Getting Over the Tough Losses

So I’ve been hearing the talking heads of the sports world, many of whom have no idea what it’s like to ever play a sport, discussing the collapse of the Baltimore Ravens a couple weeks ago.

Anyway, the discussion regarding blowing a game always seems to come down to this – will the losing team recover? How long will it take for them to get past this? It seems that most folks are saying things like, “Oh, it will sting for awhile but they’ll eventually get over it.”

Let me say this. I’ve coached for well over 30-years and have suffered some tough losses.

I had a team that was ranked #2 in Ohio and was undefeated through our first 15-games. We lost one of our best players to ineligibility and ended up losing our opening tournament game.

Another game we were undefeated and lost in triple overtime to a team we should have beaten. The team took several three 3-pointers in the last few seconds of the 4th quarter, getting their own rebound and kicking it back out for another chance 2-3 times. Problem is we were up 3 at the time and we should’ve fouled. For whatever reason I didn’t tell my team to do that. I think I was probably trusting my defense to make a stop, but in retrospect it was a bad decision. We ended up losing our first game of the year that night.

A few years ago my team played a district tournament game against a team that was 24-0 and we were up 5-points with about a minute left. In retrospect we had fouls to give and I probably should have used them, gradually working the clock down until our opponent had to take a quick shot with little time remaining. Instead I chose not to because #1) I didn’t want to stop the clock, #2) I feared we’d get an intentional foul call, and #3) I really believed in our defense. What happened was a kid threw in a 25-foot shot at the buzzer and we lost. So yeah, that one hurt.

In addition, I’ve had players miss free throws that would’ve won huge games for us, and I’ve had players turn the ball over in crucial situations that led directly to losses.

So, back to the original question. When do you get over tough losses and failures in really, really big games?

The answer is simple. You don’t.

Ever.

Sure, you learn to deal with it and you don’t dwell on it every day, but it never really leaves you. Not if you’re a real competitor.

For instance, that tournament game we lost back in 1993, nearly 30-years ago? How often do I think about it? Oh, not as much as I used to. Maybe once a week.

And the tournament game where we lost at the end? I still think of it 2-3 times a week if not more.

I’m serious. Second guessing yourself is a cruel game, man.

Because like I said, you never really get over it.

Ever.