When Confusion Reigned With Jimmy’s Mom

In coaching there are a million things you do that have nothing to do with basketball, believe me. Here’s an example . . .

Last season after a game I got a Facebook message from the mother of a player at a school we’d just finished playing. She told me her mother had left her cell phone in the gym and wondered if I knew somebody who’d be at the school to look for it.

It was closing in on midnight and I knew nobody was there, so I told her I’d run up and look. Then, after giving me a general idea of where her mom had been sitting, she gave me her cell phone number so I could call and let her know if I found it.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the gym was that the bleachers were all pushed in against the wall. Just when I was getting ready to try and find the controller to pull them back out, I had an idea – call the woman back and have her call her mother’s cell phone. Boom. I’d know right where the phone was located. Perfect plan, right?

Except it wasn’t.

When I called to explain my plan, the lady said sure, no problem. Then, after hanging up I went to mid-court and listened.

Nothing.

At that point my phone rang, I answered, and was told by the woman that her mother’s phone was on vibrate.

Well, hell.

Guess I’d have to pull the bleachers out and do a grid by grid search of the east lower bleachers of Donald. E. Anderson Gymnasium, fondly known as “The Jigger.”

But wait. I had another idea.

I called the woman, who I was really beginning to feel close to by this time,  back and asked her to call again and let it ring. My plan was to go the middle of the pushed-in bleachers, put my ear up against them, and listen.

Sure enough, I felt and heard a faint vibration coming from close to the area I’d been told they were sitting. The sound got louder as I slowly worked my way towards it. When I got to the spot where I believed it was, it happened to be under the top row, so I didn’t even have to pull the bleachers out. Boom! I just reached under and there it was. However, the following conversation then ensued:

Me, happily: “Got it.”

Female Caller: “Jimmy?”

Me, flummoxed: “No, Dave. Coach Shoemaker. I have your mom’s phone.”

Caller: “I’m Jimmy’s mom. Who are you again and why do you have Jimmy’s phone?”

Me, still not getting it: “No, you called me to find your mom’s phone. I found it.”

I swear I was still wondering why I wasn’t getting thanked profusely for finding somebody’s mother’s phone.

Caller: “I never called you. I called Jimmy’s phone and you answered. What’s going on? Where’s Jimmy?” 

It was probably the faint buzzing I heard in the background that caused my mind to engage and realize what had happened. There were two lost cell phones, dumbass. Rather than try and explain the madness, I simply told Jimmy’s mom he’d left his cell phone at a basketball game, told her how he could get it back, and hung up. I’m 99% sure she still had no idea what the hell was going on.

Sure enough, I then listened again using the same method and found the original phone, also under the top row.

What are the odds? Incredible really.

I answered the phone and thank God the original, and correct, mother was on the other end. Whew. At that point I expected a third mother to be on the other end.

In the end, everyone got their phone back so everyone was happy. All’s well that ends well I guess?

Note: That Jimmy must have a hell of a game, and I’m not talking sports. Had chicks texting him all night.