First off, let’s get this out of the way – I don’t like Pumpkin Pie. Never will, and you can’t make me. For this I am resolute and unapologetic. Also, and this may be shocking to many, I’m not crazy about turkey. That said, there are many a Thanksgiving dish I do savor, hence my Thanksgiving Dinner Power Rankings. Remember kids, before you get all up in arms and whatnot these are simply my personal preferences, so chillax. I also realize some of these are actually sides and not traditional Thanksgiving fare but I’m an adult (sort of) so I can do what I want. Let’s start at the bottom and work our way up . . .
10. Honey GlazedHam
Big ham guy here, but it has to be honey glazed. Nothing like a good glazin’ of honey, kids. Scrumptious.
9. Garlic Butter Cheesy Crescent Rolls
Yep. And butter those suckers up like a boss. Can’t have too much butter, heart attacks be damned.
8. Baklava
Can a Greek dish like Baklava be considered a Thanksgiving dish? Damn straight it can, because it’s delicious. Love that flaky phyllo pastry, man.
PS – I hope my friend takes this hint.
7. Oyster Stuffing
I know, I know. I don’t like turkey but I like stuffing. I’m a complex individual. Deal with it.
PPS- Must use Old Bay in the recipe. I learned this from someone who can actually cook.
6. Garlic Parmesan Mashed Potatoes
Love. It. Something about that garlic and parmesan mix that I love. On a related note, I can’t handle chunky mashed potatoes. Blech.
5. Deviled Eggs
My sister Sara makes some killer deviled eggs that are unsurpassed. A holiday staple.
4. Sausage Rolls with Worcestershire Sauce
So good. Heaven with a touch of tangy crispiness.
3. Garlic ParmesanStuffed Mushrooms
Aw, man. Add some cream cheese, black pepper and some other stuff and go to town on those bad boys. T-a-s-t-y.
2. Bacon WrappedSpicy Meatballs
Let’s see . . . spicy? Check. Meatballs? Check. Bacon? Hell yes. Gimme those small ones that you pick up with a toothpick and I may down 20 in a single sitting.
And #1 is . . . Pepper Jack Macaroni & Cheese w/Bacon Sprinkles
Because of course it is. To not like Mac ‘n’ Cheese is downright un-American, man. I’m a bit of a cheese snob, and I’ll take freshly grated cheese over packaged grated cheese all day, every way. And of course bacon makes everything better, including life in general. Anywho, you simply can’t go wrong with this cheesy bowl of goodness.
Aaaand I’ve made myself hungry again. Catch y’all later.
With all the madness going on lately I thought I’d lighten things up a little this weekend. Before we begin, I must make two points:
A hamburger is not a sandwich. Technically a sandwich is made by putting a filling, traditionally sliced meat (but now anything goes) between 2-slices of cut bread.
As a general rule I like my sandwiches hot.
A hot dog is not a sandwich, so shut your piehole.
Ok, I’m glad we got that out of the way. Let us proceed . . .
The following rankings are certain to evoke outrage, shock, and dare I say discombobulation amongst my loyal readers and for this I say sorry not sorry. This is my website and it is filled with my opinions, so deal with it. Let us commence with the rankings . . .
1.Grilled Cheese
Oh yeah. Everyone knows of my love for all things cheese, and I prefer my Grilled Cheese with Pepperjack and Bacon. However, I have been known to add some Jalapeño Peppers if I’m feeling like I need a kick. My favorite Grilled Cheese from around Southern Ohio can be found at Gibby’s in Circleville, The Rusty Keg in Washington Court House and Wagner’s Roadhouse here in Chillicothe.
Cheesey and Baconey goodness.
2. Oyster Po’ Boy
Love me an Oyster Po’ Boy, and my favorite can be found at Chilli Peppers Grill & Pupuseria in Kill Devil Hills, Outer Banks, NC. They put some sort of cheese sauce (yes, cheese again) and it is spectacular. I feel a road trip coming on!
3. Italian Sub
Hard to beat a well-made Italian Sub, man. I like mine with salami, mortadella, capicolla and ham along with Provolone cheese, green bell peppers, green olives, salt, and black pepper. I like the Italian Subs at Cristy’s in Chillicothe, but the ones made at the Valero right here in lil’ old Bourneville, Ohio are damn good as well.
4. Crab Cake Sandwich
Aw, man, I love a good Crab Cake Sandwich when prepared correctly. I need a lot of crab and less filler, but doesn’t everyone? I like j-u-s-t a touch of crispiness in my Crab Cake as well. I had them at the Thames Street Oyster House in Baltimore once and nearly passed out from sensory overload. So, so, so, so, so good. And I know a few Crab Cake aficionados recoil at the thought on eating them on a Brioche Bun, but those people can go to hell. Oh, and Crab Cake Sliders? Delish. PS- No tomato please.
5. Fried Bologna
My love of these go all the way back to when I was a kid and my mother would make them for me. Again, as a general rule I like my food cooked well and Mom would make them so they were a little crispy and turned up at the edges. I also like the thinner slices rather than the thick ones some places serve. Drop some Pepperjack on those bad boys and I’m in Hog Heaven. Get it? Hog Heaven? Pigs? Never mind. The Cozy and Wagner’s Roadhouse both make killer Fried Bologna sandwiches locally.
6. Tuna Melt
For me the best Tuna Melt includes mayo, some pickles for the crunchiness, just a little celery, Dijon mustard and of course Sharp Cheddar cheese. Again, not a big fan of tomato.
7. Philly Cheesesteak
Love a good Philly Cheesesteak, especially in Philly. Many will argue for Dalessandro’s and others as having the best cheesesteaks in Philadelphia, but I’d have to go with Chubby’s. I like it because the steak isn’t really finely chopped, nor is it in slabs, but the perfect in-between. Flavorful as all get out. They also have a Mushroom Swiss Chicken Cheesesteak that is absolutely killer.
8. Cuban
Sometimes called a Cubano sandwich, and I love them. The perfect Cubano is grilled and made with ham, pork, Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard, Cuban bread, and sometimes salami. However, the essential ingredient is the roasted pork, and it must be marinated in a spicy mojo sauce that includes orange juice, lime juice, garlic, oregano, and cumin. After the marinating you roast that baby and go to town. A buddy of mine from the Outer Banks used to have a Cuban restaurant called Bacu and his Cubano was spectacular.
9. Meatball Sub
A Meatball Sub is only as good as its meatballs. Duh. That said, the right Marinara sauce and cheesey toasted bread is essential as well. I had a Meatball Sub at Polpetti Meatball Bar in Chicago once and I must get back there post haste. Also, any self-respecting Meatball Sub must contain Grated Parmesan and Shredded Mozzerella Cheese.
10. The Gyro
I was told many times by an Italian ex of mine that this is pronounced YEE-roh and I have henceforth used that pronunciation. Anyhoo, the best Gyros I ever laid my tastebuds on were consumed at Bill’s Gyro Souvlaki on The Boardwalk in Atlantic City. It’s basically Ground lamb, seasonings, onion, garlic and bacon nestled in a pocket of Pita Bread. Then you add some Tzatziki Sauce and you’re in foodie heaven.
Just Missed The Cut: Fried Chicken Sandwich, Sloppy Joe, Lobster Roll, Ham & Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Roast Beef w/Swiss Cheese, BLT, Falafel Pita, Bagel w/Lox & Cream Cheese.
Highly Underrated: Straight Up Bacon Sandwich on White Wonder Bread, Straight Up Cheeze-Whiz Sandwich on White Wonder Bread. Random thought – I bet a Bacon & Cheez-Whiz Sandwich would be breathtaking. On it!
Cannot Go Without Mentioning: The legendary sandwich I invented called The Sweet Cheezus, consisting of Cheez-Whiz and Cheez-Its on toasted white bread. Glorious.
Get This Crap Out Of Here: Turkey Club, Rueben, Tuna Salad, Liverwurst, Cucumber Tea, Hummus.
Fun Fact: I’ve never had a PB & J sandwich, ever. It’s true.
Also a few other typewriter companies. Search it up on The Goggle.
World Book Encyclopedia
Man, when I was a kid that’s where you went for information. Apparently some people still do.
RadioShack
The main company can still be found online only, but there are a few hundred stores left that are run independently and bear the RadioShack name.
Eastman Kodak
Yes, in the age of digital cameras some folks still prefer the old style film. Thus Kodak survives.
MySpace
Yep, if you can remember your old password your MySpace page still exists.
Blackberry
In fact, I know a guy who still uses one. Loves the physical keyboard.
Long John Silver’s
A buddy of mine was in town from the Eastern Seaboard was shocked to see our local Long John Silver’s alive and kickin’. He said there must be a secret society among us that is keeping Long John Silvers afloat.
Blockbuster
As of July 2023, “The Last Blockbuster” is the only one in operation in the United States. It’s in Bend, Oregon and has become a tourist attraction.
Door-to-Door Kirby Vacuum Cleaners
Yes kids, door-to-door salespeople exist in 2023. Also, I remember when they’d show up at your door, come in and clean your rug, then try and guilt you into buying a vacuum.
Phone Books
Remember when the new phone book would arrive every year? The first thing you did was look for your name. Though I haven’t seen one in years they can still be found in many communities.
Everyone knows the deal. When you’re on Death Row and the big day arrives you can supposedly choose your last meal from anything on God’s green earth. I have no idea if this is true because it seems a little far-fetched to me, but let’s pretend it is. What would you choose for your last meal? I shall give you mine, dessert included, and then I want to hear yours. Just so you know I generally like food with a little kick, a little spice if you know what I mean. I’ve never been a huge fan of midwestern fare like Fried Chicken and stuff like that. That said, let us proceed . . .
Note: I’ve no idea if my apps, entree and dessert go together nor do I care. Hey, I’m an hour away from my demise. What do I care? Also, I presume my last meal won’t be six courses or anything like that so I’m keeping it fairly simple.
PRE-APPETIZER
A cup of Creamy Seafood Cowder with a little Texas Pete hot sauce mix in is my choice here. Love. It.
Note: I was at Hurricane Mo’s in the Outer Banks years ago and a bartender I knew served me some Seafood Chowder. Without even asking me she added Texae Pete and said, “Trust me. You’ll like it”. She was correct.
APPETIZER
I’d have to go with the Spicy Garlic Shrimp here. Toss in some hot butter for dipping and I’d be good to go. Don’t wanna fill up on the app though, that would be a big mistake before your Last Meal. Runner-up: Raw Oysters on a cracker with a touch of cocktail sauce.
DRINK
You don’t need anything fancy here here, perhaps a simple Grey Goose with a twist of lime, then sip it gently throughout the meal. Might want to go for a shot of something strong before the walk to the Death Chamber or whatever they call it though.
ENTREE
Man, I have a lot of ideas for a main dish. Pastas, seafoods, steaks, the list is seemingly endless. That said, I’ll have to go with a simple, medium well T-Bone topped with Ground Pepper Corn and Pepper Jack Cheese. Add sides of Garlic Butter Mushrooms and Bacon-Wrapped Scallops and I’d be happy. Well, as happy as I could be with a couple hours to live. Runner-up: Cajun Pasta with Shrimp and Scallops.
DESSERT
I’m not a big dessert guy, never have been, but I do love a light, Graham Cracker crusted Key Lime Pie with a generous dollop of Whipped Cream up top.
Note 2: The best Key Lime Pie I ever had was, of course, in Key West and was made at Kelly’s Caribbean Bar, Grill and Brewery. The place has since closed but Kelly, the owner, was Kelly McGillis of Top Gun and Witness fame. Very nice lady.
So there ya go. My last meal. Even now I’m second guessing my choices. How could I leave out Mac & Cheese? Cajun Crawfish? Gator with a Spicy Red Piquante Sauce? Crab Cakes? Spicy Tuna Bites? For the love of God, Grilled Pepper Jack Cheese with Jalapeños? Damn it . . .
PS- To be honest I’m not really sure I’d be hungry if I knew I was about to receive a lethal injection. I mean, would you really be interested in a hearty meal at that point?
We all heard ’em while growing up. Old Wives’ Tales. Some are so embedded in the fabric of our lives they’re nearly impossible to remove. Without further ado, let’s take a look at 15 of the most popular ones and I’ll promptly debunk them. I’ll start with an Old Wives’ Tale (OWT), followed by the truth. Sorry in advance old wives, but you are about to be debunked.
OWT
You can catch a cold by going outside in cold weather without a coat or with wet hair.
TRUTH
You catch a cold through exposure to bacteria or viruses, not by actually getting cold. It’s just that viruses survive better in colder temperatures.
OWT
Reading in dim light hurts your eyes.
TRUTH
Reading in a darkly lit room might give your eyes some dryness or fatigue, but it won’t cause any serious or long-term damage. Chillax.
OWT
Humans only use 10% of their brains.
TRUTH
In reality, the entire human brain is constantly active—even when we are sleeping. That said, I had a kid in class we called Cheese Cracker who I’m pretty sure only used about 7% of his brain.
OWT
Humans eat an average of 8 spiders a year while sleeping.
TRUTH
Scientists say it highly unlikely that a spider would ever end up in your mouth. Spiders tend to be found either tending their webs or hunting in nonhuman-infested areas. They usually don’t intentionally crawl into a bed because it offers no prey. Why in the world would they enter your mouth? Spiders ain’t dumb. Everybody settle down.
OWT
You should pee on a jellyfish sting.
TRUTH
Uh, that doesn’t work, but this does – first, remove the tentacles (that’s what’s hurting you so much) with something other than your fingers unless you want get stung again. Next, pour something acidic, like vinegar, lemon juice, or battery acid, on the sting. Finally, use a flat object like a butter knife to scrape off the stinging cells. Do that and you have treated your jellyfish sting, all without having Uncle Roger pee on you.
PS- I was joking about the battery acid. Don’t do that.
OWT
Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritus.
TRUTH
Scientists have never actually found a link between knuckle cracking and arthritis. Still, it’s annoying as hell so stop. Also stop popping your gum. And chewing with your mouth open. I’ll stop now.
OWT
Eating too much turkey makes you sleepy.
TRUTH
While meat does contain an amino acid that helps to create melatonin, a brain chemical known for making people tired, turkey does not actually cause more fatigue than other foods. We’re actually tired because of the large quantities of carbohydrates and alcohol that a lot of us consume on Thanksgiving. What I’m saying is that Uncle Ned is in the recliner sleeping because he’s drunk.
OWT
Sitting too close to the television will harm your eyes.
TRUTH
This one stems from the fact that General Electric produced color TVs back in the 1960s that emitted up to 100,000 times more radiation than federal health officials considered to be safe—and while the television sets were recalled almost immediately, the Old Wives’ Tale hangs around (even with our new TV technology and whatnot).
PS- I’m not expert but 100,000 times more radiation does seem a tad high.
OWT
You shouldn’t swim for 30-minutes after eating.
TRUTH
This Old Wives’ Tale assumes that after eating the body diverts blood from your limbs to the digestive tract, thus depleting your arms and legs of enough blood to swim. While it is true that digestion requires extra blood, the body does not drain the limbs of enough blood to work properly. Bottom line, you might get a small cramp. Deal with it.
PS- I fondly remember swimming at the Mead Pool. It was amazing. I also fondly remember a girl about my age named Tammy that swam there. I had a remendous crush on her and would immediately look for her upon our arrival. I long for a simpler time.
OWT
Bulls hate the color red.
TRUTH
Yes!
People believe this because the bull charges at that thing the matador waves around, called a muleta. Actually, bulls are color blind. They’re agitated by the motion of the muleta, not its color. On a related note, I hate bullfighting. I always root for a good old fashioned goring. Leave the damn bull alone.
OWT
The 5-second rule.
TRUTH
This Old Wives’ Tale infers that if you drop food on the floor and snatch it up within 5-seconds it wasn’t on the floor/ground long enough to gather germs. Nobody really believes athat anymore, right? We say that jokingly, right? Right?
PS- This Old Wives’ Tale is sometimes known as the 3-second rule. Or in my case the 3-minute rule.
OWT
It takes 7-years to digest a piece of gum.
TRUTH
Negatory. The truth is gum doesn’t digest at all. It travels through your digestive tract and then, you know. On a related note, who swallows their gum?
OWT
To cure a hangover, just have a little “hair of the dog.” In other words have a drink.
TRUTH
Seems sort of obvious but you can’t drink your way out of a hangover, although many have tried. Der. I have seen people do it simply to stay drunk though.
OWT
Eating chocolate will give you acne.
TRUTH
I heard this one a lot whilst growing up. It is true that a high fat or high sugar diet can exacerbate acne and sugary stuff can often cause hormone fluctuations, which can increase acne. However, there is no evidence that eating normal amounts of chocolate directly triggers acne. In reality dark chocolate actually promotes numerous health benefits. Snack away kids!
OWT
Rubbing whiskey on you baby’s gums will ease teething pain.
TRUTH
Actually, experts recommend using natural remedies, such as massaging a warm washcloth on your baby’s gums.
PS- My grandma actually did this and by God I swear it worked. Then again, maybe it just got the baby drunk so it quit crying.
Is shock and astound too strong a choice of words? Perhaps, but I had to get your attention somehow. Anywho, you be the judge. Read on . . .
When you dream, one portion of your brain creates the story, while another part witnesses the events and is really shocked by the plot twists.
The time period in which dinosaurs lived is so vast, there were dinosaur fossils when dinosaurs were still alive.
Hippos sweat sunscreen. They produce “sweat” made of one red and one orange pigment. The red pigment contains an antibiotic, while the orange absorbs UV rays. Nature, man.
Trees can communicate and cooperate using a network of underground mycelium. They can store excess energy in it for later use, can trade different nutrients with neighbors so their needs are met, take care of their young when they’re unwell, and even warn others of a spreading disease or parasite.
Scientists know virtually nothing about dark matter and dark energy, which make up about 95% of the universe. So, we basically know nothing about the stuff that makes up 95% of our reality.
Whales will grow up singing a specific song based on where they were born, but they’ll learn verses of other songs from whales they encounter throughout their lives.
If the entirety of the Earth’s history were compressed down to a single day, humans of any sort wouldn’t appear until the last second before midnight.
If some sort of super-advanced alien species on a planet 80 million light years away from Earth built a high-tech telescope that let them see objects on the Earth’s surface, they would be seeing dinosaurs right now. Also, looking up into the sky in the country (with less light pollution) is essentially looking tens, hundreds, thousands of years into the past.
Sharks are older than trees.
If you put one of every animal in existence in a bag and then pick one out you have a 1/5 chance of picking a beetle.
Cleopatra lived closer to the moon landing than the building of the great pyramids.
When the pyramids were built, there were still some Woolly Mammoths roaming the earth.
Approximately 99.85% of all the mass in the solar system is concentrated in the sun. That is why it is able to hold together all the planets in their orbits.
A teratoma is a tumor that can grow hair, teeth and eyes. Note: Do NOT Google this. I’m serious.
Your head can live for up to 15-seconds without your body. Because of this, heads lopped off by the guillotine would often look around frantically as they lay in the basket.
You can’t fold a piece of paper more than seven times.
The average cloud weighs about 1 million pounds. It just floats because it is less dense than the air below it.
The acid in the human stomach is more than sufficient to dissolve a razor blade after a couple of hours. Do not try this, kids.
Rats laugh when you tickle them.
Honey never goes bad. Jars of honey that are more than 5,000 years old are shockingly still safe to eat.
Done? Ok, what follows are iconic foods from cities across the US of A. I’ve had some of them, some I have not. Perhaps a road trip is on order, who knows? Read on readers . . .
Deep Dish Pizza – Chicago, IL
New Yorkers and Chicagoans like to bicker on over which city has the better pizza, but they don’t have Jerry’s of Fredneck’s, now do they? Anywho, Chicago has its famous deep-dish pizza with crusts up to 3-inches tall. It was invented at Pizzeria Uno in 1943 and has been helping to quell hunger pangs for over 70-years. Full disclosure – I’ve had Pizzaria Uno’s pies and I’m not a fan. Give me some thin crispiness, man.
Tacos – Austin, TX
Tacos have long been a staple of Mexican cuisine, and thanks to their proximity to the border these tasty delights made their way north to Texas in a big way. But Austin’s taco craze is fueled by more than just the food itself – food trucks have become a way of life there, servicing students, tourists and the late-late-night dining crowd. And hey – if you thought food truck chow couldn’t compete with normal restaurant fare, try an Austin taco. Delicious.
Crab Cakes – Baltimore, MD/Washington D.C.
You may have had crab cakes before. You may love crab cakes. But if you haven’t had Maryland crab cakes you haven’t really had crab cakes. Crab has been a staple food of the Baltimore/DC area forever. When I was the commissioner at the University of Maryland’s basketball camps I had many a crab cake and they were amazing.
Chile Rellenos – Albuquerque, NM
I’d never heard of a Chile Relleno until today, but dang they sound tasty. They’re a traditional Mexican dish, but it has taken on a whole new level of popularity in Albuquerque. They’re basically roasted poblano peppers served with Monterey Jack cheese and green or red chile sauce. Yowza.
Pork Rolls – Trenton, NJ
Pork Rolls were developed in 1856 by Trenton’s own John Taylor, and they’re basically stacks of minced ham with which you can’t go wrong. They’ve become popular all over North America, but only in Trenton will you find them served morning, noon and night, eaten as snacks, served at diners or restaurants or truck stops. Trenton loves them some pork rolls, man.
The Half-Smoke – Washington, D.C.
Famous in Washington, the half-smoke might appear, to the untrained eye to be a simple hot dog. But noooooo. Instead, it’s a half-pork, half-beef jumbo dog, smoked to perfection and served with herbs, onions and chili sauce. I had one of these at a DC food truck and I must say it was really good.
Cheesesteak – Philadelphia, PA
Few foodies doubt that the cheesesteak had its roots in Philadelphia nearly 100-years ago. The ingredients aren’t that impressive – cheese, sliced steak and bread will do just fine – but the taste is great if you find an authentic sandwich shop willing to take the time to actually cook the meat rather than just reheat it. That said, I’ve had Philly Cheesesteaks and they taste no different than cheesesteaks I’ve eaten in Columbus, Ohio, Naples, Florida or Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina. I said what I said.
Hot Browns – Louisville, KY
Hot Bowns are an open-faced sandwich made with turkey and bacon. They were invented in Louisville nearly 100 years ago, where it was first conceived as an alternative to late-night ham-and-egg suppers. It’s usually spiced up with tomatoes, mushroom slices and even canned peaches, but they say if you’re looking for authenticity, order it with Mornay sauce, parmesan cheese, pimento and bacon strips. At least that what I read. I’ve never tried them.
The Juicy Lucy — Minneapolis, MN
Cool name, amirite? So two competing burger joints in Minneapolis both lay claim to this one, and they are so divided that they can’t even agree on how it should be spelled. But take one bite and you’ll be thankful for whichever mad genius first decided to put a slice of cheese inside a meat patty (instead of on top), resulting in meat with a melted cheese core. Your taste buds will thank you, even if your arteries will try to murder you. Had one a few years back, and it tastes exactly as you’d think it would – like a cheeseburger.
New EnglandClam Chowder – Boston, MA
There are many variants on clam chowder, but none more famous than Boston clam chowder, made with potatoes, onions and clams, and served at a thicker consistency than other chowders. I love it, and one of the coolest things that ever happened to me involved Boston and their famous clam chowder. I was in Boston with my basketball team from the island of Montserrat in the British West Indies. We were there for the Bob Cousy Tournament (which is another story unto itself that you can read about by clicking here). Anyway, the day before the tournament was to start I was walking around Boston checking out the city. I had a serious hankerin’ for some authentic Boston Clam Chowder, so when I saw some firefighters chilling outside their station I figured they’d be the best people to ask where I could find some. After I asked, they all chuckled and said, “Boy did you come on the right day. Walk up this street and take a right and you’ll see why.” I did, and what I found was the Boston Chowderfest, a yearly festival where chowder from all over Boston is entered. People pay a couple bucks to get in, sample chowders aplenty, rate them, and the winner can claim in all their advertising that they’re “Boston’s Best Chowder.” Jackpot! That was a great day my friends.
Toasted Ravioli – St. Louis, MO
Although it’s quite possible that toasted ravioli has its roots in Sicily, it is most popularly believed to have been invented on “The Hill,” an Italian neighborhood in St. Louis. Who knew? The crack staff here at Shoe: Untied did. Toasted Ravioli is generally served with marinara sauce and cheese sprinkled lightly on top, and may or may not contain meat. That said, if you eat it without meat you’re a barbarian.
72-Ounce Steak – Amarillo, TX
Good God.
It’s no secret that Texans love their steak, but it takes a special person to polish off the famous 72-ounce sirloin monster served up in some of Amarillo’s most famous steakhouses. Kids, I’m no math major but I believe that’s 4 1/2 pounds of cow. Good Lord almighty. Note: I’ve never devoured a 72-Ounce steak but I once had 17 White Castle sliders after a night out on High Street off Ohio State’s campus, so there.
Po’boys – New Orleans, LA
New Orleans is known for many exotic foods, but the Po’boy sandwich is surely the most widely recognized and most loved. Served on a French bread (often a baguette) with meat (crab or roast beef are the most popular), it’s been a staple of the Big Easy’s culinary palette since 1929, when the Martin brothers, Benny and Clovis, opened a sandwich shop to cater to striking streetcar workers, who were referred to as “poor boys” and took a liking to this style of sandwich. Note: I’d planned a trip to New Orleans in 2005 and part of the trip included a trip to the Parkway Bar and Tavern, thought by many to have the best Po’ Boys in the world. Sadly, Hurricane Katrina hit and my plans went to hell.Note 2: Chilli Pepper’s Coastal Grill in Kill Devil Hills serves a killer Oyster Po’ Boy.
The Garbage Plate – Rochester, NY
The earliest version of the famous dish back to 1918, when it was called “Hots and Potatoes.” It’s basically a plate piled high with beans, potatoes, hot dogs, onions, mustard and chili. The resulting dish looks about as appetizing as a plate full of garbage, hence the name, but it’s said to be a surprisingly delicious meal.
Bagels – New York City, NY
The Big Apple is also known for its freshly baked bagels. The best have a crisp crust and chewy center, and the tastiest I’ve ever had came from NYC street vendors. Most have lox, and capers and onions, and they say you should never, ever toast them.
Buffalo Wings – Buffalo, NY
Gee, ya think? Buffalo style wings were invented at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, New York in 1964. The signature sauce combined ingredients like butter, vinegar and hot sauce, and a legend was born.
Cuban Sandwich – Miami, FL
Thanks to Cuban immigrants this spicy concoction of tasty goodness has been a staple in Miami and across the state of Florida for years. Have a taste and you’ll know why. It’s made by combining layers of roasted ham, pork, salami, as well as Swiss cheese, pickles and mustard that are tucked inside a pressed bun. Folks love it so much the Cuban was declared the official sandwich of Florida.
Key Lime Pie – Key West, FL
Floridians make the most of the local Key limes in this creamy custard and meringue pie. What’s the difference between a Key lime and a regular lime, you ask? Key limes are smaller in size and contain more citrus juice than their counterpart. A Key lime is also much more flavorful, adding an extra zing. Boom! Although it’s closed now, Kelly’s (owned by actress Kelly McGillis of Top Gun fame) in Key West had the best Key Lime Pie I’d ever tasted. Yum.
Banana Split – LaTrobe, PA
The banana split was invented in the city of Latrobe, Pennsylvania, in 1904, by an apprentice pharmacist challenged by a friend to invent a new food. See kids, pharmacies used to have soda fountains typically consisting of a counter lined with barstools. Cool as hell, man. Anywho, bananas had recently been imported to the United States for the first time, so the pharmacist (and soon to be inventor) took three different flavors of ice cream and three different flavors of sauce, whipped cream, a banana, and topped it with a cherry. The banana split would go on to become an icon of Americana.
Gumbo – New Orleans, LA
Oh, man. Gumbo. Love it. Louisiana natives pride themselves on this classic comfort food. The sausage or seafood stew can be made Cajun or Creole style. And here’s the secret – Creole-style gumbos use tomatoes! Best I’ve had, however, is the Crawdad Creole Gumbo at Tortugas Lie, a Caribbean style joint in Nag’s Head, NC.
Potato Chips – Saratoga Springs, NY
A complaining guest is responsible for one of the most classic American snacks – the humble potato chip. In 1853, a guest at the Moon Lake Lodge sent his french fries back, claiming they were too thick. The insulted chef sent back a version he was sure the customer couldn’t call too thin, the dude loved them, and a staple of American snack cabinets was born.
Chili – Cincinnati, OH
Of course. Skyline Chili baby! What makes Cincinnati chili so special is the unusual blend of spices added to classic chili, including cinnamon, chocolate, allspice, and Worcestershire. A Macedonian immigrant invented the dish in the 1920s, and his Greek restaurant, which was doing poorly, turned around when he began offering chili with unconventional spices. The chili is typically enjoyed on pasta and absolutely loaded with toppings. Is it for everyone? It is not. But it is for I.
Hot Chicken – Nashville, TN
Hot chicken originated in Nashville in the early 20th century, when the wife of a famous Nashville womanizer named Thornton Prince tried to get her revenge on him for keeping her waiting up at night by fixing him a fried chicken dish so hot it would make him ill. Her plan backfired and Prince loved the meal, which is still beloved today for its integration of cayenne, hot sauce, chili powder, and more into fried chicken. Being a guy that loves hot, spicy food, Hot Chicken is heaven for me.
Ribs – Kansas City, MS
As a hot-spot for barbecue, you’d be amiss to travel through Kansas City without trying their smoky-sweet ribs. It is said the city’s barbecue style is unique because it uses a thick tomato-based sauce that’s both spicy and sweet, often incorporating molasses and brown sugar. Damn I’m hungry.
Fried Cheese Curds – Milwaukee, WS
Oh, do I love me some cheese curds, and nothing beats melty, deep-fried cheese curds made from real Wisconsin cheese. Fun Fact: Prior to frying, you can tell if a cheese curd is fresh by its characteristic squeak. I had my beloved curds during a trip to the 2001 Final Four in Minneapolis as I trekked through Wisky. Tasteeeeeeee!
Avocado Toast – Los Angeles, CA
Nope.
Avocado Toast is so California it hurts. California chefs are known for creating artistic designs, such as roses, out of avocado on this toast because of course they do. On a related note, get this Left Coast garbage out of here.
Chicken & Waffles – New York, NY or The South
Hotly debated food here. Was it invented in Harlem in the 1930s at a restaurant named the Wells Supper Club? Some say it was because Chicken & Waffles were on the menu at this restaurant way back during the jazz era of music. However, after exhaustive research by my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied we have reached the conclusion that it began with enslaved Africans mixing rice flour batter and cooking it to create golden-edged waffles, dabbing on spoonfuls of blackberry preserves, frying up some chicken and going to town on the delicious concoction. We stand by our conclusion.
California Burrito – San Diego, CA
The California-style burrito originated in San Diego in the 80s. It’s stuffed to near-bursting with juicy meat, cheese, sour cream and sometimes even potatoes. I prefer to forgo the taters but that’s just me.
Salmon – Seattle, WA
The Emerald City is famous for their fresh fish, especially salmon. Factoid: The life cycle of the salmon is even taught in local elementary schools. A friend of mine says to check out the Pike Place Fish Market for their daily catch. By the way, if you don’t consume your salmon crusted with parmesan cheese you’re a damn fool.
Chimichangas – Tuscon, AZ
Chimichangas are deep-fried burritos filled with rice, cheese, and meat, then topped with sour cream and guacamole. They are said to have emerged from the kitchen of Tucson’s historic El Charro Cafe. In the 1920s, the cafe’s owner is said to have been upset when her cooking staff accidentally flipped a burrito in a deep fryer, but because young children were in the kitchen at the time, she reportedly changed her curse word to ‘chimichanga.’ And just like that, a beloved Tex-Mex classic was born. My first chimichanga was at a place called Chi-Chi’s in Columbus, Ohio in 1980 and my last was at El Tepeyak in San Bernardino, California in 2018. You can probably guess which one was better.
Chocolate Chip Cookie – Whitman, MA
Chocolate chip cookies are seen as one of the most quintessential American foods, which makes it surprising that the delicious dessert has only been around since the 1930s. Shocking really. What happened was the owner of a bed-and-breakfast called Toll House Inn was out of baker’s chocolate she needed to make a chocolate cookie, so she chopped up semi-sweet chocolate instead, intending it to melt in the oven. It didn’t, and one of the world’s most beloved desserts was born.
Salt Water Taffy – Atlantic City, NJ
Soft taffy candy was invented in Atlantic City way back in the 1880s and is still strongly identified with that city’s Boardwalk. Shockingly, it contains no salt water and may have gotten its name after a stock of the taffy was inundated during a storm in 1883. Somebody ate it, thought the sea water added flavor (it did not) and dumbly named it salt water taffy.
So there ya go. What did we miss? Do you disagree with any of our choices? How many of these have you tried? Let us know. In the meantime, I’m going to go grab a bite to eat.
I shall now present you with 19 controversial food queries, and I’d like you to answer honestly and with the rock-solid integrity I know you all possess. Let’s get right to it . . .
The Orlando Sentinel-Floridians have waited decades for White Castle to come to the state. Compared to that, standing in line overnight for a pack of sliders is nothing. That’s exactly what many Orlandoans did, lining up outside their new White Castle ahead of its grand opening on May 3. Lines stretched around the building and the drive-thru wait became a matter of miles.
Who’s hungry?
Even with the considerable space inside the 4,000+ square foot restaurant, photos from opening day made the fast food chain look mobbed, and that was merely the scene inside the building. Anticipating demand, White Castle set up tents and cordons to contain the line that promised an hours-long wait. To get a jump on their Crave cases, several people began lining up the night before.
Not gonna lie. If I lived in Florida and hadn’t had a few tasty Jalapeno Burgers with Pepperjack Cheese in my life I’d be right there in line with ’em. Can’t put a price on an Ohio Slider,* man. Oh, and you have to have a side of Fish Nibblers too. That’s tasty goodness right there.
Anyway, welcome to Craver Nation, Orlando. Enjoy.
*I know, it was founded in Witchita, Kansas but it’s headquarters is in Columbus so shut it.
PS- My late buddy Andy Anderson lived in Venice and oh how he loved him some White Castle. It’s a shame they didn’t arrive a few years earlier.
PPS- The record for number of sliders consumed by my friends is 23 by the great Rick Allen at the Ludlow Avenue location in The Natti. I believe it was around 3:30am after an evening of revelry. Legendary.
I don’t even know where to start with this monster. I mean, it’s obviously the biggest sandwich Arby’s has ever sold. It’s stacked ridiculously high with almost all the meatsArby’s uses. It contains two chicken tenders, slices of roast turkey, pit-smoked ham, corned beef, 13-hour smoked brisket, USDA-choice Angus steak, roast beef, and pepper bacon. There’s also cheddar cheese, swiss cheese, and an actual piglet somewhere in there. Ok, no piglet but Holy Mother of God. It also has 1,250 calories, which is about 1,000 lower that I thought it would have. Anywho, check out that bad boy.
[To view more awesome foods, type “behold” in the search box on the left]
Actually I needed it years ago. Imagine having this baby on your bedside table. I’d probably just put my mouth right under it and skip the middle man. And yes, kids, this is real.
PS- By middle man I mean the bowl. The bowl is the middle man.
[Type “behold” into the S:U search box to find more great recipes]
INGREDIENTS
3ouncescream cheesesoftened
1/4cupfresh or canned jalapenosdiced
24cocktail sausagessometimes called lil’ smokies
18 ounce package Pillsbury refrigerated crescent roll dough
INSTRUCTIONS
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and spray a cooking sheet lightly with cooking spray.
In a food processor, blend the cream cheese and jalapenos until smooth. If you don’t have a food processor just dice the jalapenos as fine as you can and blend.
Unroll the crescent rolls and cut each triangle into 3 small pieces. I found it easiest to chop off the pointy end of the triangle for one section and then split the remaining section into two sections.
Slightly press the crescent roll with your hand to flatten and spread about 2 teaspoons of cream cheese mixture on the roll. Add your cocktail sausage on top of the cream cheese and roll up. Place on the cooking sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes or golden brown.
Ritchie’s Backyard Barbeque is located in Piketon, Ohio, and received nearly 50% of the votes for best wings! The Dock at Water finished a distance second. Congrats to Ritchie’s Backyard Barbeque!
We have completed two polls thus far, with FredNeck’s winning for Best Pizza and Beast and Bottle winning for Best Burger. Next up, Best Wings. Whatcha got?
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