either A Badass Or Batshit Crazy“. Click on that link to read about all that was Teddy.

Finished? Good.

What follows are 7 of the most savage, vicious lines that our boy Teddy laid upon some poor folks that got in his way. Dude makes Trump’s put downs sound like they came from an 11-year old. Read on . . .

I shall start with a personal favorite. Teddy once said of William Jennings Bryan, then Secretary of State to Woodrow Wilson, “He’s a professional yodeler, a human trombone.”

Boom. Roasted.

Once a Supreme Court justice dared to cross our man. Teddy proceeded to call him a “an amiable old fuzzy-wuzzy with sweetbread brains.”

Ouch. That’s cold, man.

Here’s what he said about William Alfred Peffer, a senator from Kansas who was hairy, tall, and lean – “He’s a pin-headed, anarchistic crank, of hirsute and slab-sided aspect.”

Uh, OK?

Novelist Henry James once called Roosevelt “dangerous.” Teddy responded by calling James “a little emasculated mass of inanity.”

Burn.

Teddy once said of some government official named Charlie Lyman, “he’s the most intolerably slow of all men who ever adored red tape.” 

He saved some of his best zingers for William Howard Taft, calling him things like a “puzzlewit” and a “fathead.” He also said he had “brains less than a guinea pig.”

No love lost between those two, man.

Even family members weren’t immune to his barbs. He said of his brother Elliott, “He is evidently a maniac, morally no less than mentally.”

So you see, the Mad Tweeter that currently sits in the White House isn’t the first president to lower himself to insults about his enemies. Sure, Teddy delivered his lines with considerably more intelligence, but that’s no shocker.

Anyway, Teddy Roosevelt? You didn’t want to get on his bad side.