Response From Pretentious Brit Is Hilariously and Stereotypically Fitting

Posted: July 25, 2017 in Assclowns, Humor
Tags:

I picture him exactly like this.

So awhile back I posted about a tasty new Doritos offering being banned in the USA and Britain for being too spicy. The blog was entitled “And the Wussification Continues: Spicy Doritos Banned In USA, Now Britain”. I beseech you to click on that link before proceeding.

Anyhoo, I received an interesting response from a British bro, and he wasn’t happy. Oh, I get nasty comments from time-to-time so it wasn’t that big of a deal, but I found this one to be particularly humorous. Without further ado, here’s the response, from some dude named JimsEvilTwin:

Absolutely agree with you, the more Americans that choke the better. My dad’s friend owned a 15th century country pub and an American visitor ordered some lunch, including a beef sandwich. He proceeded to put a thick coat of English mustard on it and was warned “careful that is English mustard, you won’t be able to eat it like that”, to which the American replied boastfully “Hey I’m used to American mustard”, he then took a bite from his sandwich and almost choked to death (he received medical attention). It was pretty hilarious. English Mustard is several times stronger than the American crap but Yank egos are too bloated to understand such things. ‘American’ means best, hottest, biggest everything to them, in reality it generally means poor quality, mass produced rubbish!

Wow. Hot take from my British follower there. Hell, he wants us all to choke. That’s just rude. Seriously, man, this dude has to take a deep breath and take a step back. So an American thought he could handle your hot mustard and he couldn’t. Big deal. He is but one American. Why the hatred toward all of us? Still a little touchy because my man George Washington and his boys kicked your ass back in the day? And doth you forget the whole little misunderstanding with Hitler and the Nazis, they from which we saved your asses? Methinks my mate needs to chillax. Perhaps he is simply knackered from eating Fish & Chips all day. At any rate, I am gobsmacked by his response.*

Don’t make us come over there and kick your ass again, Rupert or Clive or whatever the hell your real name is. Have a bloody good evening!

*The British slang terms website is a fun site to visit.

 

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