Something Called “Earthing” is the Newest Wellness Trend

Oh Lord Jesus. From the website Quartzy:

If being well is simply about feeling good in our bodies and using them as they are designed to be used, then there’s an emerging wellness trend that’s worth checking out, a practice that requires neither aspiration nor great motivation: lying on the ground outside. There’s even a name for it. The “earthing” movement believes that “direct physical contact with the vast supply of electrons on the surface of the Earth” results in positive health outcomes, including reducing inflammation, cortisol levels, and improving sleep patterns. 

Yep, you read that right, kids, the newest emerging wellness trend is going outside and lying on the ground. The New Age folks have made a startling discovery this time, lemme tell ya. Who knew that lying on the ground was so good for you? I’ll tell you who knew. Every freaking kid on earth who grew up in the country. We’ve all lounged on the ground, stared at the skies or stars, and felt engulfed by that warm peacefulness. We just didn’t know it was coming from a vast supply of electrons, man.

PS- Sorry, people who grew up in the city. Pretty sure concrete, litter and human urine blocks the electrons. That’s just science.