Posts Tagged ‘Giant tortoise runs for it but is caught by police.’

The giant tortoise failed to outrun the police, but damn it did he try. Good effort Clark.

The giant tortoise failed to outrun the police, but damn it did he try. Good effort Clark.

“The tortoise did try to make a run for it, but our officers are pretty fast,” said the Alhambra Police Department on its Facebook page. It took two officers to maneuver the 150-lb reptile into a police car. The tortoise, names Clark, was taken to an animal rescue center, from where he was later claimed by his owners.

Tortoises can run as fast as 1-mph “if they really want to,” the police said.

Wow, you have to give Clark credit here, huh? Just making a run for it like a boss. Saw his chance and went for it. That’s as American as apple pie, man. He was probably just cruising at 1/2 a mile per hour until he saw the police, then kicked it into overdrive, all the way up to 1-mph. Afterburners indeed.

And how about the battle that ensued after the Po-Po caught Clark? It took two, TWO officers to subdue my man. One cop alone cannot take in Clark. Not now, not ever.

And doesn’t the Los Angeles Police Department have something better to do than detain a giant tortoise trying to find freedom and possibly love? I think not.

Trust me, my friends, Clark will run again. And the next time he will succeed.

You go, Clark the Giant Tortoise. You go.

Note: This reminds me of some of my idiot friends who, years ago, found a giant turtle on the beach during Spring Break in Daytona on their last day there. Being the intellectual giants that they were, they put it in their van and tried to take it home. It smelled so bad they left it in a truck stop parking lot somewhere off the West Virginia Turnpike at 3:00 am. Poor thing was probably turned into Turtle Stew by some rednecks.