Archive for the ‘Pets’ Category

He scoffs at your attempts to restrain him.

“Nice try, suckahs!”

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So some UPS drivers documented their encounters with dogs on the Facebook, and the resulting photos will melt your everlovin’ heart. Here they be, along with comments by the posters. Click to enlarge, dang it.

People Magazine: Mugsy the dog still lives in Severna Park, Md. Given the eerie events claimed by his owners, it’s surprising that Mugsy lives anywhere at all. On Oct. 27, they say, the 4-year-old Jack Russell terrier went to that cold, dread place that Edgar Allan Poe and Stephen King have written about—and he has lived to wag the tail.

Mugsy’s brush with the beyond began about 3 P.M., when he was hit by a car outside Viola Tiszl’s house, where her boyfriend, Glenn Maloney, was taking care of their two children. “I picked Mugsy up,” says Maloney, 30, a restaurant worker, “but he died in my arms.”

Maloney told the children—Megan, 5, and Kevin, 3—to stay in the house. He carried the body to a corner of the wooded lot, dug a hole he estimates was three feet deep and buried him. “I know a dead dog when I see one,” says Maloney. “This one was real dead. He was not breathing. He had no heartbeat.”

Later that evening, after Viola got home from her job at a cable TV company, they took the children—including Raymond, 8, Viola’s son by her ex-husband—to view the grave. Megan said a prayer. They planned to put a wooden cross on the spot next morning. At 5:30 A.M., 14 hours after Mugsy’s interment, Glenn and Viola were awakened by scratching at the door. Glenn went to the door. “I couldn’t believe it,” he says. What he saw was the not-so-late Mugsy, with his “little tail wagging at 90 mph.”

“Mugsy was covered with dirt,” says Viola, 27, “and his eyes were bloodshot.” Incredibly, he seemed quite chipper otherwise. For a few days after the night of the living dog, Zeus, Viola’s German shepherd, gave Mugsy a wide berth. As for Mugsy himself, he is back chasing squirrels, digging for moles and eating the brains of small children who wander into his yard.

OK, I made that last part about brains up. Not gonna lie.

Anyway, wow. Just wow. That’s some Stephen King shit right there. I believe I’d have kept a close eye on old Mugsy for a couple days. Zeus the German Shepherd knew what was up. He sensed there might a little zombie action going on. “Kept a wide berth” indeed.

And hey, that Glenn Maloney sure has some nerve, right? “I know a dead dog when I see one.” Uh, Glen? No, you don’t. You don’t know a dead dog when you see one. You know, because that wasn’t a dead dog you saw. Bottom line, dogs? Don’t fall asleep around Glen. You might wake up buried 3-feet deep in the corner of a wooded lot.

And is anyone surprised the dog that came back to life was a Jack Russell? Little dudes are badass. My Sparky has whipped a coyote and brought a Doberman to its knees once. Being buried alive is like a walk in the park to those guys.

PS – What are the odds Glenn Maloney resented Mugsy’s awesomeness and used the accident as an excuse to get rid of him? If so, the dude had no idea who he was dealing with. Jacks, man. Takes more than being buried alive to kill them. Tough as nails.

Brazil: Marília and Matheus Pieroni were just beginning their tented São Paulo wedding ceremony when, instead of the bride herself, a stray dog who had wandered in from the storm outside marched down the aisle to the bridal chorus. The canine was removed as the young couple entered, but just as they prepared to read their vows, he returned – and laid down to sleep right on top of Marília’s veil. Some women may have gone into full Bridezilla mode at this point, but Marília insisted the pup be welcomed as an official guest, which he certainly was. “It was a very pleasant surprise for me, because I love animals,” Marília told The Dodo. As the night wound down, the newlyweds searched for their surprise acquaintance, but he had crept away unnoticed. Determined to take him in as their very own, a city-wide search commenced for the stray that stole everyone’s hearts. He was found and joined the newlyweds as their newest family member.

I have nothing to add to that, because it is AWESOME.

Check out Luhu the Sad Cat, man. He’s sad.

Can’t tell you how much I love this photo. I’ve looked at several times. So may great faces here.

Big cow guy here. Everyone knows that.  Something about the way a cow looks at you amuses me. Once I was riding my bike on a country road and stopped for a rest and drink of water. I heard a noise over my shoulder, turned, and saw something akin to this:

Adorable, man. We had a nice chat and I was on my way. I think she mooed as I peddled off. Anyway, I’m edging closer to being a vegetarian every damn day. Again, something about a cow. Enjoy, and click to peruse.

Did I mention this is a badass pug?

Totes adorbs.

Dogs, man.

PS- Honestly, I can hear the fear in that guy’s voice. He’s pretty sure Storm is trying to save that deer, but a small part of him thinks Storm might just be hungry for a little venison. Good stuff.

About Sparky

Posted: June 27, 2017 in Animals, Pets, Things I Love
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Sparky, also known as “Sparky the Wonder Dog” or “The Avian Avenger,” joined Shoe on June 27th, 2012 after living for about 4-years in Kentucky. Sparky was asked to leave the Commonwealth after being implicated in a chicken massacre in which he has steadfastly denied involvement.

Since his arrival in Ohio, Sparky has proven himself to be a fun, intelligent, loyal, and non-bloodthirsty companion. He has made several friends and is now considered a resident of Ohio in good standing.

Sparky likes chasing balls, rabbits, small running children, and anything with wings. He also enjoys eating cheese balls, french fries, cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets. His dislikes include anything that runs, anything with feathers, and hobos.

Sparky’s many talents include catching those cheese balls from incredible distances and having a vertical leap of approximately 9.5 feet. He also catches houseflies by mouth on a consistent basis and once leaped from a moving car in an effort to catch and kill a squirrel.

His dream is to someday catch a bird in flight, hopefully a seagull, or make solid contact with a beggar’s throat through the car window as we roll by on the street.

Sparky insists that any connection between his hatred of winged creatures, love of chicken nuggets, and the accusations in Kentucky are purely coincidental.

So I’m down at my parent’s house yesterday and my mother accidentally let her little poodle Jack out the back door. Jack immediately makes a run for it across the yard, the fields, and into the snake, bobcat and coyote inhabited woods behind their place. OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little but believe me when I tell you that Jack would not fare well in the wilderness. Little bro has been raised by my 90-year old parents and would probably be overtaken and eaten by a colony of rabbits or something. Anywho, Jack had vamoosed. Scrammed. Hightailed it for parts unknown. He was gone.

At the time I was standing by the door talking to Mom and The Spark was out in the Jeep, where I’d left him earlier. Mom was a little panic-stricken, so I ran to the Jeep, let Spark out, and yelled, “Spark! Go get Jack!”

Honestly, I have no idea why I did it other than it seemed a good option at the time. I’ve seen Sparky do too many amazing things to doubt him.

At that point The Spark springs out of the Jeep, ears up, and makes a quick inventory of his surroundings. Then he bolts, nose to the ground, zig-zagging across their backyard as I gave chase.

Even with my impressive foot speed I couldn’t keep up, and the last thing I saw was Spark go halfway across the bridge over their lake, make a u-turn, and sprint towards the back part of their property and to the woods beyond.

All I could do was walk briskly towards where Sparky had gone, and for a couple minutes all was quiet. Finally I stopped and listened, but I heard nothing.

And then . . .

In the distance, bursting through the bush, here they came. Jack, with Spark close behind, headed my way. I swear to you that Sparky was herding Jack like a cow or sheep or something. Every time Jack tried to veer off or turn back, Sparky would give him a body bump or an occasional nip to keep him headed in the right direction.

Sparky continued this until Jack was basically corralled directly into my awaiting arms, at which point my flabbergasted mother met me with a leash so she could take Jack back inside.

Of course, my buddy proceeded to receive a ton of attention from both my parents, with ear rubs and plenty of “good boys” all-around. Spark, of course, acted like it was just another day at the office, even though he’d never rescued a poodle in his life.

Sparky, man. He never ceases to amaze me.

Yep. hat’s a happy dog, man.

Listen, everyone knows I’m a big animal guy, and I love dogs in particular. Hey, who couldn’t be a dog lover with this guy by my side? Anyway, although I like cats I don’t feel like you can count on them, ya know? I mean, I can’t imagine a cat chasing off an intruder or warning me about an oncoming 18-wheeler like The Spark has done. And although some cats can be all cuddly and whatnot, others are more standoffish, indifferent and aloof. In addition, a percentage of cats are downright evil, and here’s proof. What you are about to lay your eyes upon are images of pure evil, images that will chill you to the bone, images that shall prove that some cats are demons with eyes that are the Gateway to Hell. View at your own risk.

Ernie will never forget the day a portal from hell opened, right there in his mom’s kitchen.

What the . . . RUN!

10 to 1 odds this demon just walked on across the ceiling after the photo was taken.

Supposedly this monster got into some flour, or perhaps he just murdered the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Sleep well, human. Sleep well.

Here kitty kit . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Santiago Catzalez as he plots his ultimate world domination.

The precise moment Kimberly knew that her beloved Toby had turned on her.

PS- Over the past few years I’ve pissed off clowns, midgets, bowlers, nazis, and LeBron James, among others. I’m sure I’ve just added cat lovers to my list.

Check out Digby, man. Just struttin’ out on that fake grass like a boss. Too bad it was fake grass or there would have been a mallard massacre. Instead we had some loss of dignity for Digby, but being a dog he shook it off and got on with his life. Dogs, man. Nothing gets them down for long. Not even fake grass.

PS- I’d be willing to bet a cat put that fake grass on that pond. Cats are diabolical. 

dog

pitbull

Stop it.

TAMPA, FL (WFLA) – Three people were injured during a dog attack Friday afternoon, according to Tampa Police. Police said a pit bull mix named Scarface attacked its owner and continue to attack other family members who tried to stop the attack.

Brenda Guerrero went outside to put a sweater on the dog when it began attacking her. Her husband, Ismal Guerrero, attempted to pull the dog off his wife when it began attacking him.

Animal Control and Tampa Police responded, and Animal Control shot the dog with a tranquilizer.

The Guerreros were taken to the hospital to be treated for their injuries.

Listen, my stance on this important issue is well documented, because if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times – don’t put clothes on a dog. I know you think it looks all cute and whatnot, but think of the dog, man. He’s embarrassed. Plus, he already has a coat. It’s called fur. Because of this I’m 100% behind Scarface on this one. So hear ye all, and let this be a warning from all dogs to all dog owners: Attempt to clothe me and you shall be attacked viciously, repeatedly, and without remorse. Thank you and good day, sir.

Aww . . .

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Somehow, I’d never read this quote from Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon found a dog beside the body of his dead master, licking his face and howling, on a moonlit field after a battle. He was haunted by this scene until his own death. Here’s the quote:

“This soldier, I realized, must have had friends at home and in his regiment; yet he lay there deserted by all except his dog. I looked on, unmoved, at battles which decided the future of nations. Tearless, I had given orders which brought death to thousands. Yet here I was stirred, profoundly stirred, stirred to tears. And by what? By the grief of one dog.”

napoleon

Truth.

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Love it.

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Huh-larity.

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Hey, anybody in there?

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I can relate.

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