Archive for February, 2020

Check out that Blanket Octopus, man. Blanket Octopuses get their name from sheets of webbing that stretch between some of their arms. When threatened, they stretch their arms out, creating a blanket-like silhouette meant to frighten would-be attackers away. That’s cool. They are always in the open ocean—in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, as well as in Info-Pacific waters—and never rest on the sea floor. And get this – the Blanket Octopus is immune to the stinging cells of the highly dangerous Portuguese Man-of-War, which it uses to its advantage by yanking the tentacles off and brandishing them as weapons against predators. That’s badass. Anywho, Blanket Octopus.

PS- Be sure and watch the videos below the photos. Nature, man. And as always, click and scroll.

What a world. Click, scroll, be amazed.

German fashion designer Philipp Pleine earned the justified ire of both professional and amateur fashion critics on Saturday with a show he staged during Milan Fashion Week. The collection included a limited-edition selection of purple-and-gold jerseys ($2,070), hoodies ($3,150) and sneakers ($2,200) that take their styling cues from Bryant’s iconic Lakers jersey.

The designer replaced the team’s name with his own on these garments and rendered all the letters and the Lakers legend’s number, 24, in glittering crystals. Bryant’s name is nowhere to be seen, but the back of the jersey and hoodie include a rendering of a black mamba—an homage to the basketball player’s nickname.

On their own, these items might have passed muster, but Plein’s set design pieces for the show proved too much for some onlookers to bear. “Philipp Plein made two gold helicopters for his show today, which falls 27 days after Kobe died in a helicopter crash,” one observer pointed out on Twitter. Another called the choice “Distasteful, tacky and material waste.’

In a statement to Page Six, Plein said he didn’t have time to remove the helicopters (which appeared alongside a tableau of land, sea and aircraft commissioned for the show in November) and lamented that his intentions were misunderstood.

As you know I’m a bit of a fashion maven myself, having written the acclaimed blogs The NRA Held Their Concealed Carry Fashion Show in Milwaukee and It Was Straight Fire, The Thom Browne Fashion Show: A Shoe: Untied Review, Time For The Latest Shoe: Untied Fashion Review!, and Fashion Brand Makes School Shooting Clothing Line And It’s Absolutely Disgusting. Click on those links to read my crack fashion team’s opinions on various shows.

Which brings us to this latest show by a dude named Philipp Plein. As you’ve already read, it was supposedly a “tribute” to Kobe Bryant as models in Lakers style jerseys paraded on stage around (ugh) golden helicopters. In what world, my friends, would someone think this was a good idea? Golden helicopters? Good God almighty that’s horrific. And since Mr. Plein feels so “misunderstood” I’d really like to hear his explanation. Check out the photos, but be preapared to wince.

Ohio seems well represented.

Check out Jonathan, the oldest damn animal in the world. Jonathan is a Seychelles Giant Tortoise and has lived through a lot. I mean, this dude was born in 1832 and has lived through the the Civil War, both World Wars, 9/11 and that God awful 2020 Super Bowl Halftime Show. Hell, Jonathan was born before Albert Einstein, Mahatma Ghandi, Vincent Van Gogh, Thomas Edison and freakin’ Betty White.

At 188-years old he’s now living a relaxing life on the remote island of St. Helena in the South Atlantic, just chillin’ like a villain in the sun whilst eating grass and weeds and stuff.

And get this – Jonathan is so popular on St. Helena that his portrait is on the back of the island’s five pence coin. That’s cool. Anywho, Jonathan the World’s Oldest Known Animal.

I know, captivating title. You’re welcome.

Anyway, this is a time-honored question that has plagued the minds of the citizenry for decades. Why do people feel the need to stick their tongues out when a camera is focused upon them or when talking a selfie? Such a strange custom, amirite? And isn’t it sort of rude and off-putting? But maybe that’s the point? The mind reels. Here’s what my crack staff found out after minutes hours of mind-numbing research on the interweb, or more specifically Psychology Today: 

No scholar appears to have covered tongue protrusion systematically, comprehensively, and cross-culturally. It’s safe to say that no ultimate, authoritative source yet exists to account for the phenomenon. 

Well, hell, Psychology Today is no help. Bottom line, there are a lot of people who are plagued with the idea that this is a good look for them.

Hey, this is just my opinion but if you’re above the age of 18 and you’re sticking out your tongue in pictures we will all be making fun of you for it.*

*Unless you live in a Tibet where sticking your tongue out is a common greeting. In that case you get a pass.

With all that said, let’s take a look at some examples, followed by some historic tongues, or the possible originators if you will.

Yeah, I don’t get it either, but maybe we can blame this guy?

No? What about these two?

That’s Gene Simmons of KISS and Debbie Harry of Blondie for all you youngbloods out there. But let’s go back a little farther. Can we blame it on the Rolling Stones?

Nah, surely not. But wait, I just had an epiphany. I think I’ve got it! It goes back to THIS rapscallion!

Einstein, man. Dude was a pioneer in more ways than one.

Anyway, grownups, please spare us the sight. Put that obnoxious flappy tongue back in your mouth. Nobody wants to see it, and despite what you might think it’s not cute, funny, silly, or sexy. It’s just gross. And to those of you who continue to adhere to this goofy practice I say this:

 

PS- This brought up an interesting debate amongst the staff here at Shoe: Untied – Has the flappy tongue replaced the dick lips is selfiedom? I say it has.

PPS-

 

 

Nebraska. Who knew? Complete rankings are below the map.

Here the 2019 rankings:

1. Nebraska
2. Iowa
3. Missouri
4. South Dakota
5. Florida
6. Kentucky
7. Kansas
8. North Carolina
9. Montana
10. Hawaii
11. Arkansas
12. Wisconsin
13. North Dakota
14. Vermont
15. New Hampshire
16. Alabama
17. Texas
18. Idaho
19. Mississippi
20. Wyoming
21. Oklahoma
22. Tennessee
23. Massachusetts
24. Michigan
25. West Virginia
26. Ohio
27. Rhode Island
28. Georgia
29. Indiana
30. Connecticut
31. Maine
32. Delaware
33. Colorado
34. Pennsylvania
35. Utah
36. Louisiana
37. New Mexico
38. Arizona
39. Virginia
40. Minnesota
41. South Carolina
42. New Jersey
43. California
44. Oregon
45. Nevada
46. Washington
47. Illinois
48. Alaska
49. New York
50. Maryland

MJ was an absolute assassin. Trash talk him and you were toast.

Check out that Dracula Parrot, man. Looks like a cross between a parrot and a damn vulture. It’s also known as the Vulturine Parrot, or Pesquet’s Parrot, and its featherless face gives it a bit of a frightening look. This dude mainly eats figs though, not meat. Scientists think its bare face might be an adaptation to prevent bits from sticking to it when diving into a meal, just like a vulture. This guy is native to forests in Papua New Guinea. Anywho, Dracula Parrot.

Over my coaching career I’ve been lucky enough to meet a lot of good coaches and have become pretty good friends with a few of them. Huggs, Billy Hahn, Gary Williams, Jimmy Patsos, Mike Lonergan and some others are all friends and top notch coaches that I’ve learned a lot from. Through those connections I’ve been able to sit in on the practices of Coach K, Jerry Tarkanian (also had drinks with him and Dickie V but that’s a whole other blog), Tom Izzo (slept in his basement which was pretty cool), Thad Matta, Joe. B. Hall, Rick Barnes, Archie Miller, Keith Dambrot, Skip Prosser, Pete Gillen, Jay Wright, and The General himself – Bobby Knight.

With Coach Knight back in the news (he returned to Assembly Hall last weekend for the first time in 20-years) I was reminded of the first time I met him. It was w-a-y back in the fall of 1985 and I went to Bloomington for a weekend to watch practices. My head coach at the time had some connections, hence the allowance into the otherwise private practices.

As I recall the first practice was around 11:00 AM, and we arrived at Assembly Hall a good 30 to 45-minutes early. Somebody, I can’t recall who, walked us in and sat us at a table right at mid-court. Shortly after we sat down another guy walked in with a big kid in a letterman jacket and they were seated beside us.

The Indiana staff that year was comprised of Ron Felling, Kohn Smith, Royce Waltman and Joby Wright, and one of the graduate assistants was Dan Dakich, who I’ll get to shortly.

I remember Wright in particular was running around nervously, awaiting the arrival of The General and making sure the players were doing what they were supposed to be doing during pre-practice.

Finally, a few minutes before practice was to begin Coach Knight came strolling in wearing a fishing hat and vest. I’m being dead serious here. He’d clearly been doing some angling that morning and hadn’t gotten around to changing yet. After a couple laps around the court he stopped, shook our hands, told the kid beside me to take his hat off, even though coach was wearing a bucket hat with fishing lures stuck to it.

Everyone was scared to death, including me. Hey, I was not yet 30 and had seen The General on television. Hell, it was just 9-months prior when he did this:

Anyway, the dude was a little scary and I was a young coach who was completely intimidated by the legend that was Bob Knight.

He soon went back to the locker room, changed into his coaching gear, and proceeded to begin practice. As we watched, Knight was patrolling the court, making sure everything was done with pinpoint precision. At one point he stopped, pointed at grad assistant Dakich, and told him to move the line up in a drill he was running. Knight walked away, turned to look back, then went back to Dakich and let him have it:

“Damn it Dakich! I told you to move the line closer to the basket! If you can’t follow directions you’ll be running the damn steps!” 

I have to admit it was a little surprising, even to me. I mean, making players run stairs is one thing but I’d never seen a coach threaten an assistant with it. With that still on my mind, when we went to the locker room after practice I asked Dakich if Coach Knight had been serious and he said that absolutely he was, that it wouldn’t have been the first time a grad assistant had run the stairs.

Finally, we actually got to go into Coach Knight’s office and have a chat with him about practice and the state of the team. He was polite, answered questions, and all-in-all it was a nice visit.

A surprise came later though, when John Feinsten’s book “A Season on the Brink” was published. It was a best-seller that detailed Indiana’s 1985-1986 season, and Feinstein had been given unprecedented access to the team and coaching staff. As I read the book I came to a passage that detailed Knight yelling at Dakich and threatening him with running the stairs. Feinsten then recounted a “visiting coach” asking Dakich in the locker room if it was a serious threat and Dakich saying that indeed it was. I have no recollection of Feinstein being there, but apparently he was. Anyway, in a roundabout way I made it into the book. Wild stuff, man. Look it up.

So that was my one and only interaction with Bobby Knight. I saw him at a clinic a couple years later, said hello, he responded with a “Hmmprfgh” and went on his way. Apparently I hadn’t made much of an impression on him, or maybe he was just being an asshole. I have no idea.

And oh yeah, one more thing. Only later was I told that the kid beside me, the kid that Bobby Knight had instructed to take his hat off, was none other than high school sophomore Shawn Kemp. Yeah, that Shawn Kemp, the future 6-time NBA All-Star:

PS- I also saw Knight throw a high school coach out of one of his clinics for talking during his presentation. True story.

PPS- During that same clinic there were a couple aspiring officials in attendance who happened to be deaf. One of them asked Knight if he thought their handicap would present any problems for them as referees. His response was “I don’t know why it would. We have plenty of blind refs already.” Savage.

NYP – A mysterious object 500-million light years away has baffled scientists after transmitting signals that hit Earth every 16-days. Scientists do not know what is causing the phenomenon, but it is being recognized as the first reliable pattern of fast radio bursts in deep space.

Astrophysicists discovered the pattern in data from the Canadian Hydrogen Intensity Mapping Experiment, or CHIME, radio telescope in British Columbia. In this particular instance, around one to two radio bursts will blast out per hour for four days before going silent for 12-days. The cycle then repeats itself.

These newly discovered repeating bursts suggest that someone, or something, is controlling them.

And so it begins. First a minor blurb in the New York Post, then a sighting of a major asteroid that’s not really an asteroid heading our way, then we’re all laser beamed into smithereens. Seriously, I’ve read Steven Hawking. Basically he said any civilization that has the capability to cross inter-galactic space can treat humans however the hell they want. On a related note, the histories of advanced civilizations meeting primitive ones doesn’t bode well for humankind. What I’m trying to say is that it’s all over, kids. Farewell and goodnight.

PS- Wait. It’s 500-million light years away. Which means it was doing this 500-million years ago, right? I’m so confused.

 

Not a coffee drinker so I do not care. Italy is a bit of a surprise though.

Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman purchased a $548,000,000 vessel named Serene. Paul Allen built a yacht named Octopus for $200,000,000. Bill Gates (who happens to be my age and that’s sort of depressing) recently made a purchase worth $645,000,000 because why the hell shouldn’t he? Our boy Bill is the first to buy an eco-friendly mega-yacht that is run entirely on liquid hydrogen. Instead of greenhouse gases, it emits nothing but water. That’s cool. Plus, the yacht can travel 4000 miles before its two tanks have to be refilled, because who wants to pull your mega yacht into Hank’s Marina down in Sayulita? Not I. Anywho, take a gander . . .

[click, scroll, be amazed]

Note: Don’t miss the video below the photos. Incredible.

Da hell? Pig Dog? Pony Pig? The mind reels. What is it? Scroll down to find out.

Here’s the photo flipped 180 degrees. Does this help? No?

Ah, there it is. Puppy! And the best part is that his name is Doug.

So good. So, so good.

[click and scroll for the funniness]

Aw, man. Check out those Tiny Horses. Just adorable as hell. Tiny Horses, also known as Miniature Horses, were first developed in Europe in the 1600s and . . . ah, screw it. Just enjoy these photos. Anywho, Tiny Horses.

Ossi Saarinen is a 23-year-old Finnish wildlife photographer. Check out these photos showing the enchanting and magical side of his motherland. Finland, man. Looks amazing.

[click to enlarge, then scroll your little hearts out]

The Metro- Meet Aayla the rescue seal and Stanley the two-year-old-dachshund, who met at the Sea Life Trust Cornish Seal Sanctuary in Cornwall, England. They met while Stanley’s owner, Melanie Talbot, was vacationing there. Despite being from different places, living in completely different environments, and the fact they’re totally different species, these two apparently had an instant connection.

Upon meeting, a curious Aayla swam right up to the window of her tank and pressed her nose to Stanley’s through the window. The pair then spent 20-minutes hanging out and posing for pictures.

Guess this proves you can’t stop love, huh? Two crazy kids run into each other at a Seal Sanctuary, and despite coming from different sides of the tracks and being two different species love blossoms like you read about. Oh, I’m sure they’ll have their detractors with the interspecies mingling and whatnot, but true love will not be denied, my friends. These lovebirds cannot, dare I say will not, be denied.

You be you, Aayla and Stanley. You be you.

PS- Cutest couple ever.

Why? Because I care.

Groundhog Day

A Wicked Smaht Pahk

Facebook Groups

The Death of Mr. Peanut

Baby Nut

Going Away Party

Where It All Began

Old Town Road Showdown

Typical Americans

Loretta

Jimmy Works It Out

Be The One

Take 5

Zero Sugar

Before Alexa

Love Takes Action

Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

Jason Momoa Gets Comfortable

Next 100

Mama Test

Room For You Too

When We All Come Together

[photo]

Oh hell yes he did. Way back in 2014.

PS- And is anyone else wondering what Jack Terrel did with his life? I need to know.

PPS- Also, Kaitlin Rosetta knew exactly what was up.

Seriously Nepal?

[click map to enlarge]

See, an anchor sinks. In fact, that’s its job.

Well played, Flea. Well played.