Sweet Mother of God! GIANT RATS!!!

GIANT RATS INVADING FLORIDA, WILL NOT DIE.

I am in no way horrified by this, except in every way.

 

Between 1999 and 2001, about eight giant Gambian pouched rats were let loose by a local exotic breeder. More than a decade later, despite multiple attempts to eradicate what Zoo Miami Communications Director Ron Magill calls “the largest true rat in the world,” the mutant critters just won’t go away.

 KeysNet.com reported this week that the Florida Wildlife Commission (FWC) had put up fliers on homes in the Grassy Key area alerting residents to be aware of the rodents, which usually weigh three to four pounds and run up to 30 (thirty!) inches in length.

After eradication efforts several years ago, the FWC believed the huge rats to be gone from South Florida as of 2010, spokeswoman Carli Segelson told New Times. But then cameras captured them reappearing in 2011.

No big deal, just 4-pound, 30-inch long rats running around Florida. Oh, and they’ve been trying to kill them since the early 2000’s but they WILL NOT DIE.  What’s to worry about? You know, except the fact that there are GIANT RATS RUNNING AROUND FLORIDA THAT WILL NOT DIE!!!

In all seriousness, I don’t mind rats, spiders, or most any other animal. But man, do I hate rats. If I came face-to-face with one of these atrocities I’d probably just fall over dead on the spot and they’d have me for dinner.

Damn rats.

Note: Is that font big enough up top? ‘Cause I was thinking bigger might be more appropriate.