Listen, I love the movie “Elf.” I truly do. I believe I had Buddy at #2 on Shoe: Untied’s Top 5 Favorite Christmas Movie Characters. That’s quite an honor, man. However, I do have a problem with the movie, something that’s nagged at me for years. My problem is this – Buddy had lived in the North Pole for 30-years ( I know this because I looked it up. On Christmas Eve 1973, a baby boy crawled into Santa Claus’s sack at an orphanage and was unwittingly transported back to the North Pole). Anyway, what do elves do, like year-round? They build stuff. In all that time did they ever build anything for Buddy? They did not. Not once did Santa tell the elves to help ol’ Buddy out. Hell, they make toys for millions of kids in a year, man. They could have thrown together some Buddy-sized stuff in an afternoon, yet for over 20-years of his life he slept in a tiny bed, sat in tiny chairs, showered in a tiny shower and had to suffer the indignity of using a tiny toilet. Outrageous.
Bottom line, Santa and his elves were selfish assholes and I can’t get past it.
