Do You Know It’s Twixmas?

Posted: December 28, 2019 in Holidays, Humor
Tags: ,

So yeah, that’s what they call where we currently exist, the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day – Twixmas.

Seriously, that’s the name. Check it:

Twixmas. (slang) Proper noun. The period in between Christmas and New Year, typically December 26th-30th.

See? I wouldn’t lie to you. Well, usually.

Twixmas is theoretically a time to reflect on the past year yet face the fresh challenge of a new year, all whilst eating leftovers.

But it’s a strange time, is it not? A time of limbo after the big Christmas Comedown yet before the exhilarance of New Year’s Eve. It’s a time for withdrawal, from both the highs of Christmas joy and the prodigious gluttony of holiday feasting. It’s a blurry blaze of binge eating, where the days blend together in a fuzzy haze of unrelenting food comas.

It’s an odd bubble of null time, just a gray gap of emptiness where time ceases to exist.

It’s kinda like 6-straight Sundays, amirite? People lose all motivation to behave like a functioning adult. All known laws of human existence are put on hold as you lose track of the calendar. Is it 2019 or 2020? What day is it? Wednesday? Saturday? Morning? Afternoon? What is happening? The mind reels.

It’s a weird time of the year, man.

And somehow, even the Christmas Tree looks sadder, with its needles beginning to fall and the color transitioning from a glowing green to a deathly brown. Depressing.

Nobody knows what to do with themselves. Should I shop? Maybe return or exchange that unicorn sweater Granny got me? As for myself, in an effort to stay focused I’ve organized closets, reframed photos, and even organized my junk drawer and area under the sink because hell yes I did.*

*I honestly did these things. You can ask my sister because I proudly invited her over to look at my achievements. I’m so proud.

Also, in the spirit of my late mother I took down all Christmas decorations on December 26th. Once Christmas was over Mom was done with the holidays, man, and I shall proudly continue her time honored tradition. Everything back to normal!

After all that cleaning I became so bored I binge watched every episode of Cheers (Coach > Woody), The Office (again), Schitt’s Creek (excellent), Ancient Aliens (aliens were at Gettysburg and don’t tell me they weren’t), something called The Toys That Made Us (the My Little Pony episode was stellar), and everyone one of those series about the decades. Yep, I watched The Seventies, The Eighties, The Nineties, and The 2000s so I’m all caught up. On a related note, why isn’t there one on the sixties? This omission disappoints me greatly.

So anyway, now you know what to call it, that weird period between Christmas and New Year’s Day – it’s Twixmas.

Alas, on January 2nd we’re all thrust back into the harsh face of reality that is life. I, for one, cannot wait.

Happy New Year everyone!

Gimme a holler.

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