My Top 10 Trump Tweets

Posted: January 11, 2017 in Humor, Politics, Tweets
Tags:

Listen, my side lost. I get it. And yes, I was surprised (obviously) but not shocked. America is getting exactly what it wanted. Actually I don’t think they’re getting anywhere near what was promised them but that’s another story. Anyhoo, some of my closest friend were and still are Trumpians. Wait, is Trumpians right? Maybe it’s Trumpites? Trumpeters? Trumpanzees? That last one was probably too harsh. I never know what to call them. Still, many are my friends and we somehow, someway, maintained our friendships throughout this long national nightmare of an election. That said, just because we lost doesn’t mean we can’t poke some fun at the winner. Hell, the next year and a half 4-years are probably going to be much more fun for me than had the election gone the other way. So, let us begin by listing my Top 10 Trump Tweets. Why? Because they are awesome.

10.trump9a

So I had to look this one up, but it’s about the actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart who were in Twilight, that vampire movie series, which I’ve never seen. Apparently they were an item for a while, she cheated on him, and The Donald felt the need to give his relationship advice to Robert. Why he’s so invested is beyond me, but his Miss Universe advice is on-point.

9.

trump9

What the hell, man? Back to these two again? Does Trump know something we don’t? I’m starting to think he does.

8.

trump8

Listen, I’m not going to be a hater and loser and criticize this tweet. Was calling September 11th a “special date” a poor choice of words? Yeah, probably. Let’s just give him credit for extending best wishes to all, even the haters and losers. That shows character right there.

7.

trump7

Here we have a classic case of Donnie being Donnie, once again giving relationship advice. I’m guessing it’s his way of getting Katy Perry’s attention, even though saying that “she’s no bargain” was a weird way of doing it.

6.

trump6

Oh for the love of God. What the hell? Let it go, man. Dude was obsessed with these two. I’m so confused right now.

5.

trump5

Listen, it’s hard to argue with Trump here, and this is exactly the sort of attitude that got him elected President of the United States of America. I can see that guy who lives on a back road near me (the one with the Trump Christmas lights on his trailer) reading this and yelling, “Hell yes! Preach it! Reverse racism! We’ll get rid of this show right after we build that wall!

4.

trump4

Ah, this was quite an issue at the time, wasn’t it? Even after it was proven wrong he hung onto it. Still hasn’t admitted he was incorrect as far as I know. Weird, because Donald usually has no problem admitting when he’s wrong, amirite?

3.

trump3

That’s right, damn it! Go to faraway places to help the sick and needy but just know that you may not be allowed back! Honestly, that last line was the one that put it over the top. Just slammin’ those do-gooders like a boss.

2.

trump2

This is so Trump it hurts. Just attacking his critics at the lowest possible level, attacking their personal lives like a beast. Good thing he doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet. Wait . . .

1.

trump1

Yes, this is my favorite Trump Tweet of all-time. It’s The Donald in a nutshell – rude, insecure, self-praising, narcissistic, then following with a back-handed compliment. Vintage Trump, man.

So there ya go, my Top 10 Trump Tweets so far. Of course I’m sure there will be many more to come, and I for one can’t wait.

‘Murica!

funny-donald-trump-jokes

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