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Just an insanely complex system. Nature, man.


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Great cover of a great Byrds song, originally written by Bob Dylan.

Dogs can smell their owners from up to 11-miles away.

 

Seriously, I had no idea there were so many cool offshoots from the anteater family. Sweet beans, man. Check it out.

If you’re one of those blind, cynical bastards who can’t see that these elephants are saluting the humans that saved their baby you can go straight to hell. Clearly they’re giving thanks to the people who saved that little elephant. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times – years from now we’re going to finally understand the intelligence of animals and we’re going to shake our head at how we once treated them. Animals, man. God bless ’em.

So Russia is celebrating the start of the World Cup and everyone is all giddy and whatnot. As part of the festivities some Russian bros brought their bear along for the fun, and here he is playing a vuvuzela and giving the “up yours” forearm jerk sign to innocent passerby. On a related note, that bear is going to maul the living hell out of those dudes soon.

Note: Whilst researching the “up yours” sign, I found that it is indeed called the “forearm jerk” overseas. I also found out that there are about 20 innocent gestures we make here in the USA that have totally different meanings outside our country. Stay tuned for the upcoming riveting blog.

Note 2: When the mauling commences those assheads will totally deserve it.

Well played, as always.

So good.

Love it.

Someone needs to check on that Corgi.

 

An adult gray whale in the summer eats approximately 2,400 pounds of food a day. It swallows at least 67-77 tons of food during a four to six month feast on the Arctic feeding grounds.

 

You know this whale is just messing around with these people, right? Probably just said to his whale buddies, “Watch this. I’m going to splash the hell out of these tourists. Hold my plankton.” Whales, man.

Note: One of the things whales eat is plankton. I looked it up. They also eat crabs and squids and stuff but plankton seemed funnier. 

Finally, we can all take a deep breath and relax. Our long national nightmare is over. The nuclear threat from North Korea has been neutralized thanks to the efforts of the Great Negotiator, the American Peacemaker, The National Voice of Reason. Yes ladies and gentlemen, God bless America and God bless Dennis Rodman. Now let’s all sit back and watch Trump try and take the credit.

PS- Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. Trump is the leader of the free world and Dennis “The Worm” Rodman is at the center of achieving peace with North Korea. America, man.

Instant classic.

A bison gored a woman in Yellowstone National Park on Wednesday, marking the third time in a week that park animals attacked humans, according to the Associated Press.

Officials said that the woman, 59-year-old Kim Hancock of Santa Rosa, California, was in a crowd of people that got within 15-feet of a bison while they were walking along a boardwalk, according to a National Park Service news release. Rangers advise staying at least 25-yards away from animals like bison and elk, the park said.

Ah, nothing like a good “goring of a moron” story to start the week, amirite? Hey, there’s an 1,800 pound animal with horns! Let’s get all up in its face and stuff! Good God. At least they didn’t put the animal down though, because Kim Hancock is the one who should be put down. Not sayin’ just sayin’.

PS- Third time in a week sounds like a really good average. Keep it up, bison.

As if we needed more proof that our country is becoming dumber:

A recent study showed that 7% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

Good stuff.

Love this video. One minute this dude is showing off for the crowd, slapping the gator, stepping on its snout, acting all badass, the next minute the gator is head-butting him into oblivion. On a related note, I’m pretty sure that guy’s sunglasses landed in the next county over. Good stuff.

Military deaths in World War II.

 

Interesting.

Disrespectful idiots on motorcycles and bicycles deserve what they get. Satisfying video.

Between Two Ferns was an absolute classic. Before we watch the videos, let me tell you some of my favorite insults from Zach to his guests:

To Justin Bieber: “When you’re in the recording studio do you ever think, ‘Hey, what if I don’t make something shitty?’ ”

To Bruce Willis: “Did you know that some actors turn down roles?”

To Ben Stiller: “Do you ever wish you had followed your parents into comedy?”

Too funny, man. But let’s get to the videos. Let’s begin with Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter. You shall laugh out loud:

Next up is Steve Carell. You shall weep uncontrollably:

And finally, Jimmy Kimmel. You shall wet yourself:

Yes, that is indeed a red, and also spiny, crab. Little dude has spines to protect it from the predators of the deep sea. They’re usually found in much deeper waters than the regular crabs, although occasionally some will pop up in regular crab traps. Anyhoo, Red Spiny Crab.

CCTV: A fearless dog has been caught on camera fighting off a leopard that tried to snatch its puppy from outside a building in India. The daring rescue was captured on CCTV from an Indian Forest Service office in the northern state of Himachal Pradesh. Footage shows the puppy sitting on a porch outside the office before the big cat pounces, trying to grab its prey and run. However, the mother reacts quickly to the situation, attacking the leopard and forcing it to retreat back into the forest.

Seriously, dogs are the best, right? That mother dog went after a killing machine 3-times her size and made of razor sharp claws and teeth without blinking an eye. Not today, leopard boy. Not today.

PS- Man, bad day for cats, huh? Leopard has to go back to the forest and tell his buddies a mother dog kicked his ass. That’s just embarrassing.

Apocalypse now in Russellville, Kentucky. Freaky, man.