Archive for April, 2019

Matthew “Boogie Man” Boling, an 18-year-old Texan sprinter, smashed a high-school record in the 100-meter dash when he completed a 9.98-second run at the Class 6A Region III track-and-field meet on Saturday. His time would have placed him in 6th place in the 2016 Olympic Games.

Sweet Lord almighty that dude can get it.

Gather around young hoopsters, and let me tell you a story from a bygone basketball era, a time when a travel was a travel, teammates executed something called a “box-out”, and players who actually attempted to block a dunk attempt were applauded and not ridiculed.

Kids, what you’d also see is the now lost art of something called a mid-range jump shot! For those unaware, a mid-range jumper was one that was taken outside the key, yet inside the 3-point line. Yes, this happened regularly!

In addition, back in olden times players like Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain rarely flopped! In fact, there wasn’t even a word for it because it didn’t exist in basketball until the European basketball players took it from their soccer brethren and brought it to the American hardwood.

And oh, by the way, there once existed rules such as only being allowed 2-steps without dribbling the basketball and keeping your hand on top of the ball whilst bouncing it. Such rules have vanished in the mists of time. You may now shot fake, do the bunny hop 3 or 4-times backwards or sideways without dribbling before taking a shot. You may also charge to the rim unhindered, unhampered and unchecked, all the while cradling the ball under your arm like a newborn babe.

And although you may find the following hard to fathom, in days of yore after a player committed a foul he would not always run whining to the referee! Often, said player would respectfully raise his hand in the air for all to see, thus admitting his infraction. All this is true my children!

In conclusion, and you may find this bit of information implausible, improbable, and dare I say inconceivable, during these ancient times those in attendance could sometimes observe a player help an opponent up after he fell down (you have my permission to sit down if you’re not doing so already). It was called an act of sportsmanship. For those unfamiliar with this alien term, I’ll let Webster’s explain:

sports·man·ship

/ˈspôrtsmənˌSHip/

noun

1- fair and generous behavior or treatment of others, especially in a sports contest.

You’re welcome. Feel free to print and cut and clip to your locker/fridge/dashboard/forehead.

But let’s move on to more shocking news. Back in the prehistoric days of basketball (pre-2000 ish) players were permitted to be much more physical! And horror of horrors, on defense you could actually touch your opponent! I kid you not! Yes, young ballers, defenders were actually encouraged to impede his opponent’s progress to the rim! Insanity!

And finally, there once was a time where team was valued over individual! Very few players tried to draw attention to themselves by preening, dancing, shimmying, or doing The Worm at mid-court. Stunningly, celebrations were saved for, you know, actually winning the game!

You may now take some time to let that marinate, soak it in if you will. I know, I know, it’s all a little upsetting to think about.

And thus concludes my basketball history lesson. I’m sure many of you younger folk will find this too hard to believe, that it’s simply a flight of fancy from an old man longing for a simpler, and better, game.

And you know what? You’d be right.

PS- Listen, I realize most fans prefer the wide-open, free wheeling style of play rather than teams playing tough D and running an offense. To me though, that’s the purist and most beautiful style of basketball.

PPS- The NCAA Championship game featured two fundamentally sound teams. They screened, ripped the ball through to the triple threat position after a catch, shot faked, cut hard, took good shots, played hard, played intense defense, and nobody did The Robot or Flatulent Llama after scoring a basket. There’s hope!

Oh, how I’d love to see Draymond Green try and guard Wilt.

Woodstock 50 has been cancelled. Earlier today officials with Dentsu Aegis Network, which is funding the festival, released the following statement to Billboard:

“Despite our tremendous investment of time, effort and commitment, we don’t believe the production of the festival can be executed as an event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name while also ensuring the health and safety of the artists, partners and attendees.”

The statement goes on, “As a result and after careful consideration, Dentsu Aegis Network’s Amplifi Live, a partner of Woodstock 50, has decided to cancel the festival. As difficult as it is, we believe this is the most prudent decision for all parties involved.”

Big shocker here, huh? This is so 2019 it hurts. “A event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name?” BWAHAHAHAHA! They realize the original Woodstock was held in a torrential downpour, without adequate lodging or toilet facilities, little medical staff, and everyone in attendance was risking death by electrocution, correct? Still, the show went on. Hell, people gave birth in the mud, muck and human waste as Hendrix, Joplin, The Band, The Who, CCR and others rocked on.

Good God, man. 2019, 1969 if laughing in your face right now.

Note 1: Promoter Michael Lang, does not agree Woodstock 50 is sunk. He says Dentsu’s announcement was a “complete surprise,” but adds “we’re not giving up on the festival yet.”

Note 2: Does Fyre Fest really have people that skittish? Sad really.

Note 3: Have you ever really taken a hard look at the original Woodstock 3-day lineup? Sweet Mother of Rock. And these bands are just the highlights:

Friday:

  • Richie Havens
  • Ravi Shankar
  • Arlo Guthrie
  • Joan Baez

Saturday

  • Country Joe & the Fish
  • Santana
  • John B. Sebastian
  • Canned Heat
  • Mountain
  • Grateful Dead
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival
  • Janis Joplin
  • Sly & the Family Stone
  • The Who
  • Jefferson Airplane

Sunday

  • Joe Cocker
  • Ten Years After
  • The Band
  • Johnny Winter
  • Blood, Sweat & Tears
  • Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
  • Paul Butterfield Blues Band
  • Jimi Hendrix

 

Why are so many NBA players so damn unhappy? Listen, I understand that money doesn’t buy happiness, but the average NBA salary is expected to hit the $10,000,000 by next season. TEN. MILLION. They’re getting paid to play a game they grew up loving, they’re adored by kids all over the world, beautiful women everywhere are pursuing them, and their families will taken care of financially for generations if they’re smart with their money (which they often are not).

Yet we see guys like Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving pout their way through press conferences, argue with random strangers on social media, and generally looking like they’re the most underappreciated, put-upon people on the face of the earth. And have you ever watched an NBA player walking into an arena? They’re normally walking with their heads down, eyes averted, headphones on, hood often up, appearing as if they’re walking into their own execution. I mean, how hard would it be to look people in the eye, smile, and nod a friendly hello?

The answer is not hard.

Even commissioner Adam Silver said of his league’s players, in a conversation with the Ringer’s Bill Simmons, that “A lot of these young men are generally unhappy.’’

Why?

Is it the isolation? The fear of trusting people? Not really knowing who your friends are? Reading what idiots are saying about you on Twitter?

Charles Barkley, for one, wasn’t buying Silver’s line about NBA players:

That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard any commissioner say,” Charles said a few days later. “These guys are making twenty, thirty, forty million dollars a year. They work six, seven months a year. They travel in private jets. They stay in the best hotels in the world—they ain’t got no problems.”

I understand what Chuck is saying, but the fact is all those things don’t guarantee happiness. I read a study that said while happiness increases as people earn more money, it peaks at around $75,000 a year and doesn’t increase afterwards. I certainly get that.

Random thought: It seems like the bigger the star, the more unhappy the player. Think Durant, Irving, LeBron, and Anthony Davis.

It would be easy to make fun of these guys and point out that they’re just spoiled and lacking self-awareness, but the truth is depression and anxiety are not something to make fun of or shame. I know they’re real, believe me. I just wonder why it seems to be so prevalent among NBA players but doesn’t seem as prevalent among NFL, MLB or NHL players.

There has to be a reason, correct? So why are NBA players so unhappy?

The eyes. You can always see it in the eyes.

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves, ya know? Anyway . . .

Jacqueline Ades, a woman accused of sending a man she went out on a date with once and then sending him more than 159,000 text messages and breaking into his home doesn’t understand why she’s in jail. She also wants to go to trial b,ecause she believes that a jury will not only find her not guilty, they will insist that she marry the man she stalked.

In a recent phone interview with The Arizona Republic, Ades expressed disbelief that she’s been incarcerated since May 2018 after authorities charged her with sending thousands of text messages, many of them very disturbing, over the course of 10-months, ending with her arrest in the man’s home as she was taking a bath.

Ades, who was deemed mentally incompetent at a Rule 11 hearing in March, amazingly, could have actually been released from jail several months ago, according to her attorney Matthew Leathers, if she had just accepted a plea deal which included time served, 10-years probation, and being barred from contacting the victim. However, Ades told The Republic she refused to take the deal because she didn’t believe it was real. She thought it might be the victim’s way of testing her resolve, she said.

Ades said she wants to go to trial, where she’s positive the jury will not only find her not guilty, but will order her and the man she’s accused of stalking to marry her.

Listen, I’ve seen a stalker or two in my day but this lady takes the cake. 159,000 text messages? I did the math and you’d have send 500 texts a day for 318 days to get to 159,000. That’s a whole other level of cray right there, man. And what’s the deal with people breaking into a house and taking a bath? I’ve read about this phenomenon several times. Seems odd. Then again, anyone who would text somebody 159,000 times after one date goes by their own set of rules I guess. And how about the poor schmuck who went out with her? Dude meets a woman on a dating site, takes her out for a nice dinner and the next thing you know he has a full blown screwball on his hands. Anywho, Jacqueline Ades? Batshit crazy.

PS- I listed some examples of the times I’ve been stalked, harassed, or otherwise threatened with bodily harm in this post. Such is the life of a world famous blogger.

My 25 Most Controversial Blogs

Good stuff.

Check out this beauty. The little dude is a Magnificent Spider, otherwise known as a Ordgarius Magnificus, but I’m sure you knew that. According to the Australian Museum it isn’t dangerous to humans, so feel free to pick it up and play with it at your leisure. Magnificent Spiders are often found in New South Wales and Queensland and can grow up to 2.5 cm in length. Unlike most spiders they don’t spin a web, they just use a sticky silk orb to catch their prey. That’s diabolical, man. Anywho, Magnificent Spider.

The female Magnificent Spider has distinctive markings on its body. The body is white with two bright yellow blobs on its abdomen, and a red-coloured spots

A new species of crab that’s the size of a quarter with big, bug eyes has been discovered and it is freaky as all holy hell. Scientists are calling the crab “the strangest crab that’s ever lived” and that would be 100% accurate. This dude had a mismatch of body parts, like a Frakencrab or something. Scientists say it was no bigger than a quarter with bent claws, big eyes, an exposed tail and leg-like mouth parts. Wait. What? Anywho, Callichimaera Perplexa.

Ingenious.

Dude’s just scrolling The Gram like a boss.

PS- Bonus video of smart animals below.

I couldn’t have said it better. Right on, Simon Sinek.

Ohio is well represented. Yay.

So actor Jeff Goldblum is apparently a model now in his spare time, and his latest shoot with fashion giant Prada is borderline terrifying. Apparently, just like in basketball short shorts are back and Jeff is leading the way in all his glory. The photo itself doesn’t need a whole lot of explanation, but I do advise a deep breath before viewing because, you know, you can’t unsee it. Take a gander:

Yep. Those would be short alright. Apparently all of the guys will be sporting those this summer, which is scary. Want to know something scarier? They sell for $838.00.

Then again, Goldblum has always been a bit of a fashion daredevil. Check out this shirt he wore recently:

That’s your basic Hawaiian style shirt with dead shrew shoulder pads. Stellar look. Anywho, Jeff Goldblum? Cutting edge fashionista.

Note: Now that I think about it, Prada is getting attention so perhaps the joke’s on us. Sigh.

Paris, TX- A runaway cow led Texas police on a miles-long chase through city streets and was caught on video hurdling over a pedestrian.

The Paris Police Department said the young cow made a run for it while being loaded into a sale barn and police were called to help chase the runaway animal.

A police dashboard camera recorded the cow running at a high speed through the streets, and running directly into a pedestrian. The man was knocked to the ground, and the cow jumped over him. The man wasn’t seriously injured, police said.

Police said the cow managed to give officers the slip and was on the loose for more than 24-hours before it was hit by a car and killed.

Well, that article certainly took a dark turn at the end, didn’t it? It went from being a heartwarming story of a fearless young cow escaping slaughter to lead a life on the run, roaming the fields and plowing over unsuspecting pedestrians to a story about a cow’s grisly death at the hands of a family in a 2003 Subaru Outback. That’s way too sad, man. Anyway, I know that 24-hours was worth it. Sleep well, young cow. Sleep well.

PS- Watch the video. Dude gets absolutely trucked.

Well, at least according to me. Thoughts?

[click on a photo and scroll]

I swear that dude just came out of nowhere. I didn’t even see him in the video until he jumped up and choked the living bejesus out of that poor bully. Just put him to sleep like you read about, then tossed him to the floor like yesterday’s trash. You also have to love the guy who uses his bike to defend himself. That’s a heady move, man. Finally, I love the commentary from the guy filming: “Dayum. Daaaaayum. Daaaaaaaaaaayum!” Good stuff.

To begin, there’s no way I’m ranking these songs. They’re all just too good. I’ve been a huge fan of Motown and the Philly Sound since I was a little kid and nothing has changed since then. I’ve seen bands like The Temptations, Stylistics and Chi-Lites live and I once sang “Love Train” with The O’ Jays on a Columbus to Detroit flight. Not even kidding. I even wrote about it in this blog:

The O’ Jays and I

Good times with two great friends I miss very much. That said, what follows are twenty of my very favorite Motown/Philly Sound songs. Every single one touches me in one way or the other.

My Girl – The Temptations (1965)

Ah. The soaring vocals, the beautiful melody, this Smokey Robinson penned song one has it all. And David Ruffin’s vocals? Heaven, man. HEAVEN.

The Tears of a Clown – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles (1970)

How could a song written by  Hank Cosby, Smokey Robinson, and Stevie Wonder fail, you ask? Answer: It could not. Love the upbeat melody combined with the terribly sad lyrics.

I’ll Be There – Jackson 5 (1970)

How Michael Jackson pulled this off at such a young age is beyond my comprehension. I’ll let Melody Maker give their take: “Rarely, if ever, had one so young sung with so much authority and grace, investing this achingly tender ballad with wisdom and understanding far beyond his years.” Listen to this song and understand that Michael Jackson turned 12 one day after it was released.

Here’s a bonus link from 1983. Stellar stuff.

Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology) – Marvin Gaye (1971)

Marvin Gaye not only sang an amazing political song called “What’s Going On”, he also released this tune about our environment. Beautifully sang, great lyrics.

Let’s Stay Together – Al Green (1972)

Quite simply one of my very favorite songs of all-time, regardless of genre. One of my Bucket List goals is to go to the Reverend Al’s church in Memphis. It will happen. For now I have to be content watching this cool cat sing via video. Check him out:

Love Train – O’ Jays (1972)

This one is extra special to me, partly because I actually sang it with them. Well, sort of (check the link I posted above). Just an upbeat, happy song that you can’t help singing along to.

Midnight Train To Georgia – Gladys Knight & the Pips (1973)

Love this song, and Gladys Knight’s voice is at the peak of its glory. Still, it wouldn’t be what it is without the background vocals of the legendary Pips. Absolutely gorgeous.

Oh Girl – Chi-Lites (1972)

Without a doubt one of the saddest, most gut-wrenching songs ever recorded. Beautifully sung by Eugene Record, who also wrote and produced it. Again, a favorite regardless of genre.

Sideshow – Blue Magic (1974)

The song is noted for its gorgeous melodies and introduction, in which one of the band’s members acts like a master of ceremonies, declaring: “Hurry!! Hurry!!! Step right up! See the saddest show in town for only 50 cents!” Then the song kicks in . . .

Easy – Commodores (1977)

Love Lionel Richie’s vocals, the raw guitar sound in the middle, and of course the lyrics . . . “I’m easy like Sunday morning . . .”

I’m Stone in Love With You – The Stylistics (1972)

Believe it or not I saw The Stylistics at the Ross County Fairgrounds, sometime around 1973 or ’74. And yes, Russell Thompkins, Jr. had the voice of an angel.

So Very Hard To Go – Tower of Power (1973)

The Tower of Power Horns Section absolutely kills in this song, and when you combine that with Lenny Williams’ soaring vocals and a beautifully sad melody you have one of the best R&B songs ever recorded. Again, never ever gets old.

Too Late To Turn Back Now – Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose (1972)

Eddie Cornelius had a helluva run back in the early 70s with songs like this one and “Treat Her Like a Lady”, and he, brother Carter and sisters Rose and Billie Jo are flawless on vocals. Random thought: I have no idea why Billie Jo isn’t mentioned in the group’s name. Fun fact: The Cornelius clan hailed from Dania Beach, Florida and had a member named Cleveland E. Barrett who was killed in a car accident just before the band hit it big.

Note: The band isn’t seen in this video but some of the best damn Soul Train dancing surely is.

Keeper of the Castle – Four Tops (1972)

This is a lesser known Four Tops song that is a social commentary on men’s roles in relationships, and I always liked it. It might be a little dated as far as content was concerned but it still carries a great message. Love it.

Hot Fun in the Summertime – Sly & the Family Stone (1969)

Quite simply the best song about summertime ever recorded. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it. On a related note, Sly was about the coolest cat in music for years.

Everybody Plays the Fool – Main Ingredient (1972)

There was a period when many R&B songs began with somebody talking, and this is an example of that trend:

Okay, so you’re heartbroken
You sit around mopin’
Cryin’ and cryin’
You say you’re even thinkin’ about dyin’?
Well, before you do anything rash, dig this . . .
Oh, and that lead singer is Cuba Gooding Sr.

Ghetto Child – The Spinners (1973)

This is one of The Spinner’s less famous songs, but one of my favorites, Great message too. Love the dueling vocals.

Nothing from Nothing – Billy Preston (1974)

From none other than the man who played piano for The Beatles on “Get Back” and just happened to be on the rooftop with them during their last performance together. Also, greatest afro ever.

I Just Can’t Get You Out of My Mind – Four Tops (1973)

I’m not sure what it is about this song I love so much. The melody, the vocals, there’s just something about it all that appeals to me. Maybe it’s because the voice of Levi Stubbs never sounded better.

The Love I Lost – Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes (1973)

Ah, Harold Melvin. Amazing voice and an incredible song with poignant, aching lyrics. Doesn’t get a whole lot better than this one. I also love the slow buildup with the guitar and keyboards, as the vocals don’t even begin until the 45-second mark.

I just realized I have a very narrow window where R&B is concerned. My Top 20 songs were from the following years: 1965 (1), 1969 (1), 1970 (2), 1971 (1), 1972 (7), 1973 (5), 1974 (2), 1977 (1). Interesting.

 

 

 

 

 

So these two rangers over in the Congo rescued a couple orphaned gorillas and now they’re all besties. The gorillas, both females, have taken to walking around like their heroes, which is sort of cute. I think.

Note: Why is an upright gorilla less intimidating than a gorilla on all fours? Those two look like a couple construction workers on break, man.

Interesting.

Conan dusts off his vest from the ’80s club scene to taunt deadly spiders and forage for Jack Daniels nips.

Yeah, I know, many of you will know some of these. I mean, everyone knows how the Rollling Stones got their name, right? That original guitarist Brian Jones was doing an interview over the phone for Jazz News and was asked what the name of his band was. On the floor was a Muddy Waters LP and Jones noticed the track “Rollin’ Stone” on the case. He promptly said that was the band’s name, and they stuck with with it, only modifying it to The Rolling Stones. That said, some band name origins are not well known at all. Hence, this blog. Enjoy . . .

The Beatles: Who else did you think I’d start with, man? The Beatles name was inspired by Buddy Holly, whose backing group was called the Crickets. All four Beatles were big fans, their earliest shows often featured his music and Paul McCartney later purchased the publishing rights to Holly’s songs. Prior to this The Beatles were called The Quarrymen and The Silver Beetles. They ditched the “Silver”, changed “Beetles” to “Beatles” (get it? Beat?) and the rest is rock history.

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain himself stated that they went with Nirvana because “I wanted a name that was kind of beautiful or nice and pretty instead of a mean, raunchy punk name like the Angry Samoans.” Previous band names – Ted Ed Fred and Pen Cap Chew. So yeah, Nirvana is much better.

Eels: I’ve heard Mark Oliver Everett explain this many times. Before Eels, Everett was known simply as E and had released two excellent albums under that name. When he formed a band he wanted a name that would allow his new CDs to sit alongside his old ones in the record stores (E, then Eels). What he didn’t consider was band names like The Eagles that would make his name choice inconsequential.

R.E.M.: No, REM doesn’t stand for Rapid Eye Movement. The truth is the band got its name by way of a random dictionary grab by Michael Stipe. Previous band names- Twisted Kites and Cans of Piss. True story.

AC/DC: Malcolm and Angus Young’s sister Margaret came up with this one. She suggested it to the guys after seeing the letters “AC/DC” on a vacuum cleaner or sewing machine, nobody can remember exactly which. Not the most exciting story in the world, but there it is.

The Doors: The boys got this one from Aldous Huxley’s book “The Doors of Perception,” which Jim Morrison particularly liked. By the way, it is an amazing book.

Pink Floyd: Syd Barrett named Pink Floyd by combining the names of two bluesmen from his record collection: Pink Anderson and Floyd Council. Anderson Council didn’t sound right, hence Pink Floyd.

Meat Loaf: Meatloaf was the nickname given to Marvin Lee Aday by his high-school football coach. Original band name- Meat Loaf Soul.

They Might Be Giants: I’ll let TMBG’s John Linnell explain this one: “It’s the name of a movie. It’s not a good movie and it doesn’t hold that much significance for us.” Alrighty then.

Guns N’ Roses: Hollywood Rose member Izzy Stradlin spent some time in the mid-’80s as roommates with L.A. Guns member Tracii Guns. When L.A. Guns needed a new singer, Hollywood Rose’s Axl Rose came aboard. This led to the 1985 formation of Guns N’ Roses. Previous ideas for a name- Heads of Amazon and AIDS. Yikes.

Bob Dylan: Young Bobby Zimmerman was a fan of Matt Dillon – the sheriff on the TV western Gunsmoke. In 1958 he told his high-school girlfriend that he planned to devote his life to music and assume the name Bob Dillon. He changed the spelling because he thought it looked better.

Badfinger: Once the band was signed to Apple Records by The Beatles the band took the opportunity to change their name. The name “Badfinger” was derived from “Bad Finger Boogie,” the working title of The Beatles’ “With a Little Help from My Friends”. Original band name – The Iveys.

REO Speedwagon: The REO Speed Wagon was introduced in 1915 as a predecessor of the pickup truck. Fast forward to 1967 and keyboardist Neal Doughty was in a college class that studied the history of transportation. One day he walked in and REO Speed Wagon was written on the blackboard. Boom. Band name born.

Lynyrd Skynyrd: This name was a tongue-in-cheek swipe at Leonard Skinner, their high-school gym teacher who had often clashed with them for having long hair and being rebellious hippies.

Alice Cooper: Alice Cooper was originally the band name, selected as a replacement since the Nazz had already been taken by Todd Rundgren. The fictional Alice was envisioned as a demented, possibly homicidal elderly woman, and singer Vince Furnier played the part onstage so well that he ultimately became more associated with the name than the band did.

KISS: When Peter Criss brought up the fact that he had previously played in a band called Lips, Paul Stanley chimed in with the name that would accompany the band to superstardom – KISS. Original name – Wicked Lester. Note: KISS does not stand for Kids In Satan’s Service as many believe.

Three Dog Night: Supposedly, it was June Fairchild, then girlfriend of Three Dog Night’s Danny Hutton, who came up with the name. She’d heard a story about Australians sleeping with dingos for warmth on the coldest nights.  The colder the night the more dogs they slept with, and a really cold night was a 3-dog night.

Led Zeppelin: The Who’s Keith Moon and John Entwistle joined Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones on the Jeff Beck single “Beck’s Bolero” in the summer of 1966 – leading to studio chatter about the prospect of forming a new group. Moon joked that it would go over like a lead balloon. While trying to come up with a name for a new group featuring Jones, John Bonham and Robert Plant two years later, Page remembered Moon’s line – and thus became Led Zeppelin.

Def Leppard: Singer Joe Elliott initially coined the name “Deaf Leopard” while writing reviews for imaginary rock bands in his high-school English class. Tony Kenning, percussionist for the band’s original lineup, suggested modifying the spelling to make the name seem less “punk.” Def Leppard was born.

Steely Dan: It should come as no surprise that literate rockers like Donald Fagen and Walter Becker were reading some pretty twisted stuff in their college days. They got their name from William S. Burroughs’ legendary 1959 novel ‘Naked Lunch,’ in which a steam-powered, strap-on dildo is referred to as the “Steely Dan III from Yokohama.” Glad they chose Steely Dan over Strap-On Dildo.

So there ya go. Have anything to add? Let me know!

Well, shit.

Since today is April 20th, I thought I’d post this article from Time magazine explaining the significance of the date to those of you who might be unaware. Interesting stuff.

TIME- Both marijuana smokers and non-smokers recognize April 20 or 4/20 as a national holiday for cannabis culture, but few actually know how the date got chosen.

Some say “420” is code among police officers for “marijuana smoking in progress.” Some note 4/20 is also Adolf Hitler’s birthday. And some go as far as to cite Bob Dylan’s song “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” because 12 multiplied by 35 equals 420.

But, to put it bluntly, those rumors of the history behind how April 20, and 4/20, got associated with marijuana are false.

The most credible story traces 4/20 to Marin County, Calif. In 1971, five students at San Rafael High School would meet at 4:20 p.m. by the campus’ statue of chemist Louis Pasteur to partake. They chose that specific time because extracurricular activities had usually ended by then. This group — Steve Capper, Dave Reddix, Jeffrey Noel, Larry Schwartz, and Mark Gravich — became known as the “Waldos” because they met at a wall. They would say “420” to each other as code for marijuana.

As Reddix told TIME in 2017, “We got tired of the Friday-night football scene with all of the jocks. We were the guys sitting under the stands smoking a doobie, wondering what we were doing there.”

The shenanigans continued long after 4:20 p.m., too. The group challenged each other to find ever-more-interesting things to do under the influence, calling their adventures “safaris.”

Later, Reddix’s brother helped him get work with Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh as a roadie, so the band is said to have helped popularize the term “420.” On Dec. 28, 1990, a group of Deadheads in Oakland handed out flyers that invited people to smoke “420” on April 20 at 4:20 p.m. One ended up with Steve Bloom, a former reporter for High Times magazine, an authority on cannabis culture. The magazine printed the flyer in 1991 and continued to reference the number. Soon, it became known worldwide as code for marijuana. In 1998, the outlet acknowledged that the “Waldos” were the “inventors” of 420.

A Minnesota sheriff’s office encountered a couple of true road hogs earlier this week.

A driver who was pulled over for having trouble staying in his lane turned out to be operating the vehicle with a 250-pound pig on his lap, Sgt. Jason Foster told Minneapolis news station KMSP-TV.

In the post, the sheriff’s office noted that its officers have encountered plenty of drivers distracted by things like cellphones, food or changing the radio station, but catching someone driving with a lap pig “was a first.” 

The man’s erratic driving was apparently caused by the pig leaning against the steering wheel.

Foster told the TV station that the man had a pig on his lap because he was moving to another part of the state and didn’t want the pig to get cold on the journey. The sergeant let the driver off with a warning.

Listen, I have no beef with this driver. Just take a look at that guy hamming it up in the photo. Can’t blame him for hogging the front seat. He’s adorable. Nothing wrong with wanting to keep him warm. And kudos to the cops for letting the driver off with a warning. That was quite a twist in the tale, man. But really, who amongst us hasn’t driven with a pig on our lap?
PS- Try as I might I couldn’t come up with a “pig in a blanket” line even though this story involved keeping a pig warm. I’m off my game, man.

“Some day even the experts will figure out that crime is not caused by rap music, but by a power structure of self-absorbed property owners so brain dead and stupid they won’t even see that if you’re too damn greedy to pay taxes for schools and services, they’re not going to be any good anymore! And that uneducated time bombs are a very poor investment as a future work force. And if you go on teaching people that life is cheap, and leave them to rot in ghettos and jails, they may one day feel justified in coming back to rob and kill you. Duh!”

Jello Biafra

Gotta respect the commitment.