Archive for the ‘Great Ideas’ Category

Not as innocent as it looks.

Not as innocent as it looks.

So I had a buddy back in college who was always coming up with new and innovative ideas. He’d do things like build a complete wall of bookshelves with plastic tubing and 2 x 6 boards, stuff like that. He’d also record his professor during class, then play it on a loop while he slept. He claimed the information became imbedded into his brain that way. Dude was weird but interesting.

Anyhoo, perhaps his most ingenious idea involved drinking while driving. Listen, I’m not endorsing nor condoning his behavior, I’m just illustrating how smart this dude was.

Here’s what he did. First he went and bought and installed a new windshield washer reservoir, the container under the car hood that holds the windshield washer fluid. He then bought new tubing that usually sent the fluid to the windshield, installed it, except he re-routed it down and through the dashboard’s air vents.

You see where this is heading, right?

Next, my friend filled the reservoir with the alcohol of his choice, held his cup up under tube sticking out of the air vent, pulled the lever as if he wanted to wash his car windows, and watched as his cup was filled with booze.

Legal, probably not. Genius? Oh hell yes.

PS- I repeat, I do not condone drinking and driving. It’s just an interesting story, so shut it.

PPS- Last I heard my buddy was in politics, because of course he was.

Volkswagen has revealed a new van concept to honor the iconic hippie Microbus. It looks straight out of a science fiction movie, and it’s fueled by electricity, has self-driving functions, and much more. The new VW Microbus is an 8-seat all-electric vehicle with a driving range up to 270-miles. This baby collects traffic data using its cameras, laser, ultrasonic, and radar sensors, as well as other witchcraft and techno badassness. It’s highly customizable and stores personal seat and air conditioning settings, sounds system configuration, ambient lighting, and more. Sadly, it’s still just a concept, damn it. Because I really want one. Take a look, and click the photo to enlarge:

Heavenly tasty goodness.

grilledcheese

funny-christmas-gifts-101-586107b990f0a__605

A guy told his grandma he wanted 100 things from the Dollar Store for Christmas. Grandma doesn’t like to be challenged.

funny-christmas-gifts-102-58610830621b2__605

Some dude bought this for his brother. Inside was a gift card.

funny-christmas-gifts-104-58611a19caaf3__605

Guess who was in charge of getting mom’s Christmas present this year? Rachel.

funny-christmas-gifts-22-5860fb296de82__605

Tina is 24 and doesn’t live with her parents. This is what they got her for Christmas.

funny-christmas-gifts-29-58610652b21ab__605

This guy got his dad a blanket with his picture on it because he always wanted to give someone a blanket with his picture on it.

funny-christmas-gifts-3-5860ee676f714__605

Seth is 27 and still living with his parents. This is what they got him for Christmas.

funny-christmas-gifts-34-5861148840735__605

Jackson wanted beats for Christmas. His parents delivered.

Oh yes. Please yes. This concoction combines Milka chocolate, sandwiched between that classic Oreo icing, with Oreo cookie goodness sitting smack dab in the middle. It’s like a backwards Oreo, and it looks spectacularly tastilicious.

oreo-created-a-candy-bar-and-now-nothing-else-matters-image-3

Brilliant!

are-you-serious-wtf-meme-baby-face

7-year-old Lainie Griffin from Muncie, Indiana, who dressed as “Exhausted Mom”. Well done Lainie. Well done indeed.

7-year-old-girl-exhausted-mom-halloween-costume-lainie-griffin-1

And only 8,000 calories!

giant-twix-bar-800x437

Scrumptious.

jamaican-jerk-chicken-tacos-14t

This thing would be great. You know, until you got hit by a truck.

podride

I’ve actually had these. Really good.

deep-fried-oreos-feat

It’s in Lidzbark Warminski, which is in northern Poland, but I’m sure you knew that. Anyhoo, cool.

glowing-blue-bike-lane-tpa-instytut-badan-technicznych-poland-2

glowing-blue-bike-lane-tpa-instytut-badan-technicznych-poland-4

glowing-blue-bike-lane-tpa-instytut-badan-technicznych-poland-3

glowing-blue-bike-lane-tpa-instytut-badan-technicznych-poland-6

Absolutely.

deepfriedlasagna

I ran across a bunch of these over at Bored Panda, a funky little website that posts quirky things like “The Most Beautiful Steps in the World” and “Dramatic Fairy Sculptures” and stuff like that. Anyway, I perused their “25 Inventions You Didn’t Know You Needed” and picked out my favorite seven to share with you, my loyal readers. I’ll add my thought-provoking comments and even add my grade for each. Wooot! Damn, I’m bored.

Let us begin . . .

useful-inventions-8-1

I like this one. See, the paper has a bunch of names and greetings, then you just circle the one that is appropriate. Then again, that’s sort of impersonal, isn’t it? Disregard. Grade: D-

useful-inventions-32

Not bad, but I could see myself getting toothpaste all over the mirror and throwing that thing in the trash in a few days. Grade: C-

useful-inventions-310

I like this idea for the average person who, you know, irons and stuff. I haven’t ironed anything since 1985. That’s what the unwrinkle cycle on the dryer is for, right? Still pretty cool though. Grade: A-

useful-inventions-11-1

How can this possibly work? I’d be spilling my beer, I mean coffee, all over the place. Dumb. Grade: F

useful-inventions-17-1

I like this one a lot. I see my friend Heather running by my house all the time sprinting as she pushed her kids in a stroller. Better watch out for potholes, though. Grade: A

useful-inventions-23

Not bad. Sparky would find it beneath him to use something so petlike though. Not horrible though. Grade: C+

useful-inventions-24

What’s so great about this? I’ve been using scissors to cut pizza for years. And that slice thingy would just complicate matters and get in the way. Dumb. Grade: D-

If you’ve read my acclaimed blog “Wait. We were promised Jet Packs!” you’d know that I have several ideas for inventions much better than these, including my Refridgerwave, the Car Hair Dryer, The Flashdark and Drinkable Mouthwash. Trust me, they’re all A+ inventions.

Now excuse me while I go work on my Wine Flavored Dental Floss.

Because why not?

hamdog

Just like the old days.

record phonespeaker

Naval Base Kitsap, a marine base 20-miles from Seattle, is home to the world’s dolphin1largest arsenal of nuclear weapons, and it’s defended by dolphins trained by the US Navy.

Nearly one-quarter of America’s 9,962 nuclear weapons are now assigned to the Bangor submarine base on Hood Canal.

Most of the weapons about which details are publicly known are equipped for launch via submarine, hence the seaside location.

And get this – the US Navy has used dolphins to defend the waters around the base since May 2010. Even wilder, they also train sea lions to detect possible swimmers who could be threats.

Yep, the Navy Marine Mammal Program at the Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command in San Diego, California currently trains 85-dolphins and 50-sea lions for service in the US Navy.

When a dolphin finds a swimmer, the animals swim back to their trainers, who give them a transponder to drop near the intruder.

But it gets even better.

The dolphins are also equipped with a bite plate that holds a shackle that the dolphins can use to disable an intruder. They just hit the person in the leg, the plate attaches around the leg, it can’t be pulled off and it sends a float up along with the bad guy.

Diabolical, man.

dolphin2

Note: The sea lion’s work is classified. Maybe they just eat the guy. 

sealion

Hells to the yah.

capn-crunch-pancakes-at-the-eating-house-miami

Man, what I’d give to have one of these. They’re built by Zaha Hadid Architects. Very cool.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Zha, Jazz

Heaven on a bun.

gorgonzola-burger-with-caramelized-onions-heirloom-tomatoes-and-spinach-on-toasted-ciabatta

Looks healthy enough.

the-coronary-bypass-vortex-bar-grill-atlanta-ga

Also known as Heart Attack on a Plate.

deepfriedbacon

Hells to the yah.

pizzacheeseburger

An idea whose time has come.

pizza

Oh yeah.

Dorito-Fried-Mac-Cheese