Archive for October, 2016

A species of worm in the north-east Atlantic has been observed farming. They plant grass seeds in their burrows and feed on the sprouts when they start growing.

 

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gascapSorta sounds like a Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew mystery, amirite? But seriously, I once had a mystery involving a lost gas cap.

I mentioned this briefly in a story a couple years ago, but thankfully this was a mystery that ultimately had an explanation, albeit a bit of a mind-bending one.

Here’s what went down. One year while driving home from vacation, I stopped to get gas on the West Virginia Turnpike. So far so good. But as I pulled back onto the highway and started to accelerate I heard something bouncing on the roof of my 4-Runner.

What the hell?

It was then I suddenly realized I’d put the gas cap on the roof as I filled up (this was before they were attached) and forgot to replace it. That was my gas cap bouncing away, presumably onto the highway and into oblivion.

Although it was an inconvenience, it was otherwise not that big of a deal. When I got home I bought a new one and went on with my life. However . . .

It had to have been 2-months later as I was walking out to get my mail when I noticed something in my driveway. I walked over, looked down, and there on the ground, unmistakably, was my original gas cap.

What the hell? To say I was bewildered was an understatement.

As odd as it sounds, the first thing that raced across my mind was the irrational thought that somebody had found my gas cap, brought it to my house, and threw it in my driveway.

Of course, that made zero sense, and even if somebody had found my gas cap, decided to return it and somehow figured out where I lived, I’m pretty sure they’d knock on my door rather than toss it in my driveway.

After getting my head together and thinking this over for a few minutes, the only thing I could surmise was that it had been stuck on the roof of my 4-Runner somehow, probably on the luggage rack, and had fallen off in my driveway. That had to be it, right?

Still, what are the odds that, after me driving around for weeks, it would fall off right there in my driveway?

That’s one hell of a coincidence.

Apparently Draymond Green’s infatuation with men’s crotches has not abated. Not sure who’s doing the crotch kick here, but apparently Draymond’s antics are catching on. Seriously, this is such a cheap, childish move, isn’t it? Hate it.

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He was angry because the elevator hadn’t arrived yet. Uh, dude? There’s a reason those doors wouldn’t open.

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The mangroves are a unique and really, really important ecosystem. As in all the ecosystems, you can find a predator at the top of the food chain to regulate the good health of the ocean. Hence this awesome American Crocodile.

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So this video is busting out all over the interweb and people are going nutso over it. Anyhoo, I bet the folks over at Loch Ness are pissed, huh? They’ve been over there selling Loch Ness Monster t-shirts and bumper stickers for years and now this big guy comes along, on Halloween no less, just swimming along like a boss and stealing all the ink. Diabolical move by the Alaskan beast. Just savage. Here’s a look. Appears to be a 4 or 5-foot fish to me, but what do I know?

Note: Be sure and watch the second video. It’s about the legendary Providence Sea Monster and it’s an absolute cinematic classic.

Note 2: Experts are now saying the Alaska video may actually be of a big Sturgeon. Boom. See? I told you so.

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Love this version of the song.

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I’m reading a great book called “When the Game Was Ours” by Jackie MacMullen. It’s about the relationship between Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. I can’t put it down. A part of the book talks about the legendary Converse commercial the pair did in 1986. This short video relates to that commercial.

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Russell Westbrook went for 51-13-10 tonight. On a related note, he took 44-shots in 45-minutes. That is all.

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This video shows a bunch of people reacting to last week’s Walking Dead. If nothing else, it shows what incredible feelings people have invested into this show. If you’re not a fan you simply can’t understand, but I basically felt the same as a lot of these people. The death of Glenn was absolutely gut-wrenching as you’ll see if you watch.

[WARNING: Extremely bad language]

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I swear to you I have zero sympathy for these people when this sort of thing happens. Zero. You’ve imprisoned a wild animal, trainer lady, and when that animal reverts to what it actually is you’re on your own. To be honest I was hoping that tiger bit her leg off, turned on the guy with the stick and ripped his head off, then escaped into the woods and lived happily ever after eating berries, rabbits, squirrels and the occasional lost child. Have a nice day.

PS – That kid watching was mesmerized, wasn’t he? Pretty sure he feels exactly like I do. You know, except for the eating kids part. 

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Oddly enough there have been a few songs that, coincidentally or not, seemed to foretell the future. I know, weird, but I wouldn’t lie to y’all. Anyhoo, let’s take a gander . . .

Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (album)

A lot of folks believe this album predicted 9/11. Let’s take a look.

First of all, from the song “Jesus, Etc.”:

“Tall buildings shake, Voices escape singing sad sad songs,

Voices whine, Skyscrapers are scraping together, Your voice is smoking.”

Well, that is a little unnerving I suppose. Let’s continue . . .

From the song “War on War”:

“Moving forward through the flaming doors, You have to lose, You have to learn how to die if you want to be alive.”

Yikes. Still, not that bad I guess? Wait . . .

Yankee Hotel Foxtrot was to be released on September 11th, 2001.

Want more? Here are a couple of other nifty notes about this album:

1) It features another song called “Ashes of American Flags” and

2) The cover art bears a passing resemblance to a couple of tall buildings.

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Holy . . .

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Street Survivors (album)

On October 20, 1977, just three days after the release of the now unfortunately titled Street Survivors, the plane Lynyrd Skynyrd was traveling in crashed in a forest near Gillsburg, Mississippi. The line “the smell of death surrounds you” in the song “That Smell” took on a whole new ugly meaning after three bandmates, including lead singer Ronnie Van Zant, perished. As if the song and the album title weren’t enough, thanks to the plane crash, Street Survivors now had quite possibly the most inappropriate album cover in the history of albums covers.

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Oh boy.

Yep, that’s Lynyrd Skynyrd and yep, they are indeed on fire. Unfortunate, man.

Hank Williams: I’ll Never Get Out of this World Alive

Well hell, that pretty much lays it out there, huh? Then again, we’re all dying at some point so maybe it’s not that big of a deal. Then again, there’s this little nugget – “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive” was the last single Hank Williams released in his lifetime. Consider the chorus:

“No matter how I struggle and strive. I’ll never get out of this world alive.”

Ole’ Hank barely made it out of the rest of the year alive. On the morning of January 1st, 1953, just months after the song was released, he was pronounced dead at the Oak Hill Hospital emergency room.

Note: After Hank’s death his record sales skyrocketed, so he was the first artist whose family and record company benefited from his passing. Elvis, John Lennon and many others followed. Wait. Does Beethoven count?

Jimi Hendrix: The Ballad of Jimi

hendrixIn 1965 Jimi Hendrix waltzed into a New York recording studio and cut a new song about how some brother named Jimi was going to be dead in five years. “The Ballad of Jimi” starts when Hendrix declares that the song is dedicated to the memory of his best friend. That the friend’s name is a guitar player named Jimi is apparently to be chalked up to coincidence. Seriously, that’s what they thought at the time. Then again, they were all probably drugged out of their skulls so there’s that.

If you don’t mind being weirded out of your mind, take a gander at these lyrics:

Many things he would try, for he knew soon he’d die, Now Jimi’s gone, he’s not alone, His memory still lives on. Five years, this he said. He’s not gone, he’s just dead.”

And nearly 5-years later to the day, he was dead, having choked to death on his own vomit. Sweet son of a mother that’s creepy.

The Buggles: Video Killed the Radio Star

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Visionaries I tell ya!

Sure, there were music videos as far back as the 60’s (see The Beatles, man), but it wasn’t until MTV was unleashed on the world at 12:01am on August 1, 1981, when this video was first shown. The thing is, the video predicted exactly what was to come. Cool.

There’s another song that purported to predict the future called “Murder Was The Case”, but it was by Snoop Dogg and predicted he’d be charged with murder, which came true a couple years later. But seriously, is it that much of a stretch for a rapper to predict he’d be charged with murder? I think not. Because of this I left a song by Tupac out as well.

Have a great weekend.

This happened at Ohio University because of course it did. OU, man.

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The Bombing of Kobe in World War II took place on March 16 and 17, 1945. It was part of the strategic bombing campaign waged by the United States against military and civilian targets and also population centers during the Japan home islands campaign in the closing stages of World War II. On a related note, that’s a whole lotta bombs.

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Pure comedy.

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Back at ya brother.

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That’s insane, man.

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Man, that’s a rocket.

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So some old guy named Allen Sorrentino wrote a letter to the editor of the yogaBarrington Times (it’s in Rhode Island – I checked) yesterday and just went to town on women who wear yoga pants. Listen, I know some ladies don’t look the greatest in yoga pants but in my opinion it’s like anything else, if you don’t like what you’re seeing turn away. And hey, if I get a bad order of sushi I’m not going to quit eating sushi, know what I mean? Bottom line, Allen Sorrentino doesn’t speak for all men and should shut his piehole.

Anyway, read the letter. It’s a masterpiece.

Update: The yoga pants wearing women have revolted. They’re planning a Yoga Pants Parade past this dude’s house.

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After this bomb was dropped, a bunch of yoga wearing protesters marched around this dude’s neighborhood. Yep, that happened, folks. Here’s proof:

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Close-up.

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Dyin’ over here.

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Fun Fact: I’ve eaten in Harry Caray’s restaurant a coupla times. The Truffled Arancini is amazing. 

Doesn't look a day over 27.

Doesn’t look a day over 27.

(WJAR) – The coach of a Providence, Rhode Island, youth football team is fired and his team kicked out of its league after he put a young man believed to be at least 18-years old into a game.

He suited up at halftime for the Capital City Buccaneers who were losing. He went onto the field and took part in several plays before getting kicked out.

Buccaneers founder Alexandra Diaz said she fired the coach and ended the team’s season as a result. She said the illegal player is the older brother of a player on the team.

When NBC 10 spoke with Diaz, she had not yet gotten word that the Rhode Island Pre-Teen Football League decided to permanently ban her team.

“It’s a safety issue,” league vice president Nelson Pedro told NBC 10.

Hey, if you’re not cheatin’ you’re not tryin’, amirite? Seriously though, what a fierce will to win that coach has, huh? Losing?

What the hell, let’s just sneak in Bobby’s 18-year old brother Bubba. Nobody will notice.”

Seemed like a sure-fire plan to me. And how about League Vice President Nelson Pedro? Dude has a flair for the obvious, doesn’t he? “It’s a safety issue.” Can’t argue with you there, Pedro.

Fun Fact: A Paint Valley varsity football coach once had a player thrown out of the game, so he had the kid switch jerseys right on the sideline in front of everybody. Then he put him back in the game. Of course the refs found out pretty quickly and he was thrown back out again. True story.

Can't we all just get along?

Can’t we all just get along?

Sorry Trump supporters, but it’s true. Barring some one-in-a-million, life-jolting, earth shattering event that knocks the world off its axis, the election is over.

The Donald can’t win.

Pundits can talk about emails, murders, lies, p*ssy grabbing, sniffling and the rest, but rest assured, no matter who you back in this volatile, emotion-filled election, the truth is it’s basically over.

See, here’s the problem. Most people watch FOX, MSNBC, CNN, CNBC (they all run together for me at this point) and even the old ABC, NBC and CBS networks, but they’re basically just hucksters out there trying to make a buck and gain viewership. Hell, they don’t want to tell you it’s over because people would quit watching and the money would quit rolling in. Nobody got time for that, now do they?

The reality, though?

Nate Silver, who called 49 or the 50 states in the 2008 election correctly, then followed that up by picking an incredible 50 of 50 in 2012, gives Clinton an 85.9% chance of winning and Trump a 14.1% chance.

Uh-oh. I’m no mathematician but that seems a bit lopsided, man.

Mitt Romney only won 206 electoral votes in 2012, and according to Karl Rove’s judgment, Trump can only feel comfortable with about 168 with 2-weeks to go. And friends, Karl Rove is about as conservative as you can get. He was Senior Advisor to President George W. Bush from 2000 to 2007. He also points out that although Trump is barely eeking out a polling lead here in Ohio and Iowa, he is behind in North Carolina and Arizona, states that Romney won. He adds that the deficit in other big electoral vote states like Florida is so severe that Trump is unlikely to pull ahead.

Somehow though, people have the impression that the race is close. For instance, I’ve heard from several people who are amazed at all the Trump signs they see along the road:

“I counted 112 Trump signs on the way to Dayton today! And there were only 29 for Hillary. Trump’s going to win!”

Too bad signs can't vote, amirite?

Too bad signs can’t vote, amirite?

The problem with that logic is this – sure, although Trump will probably win Southern Ohio, those votes will be cancelled out by just a few voting precincts in Cleveland.

It’s a fact, folks. Sorry.

Listen, I’m not a huge fan of either candidate. Hillary Clinton is flawed, to put it mildly, and Trump is, well, something. Scary maybe? This election the epitome of the phrase, “picking the lesser of two evils” to me.

But bottom line? If you really look at the information it would take a miracle for Donald Trump to win this election, and the reality is that it’s probably going to be a landslide.

And whatever happens, it’s going to take a whole lotta healing before our country can get on track again.

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See? Smiling doesn’t hurt. Wait. Is The Donald smiling?

Sidenote: I’ve never understood the Trumpian logic that says if Hillary wins the election is rigged, but if The Donald wins it is not. Makes zero sense. And oh, by the way, do you have any idea how difficult it would be to “rig” a national election? Hell, my dog Sparky and I can’t keep a secret and he can’t talk. 

 

I don’t know what it is that fascinates me so much about these photos. Maybe it’s the fact that Yao Ming seems like a good, cool dude just hanging out with all these tiny golfers like a boss. I mean, Tiger Woods looks like a toddler standing by him. Anyhoo, enjoy these photos of Yao Ming hanging out with golfers, one of whom is none other than Morgan Freeman. It’s a weird world, man.

Note: Please scroll down. You’ll thank me for it.

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