Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Listen, I rarely use exclamation points at the end of my titles but if any video deserves it it’s this one. I swear to God this may be the single greatest Christian band in the annals of Christian bands. I feel like going to church right now, not even kidding. And that lead singer is straight fire. This band has it all – the moves, the hot keyboardist, mind-blowing backup vocals, just pure electric on all levels. These cats have a straight line to Jesus, no doubt about it. Breathtaking really. Now excuse me while I go download Sonseed’s entire catalog.

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Ever see something that makes you laugh and you don’t really know why? I swear I took one look at this photo and laughed out loud. There’s something about it that just cracks me up. The Pope is sort of turned away, looking miserable or maybe a little perplexed, and The Donald just grinning like a kid who just told on his little brother or conned the American people or something. It’s wild, man. Anywho, maybe it’s just me but I thought I’d share.

PS- Looks like the making of a great reality show, amirite? Watch The Pope & The Donald, just a wacky show about a couple bros and their crazy shenanigans. Wednesdays at 9:00 pm on A&E.

Very cool.

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Interesting.

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God, I love this. Jesus had to travel at night because he didn’t have shoes and the sand was too hot, but these two multimillionaire preachers* are justifying their private jets by saying the Lord told them they need one. That’s classic TV preacher right there.

*I looked it up. The guy on the left, Kenneth Copeland, has a net worth of $760-million. Jesse Duplantis, the guy on the right, is a little more secretive regarding his wealth but a photo of his house is below. 

Here’s a photo of Copeland’s house.

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And here’s the house of DuPlantis, under construction.

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So anyway, congrats to all the folks who donate to these men. After all, I’m sure it’s important to them that they have this lifestyle. You know, because God told them to have it. Hallelujah!

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Hmmm. The West and New England mostly. And what’s up with Wisconsin and Indiana?

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I see you, Arizona.

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Informative, at least to me.

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Looks more like Roger Daltrey to me.

Daily Mirror – After a small landslide in the San Francisco area of Putumayo in Colombia a likeness of Jesus has appeared in the landslide scar.  The newspaper reports that the apparition is attracting hundreds of visitors – enough to need the presence of the police to control the crowds.

There he goes again, just popping up right and left everywhere you go. Heck*, I remember a couple years ago when somebody saw Jesus on a dog’s butt.

*I don’t know, “hell” just didn’t seem appropriate today.

I searched up “Face of Jesus” on The Goggle and found that HE has appeared on an Ikea Door, a roast, mold, various walls, drainpipes, a Chinese takeout box, bread, a cider bottle, a bruise, a ham sandwich, a chicken, and yes, on a sock. Not even kidding. Check ’em out:

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You know, I’ve never understood the insanity surrounding this “Face of Jesus” phenomenon. People just go nuts flocking to see them, falling to their knees and praying, just losing their gourds. But what’s the big deal, really? I’m sure I could find the face of Elmer Fudd everywhere if I looked hard enough. And why would Jesus make his face appear on a potato chip in the first place? What’s the point?

Then again, maybe Jesus just has a great sense of humor. Perhaps he’s up there just messin’ with us. I can see it now . . .

“Hey angels, watch this. I’m gonna put my image on this Cheeto and see if Harvey Weinbaum notices. Wait . . . wait . . . dang it! He ate it. Didn’t even look. Shoot. Let’s try it on Georgette Hugglesworth down in Mississippi. I’ll put my face on some grits. Here we go. What the heck? She chugged it down like a slurpee at the state fair. Holy cow.” 

And so on . . .

Seriously, if I was Jesus I’d appear during the Super Bowl. I’d be 20-feet tall and just pop right up on the 50-yard line. I’d do a moonwalk and the splits right in front of the world like a boss. Then I’d twirl, take a bow, zoom back up to heaven and watch everybody run to church and pray for their sorry souls. But have my face appear on a banana peel? Not so much.

Note: I once saw an image of Kate Beckinsale on my shower curtain but that’s neither here nor there.

Listen, I don’t claim to really understand the whole Bar Mitzvah thing. Hell, I’m a simple Midwestern kid who didn’t know Jews from Buddhists growing up. Apparently though, it’s a Jewish Rite of Passage where a kid becomes accountable and stuff. What I do know is three things about Shawn Sperling:

1. Shawn Sperling just owned the dance floor like a boss.

2. Shawn Sperling loves him some Madonna.

3. Shawn Sperling has swag for days.

I ain’t mad at ya, Shawn Sperling. Express yourself young man. Express yourself.

So we’re talking about the Aztecs and their religious practices in class today. The topic of who and how they worshipped came up, and I was comparing it to Christianity and other religions. At one point I mentioned that in any religion there’s an element of faith involved and mentioned Jesus rising from the dead. That’s when Cody’s arm went up:

Me, warily, because I know Cody: “Yes, Cody?”

Cody: “Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with Christianity or anything, but if Jesus rose from the dead and walked out of that cave wouldn’t he, you know, be a zombie?”

Sometimes it’s best to just move on to the next question.

Which of course I couldn’t.

I considered it for a second, then we went on to have a 20-minute discussion on the Aztecs, Christianity, human sacrifice, Islam, zombies, Judaism, and the upcoming season opener of The Walking Dead.

Politically correct? Ummm, maybe not.

But you know, sometimes you gotta embrace those teaching moments.