Here Are Shoe: Untied’s Top 7 Favorite Christmas Movie Characters!

I sat down with my crack staff here at Shoe: Untied yesterday and we attempted to come up with our favorite Christmas Movie characters, and there’s no other way to say it – it turned ugly. So much for the Christmas spirit, huh? Anyway, after much disagreement, screaming, and yes, fisticuffs, we narrowed it down to our Top 7.

Here’s our list. Feel free to tell us who we missed. And as always, we won’t listen.

1. Cousin Eddie (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – 1989)

Yep, Cousin Eddie, the “huge, beastly, bulging man” himself. If you’ve seen the movie and don’t understand that description, you weren’t paying close enough attention. The fact that Randy Quaid didn’t receive an Oscar for this performance is beyond comprehension. And to think it went to Kevin Kline for his role in A Fish Called Wanda. Blasphemy.

Favorite Quote: “You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.”

2. Buddy the Elf (Elf – 2003)

Will Ferrell’s awesome, innocent, hilariously inappropriate elf was a Christmas classic. The scene where he keeps calling the midget an elf makes me laugh every time.

Favorite Quote: “I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.”

3. George Bailey (It’s a Wonderful Life – 1946)

I’ve probably watched this movie once a year since I was 10-years old. It’s all  about appreciating what you have, appreciating the here and now. Great, great movie, and Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey was stellar.

Favorite Quote: “Dear Father in heaven, I’m not a praying man, but if you’re up there and you can hear me, show me the way. Show me the way.”

4. Clark Griswold (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – 1989)

Yep, the second choice from this movie. And who can forget Clark’s Christmas light display? But Cousin Eddie still makes the movie.

Favorite Quote: “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”

5. Willie (Bad Santa – 2003)

Very dark movie. Not real Christmasy. Very inappropriate. Not politically correct at all. Certainly not for children. I loved it.

Favorite Quote: “I beat the shit out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something.”

6. & 7. (The Wet Bandits – Home Alone 1 & 2)

Yeah, you have your classic 2 for 1 situation right here. The Wet Bandits combined were knocked out with a shovel, stepped on nails, took an air gun to the groin, hit with a staple gun three times, burned with an iron twice, took a crowbar to the chest, hit with multiple tools, took the Paint Can Pendulum to the face, landed on a car roof, fell from a burning rope, were burned with a blowtorch, were electrocuted, were hit in the face by bricks, and finally were hit in the face by a pipe which knocked them 15-feet down the stairs only to see the pipe fall on them. Whew. That Kevin was diabolical, man.

Favorite quote: “Harry, it’s our calling card! All the great ones leave their marks. We’re the wet bandits!”

So there are our Top 7 choices. Gwen over in accounting thought we should go with Gizmo from Gremlins but I thought that was just dumb. And Kody, our head of security, insisted on John McLane from Die Hard but that doesn’t seem like a Christmas Movie, just a movie that took place during Christmas. Kody is not happy.

Who are your favorites? Let’s hear ’em!