Posts Tagged ‘Weird College Mascots’

So I was watching the NCAA Tournament a couple of weeks ago and noticed St. Louis’s mascot as they were showing some highlights from the Billiken’s season. This got me to thinking, and what I thought was, “What the hell IS that?” I also started me wondering how many other weird mascots might be out there. Turns out the answer is . . . a lot. Tonight’s first game featured a terrifying mascot, so let us begin with him/her/it . . .

Wichita State Shockers

MascotWS

Holy . . . why is that wheat so pissed off? Looks a little like Bart Simpson’s roid-ragey brother. Maybe he’s mad because his name is WuShock and he’s from, you know, Wichita. You mad, bro?

St. Louis Billikens

MascotBill

SWEET MOTHER!!!! What the?!?!? That’s a white devil, right? Staring into your soul? Jeebus. The school website says a Billiken is a “symbol of luck” but I ain’t buyin’ it. Symbol of the Anti-Christ maybe.

Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders

MascotMTS

Is that The Mothman? A dragon? Wait. That’s supposed to be a horse? That’s what the website says. A horse called Lightning. Still, I guess it’s better than their original mascot, which was Nathan Bedford Forrest, a Confederate General and the founder of a fun little club called the Ku Klux Klan. Yikes.

Washburn Ichabods

MascotIchabod

A-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!!! Those eyes! The sideburns! The huge chin! And why would you have a mascot named after the dude who encountered The Headless Horseman? Wait. This is a different Ichabod? Ichabod Washburn, a wealthy industrialist who gave copious amounts of money to the school? Well, THAT’S boring. Never mind.

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers

MascotWKU

The Western Kentucky Hilltopper mascot is, well, a red blob of nothingness. It’s name is, fittingly, Big Red. B-o-o-o-o-ring. Is it The Evil Grimace’s more evil brother? Nobody knows.

Akron Zips

MascotZip

The Akron Zips mascot is Zippy, a kangaroo. Because we all know Kangaroos are native to northeastern Ohio. Now that I think of it, it is probably better than a rubber tire or a smog cloud.

University of Arkansas at Monticello Boll Weevils

MascotBollWeevil

Two comments here. Number one, why would a school in Arkansas have a mascot that is the most destructive cotton pest in the United States; Number two, that Boll Weevil has a nose that looks like that thing that hangs in the back of your mouth. That is all.

University of Louisiana-Lafayette Cayennes

MascotCayennePepper

Yep. That is a giant, walking hot pepper. And that pepper is pissed. Oh, and yes, those are flames coming out of his arms. Cool.

Campbell University Camels

MascotCamel

I had to add a sideview here, because man, that camel has a big head don’t he? And you know why there’s nobody at that game? Because they’re scared of that camel. On a related note, where the hell’s the hump? That’s a humpless camel. Embarrassing.

Texas Christian University Horned Frog

MascotHornedFrog

I have just one observation here. That is the tallest Horned Frog ever. Gotta be a 7-feet tall lizard, amirite? And they are lizards. I looked it up.

Evergreen State Geoduck

MascotGeoDuck

Oh boy. How to say this. We all know what the top of this thing looks like, right? And didn’t the designers sort of give up at the waist? Gym shorts and . . . that’s it? Really? And why the hell is it called a Geoduck? According to the worldwide interweb it’s a large, edible, saltwater clam. Hey, I love clams but that thing looks in no way tasty.

 Delta State Fighting Okra

MascotOkra

Yeah, I’d be leaning the other way too, kid. The bottom half of that thing looks like an inflatable raft and the top half resembles a really pissed off hot pepper. And it’s wearing boxing gloves. And seriously, that kid is petrified.

Ohio Weslyan Battling Bishops

MascotBatBishop

Because Holy Wars are the worst kind of wars. In addition, always fear a guy coming at you in a robe and a beanie. Just sayin’.

University of California at Santa Cruz Banana Slugs

MascotSlug

Any self-respecting mascot list has to include the Banana Slug, no? Still, it seems like it would be an easy opponent to take down. I mean, one sprinkle from a salt shaker and it’s over.

North Carolina School of Arts Fighting Pickles

MascotFightingPickles

Man, that pickle doesn’t look so good. Hey bud, penicillin will clear that right up.

So there ya go. Some of the most disgusting, absurd, preposterous mascots known to man. Okra? Pickles? Geoducks? Really? What a joke. How can the fans of these schools look at themselves in the mirror in the morning with such ridiculous mascots?

Wait . . .

mascotbuckeye

Never mind.