So hey, they found your cash in an apartment in Nigeria.

Posted: April 17, 2017 in Humor, News
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Yep. Neatly stacked alright.

ComplexNigerian police this week found $43 million in an upscale apartment in Nigeria. The discovery happened Tuesday after the Nigerian anti-corruption unit received a tip. A person said there was a “haggard” woman in “dirty clothes” who was taking bags in and out of the apartment, and it seemed suspicious.

When the cops showed up, they found, well, a ton of money. The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission posted a video of them counting the money: $43 million. The money was “neatly arranged” inside cabinets that were hidden behind a bedroom wardrobe, according to CNN.

The commission says the funds are “suspected to be proceeds of unlawful activity.” Nigeria introduced a new whistleblower policy in December that credits tip-givers. Whistleblowers can anonymously provide information securely, and if their information leads to the police recovering stolen public funds, the whistleblower can receive 2.5-5 percent of the money recovered.

OK, first things first here. Number one, if I ever have the opportunity to store $43-million in cash you can damn sure bet it will be neatly arranged. Nothing worse than sloppy piles of money. Secondly, you can also be damn sure that if I know somebody is storing that much money in an apartment I’ll snitch on them in a heartbeat for 5% of the stash. I think that’s over $2,150,000 if my math is correct. Finally, I’ve been living my life all wrong, man. I guarantee you that this haggard woman in dirty clothes is the same con artist that’s been sending me those Nigerian Prince emails for the past 15-years. Hey, just sit back and shoot out emails all day asking for cash, and if 1 sucker out of 100 bites you’re set for life. That or I might start my own religion. I’m pretty sure I could have 500 followers within a few weeks. People are looking to be led, man, and I’m their guy.

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