Common Core Math: Anybody care to explain why it’s a better way?

So I was subbing in 3rd Grade a couple weeks ago and the subject was Math. The teacher left some instructions for me which I barely glanced at because really, how difficult could 3rd Grade Math be? C’mon man, you’re talking to a guy with a Masters Degree in Education here. Directions be damned! Bring it on.

So the kids rolled in, I told them what we’d be doing, and I fired up the smart board to take a look at the assignment.

Ruh-roh. What the hell was this? Seems a bit has changed since I was a kid, or even since I taught Math back in the 90’s. Oh, and by a bit I mean completely. I quickly found that Common Core Mathematics is a whole different animal than what I learned and even taught back in the day.

Before I really piss you off, you need to understand that the powers-that-be have decided that changing the language would be a good idea. Nowadays, a “word problem” is a “math situation“, “carry the one” is now “regroup ten ones as a ten” (seriously), “borrow” is now “take a ten and regroup it as ten ones” (not even kidding), “add” is now “increase“, “subtract” is now “decrease“, instead of “more than/fewer than” we say “compare“, and “how do you know” has been replaced by “evidence.”

I know, I don’t understand it either.

But that’s just the beginning. Check out how kids are now taught to do multiplication:

Da hell? Aren’t they making things a little more, you know, difficult? No? Take a look at the “old fashioned” way of doing subtraction with the “new way” and get back with me.

Again, isn’t it like taking the long way to town when you can just head straight on in on one road? Read the instructions below and try and keep your head from exploding.

Below is another example of Common Core Math. Awesome, ain’t it?

And check this out. Seems to me if an adult can’t understand the instructions we might be doing it wrong. In case you can’t read what it says, it says, “Use number bonds to help you skip-count by seven by making tens or adding to the ones.” Oh, for the love of God. Just shut it.

And take a gander at the worksheet below and explain what they want us to do. Got it? Great. You’re a better man/woman than I.

Below you shall find my favorite Common Core Math problem using “front-end estimation.” According to this the estimated sum of 354+291 is 500. Have I lost my mind over here? Can you now see why I was a tad flummoxed, flustered, befuddled, and confused? I can’t imagine how a 9-year old must feel.

Listen, I know some modern Math nerd is going to message me trying to explain why this new Common Core math is better than the “old fashioned” way all us ignorant losers were taught back in the Dark Ages. I also know that many teachers will embrace these methods because, well, they’re being told to. My response? Don’t bother, because to me it’ll never add up.*

*See what I did there?

Aside from basically changing how Math was taught as we all knew it, there’s another problem with the Common Core methods – parents can’t help their kids with their homework. Those days of sitting at the kitchen table as dad or mom patiently explained how to multiply, divide, add and subtract are pretty much gone, are they not? And that’s sort of sad.

Before I go, take a gander at this video of a teacher adding 9 + 6 using the Common Core method. Hint: It takes her a minute. I’m not kidding.

True dat. But honestly, if somebody can explain why this is a better way of educating our kids I’d love to hear it. I’ve read a ton of explanations online and none have convinced me yet. Anybody?