Manny Ramirez Signs Best Contract Ever, Gets Unlimited Sushi

Posted: March 13, 2017 in Sports
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So former Red Sox baseball player Manny Ramirez signed with the Kochi Fighting Dogs in Japan recently, and here are some of the stipulations in his new contract:

1) Manny Ramirez will have use of a Mercedes and driver for the entire season.

2) Practices are optional for Manny Ramirez.

3) Manny Ramirez will get a hotel suite on the road.

4) Manny Ramirez will receive unlimited sushi for the entire season.

Mercedes for the year? Nice. Don’t have to go to practice, ever? Helluva perk. Hotel suite on the road? Der. Unlimited sushi? Oh hell yes. Listen, I can get by without a Mercedes for the season, not practicing, or not having a hotel room for a year. But going without unlimited sushi? No freaking way, man. Gotsta have my sushi, and I gotsta have it year ’round.

Attaboy Manny.

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