Football Players Disciplined After Putting Oreos Between Their Ass Cheeks and Running Across Field Naked

What can I say, some headlines just write themselves . . .

BYRON, Ill. — Ten football players at a Northern Illinois high school were suspended from the team for three games last month after they ran across the field naked with Oreo cookies wedged between their buttocks. The Rockford Register Star reports that the Byron High School players were suspended for indecent exposure after school administrators concluded they went on the “Oreo Run” at the school’s football field voluntarily and were not victims of hazing.

Well, isn’t this a crummy story. Listen, I couldn’t care less that a bunch of football players were involved in some homo-erotic team tradition. Hey, to each his own. What does bother me is that perfectly innocent Oreos were involved. Delicious Oreos are made to be eaten, not double-stuffed into a tight end. That’s abuse of a delicious snack treat, my friends.

PS- I heard one of the guys lost the filling in his ass. That’s unfortunate.

PPS- That “double stuffed into a tight end” line is what separates me from your ordinary bloggers, kids.