Archive for the ‘Pets’ Category

So over the weekend I attended a local basketball game and as always The Spark accompanied me. Sparky usually goes with me unless I’m going to be out of the car a really long time or if the weather is too cold or hot. Anyone who has seen my car knows the backseat (and sometimes the front passenger side) is basically Sparky’s territory and is always filled with a doggie bed and some comfy blankets. Anyway, the game ended around 9:30pm and I set off to meet some friends at a local establishment.

However, as I drove there Spark hopped up between the seats and nudged my ear with his snout, his way of telling me he needed to use the bathroom.

Well, I was in the middle of town so I made the quick decision to pull into the new library’s parking lot. Of course the place was empty and also had plenty of grass for Spark to do his business, which he did.

Keep in mind that Sparky is generally well behaved so unless I’m in a high traffic area he’s rarely leashed. Plus he looks both ways before crossing the street, so there’s that. And yes, I’m serious.

Anyway, as we walked back to the car Sparky spotted a little Weiner Dog in somebody’s front yard, and before I could stop him he ran to the street, checked for traffic, and headed to meet a new friend. Just as I trotted over to get him, a man opened his door to let his pup back in, not even looking down as his little Weiner Dog ran back into the house. He head was actually turned back inside like he was watching the TV or something.

You know where this is going, right?

Yep, Sparky walked right into the house with his new buddy.

And just as I was about to yell something, to my horror the man shut the door behind him.

Let me tell you, although the Spark is a constant source of entertainment with his neverending antics, this was certainly a new one.

All I could do was speedwalk up to the door, give it a knock, and try to explain myself.

Guy, opening the door about 3-inches: “Can I help you?”

I swear to you the dude was oblivious. He had no idea my dog had snuck into his house.

Me: “Uh, I was walking my dog and he went into your house.”

Guy: “What? How? What do you mean?”

Me: “He saw your dog in the yard and when you opened the door to let him back in he walked right in behind him. I’m serious. He’s in there.” 

But the guy still wasn’t buying it. I’m pretty sure he suspected I was a serial killer trying to con my way into his house.

Guy: “There’s no way. I would have seen him. Also, my dog’s a she.”

Well, that certainly explained a lot. But seriously, at this point I was starting to get a little upset. I mean, the guy was being very nice, but there was zero chance I was leaving without my best friend.

Me: “Listen, I’m telling you he’s in there. His name is Sparky. I’m going to yell for him.”

Guy: “Sure, give it a try.”

Me: “SPARK! Get out here!”

Of course, the next thing you knew Sparky and his new sweetheart came strutting around the corner, happy as larks, grinning the way dogs do. The guy was incredulous and amazed that Sparky had pulled that off. Being dog people, he and his wife (no, she hadn’t noticed either) gave Spark a belly rub and a treat before we went on our way.

The Spark. He’s the only one I know who can sneak into a stranger’s house and leave with a belly rub and a milkbone.

 

 

Sometimes the narrator makes a video substantially better. This is one such video.

Good boy Monster. Good boy.

New studies show that having a dog as an inside companion can lengthen your life by as much as 24%.

New Yorkers are nothing if not adaptable.

So occasionally I take Sparky to a local cemetery and let him run around a little, just to get some exercise and fresh air. Of course I pick up after him and to be safe I put his leash on if another person comes close to us with their own dog, but usually it’s just a relaxing time for him to smell the smells and hang out with me.

Usually.

The other day? Not so much.

You see, I parked in our usual spot, unleashed The Spark, and of course he leaped out if the car to do his thing. He sniffed around, going from tree to tombstone to crypt, tail wagging with that dog-smile on his face.

But then . . .

As I watched he stopped, stood still, his ears perked up, and off he went like a Jack out of Hell. He bolted over a slight rise and down the other side, snarling like a dog possessed.

I gave chase, calling for him to come back, but as I reached the top of the small hill I saw what Spark was heading for.

A burial.

In progress.

With people standing around solemnly listening to the preacher’s final words in honor of the deceased.

Oh good Lord.

I still have no idea what Spark was so upset about. All I know is that there I was, in a t-shirt, basketball shorts and sandals, sort of whisper-yelling for my dog to get the hell back to me as about 50-sets of grieving eyes stared at me.

Awkward.

All I could do was mumble a “I’m so sorry” several times as I scooped up my furry ball of terror and speed walked back over the hill to my car. Oh, and just before we disappeared Sparky gave one last yap at whatever the hell he was so upset about.

Me? I didn’t look back.

Hero.

DAVIDSON COUNTY, Tenn. (WKRN) — A dog suffered multiple snake bites Monday night in Davidson County while protecting his owner.

Haley McCormack was headed inside her home after work and said she didn’t see the copperhead snake that was lurking near her front porch. “As I pass the corner of my front porch, the snake is already recoiled back,” McCormack explained. “Arlo lunged out and actually grabbed it by its tail.”

Her pit bull, Arlo, proceeded to kill the copperhead snake before it could bite her. While trying to kill the snake, McCormack said Arlo suffered at least three bites to his face.

The dog was rushed to the emergency vet and doctors administered antivenom.

According to McCormack, doctors gave Arlo a positive prognosis. “He’s my hero. He didn’t hesitate to jump in and save me.”

Hell yes Arlo jumped in to save Haley McCormack. That’s what dogs do, jump in front of dangerous animals and save their owners. Arlo didn’t think twice about ripping a highly poisonous snake to shreds, even if it meant getting bitten in the process. A cat would have hightailed it out of there and eaten your corpse after you were dead. Dogs, man. We don’t deserve ’em.

PS- Somebody in Ross County has been driving around and calling the authorities on people who leave their dogs tied outside when it’s too hot.

PPS-

 

According to a French study of social interactions, men who approach a single woman on the street will get her phone number one out of 10 times. If the same guy approaches women while walking a dog his odds go to one in three times. The research says that a man with a dog signals that he has the resources and the willingness to care for others.

Slingshot leaped 35′-3″. The world record for humans is 29′-4 1/4″. Good boy Slingshot. Good boy.

U.K.- Owners who are convicted of beating their pet could face up to 5-years in prison under a new bill being proposed by the UK Government.

This will see the very worst cases of cruelty, such as dog fighting, abuse of puppies and kittens, as well as gross neglect of farm animals, hit with much harsher sentences.

It also marks a massive increase on the current sentencing guidelines for animal abuse, which put the maximum prison term at just 6-months.

Environment Secretary Michael Gove announced the groundbreaking piece of legislation, which will represent one of the toughest crackdowns in the whole of Europe.

He said: “There is no place in this country for animal cruelty. That is why I want to make sure that those who abuse animals are met with the full force of the law.”

Hell yes people who abuse animals should go to jail. It’s a proven fact there’s a connection between cruelty to animals and cruelty to humans, and most serial killers killed animals when they were kids. Hey, even if there wasn’t a connection these idiots should be tossed in the slammer. Nothing worse than a coward who picks on defenseless animals. Hate ’em. And Michael Gove is my kind of guy. He’d have my vote all day, every way.

PS- The proposed Dog Chaining Ban in Ohio has yet to be passed. Hit this link to learn more:

Ohio Introduces Dog Chaining Ban

Awww.

PS- There are no ugly dogs. Period.

Of course, not all dogs can be perfect like some . . .

They call him The Spark.

Some headlines just write themselves, ya know?

Alabama investigators are currently searching for a man who allegedly kept an “attack squirrel” inside his apartment and fed the caged animal methamphetamine in order to maintain its aggressive behavior.

Since Mickey Paulk’s Athens apartment was searched on Monday morning, the caged squirrel has been released into the wild, Limestone County Sheriff’s Office’s Public Information Officer Stephen Young confirms to PEOPLE.

According to Young, officers responded to a report on Monday at approximately 8:30 a.m. that Paulk, 35, was allegedly keeping an “attack squirrel” caged inside his home and feeding it meth.

After obtaining a search warrant, Young says animal control and narcotics officers searched the home, located in the 21000 block of Piney Chapel Road, where they seized a number of illegal items, including the squirrel, meth, drug paraphernalia, ammunition and body armor.

First of all, I’m shocked that Mickey Paulk was in possession of illegal items. Dude looks like a model citizen. Secondly, owning an attack squirrel seems like an odd choice, amirite? Seems like a mountain goat, a saltwater crocodile, or a honey badger would be better choices. Maybe a komodo dragon. Anywho, glad the little tree rat is free to roam the forest terrorizing forest creatures and whatnot. Those meth hangovers are a bitch.

PS- When I was in college at Ohio State guy I know had an attack rat. He’d turn that rodent loose and it would come straight at you. Horrifying.

Dude’s just scrolling The Gram like a boss.

PS- Bonus video of smart animals below.

Gotta respect the commitment.

So you guys know about Google Street View, right? It’s the feature that allows you to punch in an address and see a view from the street of that address. The photos are taken by a car with weird looking cameras on top of it. Anyway, one such photo shoot was hilariously ruined by a little dog that chased the car and ended up in every damn photo.

Love. It.

Awesome.

Check out that Skinny Pig, man. The Skinny Pig is an almost hairless breed of Guinea pig. They typically have hair on their muzzles, feet, and legs but are hairless over the remainder of their bodies. Some of them have a thin covering of fuzzy hair on their backs as well. A Skinny has skin that is mostly smooth with some wrinkling around the legs and neck, the body is full with no appearance of spine or ribs. “Skinny” is the term used for them to describe the illusion of their visually thinner appearance. The modern Skinny Pig breed originated with a cross between haired guinea pigs and a hairless lab strain back in 1978. Anywho, Skinny Pig.

[click, scroll]

 

Live Science: Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear ice-encrusted fur.

Yikes.

Fluffy, an adorably resilient cat recently survived a brush with the polar vortex after her owners found her covered in chunks of ice and snow.
The owners rushed Fluffy, who looked more ice-ball mop than feline, to the Animal Clinic of Kalispell in Montana, where veterinarians essentially defrosted the cat more than a week ago, according to news reports. Fluffy wasn’t frozen solid, Andrea Dutter, executive director of the Animal Clinic of Kalispell, told the Washington Post. But her temperature was well below 90 degrees — the lower limit on the hospital’s thermometers. Cats normally run temperatures a few degrees warmer than humans’ average body temperature of 98.6. “We immediately began to warm her up,” Dutter told the Post. “Warm water, heating pads, hot towels . . . within an hour she started grumbling at us.” Fluffy is normally an indoor-outdoor cat who knows her way back home, but was likely immobilized outside after an injury — which doctors discovered after they warmed her up, according to the Post.

Just like a cat, amirite? A dog would have been eternally grateful after being defrosted, but a cat immediately starts grumbling at the people who saved its damn life. Cats, man. Such assholes. Good for Fluffy though. Maybe cats really do have 9-lives?

PS- I once found a dead, dried up frog under the fridge in my apartment at Ohio State. I took it outside, threw some water on it and it hopped away like nobody’s business. Not even kidding.

HuffPost: Miniature therapy horses are basically magical creatures. One of them is even named Magic.

Magic went to visit a patient who had lived in an assisted-living facility and hadn’t spoken to anyone during her 3-years there. But the moment she laid eyes on Magic, she said, “Isn’t she beautiful?” It was a moment that changed this woman’s life, and was deeply affecting for the people who’d been caring for her, as well.

Magic always seems to find the person in the room who needs her the most. 

Hell yeah Magic does. She is magic after all. Who wouldn’t feel better after laying eyes on that little slice of heaven? Just look at her, giving emotional support to that guy up there. Hell yes he feels better. Magic is a true American heroine, man.

Come to think of it I could use a little Magic myself these days. Maybe I’ll look into having Magic over for some good old-fashioned pony therapy.

PS- Don’t tell Sparky about any of this.

PPS- Mom and Dad used to have miniature donkeys named Poncho and Lefty. They were cool. Dad saw a coyote harassing them one evening and he said Poncho kicked it about 20-feet across the pasture. Poncho was badass.

The story goes like this. A homeless man was admitted to the hospital. After he was taken inside, the nurses noticed his family patiently waiting for him outside. They waited and waited, and the hospital staff kept them comfortable with food until the man was taken care of and released. It turns out this man often went hungry to feed his family so they, in turn, were loyal to him.

Dogs, man. Now if you’ll excuse me I think I have something in my eye.

Seems plausible.

Suitable for framing.

So a random cat crashed a fashion show this weekend, showing how she felt about the ridiculous attire that passes for fashion these days. The disgusted feline swatted at the models, licked herself, and finally did a strut down the catwalk to the delight of the crowd. Well done cat. You spoke for all of us.

That cat don’t give a damn ’bout nuthin’.

A man in New York City named Charlie went to a shelter to get a dog. However, the one he had his eyes on had already been adopted. However, before Charlie left he decided to take a lap around the facility to see what other dogs were available. Just as he was about to leave he saw a little mutt in a the corner of a cage. The little dog’s back legs didn’t work, he had 3 teeth and his ears had been frostbitten. At that point Charlie had a thought: “If I don’t take him, nobody will.” Ladies and gentlemen, meet Engelbert.

Grab a pencil, kids. Ready? December 3rd. That is my birthday. Still plenty of time to order my present. Thank you and goodnight.