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I like it.


For all you youngsters out there, what you are about to see may cause you wonderment, confusion and possibly even consternation. For you older folk, it will bring forth a feeling of nostalgia and a possible longing for a simpler time. What I’m talking about is automobiles and what isn’t in them anymore. Hey, it’s been a slow day. Let’s take a gander . . .


What you see below, kids, are what we called bench seats. None of this bucket seat bullshit. Since we never wore seatbelts Dad could take a hard left turn and we’d all go flying into the opposite door. Good times. On a related note, these seats came in handy when taking your girlfriend to the drive-in. I’ll stop right there.



Next we have something you never see anymore, something we called tailfins, and they were spectacular. A side bonus was the fact that you could back into an unsuspecting pedestrian and impale the hell out of his spleen. Seriously though, cars are boring these days compared to these beauties.



What you see below, kids, is something that was located on your car’s dashboard, and it was called an ashtray. That little knob on the left was a lighter. See, almost everybody smoked like a fiend back then so of course you needed a handy way to get your cancer stick fired up. We’ll get to all those little buttons and knobs above it shortly.



Seems like everyone drives an SUV these days, but back in the 60s and 70s everyone either drove a regular car or a truck. I had a luxurious Catalina Brougham, and that thing rode like a damn hovercraft. Anywho, most of the cars had enough trunk space to hold a Shetland pony, and I’m pretty sure my friend Cluck snuck 7-people into the Fiesta Drive-In in the trunk of his ’68 Chevy Impala once. Seriously, look at all that space. Now that I think of it, most cars don’t even come with a regular spare tire anymore. Sad really.



This next one is really gonna blow the minds of youngsters far and wide. That little doohickey you see below was on the floor of your car, to the left of the brake and gas pedal. What was it for, you ask? It was your headlight dimmer switch. Not even kidding. And it made a satisfying little click whenever you stepped on it to dim or brighten your headlights.



These were called vent windows and every car had them. You’d open them for a little fresh air, but mainly to flick your ashes out of so they wouldn’t fly back and burn your kid’s eyeballs out like they might if you tried flicking them out your regular window.



That thing you see on that steering wheel? It was called a horn ring. You simply pressed on it whenever you wanted to frighten a passing child on the sidewalk. On a related note, every car horn sounded like a damn tugboat horn. None of that beep-beep crap back in the day, man.



See that weird looking thing? Young folk, back in the barbaric days of yore people actually had to reach down and roll up their own damn windows. Gasp!

Thought: Why doesn’t every car still come with these as a backup? You know, when you’re automatic windows inevitably stop working?



Here’s something else you never see anymore – metal dashboards. None of that wussy padding for the Greatest Generation, man. Hey, if you’d gone to war against the Nazis a few sharp objects on your dashboard didn’t bother you a whole lot. Just sayin’.



Check it out! Kids, that’s what we called an 8-track tape player! See, you jammed the tape in there and it played the music of your favorite musical artist!

Note: Remember when the music would start dragging and you’d have to stick a matchbook or something under it to get it to play right? Sometimes I long for the old days.



Soon, my children, tapes and the tape player became obsolete and was replaced by cassettes and this little contraption, the cassette player. Sometimes the tape in the cassette would get all tangled up and you’d have to rewind it back up with a pencil. I’m serious. I included a photo below the cassette player pic. That’s what separates me from your average blogger right there, people. I go the extra mile.




What the hell is that, you ask? That, my friends, is an antenna. You could pull that thing down real far and let it whip back and lacerate your friend’s face, just for fun. Gas stations use to give out little antenna toppers that you could stick on the top of it, too. I once had a Union 76 ball that flew off and nearly killed an old lady behind me on the freeway. Fun!

PS – Photo of identical antenna topper included below!

PPS – It has been pointed out to me that some cars still have antennas. Really?

PPPS – Antennas gradually grew shorter and shorter until they disappeared into the windshield. Sad really.



Check it out, man. Rear facing seats! Andy Anderson and I rode all the way to Boulder, Colorado and back riding in the rear of a 1967 Buick Sport Wagon. It was sort of a weird vibe watching the world go by backwards like that, lemme tell ya. You never knew where you were until you were past it.



Finally, we have the dial radio. Yes, you could either set a station by pushing a button or just roll through the stations manually. Barbaric but effective.

Aaaaaand, that’s all I can think of. Knowing my loyal readers like I do, however, I’m sure somebody will quickly point out something obvious I missed and make me feel stupid. Thanks in advance!


The Beatles had a specific clause in their contract, even in 1964, that stipulated they would never play for a segregated audience.



And so it begins. Ski lifts murdering people left and right. Bodies flying everywhere. Next it’ll be escalators eating people alive and those moving sidewalks suddenly going 150 miles per hour and sending people into walls. I’m telling you there’s no stopping the machines once they’ve turned on us. It’s gonna be carnage. Pity the humans, man. Pity the humans.

Note: Be sure and watch both videos. They’re gold, Jerry. Gold.


So here we are. It’s 2018. Apparently everything has to be a big production now, amirite? I mean, we actually have something called Kindergarten Graduation. What, little Miles stayed within the lines when he colored that dragon? Aren’t you supposed to graduate kindergarten? Has anyone ever failed kindergarten? Yet we have a graduation? Why? And what are kindergartners graduating into? First grade?

Anyway, back in my day we had one graduation – when we graduated high school.

And I know, I sound like one of those “get off my lawn” guys lamenting about the good old days. To that I say deal with it, it’s my website. And hey, you are reading this, so there’s that.

But back to the point that everything has to be a big production nowadays, and how it differs from when I was in school. Let’s do this . . .

Today, there’s such a thing as a “promposal.” I’m being serious here, it’s a real thing. Let’s say a dude wants to ask a girl to the prom. Keep in mind it doesn’t have to be somebody he’s never dated, it can be his girlfriend of 7-years. Doesn’t matter. He still has to come up with a promposal to ask his girl to the prom, and it has to be spectacular, like a unicorn showing up with the invitation taped to its horn. OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but you do see a lot of stuff like this:

Please. You know how I asked Tonya Primer to the prom when I was in high school? Honestly I can’t remember but I’m guessing it happened when we were watching The Towering Inferno or something at The Fiesta drive-in theater:

“Hey, the prom is in a few weeks. You wanna go?”

“Sure. Hand me a slice of pizza.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my promposal, circa 1974.

Note: Kids also do this for Homecoming, the Christmas Dance and when going to Krispy Kreme for some Apple Fritters. OK, maybe I made that last part up.

And hey, what about the new “Gender Reveal Parties” that are all the rage? [Insert your own Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner joke here]. You can’t simply find out if your baby is a boy or a girl and tell your friends the next time you run into them, you have to throw a party and have the big reveal! Woot! It’s a boy! Or girl! Whatever. I actually read about one such party where the woman smashed a piñata and it exploded with pink confetti, revealing to all that the baby was a girl. I got chills typing that, except not really. Honestly, not only do I think these parties are dumb, I think that watching couples trying to out-cute each other with party ideas is the height of comedy. Seriously folks, not everyone is as excited as you are about every detail of your child’s life, let alone its pre-life. Just because it’s important to you doesn’t mean it’s important to everyone else. B-a-a-a-c-k it up a little.

Back when I was born I’m pretty sure I popped out, the doctor held me up, took a look, said, “Hey, it’s a boy!” and that was that. Mom then took me home, put me in a crib and went out to chop some wood or something. Hey, people were tougher back then.

Anyway, promposals and gender reveal parties? Not a fan.

PS- This is sort of hard to believe, but it wasn’t until the latter half of the 1980’s that women in the United States began routinely finding out the sex of their babies before birth. Seriously, I looked it up. That’s wild, man.



In the United States, 3% of the population own 50% of the civilian guns.


Great shot.


Here’s a short but pretty cool story about my father. Dad is 91 now and not in the best of health, but he’s a pretty amazing guy who’s lived a pretty amazing life all things considered. I plan to write a story about all that one day, but for now I thought I’d share a short story about something that happened when I was perhaps 5-years old.

Dad was a smoker back then, but most men were in those days. Just look at an old photo from back then and you’ll see a cigarette in almost everyone’s hand. Hell, doctors smoked in their office as they examined you. I’m dead serious.

There’s probably a bottle of booze in his drawer too.

The cigarette folks even advertised using doctors. Crazy but true, man.

You cannot make this stuff up. What can I say? People didn’t know. And it was a different time, in many ways better, in some ways most certainly not.

Bottom line, the link about cigarettes and lung cancer had been known for a decade or so, but was for the most part ignored. Hence, Dad the smoker.

Let me take you back to the winter of ’60 or ’61, maybe even ’59. I don’t really remember. I just recall it was winter because there was a fire in our fireplace. It was in the evening, and I climbed up on Dad’s lap as he sat by the fire burnin’ a Lucky Strike.

At one point I reached up and tried to grab his cigarette, because hey, I was a kid. I got my hand slapped, and it was then the following conversation took place:

Dad: “Hey, what are you doing? Stop it.”

Me: “I want to try it!”

Dad: “You can’t. You’re too young and besides, cigarettes are bad for you.”

Me: “Then why are you smoking one?” 

Really, that was all it took. Because at that point Dad paused, looked at the cigarette in his hand, and flipped it into the fireplace.

And he never smoked another cigarette in his life.

I asked him about this recently, and he too remembered that evening. He told me he just didn’t feel he could justify smoking while at the same time telling me how bad it was for you. So he quit to prove a point, on the spot, for himself but mainly for me.

And I’m glad he did.





Boom. Stay out of my territory.

Dogs develop “bite inhibition”, the ability to control the strength of  bite, as puppies after learning that too harsh of a bite will interrupt play.


Genius stuff up in here.

[Click and scroll, man.]



You know how when you buy something and you get all the parts mixed up? With this product the parts come packaged and in order.


That’s an elevator button. It’s far away so you won’t have to wait once you’re at the door.


Public bathroom door opener. No grabbing the nasty door handle.


To prevent that battle to keep light from coming in through the crack.


For those of us who flush with our foot in public toilets.


Hell yes I need this. I always get it wrong. Every. Time.


I’m sure there must be another one that says NO FREAKING WAY.


For your dog! Yes!


I’ve actually seen these. They tell you how many seconds are left until the light changes. GREAT idea.


Self-explanatory. Perfect.




Great water recycler. Love it.


Hard to run these lights.


So you can push your bike up or down the steps.


This has Sparky written all over it.


The mom and toddler swing. Cool.

What’s a greater health risk than obesity? Loneliness. Loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 50% while obesity increases the risk by only 30%.



That little bird is so cute I’ve included a bonus video in its honor. You’re welcome, little bird.


Everyone knows what a palindrome is, right? Words or sentences that read the same both forwards and backwards? Like Mom or Dad? Race car? Yeah, those. Anyway, I’ve always been fascinated by them, partly because they’re cool and partly because they’re almost always funny. Why? I have no idea. My brain is weird. Anyway, here are my 15 favorite palindromes along with my completely nonsensical comments on each. Enjoy. Or not. I don’t really give a damn. It’s not my fault my interests are vast and eclectic.

Step on no pets.

I simply cannot argue with that sentiment.

Eva, can I stab bats in a cave?

Legit question, amirite?

Dammit, I’m mad!

Huh. Even palindromes have foul mouths.

Sit on a potato pan, Otis.

And why would you ask Otis to . . . never mind. I don’t want to know.

A Santa lived as a devil at NASA.

That’s a terrifying proposition.

Madam In Eden, I’m Adam.

Biblical, man.

Was it a rat I saw?

Yep. That’s a rat alright.

Do geese see God?

I’m guessing no. Just a hunch.

A man, a plan, a canal. Panama.

This one actually makes the most sense.

Go hang a salami. I’m a lasagna hog.

Both sentences bring to mind great images, right?

Never odd or even.

Then what? Wait. Is zero neither odd nor even? I’m getting a headache.

Mr. Owl ate my metal worm.

Mr. Owl is destined for digestive problems.

Doc, note: I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.

Something about that last sentence that kills me. Love this one.

Tulsa night life: Filth, gin, a slut.

I’ve heard this is 100% accurate. Sorry, Tulsans.

A nut for a jar of tuna.

Sounds like an even trade.

Hey kids, since we’re educating you did you know a group called They Might Be Giants wrote a song about palindromes? Sure did. It contains palindromes! Here ’tis!


A teacher’s life is stressful, man. Also exhilarating. Hey, the highs outweigh the lows but sometimes you have to shake things up a little to keep it fresh, ya know? My students have many a story of my wacky antics. Anywho, check out these photos of some times when teachers went a little overboard. Classic stuff.

Apparently Jerry and Robby have been causing some problems.

This, my friends, is what the kids call a sick burn. Throwing shade if you will. Any way you look at it, I’m pretty sure this kid got an F-.

That’s a little petty. And by petty I mean awesome.

This will remind some of my students of something I did at Twin back in the early 90s.

They got Rick-Rolled!

This is actually a photo of the teacher taped to his window. Diabolical. Also genius.

What would you do?

People kept stealing calculators. It was the only appropriate response, really.

Just a brutal attack on the cesspool of morons at Virginia Western. On a related note, they totally deserved it.

I also had a skeleton in class. When you think about it, everyone has skeletons in class, they’re just covered in skin and stuff. I’ll shut up now.

Classic move by band director’s here. They must teach it at band college or something.

Hardcore teacher here. Dude does NOT bend.

Do not be late or you will suffer the wrath of Professor Schmedlap.

As seen on a teacher’s laptop. Pretty normal folders for most educators.

Bro, you missed the first class? You deserved this. Good luck with the Red Pandas.


Admit it, you’ve never heard of Aloha Wanderwell, and that’s a damn shame. Here’s why . . .

Aloha Wanderwell was born on October 13th, 1906 in Winnipeg, Manitoba, and would later become a United States citizen. Keep in mind that this was 14-years before women were allowed to vote, kids. Also, her birth name was Idris Welsh bit that was way to boring for our girl. Hence Aloha.

Anyway, she went on to become an internationalist, explorer, author, filmmaker, and aviatrix, because of course she did. While still a teenager, Aloha began her adventuring career when she met her traveling companion Walter “Cap” Wanderwell, in 1922. Walter was married at the time but that didn’t last long after the arrival of Aloha. They married in 1925 and had two children. As they continued to travel the world, Aloha performed on stage doing travel lectures while next to her a silent movie, “Car and Camera Around the World”, played. The Wanderwells recorded their world journeys on 35mm nitrate and 16mm film, which all reside in the vaults at The Academy Film Archives out in Hollyweird. You can find some of the stuff on YouTube, and it’s cool as hell.

But that’s not all. In 1930 and 1931, Aloha learned to fly a German seaplane named “Junker” that she would later land on an uncharted part of the Amazon River. After landing they set up camp at a ranch in a place called Cuiabá. They made several flights with the seaplane, once running out of fuel on the Paraguay River and becoming stranded. At this point Aloha lived among the Bororo people for 6-weeks. She even recorded and documented her time spent with them. Tough lady indeed.

In 1932, her husband Walt was shot and killed on his yacht in Long Beach, California, but authorities are 39% sure Aloha didn’t do it. Aloha later married another dude named Walter, this time with the last name Baker, and continued her travels. She ultimately visited over 80 countries and 6 continents while driving over 500,000 miles. She’s listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first woman to make that drive around the world. I presume she took a boat here and there, but with Aloha you never know.

So, let’s reiterate. Adventurer, around-the-world traveler, pilot, explorer, author, and film maker, all while the vast majority of women were staying at home, raising children and minding the house while their husband worked.

Quick note – You realize all of this was accomplished before Amelia Earhart, right? This was a woman way ahead of her time, folks.

Anyway, meet Aloha Wanderwell, forgotten American heroine. Amazing lady.



So I ran across a collection of photos that someone had taken of beautiful chickens. Stunning really. Not stunning that someone would photograph chickens, but stunningly beautiful. Since this is my site, I also have taken the liberty of naming each chicken, along with a totally fictional description of said chicken. You’re welcome.

PS- I’m pretty sure some of these chickens are roosters. Anywho, click on the chicken to see the captions.


Yep. Leela is crazy, man. Also adorable. Her owner posted some pics on Imgur along with some absolutely priceless comments so I had to share. I’ll show the photos, with his comments below them:

“She frequently sits like this as if it’s normal.”

“She ALWAYS lays on the floor like this. Doesn’t seem to have brain damage, but who can really tell?”

“Whenever I tell her she is weird she gives me the side-eye.”

“She absolutely hates the cold. This is the only way she’ll go outside when it’s under 30 degrees.”

“She simply cannot sleep unless you wedge her head and practically smother her.”

Leela is awesome, man. Arranging a play date with Sparky as we speak.

Note: I got some of this info from the folks over at Bored Panda.

On Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album, the music on most of the tracks was played by the band Toto.

Gus and Beemo.

Gus Kenworthy is an American freestyle skier from Colorado who recently made headlines not related to sports. Why? Because he rescued 91-dogs from a dog meat farm in South Korea while participating in the 2018 Winter Olympics.

You read that right. 91.

“This morning I had a heart-wrenching visit to one of the 17,000 dog farms here in South Korea,” he wrote on Instagram. “Across the country, there are 2.5 million dogs being raised for food in some of the most disturbing conditions imaginable. Yes, there is an argument to be made that eating dogs is a part of Korean culture. And, while don’t personally agree with it, I do agree that it’s not my place to impose western ideals on the people here. The way these animals are being treated, however, is completely inhumane and culture should never be a scapegoat for cruelty. Despite the beliefs of some, these dogs are no different from the ones we call pets back home.”

So, Gus decided to do something about it. “I adopted one of the pups, named her Beemo, and she’ll be coming to the US to live with me as soon as she’s through with her vaccinations in a short couple of weeks. I cannot wait to give her the best life possible!”

Gus arranged for 90 other dogs from the farm are taken from the facility to the United States and Canada for adoption with the help of Humane Society International.

Atta boy, Gus Kenworthy. Gold medals are great, but rescuing 91-dogs puts you on another level. You are a true American hero.


If these don’t make you smile you have no soul. Click on the first photo to scroll through the awesomeness.


So 76-year old George Clinton of Parliament-Funkadelic was interviewed by Rolling Stone, and man did this dude bring some things into perspective. He was asked about Cultural Appropriation, that is, whites doing “black music” and stuff. The question seemed a little dated to me anyway, but George responded with a great take:

I’d bite off the Beatles, or anybody else. It’s all one world, one planet and one groove. You’re supposed to learn from each other, blend from each other, and it moves around like that. You see that rocket ship leave yesterday? We can maybe leave this planet. We gonna be dealing with aliens. You think black and white gonna be a problem? Wait till you start running into mother***kers with three or four d**cks! Bug-eyed mother***kers! They could be ready to party, or they could be ready to eat us. We don’t know, but we’ve got to get over this shit of not getting along with each other.”

BOOM! I do not believe I’ve ever heard it stated better.

You know, George would make a great president. Too bad he’s in his 70’s and half crazy, nobody would ever vote for a guy like that. Wait . . .




Yeah, you read that right. Here’s the lowdown . . .

Many of you have heard of Adam Vinatieri, the great NFL kicker who won the Super Bowl for New England back in 2002. Vinatieri has gone on to a Hall of Fame career with not only New England but also the Indianapolis Colts. Anyway, were it not for a fateful decision by General George Custer, Adam would not only have missed making the NFL, he wouldn’t even exist.

You see, Felix Vinatieri was Adam’s great-great grandfather. He was a musician and composer and served as George Armstrong Custer’s bandmaster during the Civil War general’s Indian campaign. Custer loved music and he believed the band boosted his troops’ morale and that they were good entertainment on long trips.

In the spring of 1876, when Custer led the Seventh Cavalry out of Fort Abraham Lincoln into North Dakota and its eventual destruction at the hands of Crazy Horse and his Sioux warriors, Custer decided that his band would stay behind.

Nobody is sure why he made this decision, but one thing is certain – had Felix Vinatieri not remained at Fort Lincoln, there probably wouldn’t be any Vinatieris, no Adam, and perhaps no Patriots 2002 Super Bowl victory.

And that’s how General George Armstrong Custer helped the New England Patriots win a Super Bowl.