Woman Mauled to Death By Weiner Dogs, And That Is In No Way Funny*

Posted: May 17, 2018 in Animals, Humor

A woman in Oklahoma died after she was mauled by dachshunds. On Thursday, 52-year-old Tracy Garcia was attacked by a pack of 7-dogs, all weighing less than 30-pounds and shorter than knee-length, near her home on Banyon Road in Ardmore, Oklahoma.

“From what it appeared, about seven dogs had attacked her,” Carter County Sheriff Chris Bryant told Oklahoma News Four, adding that when authorities arrived on the scene, one of the dogs charged at them, and they had to shoot it.

“Unfortunately, yes, we had to shoot one dog,” Bryant told the outlet. “It did charge our deputies and to protect our deputies, as well as the medical personnel, we did have to put down a dog.”

Well, that’s just unfortunate. Listen, there’s absolutely nothing funny about somebody dying. You know, unless it’s one of those idiots who walks into a lion enclosure or something, then it’s funny as hell. You know what else is funny? A woman being mauled to death by a pack of Wiener Dogs. I mean, do you think her last thoughts were, “Well, this is awkward. Not exactly the way I wanted to check out. Damn you to hell, Weiner Dogs.” And you cannot convince me the cops didn’t make fun of the deputy who shot the charging Weiner Dog. “Really Hank? You had to put a cap in little Trixie’s ass? You couldn’t, you know, jump on a lawn chair or something? Geez. That’s embarrassing, man.” Anyway, hell of a way to go I guess.

PS- Can you imagine being in this woman’s family? 5-years from now somebody will ask you what happened to Tracy and you have to say, “She was taken out by a murderous pack of Weiner Dogs.”

PPS- After rereading this I see that perhaps it’s not that funny. Apologies in advance.

PPPS- Nah, it’s funny.*

Gimme a holler.

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