9 Inventions Whose Time Has Come. Or Not.

Just imagine how the world has changed in your lifetime. Even younger people have seen major changes. As for me, hell, I remember when answering machines were new and exciting. You come home, see that little light flashing, and think, “Somebody left a message! Woohoo!” Hey, it was a simpler time. Little did I know it was the beginning of the end of all privacy. Anyway, here are a few inventions and ideas whose time has come. Or naw. Let us proceed:

THE COUNTDOWN TRAFFIC LIGHT

Being the impatient guy I am, I like his idea. However, I could also see people jumping the gun when the countdown got low, amirite? Yes I am. Always. Never forget that.

THE OUTLET PORT

Well, der. This has got to be what every outlet looks like in the future, correct? No brainer, man. A nightlight on there would be nice as well.

THE SOLAR POWERED PHONE CHARGER

Hell to the yah! You can use it anywhere, man. You know, except somewhere at night.

THE OUTLET EXTENSION CORD

Oh yes. YES. I’m thinking a 30-footer in every room. Genius.

THE PIZZA VENDING MACHINE

Yep. Heated pizza on every corner, cafeteria and break room. This should have been invented around 1965. What took them so long? Sigh. People are lazy, man.

THE MAGNETIC WALL OUTLET

OK, I like this idea but I’m not sure what I’d use it for other than keys, like in the photo there. I’m torn. Thoughts?

THE STEPS/SLIPPERY SLIDE ALTERNATIVE

I love this and would use it in a heartbeat. That said, in this day and age it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Sad really. That said, w-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!!!

THE BEAN BAG THEATER

Oh boy. On the surface this looks cool, but there are problems here. Don’t you think things might get a little, uh, weird? And would everything be thoroughly cleaned between showings? Hey, I have little faith in mankind, folks.

LIGHTS SHOWING OPEN PARKING SPACES

Yessir! This is a fantastic idea, no? Nothing worse than cruising around  parking garage looking for a spot. Let’s get this done pronto.

There you have ’em, folks. Thoughts? Comments? Discuss amongst yourselves and only yourselves. Whatever you do, don’t contact me. I’m feeling anti-social today.