Having a Bad Day? It Could Be Worse.

Posted: October 10, 2018 in Animals, Humor, News
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A dog bit off a man’s testicles and penis in a horrific attack at flat in East Lothian.

The 22-year-old was found unconscious in a pool of blood next to an Old English Bulldog, which was also covered in his blood. Police were confronted with the horrific scene when they were called to the property in Haddington on Sunday afternoon.

The man was rushed to Edinburgh’s Royal General Infirmary where he remains unconscious and in serious condition, reports the Daily Star.

The dog was taken to police kennels until the exact circumstances of the attack are known.

So you think you’re having a tough day, boys? Boss being a little rough on you? Wifey giving you a hard time? Kids being little assholes again? Hey, look at the bright side, at least you didn’t get your penis and testicles bitten off by an Old English Bulldog. Yikes.

PS- Man, nothing grabs your attention like that opening sentence, huh? Every man who read it immediately winced, crossed their legs and covered their junk with both hands. 

PPS- I guarantee this guy was doing something weird, like flashing his goods in front of the dog or something. Ol’ Gus probably thought it was a squeaky toy or chew stick or something. Maybe a Vienna Sausage. Hey, he was British.

PPPS- I have no idea if the dog’s name was Gus. It just seems like an Old English Bulldog name. That or Max.

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